Hello everyone! I'm not goig to be doing a monolouge today because my feet hurt! Also I want to get out of the box before Uriko comes back. She's gonna... (Water glass shakes) The water! Look at the water! RUUUUNNNNNN!!!!!!!!! Curse my love of practical jokes! (Runs away as Uriko comes in dragging the Liberty Bell behind her)
Uriko: Maverick! I'm gonna get you! Tie me to the Liberty Bell will you!
-Link's House
(We arrive at Link's house where the Link's are still extreamely high. Link W has become so high that he believes he is a humming bird, while Link T has become si high that he believes he is Russel Crowe)
Link W: Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....... (Is flapping his arms really fast and accidentally falls out of the tree house) I'm okay!
Link T: (Talking to Epona) You wanna fight ya Norwiegen! I'm snap ya like a twig!
(Meanwhile Navi still is under the impression she is the green fairy. Correct, drugs have made Navi see the light!)
Navi: (Exsorcist ish) I'm the grrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnn fairy. (Head spins around)
Link T: EH! You fairies wanna take me? I'll blast your skinny hides to hell!
Navi: (Is spinning around) WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
Maverick: It's def con four men! She's gone from Navi annoying to Omochao annoying! Release the hounds!!!! (Hounds are released) They should be there about a freckle past a hair!
Link T: Oh, I'll get you pansy! (Draws sword but it is not there) What the? Oh right! I sold it to Deku!
Link W: Did I miss anything?
Navi: We wo, we wo, we wo! I'm a fairy!
Link W: AHHH! Spawn of the giant f*cking bird!!!!! Eat whatever this sword's made of!!!!! (Draws Master Sword and slices threw Navi, spliting her in twain)
Link T: (Suddenly snaps out of high) Woah! Link, you sliced Navi!
Link W: (Also goes out of high) I didn't mean to.
Link T: No! I'm just stoked someone actually did it! (As the Link's celebrate, Navi suddenly reforms, as if there was some sort of regeneration machine around)
Navi: Oh, my head... (Sees the Link's with hats and streamers that say "Navi is Dead!") What the hell are you guys doing?
Links: O.o (Slice banners) Nothing.
LInk T: I don't understand. I saw her get split in twain!
(EH! Don't make fun of how I talk you Mother Funfer!)
Link T: Sorry.
Link W: Well, it's obvious that... (Slices Navi again but the same thing happens)
Navi: Do, you realize how much that stings?
Link W: What a strange phenomenon. This requires expert study and hours of observation! (Stabs Link with the sword and pulls it out)
Link T: Why the hell did you do that?
Navi: Link look! (Link's wound suddenly heals)
Link W: Somthings not right.
Link T: Read the owner's manual! Call technical support!
Link W: It didn't come with an owner's manual.
Link T: It did when I got it.
Navu: Link, you never returned that manual.
Link T: But I love reading it!
Navi: That's bull! You just like looking at the pictures!
Link T: Can you blame me!
Link W: Wow, I didn't know it could make omelet's with it! How'd you get this?
Link T: Well, I did have the sword last.
Link W: Wait, if you had the sword last then you must be that creepy hero of time dude.
Navi: (Sarcastically) No, what gave you that idea.
Link W: Wow! Hey, does this thing really have Princess Zelda's number on it?
Link T: See for yourself! (Indeed , the phone number of Zelda is engraved on the mystic blade) And if you look on the flip side you'll see Saria's and Malon's number.
Link W: Why is this fourth number engraved on it all scetchilly?
Link T: Oh, that was Ruto! See forcibly carved it there that one night when.... Uh that's not important!
Link W: Well, what's the manual say about the sword not working?
Link T: It says to find a moblin and stab him!
Navi: No Link, that's the instructions on how to use the sword.
Link W: It should work the same! (As if on que... uh I said as if on que!!!!!)
Moblin: Yeah, yeah! What are you my mother? (As I was sayng, as if on que a random moblin walks by)
Mobin: Makin' movies, makin' songs, and tryin' to kill Link! What a glorious day, to spend away, tryin to kill Link! (Starts whistleing)
Link T: YOU! Frolicking Moblin! Take this sword and stab yourself with it!
Moblin: I'm not stabbing myself with that sword! I don't know where it's been!
Link T: Do it, before I kick you in the nuts!
Moblin: !!!! Fair enough. (Stabs himself) I died doing what I loved! (Disapears in CGI smoke)
Link T: Well it works, but I never saw a Moblin do that! Which is a shame because it kicks ass!
(Maverick Union Local 282 endorses CGI smoke!)
Link W: Wait! Look! I found it in the owner's manual!
Navi: Great, the little stoner's found something!
Link W: Look, it says, Master Sword can be used for good or evil! Please only use for good! Warning! When used for evil Master Sword may hurt owner!
Link T: Eh?
Link W: Apparently the sword only works when killing Moblins!
Link T: Bitchin! (Slices Link into tiny pieces which promtly regenerate)
Link W: Wow, Navi was right! That does sting!
Link T: Oh my Gawd! Navi was right! (Yells to Kokiri) EVERYONE! RUN! IT'S THE APOCOLYPSE!!!!! HEAD FOR THE HILLS!!!! (All the Kokiri run away) Heh, heh! Dumb asses! Well that was fun! Anyway, you guys realize what this means!
Navi: We can instantly vanquish evil people without worrying about harming the innocent!
Link W: We're gonna make omelets!
Link T: No, and maybe later! It means we can go around annoying the heck outta people! Come on! Off to Hyrule!!!
Link W: Why we goin' there?
Link T: I got a couple hunches about people I think are evil! AKA the Happy Mask Man!
Link W: Uh, okay. By the way is that place still black and white?
-Ganon's Tower
(The three are still sitting around thinking as dust begins to collect on their bodies)
Ganondorf: Hey! Old man! If you're so smart you think of the plan! I've already thought up enough evil schemes this millenia! Beside you have more experiance.
Ganon: Fine! I'll think up the plan, but first you gotta do something for me!
Ganondorf: Fine, what?
Ganon: Two words. Ambiance.
Ganondorf: That's one word.
Ganon: Whatever! The point is, this place sucks astetically! We need to redecorate!
Ganondorf: I really doubt that we'll be able to kill Link and take over Hyrule faster if we redecorate.
Ganon: WE'LL BE ABLE TO THINK BETTER IF WE REDECORATE!
Ganondorf: Okay, okay! We'll redecorate! But hurry it up!
-Four Hours Later
(After four hours of manual labor the lair now look exactly like (Drumroll) the Cheers bar!)
Ganon: FINALL!Y! We can sing the Cheers song! (Starts humming the Buffy theme. Yes, I finally took the time to learn the Cheers song, but I feel like torturing people today!)
