The Lost Ones-4
Space.
The Naboo Angel floated in space, hidden behind one of Kessel's moons. The desolate world had once belonged to the Empire. Many criminals and political prisoners had been sent there to work in the glitterstem mines. Glitterstim was a narcotic drug mainly used for therepeutic purposes, but often misused as well. In the months since Endor, Kessel had been taken over by a former prison guard named Moruth Doole and it was doubtful that he would be pleased to receive Jedi Knights from the New Republic.
The Angel had only come out of hyperspace a few hours earlier and it had been the time for their sleep cycle. Anakin had taken the Angel to a sheltered location away from any sensors that might alert Doole to their presence, and Luke and his father had retired to get some rest before landing on Kessel. Anakin was still sleeping soundly, but Luke slipped quietly through the lounge to the cockpit.
He was grateful they had the ship to themselves again. The day after leaving Nar Shaddaa with the group of young orphans they had rescued, Luke and Anakin had met up with a New Republic convoy and the children had been sent on ahead to an orphanage on Coruscant. As they were parting ways, Gil had turned to Luke and said seriously, "Now, be careful with your lightsaber."
"I will," Luke had swiftly assured him. "We'll see you again when our mission is over."
When the children had gone, Anakin had given Luke a puzzled look. "What did he mean by that?"
"Oh, I suppose it's just that they were watching me train with a remote earlier and I warned them that lightsabers could be dangerous," Luke had replied. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either. Fortunately, Anakin had not picked up on it, or if he had, he had decided not to press the issue. The truth was that Gil had noticed the faint lines around the opening panel of Luke's artificial right hand. Luke couldn't believe how observant the boy was. The lines were so faint that even Luke, who knew exactly where the panel was, had to look closely to see them. Trust the sharp eyes of a child to notice everything! He'd breathed a prayer of thanks that Anakin was in the cockpit, safely out of hearing range.
The children had been inquisitive, and since no one had ever taught them to be tactful, full of questions. Luke had known immediately that it was not the time or place for a discussion about his father's history, though if Gil were ever to become their padawan he would have to hear the story eventually. Instead the young Jedi had told them that he'd lost his hand in a lightsaber "accident" some time ago.
"Did it hurt?" Gil had asked.
"At the time it did, and for a while afterwards, but it's fine now," Luke had answered.
"What does it feel like?" another boy had wanted to know.
"It feels like a real hand."
Gil had leaned closer to examine Luke's hand. "How did you do it? Were you playing with a lightsaber when you weren't supposed to?"
"You could say that," Luke had replied after a moment's silence.
Gil had looked at him sympathetically. "Was your father mad at you?"
An odd expression had crossed Luke's face. "You could say that," he'd repeated.
"But he shouldn't have been!" a girl had burst out. "You were already hurt."
Luke had looked at the hall leading to the cockpit. He'd wanted to wrap up this conversation before Anakin came in. "Well, he's very sorry now. Look, we don't really talk about it much anymore, so let's not mention my hand again, okay?"
"Okay," they'd all agreed, and they hadn't.
Perhaps he was overreacting, but Luke worried about his father. Anakin was still so devestated about the things he'd done as Darth Vader, especially to his family. Luke didn't want him to suffer any more pain. Anakin needed to concentrate on the present and the future. The past was over.
Once he was in the cockpit, Luke sat in a chair and stared unseeingly at the stars in the black sky. The past was over, but tonight it had come back to haunt him. For the first time in months, he'd awakened from a nightmare about Bespin. //Why now? It's ridiculous to be upset about it now.// Luke scolded himself, being very careful to keep his thoughts tightly shielded. He did not want any trace of his own hurt emotions to reach out through the Force and disturb his father. //It was painful. It was humiliating. It was horrible. But it's been nearly a year ago, and everything's been resolved happily. Why did I have another nightmare? I'm over it. I am. Aren't I?//
Luke sighed and searched his feelings carefully. For months now he'd believed that he was no longer traumatized by the events of Bespin. Why should he be? Han was safely back. He'd accepted the truth about his father and managed to save him from the dark side. He didn't even think about his hand much anymore.
