Thank y'all for getting me to work on this insane story again. I mean, I love this insanity. It's mostly warm up work for when I work on my actual nonfiction stories. So thanks again and welcome to the insanity known as my brain hyped up on coffee.

H2G2- Chapter 4.

"What?" Arthur said as he tried to gain composure. It wasn't working. "I just asked for tea."

"Who can say when the world change? Who can say why our lives change? Only time" The sound system was blaring.

"It's all your fault!" Zaphod said and charged Arthur strangling him. "It's your fault we're going to die!"

"What?" He managed to cough out. He didn't understand. Like most terrans he didn't understand anything that was beyond his reasoning, which to say for our dear friend Arthur is a lot.

"Volgons. They kill. They maim. They destroy. They found us. They are going to maim, kill, destroy us and the ship we are currently arguing on." Fnord spelled out.

"Ohhh!" Arthur said. He looked over at the ship's computer terminals and suddenly had a thought which for Arthur is usually a big thing. They reason later it was the improbability drive. "What can override the system?"

"Well," Zaphod thought for a moment. "Usually ghosts work." He said and grinned. "I always wanted to meet my great great great great great great great great great great great great Grandfather. He'd know what to do."

They stood in a circle feeling foolish, at least Arthur felt foolish. He looked behind him where the computer was still thinking and silently swore at himself. Why did he have to be so unintelligent? Was unintelligent a word? What was a word?

"Stop thinking so hard." Fnord said to Arthur, "It's going to kill you eventually. I can see the smoke rising."

They stood in silence holding hands. Arthur half expected someone to break out with a guitar and start singing Kumbyah. As he finished that thought, there appeared a mist in the circle between them. The mist started solidifying and out of it Arthur got a glimpse of a fez.

"You're not my G-12 Grandfather." Zaphod said to the swirling mist as it solidified into a person around middle age wanna be swami with the Fez on his head.

"Of course not!" The figure said to Zaphod. The figure then turned to Fnord Prefect and read his nametag. "Oh my!" He pointed. "Hail Eris!" He thundered and threw up what to Arthur looked to be a peace sign.

"All Hail Discordia." Fnord said back one hand held in the same V shape. He then twisted his eyebrows and added, "Who are you?"

"Ahh, you worship the Lady and you do not know who I am?" The guy tipped his fez and grinned, "I am Macalypse the Elder! I am the first Episkipos of the Erisian Church. You of all people, wearing a shirt that says Fnord should know that!"

"Er," Fnord started, "Actually, I just breezed through the book. It was a long journey and I didn't want to waste time in a bookstore, and spending more time in the local pub."

"Spoken, like a true Erisian!" Maly agreed.

"Look," Zaphod said apparently feeling more and more out of the loop. "If you two are done with your bonding ritual then I have a preposition for you Macalypse."

"Oh?" He said. "Is their alcohol involved?"

"Just tea." Arthur finally felt he knew enough to add imput.

Maly shrugged and grinned, "Sure."

It took less than a minute (45 seconds to be exact) to fill Maly in on the problem they are having. He nodded along the string thing on his fez bouncing to the rhythm of the Enya CD. "And that's that." Zaph finished.

Maly thought for a second and then finally said, "Fnord, you remember that part in the Principia Discordia where they explain how to do the turkey curse?"

"Yes?" Fnord said wondering what in the hell the turkey curse had anything to do with anything.

"Well I have an idea." He said and filled everyone in on it.

The Volgon ship was coming in strong, despite or because of the fact that it was made from duct tape. They all could feel the doom in the air.

"I hope this works." Zaphod said. He didn't trust the misty person in front of him.

"It will," Malcalypse the Elder said and grinned as only that Erisian could. "Now, on the count of three. One. Two. Three."

They stood in a circle and once he did three they started waving their hands in the air as if they were live snakes, their feet rooted to the ground level with their shoulders and then Malcalypse started the chant. "Gobble, gobble, gobble."

As they dissolved into giggles so did the Volgon ship. Their faces red and their sides hurting they automatically felt better. As Arthur got up he looked around for Malcalypse but he had disappeared. "Where's Maly?" He finally asked and Fnord shrugged.

Finally the lights in the cabin came back to full power and the music shut off. Finally Eddie started speaking, "Tea anyone?"