Ganondorf: Okay we did your friggin redecorating! Now will you formualte a plan! Also, that was the Simpson's theme!
Ganon & Helmaroc King: O.o
Ganon: Okay, okay! Keep your fakackta cape on!
Ganondorf: Since when do I say fakackta?
Ganon: Since when do I say fakackta?
Helmaroc King: BWAKK?
Ganon: I'm not sure.
Ganondorf: I believe it is some varietah of meecrob.
Ganon: Oh, meecrob! How I loath thee!
Ganondorf: Okay! Whatever! Do you have a plan?
Ganon: Tch! Duh! What do I look like, Bowser?
And now an editorial reply from Bowser
Bowser: That was uncalled for! (Runs off crying)
Uhhhhhhhh.
Ganon: Alright! I'll need a squad of your finest, drunkest, most criminally insane moblins!
Ganondorf: Uhhhh....
Ganon: Well, what are ya waitin' for pig boy? Get yo minions.
Ganondorf: (To Helmaroc King) You wanna tell him or should I?
Ganon: What?
Ganondorf: Well, because "somebody" let me out early I couldn't finish my moblin armies. All I finished was bird boy here.
Ganon: O.O You're, you're jokin' right?
Ganondorf: ..........
Helmaroc King: ...........
Ganon: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! MAVERICK 1812 MUST DIE!!!!!!
Maverick: . . What are you lookin' at me for?
-Hyrule Market
(A flock of Cuccu's are grazing happily in the fields)
SLICE!!!!!
Link T: (Using Master Sword and slicing Cuccus and watching them reform) Cuccu's clean! (Slice) Cuccu's clean! (Slice) Cuccu's clean! (Slice)
Cuccu: BWAK!!! NO! Weak! Lame! (Melts)
Link T: I found an evil one!
Link W: Cool! Let's try it out on some villagers, er a possible baddies!
Navi: Which one?
Link: =)
-A Random Field Somewhere
Tingle: (Is hovering on a balloon) I am Bee! I drink tea! Won't you dance around with me! (Balloon is suddenly shot down by a fire arrow) Oh my! AHHHH! (Falls to ground)
Link W: Hello Tingle.
Tingle: OH! Hello fairy man! And uh... fairy man's friend! What brings you... (Is suddenly stabbed through the gut by Link)
Link W: Charge me two-thousand rupees will ya, ya little bugger!
Link T: Alright! We killed tingle, who was evil!
Tingle: (Wakes up) Well fancy that! I'm alive! What's up with that? Good day to you mister homicidal fairy! (Walks away)
Link W: Darn it! He wasn't evil!
Link T: And now we have to get out sword back from his gay person!
-Happy Mask Shop
Happy Mask Man: I am creepy, oh so creepy! (Links walk in) Oh hello green people!
Links: =)
Happy Mask Man: What are you doing? What's that sword for? Where's my money?
Link W: Die kin of evil! (Slices HMM In a triforce shape, carving him into little triangles)
Link T: Nice!
Happy Mask Man: (Reforms) Hello!
Link W: Wha?
Link T: Mask Man? Your not evil?
Happy Mask Man: Afraid not, and, again I shall say, that really stings! You win a present! (Hands them masks) Goodbye! (Disappears in a puff of smoke)
Link W: Wow! Free masks! He sure was nice for a crazy guy!
Link T: (Sees the masks are about to be exploded blast masks) Oh hell bells. (You know what happens)
-Later
Link W: For a non-evil dude, that guy sure does suck!
Navi: Yeah!
Link T: At least you guys didn't have to spend a revolving three days with him! Hey look! (Points to marathon man approaching) If we can't use this sword to weed out possible evils, we'll use it for our own sick little pleasures!
Navi: I'm overwhelmed by the stupidity.
Link T: Okay, we'll hide behind the wall and when he comes this way, we slice his head and legs off! Break!
Marathon Man: Doomy, doomy, doomy, doomy doom!
Link W: Sushi-ashi!
Marathon Man: O.O For cryin' out loud! (Is chopped into pieces by link and suddenly explodes in CGI smoke)
Links: O.o
Link T: Woah! The Marathon Man was evil!
Link W: Yeah and we killed him! (The two begin to dance around)
Marathon Man: FOOLISH YOUTH! (Turns into a demon) You have not vanquished me Heroes of Time and Wind! You think you have won, you think all is well, but kiss my black ass, I'll see you in HELL!!! (Disappears)
Everyone in a twelve mile radius: O.o
Link W: I gotta tell you friend, you live in one f*cked up world.
-Ganon's Tower
Ganon: (In fetal position) Ganon's a good boy! Nothin' bad is gonna happen! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! We're gonna die! We are going to die! Without minions, Link will come kick our asses!
Ganondorf: Get a hold of yourself man! (Slaps Ganon) We're gonna be okay!
Ganon: Easy for you to say! You only had to deal with the little bugger once! I watched my best friend's head explode because of him!
Helmaroc King: Bwak!?
Ganondorf: Relax dude! We can't worry about the loss of our pigs now! We have to plan for the future, and for that we have to not be going crazy! (Smacks him more)
Ganon: (Breaths) Okay. I'm alright. (Is smacked again) Why'd you do that?
Ganondorf: I don't know. It's that damn author's twisted sense of humor! After we rule Hyrule, we shall begin our war on... Maverick!!!
Helmaroc King: BWAK!!!
Ganon: You know what, we're not sure.
Ganondorf: Okay, now let's think, where could we get loyal minions from?
Ganon: (Thinking, that's a new one) I got it! We'll get ants!
Ganondorf: Ants?
Ganon: Yeah! Ants are super powerful! Even the Hero of Time couldn't stand up to an army of ants!
Ganondorf: The years of solitude have driven you insane, eh old man?
Ganon: Maybe, but I just got an even better idea! You're the former leader of the Gerudo, right?
Ganondorf: Well, yeah but...
Ganon: SOOO! All we have to do is get them to help us!
Ganondorf: I don't know future me. It has been seven years, and I did sort of piss them all off by pledging allegiance to Hyrule.
Ganon: No time to listen to you! Must go find way to win back army! (Runs out the door with Ganondorf but then comes back in) Watch the place okay Helmaroc King?
Helmaroc King: Bwak! . . (Picks up phone) Bwak! (A bunch of Kagorocs storm in and begin to partah!)
-Outside
Ganondorf: Are you sure this is a good idea?
Ganon: Of course! We're like their massiah! They'll have to obey us!
-Gerudo Fortress
(The two are now strapped to poles being carried by the Gerudo Pirates)
Ganondorf: They'll have to obey us, eh?
Ganon: Shut up pole boy!