He wasn't angry with Anakin. Luke was certain of that. There was no hint of resentment or bitterness in his feelings for his father. He loved Anakin with all his heart. He just didn't understand. Luke knew his father had been out of his mind with grief for his beloved wife, and filled with anger and despair over the damage the old Republic and the Clone Wars had done to the galaxy. Luke could understand the reasons why Anakin had turned initially, but he still couldn't understand how his father had become so corrupted that he could have willingly, knowingly hurt his own son in such a terrible way.
//I'm still hurt by it.// Luke realized with sudden insight. //I'm not angry. I love Father, and I'm so glad he's here, and I would never want to do anything to hurt him. Yet, there is a part of me, deep down, that's still hurt by him.// He ran a hand through his hair. //Well, now that I've had this brilliant moment of epiphany, what next? Because I certainly can never talk to Father about it. Every time he's apologized to us for what happened at Cloud City, he's broken down in tears. If he ever suspected that I was not completely at peace about it, he'd probably be suicidal.//
Luke shook his head, as if to clear his mind of all troubling thoughts, and mentally ran through a Jedi calming exercise. //All right, I'm making way too much of this. I only had this nightmare because we jumped off that roof on Nar Shaddaa, and then I talked about my hand with the children. It's just triggered something in my subconscious, I guess. But I don't dwell on Bespin or feel upset about it anymore. I'm sure I'll be fine. I just need some sleep is all. Thank the Force I didn't wake Father.//
He headed back to bed, but it was a long time before he slept.
Hours later Anakin sat at the controls guiding the Naboo Angel towards Kessel. Luke sat beside him staring out the window. The boy had been rather quiet and, as Anakin caught him yawning for the third time in a half hour, he had to ask, "Didn't you sleep well, son?"
Luke hesitated. "Not really. I kept waking up."
Anakin looked concerned. "Is something bothering you?"
"No. I'm fine." Anakin frowned slightly. Had Luke answered just a little too quickly?
But before he could press Luke about it, his son gave him a bright smile and indicated the rocky, elliptical planet before them. "Tell me about Kessel. You said it was dangerous."
Anakin pursed his lips. " 'Unpleasant' might be a better way to describe it, though I'm not really sure what kind of welcome to expect from Moruth Doole. It's very cold, not like Hoth, though. There's no snow, not enough atmosphere to produce moisture and clouds." He pointed at hazy, light- colored wisps trailing the planet. "You see how it almost looks like a comet with a tail? That's because Kessel's own atmosphere is too thin to support life down on the surface. Because glitterstim is so valuable, people built huge air-producing factories, but the atmosphere is still so thin some of it just trails along behind Kessel as the planet orbits. We'll have to put on breath masks once we land." He grimaced. The idea of wearing any type of mask again was repugnant to him now, but it couldn't be helped. At least these oxygen masks were small and simple-clear patches that fit over the nose and mouth. Much better than what he'd worn in the past.
"Do you think we'll have any trouble with Doole?" Luke asked.
"I'm not sure. I doubt he'll welcome us with open arms. He's had a good deal going here since seizing control of the place and I bet he wasn't pleased when the New Republic ordered him to release all the slaves."
"I wonder if he has freed them yet," Luke commented. "Han said he probably wouldn't until the New Republic came and forced him to , but Leia told him she was sending a task force to ensure his cooperation. You'd think he'd go ahead and accept the inevitable before blood is shed."
"Men like Doole are smart in some ways, but not in others," Anakin told him.
"I thought he was a Rybet," Luke interrupted.
Anakin waved his hand. "You know what I mean. Anyway, he knows it takes time to assemble a task force and he'll keep the slaves as long as he can to make sure he's getting every last credit of profit out of them." He gritted his teeth. People like Doole were absolute scum and Anakin wanted desperately to see the slaves freed from his control. But he and Luke were hunting for information, not liberating slaves.
Sensing his father's turmoil, Luke laid a comforting hand on his arm. "They'll be free soon, Father. The New Republic is coming."
"I know," Anakin sighed. "It's just that freeing slaves has been a lifelong dream of mine."
Their communicator crackled to life. "Unidentified ship, state your name and business."
"This is the Naboo Angel. We are Anakin and Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knights of the New Republic. We request permission to land and a meeting with President Moruth Doole," Luke answered briskly.
There was a long pause. Luke could just imagine flustered officials hurriedly conferrring with one another, trying to decide what to do about their unexpected visitors. Finally, the voice said, "Permission to land granted. Your request for a meeting with President Doole is being relayed now. A squadron of our troops will meet you at docking bay 51 and escort you to the presidential palace."
