Chapter 4
Since I had cooked dinner earlier that week, Sam and Josh had to do the dishes while I supervised Matty and Drew clearing the table. You had to really watch those two. They were just as likely to get into a food fight as get the dishes into the kitchen. Amazingly enough not one dish was broken and only a mostly empty bowl was spilled. By the time I got to the living room, Eva was in her pajamas and playing with dad. My mom had a pretty good system going in our house. I knew exactly where she was - in the kitchen helping Matty and Drew with some schoolwork and making sure that Sam did his share of the washing up. Only after everything was done would she allow us to turn on the television.
Daddy smiled up at me when I walked into the room, Eva hanging by one foot giggling hysterically. "Hey Gracie, want a turn?" he asked, a grin on his face.
I laughed, shaking my head. "I don't think so, thanks."
"You used to love doing this," he said, setting Eva down and finding her doggie that she had dropped. "Too old, huh?" he asked, still smiling at me.
"Too big," I retorted, though I couldn't hid my grin. I loved my dad. He always had time for us kids, no matter what. And we always knew that we came first - before his job or his writing. About the only thing that would keep him from playing with us whenever we asked was if Daisy needed milking. And even then he'd usually make us come down and help out. That usually turned into a game, too, with more milk ending up on the floor than in the bucket. Daisy wasn't really there to be a milking cow, anyways. Whatever milk we managed to get into the bucket was given to the barn cats, or to Millie our sow. Dad gave Daisy to mom for a 10-year anniversary gift. I never really understood the significance of giving your wife a cow, but my mom thought it was the best gift she'd ever received. Strange, I know, but it makes me smile.
He sized me up as he sat down in his favorite chair. "You'll always be my baby girl, Gracie," he winked.
"Daddy!" I rolled my eyes and acted embarrassed, but inside I was pleased.
He just laughed at me. "So, are you ready? Don't you need paper or something to take notes?" Leaning back into his chair, an ankle resting on his knee, he assumed what I secretly called his professor position.
"Oh, yeah," I said, trying not to blush. I forgot that I had to make this look real. Quickly I went to the hall and opened up my knapsack, pulling out some paper and a pen. Sitting down on the sofa, Eva playing on the floor between us, I looked over at him expectantly. "Now I'm ready."
He raised a quizzical eyebrow. "It's your paper...you're going to have to ask the questions...you can't expect me to do all the work for you." He winked at me again. He was definitely in a playful mood. Eva had softened him up for me. I felt bad because I knew that my questions were going to make him uncomfortable, but if he was this relaxed him might inadvertently reveal more.
"Oh, yeah.... Okay." I gathered my wits about me, took a deep breath and dove in. There was no going back now. I had seen the pictures and I was more than 90% sure that what the old woman at Tildy's had said was true, but I needed proof. Once I started asking questions I would find more pieces of the puzzle. I knew that Danny would want all the facts that I could get. It would make it easier for him, and it might help us understand why. "I guess I'll be focusing on the war years...I've never asked about them before.... so.... when did you an Uncle Rafe enlist in the Army?"
"July 1936. I was 20."
That surprised me, for some reason I thought they enlisted right after high school. "Why then?"
"We stayed on the farm to help Rafe's dad," he said simply. "It was too soon after Beth had died and we didn't want to leave him alone. By 1936...well...we were more than ready."
I nodded, jotting down the date on my paper. That made sense. "And you were stationed on Long Island, right?" He nodded. "Okay, so when did you meet Aunt Evelyn?" I asked, moving on to the important questions.
"Don't you already know this?" he asked.
"Well, I know some," I told him honestly. "At least I think I do...I just want to make sure I get it right. We've never really talked about it."
He sighed. "We met Evelyn in December of 1940. She was one of the nurses giving flight physicals. Rafe flunked the eye exam, but she passed him anyways." Okay, this I did know. It was the specifics of what came after that I was curious about.