Ganondorf: Hey you're on a pole too!
Ganon: I said shut up pole boy!!! (The two are stuck in front of a crowd of gerudo pirates)
Gerudo At Podium: Cassedores!!!!
Ganondorf: Dude, couldn't you use your magic laser vision to set us free?
Ganon: Can't.
Ganondorf: Why not?
Ganon: Paralyzed with lechery.
Ganondorf: (Annoyed) Oh hell, has it really been that long since you got any action? (Realizing what that means) Oh HELL has it really been that long since I got any action?!?!?
Gerudo At Podium: Okay everybody, let's begin this week's orientation process! Anyone have any new buisiness?
Gerudo#1:Uh... I do! (Is promptly shot with an arrow by the gerudo at the podium)
GaP: Anyone else?
Gerudo#2: (Raises hand and is also shot)
GaP: Okay we have some important news! Our old leader, Ganondorf has come back, with what appears to be a chubby clone, and we are going to burn them!
All: YAY!!!!
Ganondorf: Aren't you gonna yell or some junk?
Ganon: What did I just say?
GaP: Okay, and now to introduce your lord and my, all hail president Tetra!!! (Suddenly a large curtain lifts behind the Gerudo to reveal Zelda, Tetra, and Malon all sitting on large cushy throne)
Tetra: My fellow, uh... (To Zelda) Who are these guys again?
Zelda: The Gerudo.
Tetra: The Gerudo!? Oh... Fantastic!! Okay, my fellow fish monsters! We are closer than ever to our goal of getting the triforce!!!
All:???
Tetra: You'll all be rich.
All: YEAH!!!
Tetra: However today we are here to... uh? What are we here for today?
Malon: (Looking at schedule) The execution of Ganondorf and chubby friend!
Tetra & Zelda: O.o!
Tetra: Uh... (Breaks glass and takes out air horn) Party time! Everyone leave! (All the Gerudo go off to party)
Malon: (Running off) Party!!! (Is grabbed by Tetra)
Tetra: Not you! We need to go see the Ganondorks.
Ganondorf: Okay you guys! Get us down from heya!
Tetra: Oh how the mighty are fallen.
Malon: Who are these guys?
Zelda: Well the skinny one is that evil Link helped vanquish, I don't know who the other three guys are.
Ganondorf: Hey, I thought I cursed you and your family? (Looks to Ganon) Why aren't you doing your job?!
Ganon: I told you, they meddled me!
Tetra: So, you also got affected by the magic lightning, eh big G?
Ganon: What magic lightning? We were sucked into a time warp, you idiot!
Tetra: Sir, you forget yourself! Shut up!
Ganon: So what are you guys doing here?
Tetra: Oh, just succeeding wherever you failed! We have gained control of the Gerudo and the Hylians, we got cooler looking costumes, and we're going to get the triforce!
Ganon: What?
Tetra: Yeesh, are you really that oblivious? We got sent back in time to before past you disrupted the golden triangle cabob! Soooo, I'm going to gather said sacred stones and claim the triforce for me! (Malon and Zelda look at her angrilly) And you guys. Heh, heh.
Ganon: (Sean Connery ish) Truely, Princess Zelda, you are evil!
Tetra: No, you're evil, I'm just power hungry.
Ganon: Oh yeah! Well, you are dense, if that's any consillation!
Zelda: (Is looking at fat Ganon) So, you actually get that fat?
Ganondorf: That seems to be the question of the day.
Zelda: Okay, more important question, how the hell did you break out of the sacred realm? That seal we put on was garenteed to last at most a hundred years!
Tetra: O.o You knew that thing would only hold him one hundred years, and you didn't do anything about it?
Zelda: Well, yeah but the ever last one would have, you know, cost six more dollars.
Tetra: So you put six dollars ahead of the fate of a prosperous bead loving people?
Zelda: Well... yes.
Ganon: Good work lassy next you can make the world a better place by killing the marathon man! I hear he's involved in some shady doins!
Zelda: Is he always this fat and arrogant?
Tetra: Lazy too.
Ganon: Hey!
Ganondorf: So why, and more importantly how did you become Gerudo Warlords?
Tetra: Well, we needed many more pirates for the whole triforce thing!
Ganondorf: Well, that was obvious, but how did you get to be their leader?
Tetra: oh, that was the easy part! I just told them that if I got the triforce, then it would mean constant partying and free food! Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go see if the Gerudo have retrieved the elemental stones.
Zelda: We imagine that after that you'll be promptly burned at the stake, so bye forever. (The three leave)
Ganon: Well, we're screwed. Nice knowin' Ganon # 2.
Ganondorf: I already picked the ropes locks. We're free.
Ganon: Are we Ganondorf, are we?
Ganondorf: Yeah, we're already out of the compound, we broke out while you were mumbling.
-Gerudo Fortress
Gerudo #3: Mine Fuhrer, we have captured the hippies!
Tetra: Hippies?
Malon: The sages.
Tetra: Oh! The hippies! Right! Bring them out!
(A group of Gerudo carry out a large bag)
Zelda: What are these guy's fascination with capturing people?
(They open the bag revealing Medli, Makar, and Deku Link in a tie-dye tunic)
Deku Link: Oh what? I wear a new tunic one day, and I get captured? What's democracy coming to?
Makar: Medli? Where are we? We're in a place I don't know where we are!
Medli: Well, I could've phrased that better, but you're right.
Gerudo #4: These are the weirdest creatures we found.
Medli: Hey, from our angle, you ain't quite normal yourself!
Deku Link: Tell it girl friend!
Medli: Shut up!
Deku Link: Yes ma'am.
Tetra: You got the wrong one's! Water and Forest, not Wind, Earth, and uh...
Deku Link: They won't let me in their club.
Malon: Keep fighting man!
Tetra: Right, anyway, they don't have the stones.
Gerudo's: Awwwwwwww.
Gerudo #4: Uh sorry.
Deku Link: Brute. (Kicks Gerudo)
Medli: (Takes out flowers and holds up peace sign)
Gerudo #4: Oh! The peace sign. Well I don't... (The flowers turn out to be shurikens which are promptly thrown into the Gwerudo's head, killing her)
Zelda: More friends of yours?
Tetra: Sages, wind and earth.
Zelda: We don't have wind and earth sages. We only need six.
Tetra: Yeah now you don't, but you wait five years.
Zelda: Well, what are they doing here?
Tetra: Beats me. You're the smart one remember? I only thought the magic lightning hit Link, Ganon, and me.
(Suddenly, Ruto and Saria bust in the front gates)
Saria: Alright, give us the forest sprites and nobody gets... (Sees the legions of assasians) Oh, did we bust into the wrong place.