Anakin spoke into the communicator. "Thank you, but I have been to Kessel several times before. I know the location of the palace. No escort will be necessary."
"Necessary? Why, Master Jedi, it will be an honor," the voice smoothly insisted before abruply clicking off.
Father and son looked at one another. "Doesn't that sound welcoming?" Luke remarked in a dry voice.
"Hmmm." Anakin didn't like the sound of this at all. Were they about to walk into an ambush? He couldn't bear the thought of Luke being in danger. "I don't suppose you would consider staying on board the Angel?"
Luke shook his head. "Nope."
"Well, then, stay close to me and be very careful," Anakin cautioned, and then nearly fell out of his chair when Luke, who was always so good-natured and mild-mannered, frowned and said with an edge in his voice, "I am a fully-trained Jedi now, Father. I can take care of myself."
The instant the words were out of his mouth, Luke was aghast at himself. What had gotten into him to speak in such a proud, haughty way? Whether he and Anakin were speaking as father and son, or Jedi to Jedi, his words were completely inappropiate. Immediately he said. "I'm sorry, Father. I shouldn't have spoken like that. Forgive me."
Anakin hardly knew what to think. He supposed he could be too overprotective at times. Leia had certainly let him know that he was cramping her style on several occasions. But Luke usually didn't seem to mind. If anything, he seemed to enjoy it. Anakin couldn't understand why he had reacted so sharply this time. But now Luke was looking at him with such a stricken expression that he reached over to give the boy a hug.
"It's all right, Luke. And you don't ever have to apologize to me." Luke shook his head and answered, his voice slightly muffled against Anakin's shoulder. "When I'm wrong, I do."
Well, maybe I was being a little patronizing," Anakin sat back and placed his hands on Luke's shoulders. He smiled, "But I am your father. Worrying about your safety-and your sister's-is part of my job."
Luke nodded. "I know, Father. But you don't have to worry so much about us. And I do know to be careful." "That's all I'm asking for." Anakin turned his attention back to his piloting and they headed for Kessel, unsure of what would be waiting for them there.
Space.
The Naboo Angel floated in space, hidden behind one of Kessel's moons. The desolate world had once belonged to the Empire. Many criminals and political prisoners had been sent there to work in the glitterstem mines. Glitterstim was a narcotic drug mainly used for therepeutic purposes, but often misused as well. In the months since Endor, Kessel had been taken over by a former prison guard named Moruth Doole and it was doubtful that he would be pleased to receive Jedi Knights from the New Republic.
The Angel had only come out of hyperspace a few hours earlier and it had been the time for their sleep cycle. Anakin had taken the Angel to a sheltered location away from any sensors that might alert Doole to their presence, and Luke and his father had retired to get some rest before landing on Kessel. Anakin was still sleeping soundly, but Luke slipped quietly through the lounge to the cockpit.
He was grateful they had the ship to themselves again. The day after leaving Nar Shaddaa with the group of young orphans they had rescued, Luke and Anakin had met up with a New Republic convoy and the children had been sent on ahead to an orphanage on Coruscant. As they were parting ways, Gil had turned to Luke and said seriously, "Now, be careful with your lightsaber."
"I will," Luke had swiftly assured him. "We'll see you again when our mission is over."
When the children had gone, Anakin had given Luke a puzzled look. "What did he mean by that?"
"Oh, I suppose it's just that they were watching me train with a remote earlier and I warned them that lightsabers could be dangerous," Luke had replied. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either. Fortunately, Anakin had not picked up on it, or if he had, he had decided not to press the issue. The truth was that Gil had noticed the faint lines around the opening panel of Luke's artificial right hand. Luke couldn't believe how observant the boy was. The lines were so faint that even Luke, who knew exactly where the panel was, had to look closely to see them. Trust the sharp eyes of a child to notice everything! He'd breathed a prayer of thanks that Anakin was in the cockpit, safely out of hearing range.
The children had been inquisitive, and since no one had ever taught them to be tactful, full of questions. Luke had known immediately that it was not the time or place for a discussion about his father's history, though if Gil were ever to become their padawan he would have to hear the story eventually. Instead the young Jedi had told them that he'd lost his hand in a lightsaber "accident" some time ago.
