CH2 The beginning of the middle of the end.
After the bulldozer ran into Arthur's house, there was a rumbling from the sky. Looking up he saw that it was a huge UFO. Not the band mind you, but the real thing, a huge gigantic ship with spires coming out of the side, not that anyone really knows what spires are. A voice boomed over the rising panic over the earth.
"Earthlings," It said, "Your world is now destined for destruction. I'm sorry but you should have seen the record of eviction written on the moon!" This is as stupid as the idiot who put the warning on the sun which to this day still reads: 'WARNING: Do not look too closely at sun for risk of loss of sight!'
"Told you." Fnord Prefect said calmly wondering if he was going to die on the planet he spent the worst 15 years.
Arthur, panicked, ran around like a chicken with his head cut off pulling at his hair and screaming "We're doomed!" at the top of his lungs. On his second round around Fnord, Fnord grabbed Arthur by the shoulders and shook him. "Don't be so annoying, it's only the end of the world." to which Arthur screamed louder than he had previously before he lost consciousness.
When Arthur woke up he was in an enclosed space. He couldn't see anything. He wanted to scream but what he thought was Fnord's hand clamped over his mouth. "Fnord, who are you?" He asked when the hand removed itself.
"I'm an alien to your world. I'm actually from the Dogstar Sirus."
"Is it nice there this time of year?" Arthur said trying to be formidable.
"It's hoter than it is on the equator on the summer equinox." Fnord said and grinned to himself in the dark.
"Umm. Fnord?" Arthur asked. "Where are we?"
"Some ship I flagged down that picked us up."
"Why can't we see?"
"Apparently they don't have any eyes."
Just as Fnord said that, they were sucked into the vaccum of space not knowing that they had been sitting in the waste disposal part of the ship. If you've never been catapulted into space you don't know how cold it is out there. It's a minus 20 degrees on the warmest day and this was the coldest one yet. This is in contradiction with the terran physicists who say that it's slowly cooling down. If the universe was slowly cooling down, I'd hate to see what it's like when it's finally done. Second, there's no air in space. When they were capulted out on their seemingly last breath of oxygen the vaccum started to compress parts of the human body, mainly the lungs.
Which is why they were exceedingly lucky to be picked up by the Heart of Gold. Probablity would place on them getting picked up was around a google to one. No, a google to 1to the 600th power. If you don't understand math, that's a pretty unlikely probability. So they were lucky.
They didn't know what hit them. All they knew was that one moment they were asphyxiating in space and the next they were, well, wherever they were.
"Fnord?" Arthur asked. He couldn't see anything.
"Yes Arthur?" Fnord said seemingly ages away.
"Where are we?"
"Why must you ask that question every time we end up somewhere?"
Arthur was able to see again and he saw he was being delivered as a baby from some unknown woman. The doctor was Fnord.
"What the hell?" Arthur said.
"I don't know either." Fnord said looking bewildered.
Sensibilty passed them by like a ship in the night, and they found themselves at last on a sea that looked like CoComo floating in a coctail umbrella.
After the bulldozer ran into Arthur's house, there was a rumbling from the sky. Looking up he saw that it was a huge UFO. Not the band mind you, but the real thing, a huge gigantic ship with spires coming out of the side, not that anyone really knows what spires are. A voice boomed over the rising panic over the earth.
"Earthlings," It said, "Your world is now destined for destruction. I'm sorry but you should have seen the record of eviction written on the moon!" This is as stupid as the idiot who put the warning on the sun which to this day still reads: 'WARNING: Do not look too closely at sun for risk of loss of sight!'
"Told you." Fnord Prefect said calmly wondering if he was going to die on the planet he spent the worst 15 years.
Arthur, panicked, ran around like a chicken with his head cut off pulling at his hair and screaming "We're doomed!" at the top of his lungs. On his second round around Fnord, Fnord grabbed Arthur by the shoulders and shook him. "Don't be so annoying, it's only the end of the world." to which Arthur screamed louder than he had previously before he lost consciousness.
When Arthur woke up he was in an enclosed space. He couldn't see anything. He wanted to scream but what he thought was Fnord's hand clamped over his mouth. "Fnord, who are you?" He asked when the hand removed itself.
"I'm an alien to your world. I'm actually from the Dogstar Sirus."
"Is it nice there this time of year?" Arthur said trying to be formidable.
"It's hoter than it is on the equator on the summer equinox." Fnord said and grinned to himself in the dark.
"Umm. Fnord?" Arthur asked. "Where are we?"
"Some ship I flagged down that picked us up."
"Why can't we see?"
"Apparently they don't have any eyes."
Just as Fnord said that, they were sucked into the vaccum of space not knowing that they had been sitting in the waste disposal part of the ship. If you've never been catapulted into space you don't know how cold it is out there. It's a minus 20 degrees on the warmest day and this was the coldest one yet. This is in contradiction with the terran physicists who say that it's slowly cooling down. If the universe was slowly cooling down, I'd hate to see what it's like when it's finally done. Second, there's no air in space. When they were capulted out on their seemingly last breath of oxygen the vaccum started to compress parts of the human body, mainly the lungs.
Which is why they were exceedingly lucky to be picked up by the Heart of Gold. Probablity would place on them getting picked up was around a google to one. No, a google to 1to the 600th power. If you don't understand math, that's a pretty unlikely probability. So they were lucky.
They didn't know what hit them. All they knew was that one moment they were asphyxiating in space and the next they were, well, wherever they were.
"Fnord?" Arthur asked. He couldn't see anything.
"Yes Arthur?" Fnord said seemingly ages away.
"Where are we?"
"Why must you ask that question every time we end up somewhere?"
Arthur was able to see again and he saw he was being delivered as a baby from some unknown woman. The doctor was Fnord.
"What the hell?" Arthur said.
"I don't know either." Fnord said looking bewildered.
Sensibilty passed them by like a ship in the night, and they found themselves at last on a sea that looked like CoComo floating in a coctail umbrella.