Tetra: Capture the guys who barged in, and throw the other three over the fence!
-Three Seconds From Now
Medli: (Is thrown over the fence but lands safely some how) Hey, I'm alive!
Deku Link: (Is being crushed by Medli) Good for you.
Makar: (Is being crushed by both) The pain! My spine!
Medli: Oh, I have never been so insulted in my life! Come on guys, we're going back in there!!!
Makar: Why?
Deku Link: Yeah, we're alright. Screw them.
Medli: It's not about that! I have been kidnapped more than once in my life, but I have never been released willfully! No one releases Medli without envocing her wrath! Of the wrath they shall feel! (Takes out harp with some how transforms into a gun) Eat Qualta Harp Losers!
Deku Link: Bad pun Medli!
Medli: (Points gun to him) You want some of this?!
Deku Link: No.
Makar: Hey look! Somebody's coming!
(As the little forest thingy said, Link T and Link W are walking through the wasteland, for no good reason)
Link T: I can't believe we vanquished an entire army of moblins by blinding their leader.
Link W: Yeah, good A.I. is really hard to find. (Sees Makar and Deku Link all frightened like) Hey Makar!
Link T: Hey DL!
Deku and Makar: DOPPELGANGER!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!
Links: What's their problem?
Navi: Mabye's it's because there are two of you, ya stupid sods!
Links: Ohh!
Navi: Relax Deku, no doppelganger.
Link T: Who's the wood boy?
Link W: Makar, wind sage. Your's?
Link T: Deku Link, freeloader. Bird Girl?
Link W: Oh she's... (Sees that Medli is in a dazed state) Medli? Medli! Medli!! What's up?
Makar: I don't know? One minute, she's talkin' about storming the castle for releasing her, the next she's conked out! Just as you guys arrived.
Link T: Oh no!
Navi: It's happening again.
Makar: What?
Navi: For some reason or another, Link has some amazing power as the Hero of Time to...
Link W: Save the world from Brittany Spears?
Navi: NO! He has the power to seduce any girl and in many disturbing ways some men.
Link T: Uh, Navi. Let's try to put that out of our mind as much as we can.
Makar: (Slaping Medli) Snap out of it girl!!! You're already taken!
Medli: What? I was having the most wonderful dream about me and...
Makar: Yeah, yeah! We'll listen to your dream later! We still got a problem.
Link W: What?
Deku Link: The Gerudo captured Ruto and Saria and are gonna use their magic stones to open the sacred realm and steal the triforce!
Links: !!!!
Link T: Wait wasn't the triforce already stolen?
Deku Link: Oh yeah. Well they still have Saria and Ruto, which could be trouble.
Link T: Oh no! We have to go save Saria, oh and uh Ruto I guess.
Link W: But how? How can we storm a fortress of beautiful ninja assasians?
Makar: (Thinking and light bulb suddenly lights up) Hey! I just thought of something!
Link W: What?
Makar: I need to change the light bulb! (Takes lightbulb and replaces it. While doing this he notices the still slightly dazed Medli) Hey! I thought of something else!
Link W: Is it relavent to the situation?
Makar: Yes. First, we need a montage.
(Que preparation montage)
(Dramatic music plays showing shots of Link W shadow fighting with his sword and shield and the sheathin his weapons. Fade out and in again to a shot of Makar playng his Cello and then swinging it about like a club. Fade out and in again on a shot of Deku Link putting on his hat. Fade out and fade in on a shot of Medli throwing a grappling hook and shooting with her evil harp. Fade out and fade in on a shot of Navi doing absolutly nothing)
Navi: Nothing to see here folks. Makar, are we done with this montage.
Makar: Okay. Now, we go in there, kill as many of those bitches as we can, grab the girls and get out! Link you go in first.
Link T: Okay, but why am I wearing face paint?
Makar: To block the sun from your eyes.
Link T: Okay, more important question, where is my shirt?
Makar: Uh, it was Medli's idea.
Medli: Uh, the brave heart look is in.
Link T: Well, okay, as long as it's in fashion.
Makar: Remember, just run in there screaming bloody murder, you know to scare um!
Link T: Okay, cover me! YAHHH! (Chrages in the fortress)
Makar: Okay now! (Link W and Deku Link close the gate)
Deku Link: Thank the Forest Giant for stupid people.
Medli: Amen.
Link T: YAHHHHHH!!!!! (The screaming is suddenly noticed by legions of beautiful ninja assasians)
Gerudo: (All become dazed with love)
Link T: Oh no. Not again. MAKAR! YOU DOUBLE CROSSER!!! (Runs away as fast as he can with the entire gerudo army chasing him)
Saria: (Tied to post with Ruto) Oh no! He's getting away!
Ruto: Must break free!!! (Summons of the strength of adult Link fangirlistis and beaks the ropes and chases after Link as well)
Saria: Hey! Wait for me! (Summons up same strength but is far too weak) Curse my skinny arms!
Tetra: Hey! Where are you going? What about the triforce? What about parties? What about freedom? What about my ten-million dollars! Well, at least we got each other, right guys? (Zelda and Malon are long gone) Darn. Well at leastI still got the Kokiri emerald!
Link W: (Walking up)Well, Tetra, looks like your insane experiment is over.
Tetra: Oh hey Link! We thought you were dead.
Link W: Well, you know... (Is suddenly spotted by a group of reality struck Gerudo)
Gerudo's: Hey there he is!
Link W: Shazbot! (Is suddenly chased as well!)
Saria: Deku Link! Makar! Get me down from heyah!
Deku Link: No way! We've got enough coked up people chasing Link as it is.
Tetra: Hey is anyone gonna help Link?
Makar: No, we weren't planning on it.
Tetra: (Groans) Fine. I'll chase down those murderous trolls myself. (Runs off to save Link)
Medli: Hey I think I'm gonna go help her.
Makar: (Grabs Medli) You already have a boyfriend!
Medli: I can have two! Why shouldn't I?
Makar: Oy! Women!
Deku Link: I heard that brother!
Medli: =
Saria: =
Deku Link: Oh sh...
-Ten Seconds Later
(Medli and Saria are chasing after the forest sprites carrying Harp-Guns and a Sling Shot)
-A Hill Over Looking the Desert
Ganon: Well, it looks like those Links have out done us again, eh old chap!
Ganondorf: Perhaps, but now we have the chance to seek vengeance on those hideous dirt monsters once and for all! Now, we must return to our lair, but first talk all spooky like!
Ganon: Oh okay! Soon,. We shall rule all of Hyrule and all lands west of the bowling alley...
Uriko: Well, that's about all the time we have today!
Shippo: Hey, what happened to the M man?
Uriko: Oh, he had an "accident".