"Did it hurt?" Gil had asked.
"At the time it did, and for a while afterwards, but it's fine now," Luke had answered.
"What does it feel like?" another boy had wanted to know.
"It feels like a real hand."
Gil had leaned closer to examine Luke's hand. "How did you do it? Were you playing with a lightsaber when you weren't supposed to?"
"You could say that," Luke had replied after a moment's silence.
Gil had looked at him sympathetically. "Was your father mad at you?"
An odd expression had crossed Luke's face. "You could say that," he'd repeated.
"But he shouldn't have been!" a girl had burst out. "You were already hurt."
Luke had looked at the hall leading to the cockpit. He'd wanted to wrap up this conversation before Anakin came in. "Well, he's very sorry now. Look, we don't really talk about it much anymore, so let's not mention my hand again, okay?"
"Okay," they'd all agreed, and they hadn't.
Perhaps he was overreacting, but Luke worried about his father. Anakin was still so devestated about the things he'd done as Darth Vader, especially to his family. Luke didn't want him to suffer any more pain. Anakin needed to concentrate on the present and the future. The past was over.
Once he was in the cockpit, Luke sat in a chair and stared unseeingly at the stars in the black sky. The past was over, but tonight it had come back to haunt him. For the first time in months, he'd awakened from a nightmare about Bespin. //Why now? It's ridiculous to be upset about it now.// Luke scolded himself, being very careful to keep his thoughts tightly shielded. He did not want any trace of his own hurt emotions to reach out through the Force and disturb his father. //It was painful. It was humiliating. It was horrible. But it's been nearly a year ago, and everything's been resolved happily. Why did I have another nightmare? I'm over it. I am. Aren't I?//
Luke sighed and searched his feelings carefully. For months now he'd believed that he was no longer traumatized by the events of Bespin. Why should he be? Han was safely back. He'd accepted the truth about his father and managed to save him from the dark side. He didn't even think about his hand much anymore.
He wasn't angry with Anakin. Luke was certain of that. There was no hint of resentment or bitterness in his feelings for his father. He loved Anakin with all his heart. He just didn't understand. Luke knew his father had been out of his mind with grief for his beloved wife, and filled with anger and despair over the damage the old Republic and the Clone Wars had done to the galaxy. Luke could understand the reasons why Anakin had turned initially, but he still couldn't understand how his father had become so corrupted that he could have willingly, knowingly hurt his own son in such a terrible way.
//I'm still hurt by it.// Luke realized with sudden insight. //I'm not angry. I love Father, and I'm so glad he's here, and I would never want to do anything to hurt him. Yet, there is a part of me, deep down, that's still hurt by him.// He ran a hand through his hair. //Well, now that I've had this brilliant moment of epiphany, what next? Because I certainly can never talk to Father about it. Every time he's apologized to us for what happened at Cloud City, he's broken down in tears. If he ever suspected that I was not completely at peace about it, he'd probably be suicidal.//
Luke shook his head, as if to clear his mind of all troubling thoughts, and mentally ran through a Jedi calming exercise. //All right, I'm making way too much of this. I only had this nightmare because we jumped off that roof on Nar Shaddaa, and then I talked about my hand with the children. It's just triggered something in my subconscious, I guess. But I don't dwell on Bespin or feel upset about it anymore. I'm sure I'll be fine. I just need some sleep is all. Thank the Force I didn't wake Father.//
He headed back to bed, but it was a long time before he slept.
Hours later Anakin sat at the controls guiding the Naboo Angel towards Kessel. Luke sat beside him staring out the window. The boy had been rather quiet and, as Anakin caught him yawning for the third time in a half hour, he had to ask, "Didn't you sleep well, son?"
Luke hesitated. "Not really. I kept waking up."
Anakin looked concerned. "Is something bothering you?"
"No. I'm fine." Anakin frowned slightly. Had Luke answered just a little too quickly?
But before he could press Luke about it, his son gave him a bright smile and indicated the rocky, elliptical planet before them. "Tell me about Kessel. You said it was dangerous."