"And then you were all transferred to Pearl Harbor?" I asked, trying not to sound too eager.
"Evelyn and I were. Separately, though," he told me. "Remember, she was Navy, not Army. My squadron arrived in March, a few weeks after she did, I think. Rafe had left for the Eagle Squadron in January."
"Did you see much of Aunt Evelyn before you were transferred? Did Uncle Rafe?" I had always assumed that Aunt Evelyn and Uncle Rafe had dated, but I don't know how that was possible if he left so soon after meeting her. My mind was definitely working overtime, because if Daddy was Danny's father...then that changed all the assumptions that I had made over the years.
"I only saw her once.... we went into New York the night before Rafe shipped out." Only once...now that was interesting. I marked it down on my paper.
"What about Uncle Rafe? Did he see her or did they start dating later, after he got back from England?" I knew I had to be thorough. When I went to Danny I didn't want to have any doubts or loopholes. Besides, I couldn't help being curious.
For a moment he frowned at me. "I think they exchanged letters."
"How about when you were at Pearl?" I continued.
Daddy picked up one of Eva's toys and began to play with it absently. "Well, you should probably ask them.... it's not really any of my business."
I shook my head. "I meant, did you see much of Aunt Evelyn," I clarified. "I know they wrote to each other while he was in England. I saw the box of letters that she has." That's why I had assumed that they had dated before Uncle Rafe left.
"You did?" Daddy asked.
"Yeah, once a long time ago. I didn't read them, or anything. Aunt Evelyn was just moving them." I shrugged. "So, did you see much of her?"
"Well, sure. I saw her." He shifted in his seat, no longer the calm, all knowing professor, I noted.
"Often?" I pressed. I knew this conversation was making him uncomfortable, and I was sorry for that, but I had to know.
"Often enough, I guess," he said. "We were friends with the same people...a couple of her friends were dating some of mine..." he shrugged. "I saw her a couple times a month, maybe more."
"Were you dating anyone?" I asked boldly.
"What?" He wasn't expecting that one.
"I was just wondering if you were dating anyone while you were at Pearl...."
He looked at me for a moment, then his eyes shifted away from me and he ran his hand through his hair - all mannerisms that I recognized from Danny. He was trying to figure out how to tell me something, but still not tell me everything. I was both excited and scared. This might be what I was looking for. "No, I wasn't really...dating...anyone. We all just kind of went out together as a group. That was good enough for me."
"Okay...." I paused, tapping my pen against my teeth in thought. Well, it wasn't like he'd come out and admit that he dated Aunt Evelyn, but he was definitely uncomfortable with the topic. "When was Uncle Rafe shot down?"
Now he leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he watched Eva play. "I got the telegram from his dad in late July."
"How'd you feel?" I couldn't help myself from asking, even though it didn't have anything to do with my information collecting. His eyes looked...incredibly sad.
He looked up at me then, staring straight into my eyes. "Imagine that Danny decided to.... go on a trip without you.... and you got a letter saying he was dead; that you could never say good bye..." His voice was thick with emotion, even after all these years
I swallowed, suddenly feeling tears stinging behind my eyes. "Oh."
Daddy looked away. "Only it was worse in some ways because I had to live with the guilt that maybe, just maybe, if I had been there...on his wing...he might still be alive...or at least he wouldn't have been alone...."
A thought suddenly struck me. "Why weren't you there?" I asked. I had never really thought about it before, but from their training days onwards they had always been stationed together. Why hadn't daddy gone to England with Uncle Rafe?
"Rafe volunteered," he told me, his voice deeper than usual. "Actually, he told me he had been assigned so that he could gain some combat experience...I didn't know he'd volunteered until...later...and then it was too late." He looked up at me again, his eyes sadder than I had ever seen them. "Honestly, I didn't think it was our war to fight, at least not then.... But I would have gone...if I had known he had volunteered."