-Niagra Falls
Maverick: (Is in a barrel going down the falls) I'LL GET YOU URIKO!!!!!
Uriko: So, bye everybody, and don't forget to rebel against authoritah!
Uriko: Maverick! I'm gonna get you! Tie me to the Liberty Bell will you!
-Link's House
(We arrive at Link's house where the Link's are still extreamely high. Link W has become so high that he believes he is a humming bird, while Link T has become si high that he believes he is Russel Crowe)
Link W: Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....... (Is flapping his arms really fast and accidentally falls out of the tree house) I'm okay!
Link T: (Talking to Epona) You wanna fight ya Norwiegen! I'm snap ya like a twig!
(Meanwhile Navi still is under the impression she is the green fairy. Correct, drugs have made Navi see the light!)
Navi: (Exsorcist ish) I'm the grrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnn fairy. (Head spins around)
Link T: EH! You fairies wanna take me? I'll blast your skinny hides to hell!
Navi: (Is spinning around) WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
Maverick: It's def con four men! She's gone from Navi annoying to Omochao annoying! Release the hounds!!!! (Hounds are released) They should be there about a freckle past a hair!
Link T: Oh, I'll get you pansy! (Draws sword but it is not there) What the? Oh right! I sold it to Deku!
Link W: Did I miss anything?
Navi: We wo, we wo, we wo! I'm a fairy!
Link W: AHHH! Spawn of the giant f*cking bird!!!!! Eat whatever this sword's made of!!!!! (Draws Master Sword and slices threw Navi, spliting her in twain)
Link T: (Suddenly snaps out of high) Woah! Link, you sliced Navi!
Link W: (Also goes out of high) I didn't mean to.
Link T: No! I'm just stoked someone actually did it! (As the Link's celebrate, Navi suddenly reforms, as if there was some sort of regeneration machine around)
Navi: Oh, my head... (Sees the Link's with hats and streamers that say "Navi is Dead!") What the hell are you guys doing?
Links: O.o (Slice banners) Nothing.
LInk T: I don't understand. I saw her get split in twain!
(EH! Don't make fun of how I talk you Mother Funfer!)
Link T: Sorry.
Link W: Well, it's obvious that... (Slices Navi again but the same thing happens)
Navi: Do, you realize how much that stings?
Link W: What a strange phenomenon. This requires expert study and hours of observation! (Stabs Link with the sword and pulls it out)
Link T: Why the hell did you do that?
Navi: Link look! (Link's wound suddenly heals)
Link W: Somthings not right.
Link T: Read the owner's manual! Call technical support!
Link W: It didn't come with an owner's manual.
Link T: It did when I got it.
Navu: Link, you never returned that manual.
Link T: But I love reading it!
Navi: That's bull! You just like looking at the pictures!
Link T: Can you blame me!
Link W: Wow, I didn't know it could make omelet's with it! How'd you get this?
Link T: Well, I did have the sword last.
Link W: Wait, if you had the sword last then you must be that creepy hero of time dude.
Navi: (Sarcastically) No, what gave you that idea.
Link W: Wow! Hey, does this thing really have Princess Zelda's number on it?
Link T: See for yourself! (Indeed , the phone number of Zelda is engraved on the mystic blade) And if you look on the flip side you'll see Saria's and Malon's number.
Link W: Why is this fourth number engraved on it all scetchilly?
Link T: Oh, that was Ruto! See forcibly carved it there that one night when.... Uh that's not important!
Link W: Well, what's the manual say about the sword not working?
Link T: It says to find a moblin and stab him!
Navi: No Link, that's the instructions on how to use the sword.
Link W: It should work the same! (As if on que... uh I said as if on que!!!!!)
Moblin: Yeah, yeah! What are you my mother? (As I was sayng, as if on que a random moblin walks by)
Mobin: Makin' movies, makin' songs, and tryin' to kill Link! What a glorious day, to spend away, tryin to kill Link! (Starts whistleing)
Link T: YOU! Frolicking Moblin! Take this sword and stab yourself with it!
Moblin: I'm not stabbing myself with that sword! I don't know where it's been!
Link T: Do it, before I kick you in the nuts!
Moblin: !!!! Fair enough. (Stabs himself) I died doing what I loved! (Disapears in CGI smoke)
Link T: Well it works, but I never saw a Moblin do that! Which is a shame because it kicks ass!
(Maverick Union Local 282 endorses CGI smoke!)
Link W: Wait! Look! I found it in the owner's manual!
Navi: Great, the little stoner's found something!
Link W: Look, it says, Master Sword can be used for good or evil! Please only use for good! Warning! When used for evil Master Sword may hurt owner!
Link T: Eh?
Link W: Apparently the sword only works when killing Moblins!
Link T: Bitchin! (Slices Link into tiny pieces which promtly regenerate)
Link W: Wow, Navi was right! That does sting!
Link T: Oh my Gawd! Navi was right! (Yells to Kokiri) EVERYONE! RUN! IT'S THE APOCOLYPSE!!!!! HEAD FOR THE HILLS!!!! (All the Kokiri run away) Heh, heh! Dumb asses! Well that was fun! Anyway, you guys realize what this means!
Navi: We can instantly vanquish evil people without worrying about harming the innocent!
Link W: We're gonna make omelets!
Link T: No, and maybe later! It means we can go around annoying the heck outta people! Come on! Off to Hyrule!!!
Link W: Why we goin' there?
Link T: I got a couple hunches about people I think are evil! AKA the Happy Mask Man!
Link W: Uh, okay. By the way is that place still black and white?
-Ganon's Tower
(The three are still sitting around thinking as dust begins to collect on their bodies)
Ganondorf: Hey! Old man! If you're so smart you think of the plan! I've already thought up enough evil schemes this millenia! Beside you have more experiance.
Ganon: Fine! I'll think up the plan, but first you gotta do something for me!
Ganondorf: Fine, what?
Ganon: Two words. Ambiance.
Ganondorf: That's one word.
Ganon: Whatever! The point is, this place sucks astetically! We need to redecorate!
Ganondorf: I really doubt that we'll be able to kill Link and take over Hyrule faster if we redecorate.
Ganon: WE'LL BE ABLE TO THINK BETTER IF WE REDECORATE!
Ganondorf: Okay, okay! We'll redecorate! But hurry it up!
-Four Hours Later
(After four hours of manual labor the lair now look exactly like (Drumroll) the Cheers bar!)
Ganon: FINALL!Y! We can sing the Cheers song! (Starts humming the Buffy theme. Yes, I finally took the time to learn the Cheers song, but I feel like torturing people today!)
Ganondorf: Okay we did your friggin redecorating! Now will you formualte a plan! Also, that was the Simpson's theme!