Anakin pursed his lips. " 'Unpleasant' might be a better way to describe it, though I'm not really sure what kind of welcome to expect from Moruth Doole. It's very cold, not like Hoth, though. There's no snow, not enough atmosphere to produce moisture and clouds." He pointed at hazy, light- colored wisps trailing the planet. "You see how it almost looks like a comet with a tail? That's because Kessel's own atmosphere is too thin to support life down on the surface. Because glitterstim is so valuable, people built huge air-producing factories, but the atmosphere is still so thin some of it just trails along behind Kessel as the planet orbits. We'll have to put on breath masks once we land." He grimaced. The idea of wearing any type of mask again was repugnant to him now, but it couldn't be helped. At least these oxygen masks were small and simple-clear patches that fit over the nose and mouth. Much better than what he'd worn in the past.
"Do you think we'll have any trouble with Doole?" Luke asked.
"I'm not sure. I doubt he'll welcome us with open arms. He's had a good deal going here since seizing control of the place and I bet he wasn't pleased when the New Republic ordered him to release all the slaves."
"I wonder if he has freed them yet," Luke commented. "Han said he probably wouldn't until the New Republic came and forced him to , but Leia told him she was sending a task force to ensure his cooperation. You'd think he'd go ahead and accept the inevitable before blood is shed."
"Men like Doole are smart in some ways, but not in others," Anakin told him.
"I thought he was a Rybet," Luke interrupted.
Anakin waved his hand. "You know what I mean. Anyway, he knows it takes time to assemble a task force and he'll keep the slaves as long as he can to make sure he's getting every last credit of profit out of them." He gritted his teeth. People like Doole were absolute scum and Anakin wanted desperately to see the slaves freed from his control. But he and Luke were hunting for information, not liberating slaves.
Sensing his father's turmoil, Luke laid a comforting hand on his arm. "They'll be free soon, Father. The New Republic is coming."
"I know," Anakin sighed. "It's just that freeing slaves has been a lifelong dream of mine."
Their communicator crackled to life. "Unidentified ship, state your name and business."
"This is the Naboo Angel. We are Anakin and Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knights of the New Republic. We request permission to land and a meeting with President Moruth Doole," Luke answered briskly.
There was a long pause. Luke could just imagine flustered officials hurriedly conferrring with one another, trying to decide what to do about their unexpected visitors. Finally, the voice said, "Permission to land granted. Your request for a meeting with President Doole is being relayed now. A squadron of our troops will meet you at docking bay 51 and escort you to the presidential palace."
Anakin spoke into the communicator. "Thank you, but I have been to Kessel several times before. I know the location of the palace. No escort will be necessary."
"Necessary? Why, Master Jedi, it will be an honor," the voice smoothly insisted before abruply clicking off.
Father and son looked at one another. "Doesn't that sound welcoming?" Luke remarked in a dry voice.
"Hmmm." Anakin didn't like the sound of this at all. Were they about to walk into an ambush? He couldn't bear the thought of Luke being in danger. "I don't suppose you would consider staying on board the Angel?"
Luke shook his head. "Nope."
"Well, then, stay close to me and be very careful," Anakin cautioned, and then nearly fell out of his chair when Luke, who was always so good-natured and mild-mannered, frowned and said with an edge in his voice, "I am a fully-trained Jedi now, Father. I can take care of myself."
The instant the words were out of his mouth, Luke was aghast at himself. What had gotten into him to speak in such a proud, haughty way? Whether he and Anakin were speaking as father and son, or Jedi to Jedi, his words were completely inappropiate. Immediately he said. "I'm sorry, Father. I shouldn't have spoken like that. Forgive me."
Anakin hardly knew what to think. He supposed he could be too overprotective at times. Leia had certainly let him know that he was cramping her style on several occasions. But Luke usually didn't seem to mind. If anything, he seemed to enjoy it. Anakin couldn't understand why he had reacted so sharply this time. But now Luke was looking at him with such a stricken expression that he reached over to give the boy a hug.
"It's all right, Luke. And you don't ever have to apologize to me." Luke shook his head and answered, his voice slightly muffled against Anakin's shoulder. "When I'm wrong, I do."
Well, maybe I was being a little patronizing," Anakin sat back and placed his hands on Luke's shoulders. He smiled, "But I am your father. Worrying about your safety-and your sister's-is part of my job."
Luke nodded. "I know, Father. But you don't have to worry so much about us. And I do know to be careful." "That's all I'm asking for." Anakin turned his attention back to his piloting and they headed for Kessel, unsure of what would be waiting for them there.