Slowly I absorbed this new information. So Uncle Rafe had volunteered. I had always assumed he'd been assigned. Who would actually volunteer for combat duty? "Why didn't he tell you?" I asked softly. "I mean you were his best friend...."
Daddy smiled softly. "He was protecting me."
"Protecting you?" I didn't understand. Why would Uncle Rafe need to protect Daddy? He was a great pilot.
"Oh, he was always trying to protect me since we were kids.... 'cause he was older than me...and well, because of.... because I didn't have any family." I could tell, by the way he shifted his eyes that he wasn't telling me everything again, but I decided not to press it.
"How'd Aunt Evelyn find out about Uncle Rafe being shot down?" I asked, changing the topic slightly.
"I told her," he replied simply, leaning back into his chair again.
"You did?" I had never heard that little tidbit of information before. Actually, I realized, I had never heard most of this information before. I really only knew the basics. They met during flight physicals, they were stationed at Pearl Harbor, and Uncle Rafe was shot down in England but was there when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. I had been more interested in China and what had happened there - and why not? Weren't all kids interested in how their parents met? Aunt Evelyn and Uncle Rafe were just side notes to my own family history, until now.
"Yes, I was the one to tell her," Daddy repeated. "Rafe asked me to be the one...if something happened to him."
"Wow, that must have been hard," I said softly. "How did Aunt Evelyn take it?"
"How do you think?" he asked me, picking Eva up into his arms and snuggling her close. "She was devastated."
I wanted to ask him more about Aunt Evelyn, but I didn't think it was a good idea. I already knew that this wasn't easy for him to remember, and also I didn't want to make him suspicious by asking too many questions about her.
"I bet you were pretty happy to see Uncle Rafe when he showed up alive, huh?" I grinned, but he didn't smile back.
"Yeah, I was," he agreed, once again running his hand through his hair and shifting his eyes away from mine. "Things were pretty confusing...after he got back...what with the attack and the aftermath...but it was good having him on my wing again." Okay, I might have been trying to read more into his words than was there, but he didn't sound like he had been that excited to see Uncle Rafe again.
"Wait a minute," I paused, thinking over his words. "When did Uncle Rafe get back? You make it sound like he got back right before the attack..."
"He did," Daddy confirmed. "He showed up the night before." Eva was beginning to doze off in his arms and he leaned down to kiss her softly.
"Wow...you mean all those months you and Aunt Evelyn thought he was dead?" I asked, amazed. "Did he...couldn't he have...let you know...somehow...that he had survived?"
Daddy shook his head. "He was picked up and taken to occupied France. He couldn't get word out. You'll have to ask him the details of how he got back, I don't know them all."
"But four months...." I trailed off. "What did you do?" I asked.
He looked at me curiously. "What do you mean?"
"Well," I said thoughtfully, "I can't imagine what I would do if something...happened...to Danny." I swallowed, feeling the pricking of tears behind my eyes again. "How did you and Aunt Evelyn cope?"
"It wasn't easy," Daddy sighed. "I logged a lot of flight hours and ...Evelyn...worked a lot. We did what we had to do to get through each day." Once again I noticed the pained look on his face as he pressed his cheek against Eva's blond little head.
"At least you had each other," I said sympathetically.
His head snapped up abruptly, causing Eva to whimper softly before settling in again. His eyes locked onto mine. "What do you mean by that?" he asked guardedly.
"Nothing," I replied, taken aback by the intensity of his stare. "I just meant you were lucky to have someone to...mourn with. Someone who missed him as much as you did."
Obviously I had hit a nerve. I watched as he consciously relaxed his shoulders, a slight flush stealing across his cheeks. "Sorry," he apologized, his eyes once again looking anywhere but at me. "This isn't easy for me to talk about. I don't like remembering how I felt when...Rafe was...gone."
"I can imagine," I said softly, my stomach suddenly in knots. This is what I had been looking for. A reaction to make me think that he was hiding something about Aunt Evelyn. "But Aunt Evelyn must have helped you. You were friends then, right?" I pushed on, wanting to see what he would say. I was sorry to cause him more pain, but I was so close to getting what I wanted. I could feel it.