Ganon & Helmaroc King: O.o
Ganon: Okay, okay! Keep your fakackta cape on!
Ganondorf: Since when do I say fakackta?
Ganon: Since when do I say fakackta?
Helmaroc King: BWAKK?
Ganon: I'm not sure.
Ganondorf: I believe it is some varietah of meecrob.
Ganon: Oh, meecrob! How I loath thee!
Ganondorf: Okay! Whatever! Do you have a plan?
Ganon: Tch! Duh! What do I look like, Bowser?
And now an editorial reply from Bowser
Bowser: That was uncalled for! (Runs off crying)
Uhhhhhhhh.
Ganon: Alright! I'll need a squad of your finest, drunkest, most criminally insane moblins!
Ganondorf: Uhhhh....
Ganon: Well, what are ya waitin' for pig boy? Get yo minions.
Ganondorf: (To Helmaroc King) You wanna tell him or should I?
Ganon: What?
Ganondorf: Well, because "somebody" let me out early I couldn't finish my moblin armies. All I finished was bird boy here.
Ganon: O.O You're, you're jokin' right?
Ganondorf: ..........
Helmaroc King: ...........
Ganon: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! MAVERICK 1812 MUST DIE!!!!!!
Maverick: . . What are you lookin' at me for?
-Hyrule Market
(A flock of Cuccu's are grazing happily in the fields)
SLICE!!!!!
Link T: (Using Master Sword and slicing Cuccus and watching them reform) Cuccu's clean! (Slice) Cuccu's clean! (Slice) Cuccu's clean! (Slice)
Cuccu: BWAK!!! NO! Weak! Lame! (Melts)
Link T: I found an evil one!
Link W: Cool! Let's try it out on some villagers, er a possible baddies!
Navi: Which one?
Link: =)
-A Random Field Somewhere
Tingle: (Is hovering on a balloon) I am Bee! I drink tea! Won't you dance around with me! (Balloon is suddenly shot down by a fire arrow) Oh my! AHHHH! (Falls to ground)
Link W: Hello Tingle.
Tingle: OH! Hello fairy man! And uh... fairy man's friend! What brings you... (Is suddenly stabbed through the gut by Link)
Link W: Charge me two-thousand rupees will ya, ya little bugger!
Link T: Alright! We killed tingle, who was evil!
Tingle: (Wakes up) Well fancy that! I'm alive! What's up with that? Good day to you mister homicidal fairy! (Walks away)
Link W: Darn it! He wasn't evil!
Link T: And now we have to get out sword back from his gay person!
-Happy Mask Shop
Happy Mask Man: I am creepy, oh so creepy! (Links walk in) Oh hello green people!
Links: =)
Happy Mask Man: What are you doing? What's that sword for? Where's my money?
Link W: Die kin of evil! (Slices HMM In a triforce shape, carving him into little triangles)
Link T: Nice!
Happy Mask Man: (Reforms) Hello!
Link W: Wha?
Link T: Mask Man? Your not evil?
Happy Mask Man: Afraid not, and, again I shall say, that really stings! You win a present! (Hands them masks) Goodbye! (Disappears in a puff of smoke)
Link W: Wow! Free masks! He sure was nice for a crazy guy!
Link T: (Sees the masks are about to be exploded blast masks) Oh hell bells. (You know what happens)
-Later
Link W: For a non-evil dude, that guy sure does suck!
Navi: Yeah!
Link T: At least you guys didn't have to spend a revolving three days with him! Hey look! (Points to marathon man approaching) If we can't use this sword to weed out possible evils, we'll use it for our own sick little pleasures!
Navi: I'm overwhelmed by the stupidity.
Link T: Okay, we'll hide behind the wall and when he comes this way, we slice his head and legs off! Break!
Marathon Man: Doomy, doomy, doomy, doomy doom!
Link W: Sushi-ashi!
Marathon Man: O.O For cryin' out loud! (Is chopped into pieces by link and suddenly explodes in CGI smoke)
Links: O.o
Link T: Woah! The Marathon Man was evil!
Link W: Yeah and we killed him! (The two begin to dance around)
Marathon Man: FOOLISH YOUTH! (Turns into a demon) You have not vanquished me Heroes of Time and Wind! You think you have won, you think all is well, but kiss my black ass, I'll see you in HELL!!! (Disappears)
Everyone in a twelve mile radius: O.o
Link W: I gotta tell you friend, you live in one f*cked up world.
-Ganon's Tower
Ganon: (In fetal position) Ganon's a good boy! Nothin' bad is gonna happen! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! We're gonna die! We are going to die! Without minions, Link will come kick our asses!
Ganondorf: Get a hold of yourself man! (Slaps Ganon) We're gonna be okay!
Ganon: Easy for you to say! You only had to deal with the little bugger once! I watched my best friend's head explode because of him!
Helmaroc King: Bwak!?
Ganondorf: Relax dude! We can't worry about the loss of our pigs now! We have to plan for the future, and for that we have to not be going crazy! (Smacks him more)
Ganon: (Breaths) Okay. I'm alright. (Is smacked again) Why'd you do that?
Ganondorf: I don't know. It's that damn author's twisted sense of humor! After we rule Hyrule, we shall begin our war on... Maverick!!!
Helmaroc King: BWAK!!!
Ganon: You know what, we're not sure.
Ganondorf: Okay, now let's think, where could we get loyal minions from?
Ganon: (Thinking, that's a new one) I got it! We'll get ants!
Ganondorf: Ants?
Ganon: Yeah! Ants are super powerful! Even the Hero of Time couldn't stand up to an army of ants!
Ganondorf: The years of solitude have driven you insane, eh old man?
Ganon: Maybe, but I just got an even better idea! You're the former leader of the Gerudo, right?
Ganondorf: Well, yeah but...
Ganon: SOOO! All we have to do is get them to help us!
Ganondorf: I don't know future me. It has been seven years, and I did sort of piss them all off by pledging allegiance to Hyrule.
Ganon: No time to listen to you! Must go find way to win back army! (Runs out the door with Ganondorf but then comes back in) Watch the place okay Helmaroc King?
Helmaroc King: Bwak! . . (Picks up phone) Bwak! (A bunch of Kagorocs storm in and begin to partah!)
-Outside
Ganondorf: Are you sure this is a good idea?
Ganon: Of course! We're like their massiah! They'll have to obey us!
-Gerudo Fortress
(The two are now strapped to poles being carried by the Gerudo Pirates)
Ganondorf: They'll have to obey us, eh?
Ganon: Shut up pole boy!
Ganondorf: Hey you're on a pole too!
Ganon: I said shut up pole boy!!! (The two are stuck in front of a crowd of gerudo pirates)
Gerudo At Podium: Cassedores!!!!
Ganondorf: Dude, couldn't you use your magic laser vision to set us free?
Ganon: Can't.
Ganondorf: Why not?
Ganon: Paralyzed with lechery.
Ganondorf: (Annoyed) Oh hell, has it really been that long since you got any action? (Realizing what that means) Oh HELL has it really been that long since I got any action?!?!?
Gerudo At Podium: Okay everybody, let's begin this week's orientation process! Anyone have any new buisiness?
Gerudo#1:Uh... I do! (Is promptly shot with an arrow by the gerudo at the podium)
GaP: Anyone else?
Gerudo#2: (Raises hand and is also shot)
GaP: Okay we have some important news! Our old leader, Ganondorf has come back, with what appears to be a chubby clone, and we are going to burn them!
All: YAY!!!!
Ganondorf: Aren't you gonna yell or some junk?
Ganon: What did I just say?
GaP: Okay, and now to introduce your lord and my, all hail president Tetra!!! (Suddenly a large curtain lifts behind the Gerudo to reveal Zelda, Tetra, and Malon all sitting on large cushy throne)
Tetra: My fellow, uh... (To Zelda) Who are these guys again?
Zelda: The Gerudo.
Tetra: The Gerudo!? Oh... Fantastic!! Okay, my fellow fish monsters! We are closer than ever to our goal of getting the triforce!!!
All:???
Tetra: You'll all be rich.
All: YEAH!!!
Tetra: However today we are here to... uh? What are we here for today?
Malon: (Looking at schedule) The execution of Ganondorf and chubby friend!
Tetra & Zelda: O.o!
Tetra: Uh... (Breaks glass and takes out air horn) Party time! Everyone leave! (All the Gerudo go off to party)
Malon: (Running off) Party!!! (Is grabbed by Tetra)
Tetra: Not you! We need to go see the Ganondorks.
Ganondorf: Okay you guys! Get us down from heya!
Tetra: Oh how the mighty are fallen.
Malon: Who are these guys?
Zelda: Well the skinny one is that evil Link helped vanquish, I don't know who the other three guys are.
Ganondorf: Hey, I thought I cursed you and your family? (Looks to Ganon) Why aren't you doing your job?!
Ganon: I told you, they meddled me!
Tetra: So, you also got affected by the magic lightning, eh big G?
Ganon: What magic lightning? We were sucked into a time warp, you idiot!
Tetra: Sir, you forget yourself! Shut up!
Ganon: So what are you guys doing here?
Tetra: Oh, just succeeding wherever you failed! We have gained control of the Gerudo and the Hylians, we got cooler looking costumes, and we're going to get the triforce!
Ganon: What?
Tetra: Yeesh, are you really that oblivious? We got sent back in time to before past you disrupted the golden triangle cabob! Soooo, I'm going to gather said sacred stones and claim the triforce for me! (Malon and Zelda look at her angrilly) And you guys. Heh, heh.
Ganon: (Sean Connery ish) Truely, Princess Zelda, you are evil!
Tetra: No, you're evil, I'm just power hungry.
Ganon: Oh yeah! Well, you are dense, if that's any consillation!
Zelda: (Is looking at fat Ganon) So, you actually get that fat?
Ganondorf: That seems to be the question of the day.
Zelda: Okay, more important question, how the hell did you break out of the sacred realm? That seal we put on was garenteed to last at most a hundred years!
Tetra: O.o You knew that thing would only hold him one hundred years, and you didn't do anything about it?
Zelda: Well, yeah but the ever last one would have, you know, cost six more dollars.
Tetra: So you put six dollars ahead of the fate of a prosperous bead loving people?
Zelda: Well... yes.
Ganon: Good work lassy next you can make the world a better place by killing the marathon man! I hear he's involved in some shady doins!
Zelda: Is he always this fat and arrogant?
Tetra: Lazy too.
Ganon: Hey!
Ganondorf: So why, and more importantly how did you become Gerudo Warlords?
Tetra: Well, we needed many more pirates for the whole triforce thing!
Ganondorf: Well, that was obvious, but how did you get to be their leader?
Tetra: oh, that was the easy part! I just told them that if I got the triforce, then it would mean constant partying and free food! Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go see if the Gerudo have retrieved the elemental stones.
Zelda: We imagine that after that you'll be promptly burned at the stake, so bye forever. (The three leave)
Ganon: Well, we're screwed. Nice knowin' Ganon # 2.
Ganondorf: I already picked the ropes locks. We're free.
Ganon: Are we Ganondorf, are we?
Ganondorf: Yeah, we're already out of the compound, we broke out while you were mumbling.
-Gerudo Fortress
Gerudo #3: Mine Fuhrer, we have captured the hippies!
Tetra: Hippies?
Malon: The sages.
Tetra: Oh! The hippies! Right! Bring them out!
(A group of Gerudo carry out a large bag)
Zelda: What are these guy's fascination with capturing people?
(They open the bag revealing Medli, Makar, and Deku Link in a tie-dye tunic)
Deku Link: Oh what? I wear a new tunic one day, and I get captured? What's democracy coming to?
Makar: Medli? Where are we? We're in a place I don't know where we are!
Medli: Well, I could've phrased that better, but you're right.
Gerudo #4: These are the weirdest creatures we found.
Medli: Hey, from our angle, you ain't quite normal yourself!
Deku Link: Tell it girl friend!
Medli: Shut up!
Deku Link: Yes ma'am.
Tetra: You got the wrong one's! Water and Forest, not Wind, Earth, and uh...
Deku Link: They won't let me in their club.
Malon: Keep fighting man!
Tetra: Right, anyway, they don't have the stones.
Gerudo's: Awwwwwwww.
Gerudo #4: Uh sorry.
Deku Link: Brute. (Kicks Gerudo)
Medli: (Takes out flowers and holds up peace sign)
Gerudo #4: Oh! The peace sign. Well I don't... (The flowers turn out to be shurikens which are promptly thrown into the Gwerudo's head, killing her)
Zelda: More friends of yours?
Tetra: Sages, wind and earth.
Zelda: We don't have wind and earth sages. We only need six.
Tetra: Yeah now you don't, but you wait five years.
Zelda: Well, what are they doing here?
Tetra: Beats me. You're the smart one remember? I only thought the magic lightning hit Link, Ganon, and me.
(Suddenly, Ruto and Saria bust in the front gates)
Saria: Alright, give us the forest sprites and nobody gets... (Sees the legions of assasians) Oh, did we bust into the wrong place.
Tetra: Capture the guys who barged in, and throw the other three over the fence!
-Three Seconds From Now
Medli: (Is thrown over the fence but lands safely some how) Hey, I'm alive!
Deku Link: (Is being crushed by Medli) Good for you.
Makar: (Is being crushed by both) The pain! My spine!
Medli: Oh, I have never been so insulted in my life! Come on guys, we're going back in there!!!
Makar: Why?
Deku Link: Yeah, we're alright. Screw them.
Medli: It's not about that! I have been kidnapped more than once in my life, but I have never been released willfully! No one releases Medli without envocing her wrath! Of the wrath they shall feel! (Takes out harp with some how transforms into a gun) Eat Qualta Harp Losers!
Deku Link: Bad pun Medli!
Medli: (Points gun to him) You want some of this?!
Deku Link: No.
Makar: Hey look! Somebody's coming!
(As the little forest thingy said, Link T and Link W are walking through the wasteland, for no good reason)
Link T: I can't believe we vanquished an entire army of moblins by blinding their leader.
Link W: Yeah, good A.I. is really hard to find. (Sees Makar and Deku Link all frightened like) Hey Makar!
Link T: Hey DL!
Deku and Makar: DOPPELGANGER!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!
Links: What's their problem?
Navi: Mabye's it's because there are two of you, ya stupid sods!
Links: Ohh!
Navi: Relax Deku, no doppelganger.
Link T: Who's the wood boy?
Link W: Makar, wind sage. Your's?
Link T: Deku Link, freeloader. Bird Girl?
Link W: Oh she's... (Sees that Medli is in a dazed state) Medli? Medli! Medli!! What's up?
Makar: I don't know? One minute, she's talkin' about storming the castle for releasing her, the next she's conked out! Just as you guys arrived.
Link T: Oh no!
Navi: It's happening again.
Makar: What?
Navi: For some reason or another, Link has some amazing power as the Hero of Time to...
Link W: Save the world from Brittany Spears?
Navi: NO! He has the power to seduce any girl and in many disturbing ways some men.
Link T: Uh, Navi. Let's try to put that out of our mind as much as we can.
Makar: (Slaping Medli) Snap out of it girl!!! You're already taken!
Medli: What? I was having the most wonderful dream about me and...
Makar: Yeah, yeah! We'll listen to your dream later! We still got a problem.
Link W: What?
Deku Link: The Gerudo captured Ruto and Saria and are gonna use their magic stones to open the sacred realm and steal the triforce!
Links: !!!!
Link T: Wait wasn't the triforce already stolen?
Deku Link: Oh yeah. Well they still have Saria and Ruto, which could be trouble.
Link T: Oh no! We have to go save Saria, oh and uh Ruto I guess.
Link W: But how? How can we storm a fortress of beautiful ninja assasians?
Makar: (Thinking and light bulb suddenly lights up) Hey! I just thought of something!
Link W: What?
Makar: I need to change the light bulb! (Takes lightbulb and replaces it. While doing this he notices the still slightly dazed Medli) Hey! I thought of something else!
Link W: Is it relavent to the situation?
Makar: Yes. First, we need a montage.
(Que preparation montage)
(Dramatic music plays showing shots of Link W shadow fighting with his sword and shield and the sheathin his weapons. Fade out and in again to a shot of Makar playng his Cello and then swinging it about like a club. Fade out and in again on a shot of Deku Link putting on his hat. Fade out and fade in on a shot of Medli throwing a grappling hook and shooting with her evil harp. Fade out and fade in on a shot of Navi doing absolutly nothing)
Navi: Nothing to see here folks. Makar, are we done with this montage.
Makar: Okay. Now, we go in there, kill as many of those bitches as we can, grab the girls and get out! Link you go in first.
Link T: Okay, but why am I wearing face paint?
Makar: To block the sun from your eyes.
Link T: Okay, more important question, where is my shirt?
Makar: Uh, it was Medli's idea.
Medli: Uh, the brave heart look is in.
Link T: Well, okay, as long as it's in fashion.
Makar: Remember, just run in there screaming bloody murder, you know to scare um!
Link T: Okay, cover me! YAHHH! (Chrages in the fortress)
Makar: Okay now! (Link W and Deku Link close the gate)
Deku Link: Thank the Forest Giant for stupid people.
Medli: Amen.
Link T: YAHHHHHH!!!!! (The screaming is suddenly noticed by legions of beautiful ninja assasians)
Gerudo: (All become dazed with love)
Link T: Oh no. Not again. MAKAR! YOU DOUBLE CROSSER!!! (Runs away as fast as he can with the entire gerudo army chasing him)
Saria: (Tied to post with Ruto) Oh no! He's getting away!
Ruto: Must break free!!! (Summons of the strength of adult Link fangirlistis and beaks the ropes and chases after Link as well)
Saria: Hey! Wait for me! (Summons up same strength but is far too weak) Curse my skinny arms!
Tetra: Hey! Where are you going? What about the triforce? What about parties? What about freedom? What about my ten-million dollars! Well, at least we got each other, right guys? (Zelda and Malon are long gone) Darn. Well at leastI still got the Kokiri emerald!
Link W: (Walking up)Well, Tetra, looks like your insane experiment is over.
Tetra: Oh hey Link! We thought you were dead.
Link W: Well, you know... (Is suddenly spotted by a group of reality struck Gerudo)
Gerudo's: Hey there he is!
Link W: Shazbot! (Is suddenly chased as well!)
Saria: Deku Link! Makar! Get me down from heyah!
Deku Link: No way! We've got enough coked up people chasing Link as it is.
Tetra: Hey is anyone gonna help Link?
Makar: No, we weren't planning on it.
Tetra: (Groans) Fine. I'll chase down those murderous trolls myself. (Runs off to save Link)
Medli: Hey I think I'm gonna go help her.
Makar: (Grabs Medli) You already have a boyfriend!
Medli: I can have two! Why shouldn't I?
Makar: Oy! Women!
Deku Link: I heard that brother!
Medli: =
Saria: =
Deku Link: Oh sh...
-Ten Seconds Later
(Medli and Saria are chasing after the forest sprites carrying Harp-Guns and a Sling Shot)
-A Hill Over Looking the Desert
Ganon: Well, it looks like those Links have out done us again, eh old chap!
Ganondorf: Perhaps, but now we have the chance to seek vengeance on those hideous dirt monsters once and for all! Now, we must return to our lair, but first talk all spooky like!
Ganon: Oh okay! Soon,. We shall rule all of Hyrule and all lands west of the bowling alley...
Uriko: Well, that's about all the time we have today!
Shippo: Hey, what happened to the M man?
Uriko: Oh, he had an "accident".
-Niagra Falls
Maverick: (Is in a barrel going down the falls) I'LL GET YOU URIKO!!!!!
Uriko: So, bye everybody, and don't forget to rebel against authoritah!