Daddy cleared his throat. "Actually, I didn't see much of Evelyn after the night I told her about Rafe. It was too...painful." My expectations plummeted at his softly spoken words. He didn't see her? That didn't fit into the timeline I had created. "At first," he added quietly, almost as an afterthought.
My heart skipped a beat. "At first?" I asked, trying to mask my growing excitement.
He ran a hand over his face. "Yes, at first. It was too painful to see her...she reminded me of Rafe and...it made me miss him more. But later, it was nice to have someone to talk to, to share memories with. It was the same for Ev, too, I think."
I nodded. "So, eventually...you guys...moved on."
He looked at me closely again and I tried to keep my face as blank as possible. "We learned to live with our grief," he acknowledged. "But I don't think either of us ever got over his death."
I decided that I would let off some of the pressure I was putting on him. Maybe I was reading too much into it, but I got the impression that there was more than the sharing of memories between Daddy and Aunt Evelyn - even if I hadn't already suspected it. Daddy was just too uncomfortable. He had always been straight-forward with us kids. He never held anything back or lied to us, but I had the distinct feeling that he was now. He lied about as well as Danny did, ironically, and I could always tell when Danny wasn't telling me everything.
"It must have been pretty amazing when he finally did show up," I offered. "Like seeing a ghost - but better. Did you first see him at your barracks...or did he come to the hangars?"
"Actually, he went to see Evelyn at the hospital first. That's where I saw him," he answered.
"Oh," was all I could think to say. What were you doing at the hospital, I wanted to ask, but couldn't. "So, where were you when the Japanese attacked?" I asked instead. "Were you awake? Is that why you were able to get up in the air?"
"Uh no. I was asleep. By the time we got to the airfield the runway and planes were destroyed. We managed to get to a smaller airstrip, a mechanic runway. That's where we took off from."
I looked at him curiously. "So, where were you then?"
"Uh, Rafe and I had fallen asleep in my car," he told me. Seeing my raised eyebrow, he continued. "We...uh...had a lot to talk about and...we fell sleep in my car...on a small promontory overlooking the harbor. Front row seats for the bombing, actually."
Interesting, I thought. Uncle Rafe comes back from the dead after four months, goes to see Aunt Evelyn at the hospital, but ends up falling asleep in a car after talking with his best friend. Normally, wouldn't a guy want to spend his first night home with his girl? Unless of course there was a problem...like maybe finding out that his best friend had taken his place....
I knew that I would have to think about everything some more. There were so many dates and little pieces of information floating around in my head. I really wanted to leave then...maybe ask some more questions later, but I didn't want to seem suspicious, so I began asking questions about the attack itself. It was amazing to hear about what had actually happened. Daddy had always been a good storyteller, and this was no different. I had read about it in school, of course, but those books were nothing compared to hearing it from someone who had actually been there.
Daddy in no way tried to glorify himself or Uncle Rafe, but I could tell how brave they had been. They were the only two pilots to get into the air. They had been shot at on the ground and in the air and they had watched their friends get shot at and die. When they ran out of ammo after shooting down seven planes, they landed and started helping the rescuers in the harbor. I knew my dad and Uncle Rafe were good, upstanding men, I just hadn't realized until that night that they were heroes too. Once again, it wasn't something we had ever talked about.
We spent another half hour talking about the aftermath and the Doolittle Raid. Mom came in at one point and took Eva to bed. It was an eye opening experience for me. My parents, and Uncle Rafe and Aunt Evelyn, had lived through...and fought in...a war. They had risked their lives and done heroic deeds, but to me they were normal, though their lives had been everything but. I couldn't even imagine going through what they did. So much had happened to them in such a short space of time...Daddy, Uncle Rafe and Aunt Evelyn had met...fallen in love, though I wasn't sure with who or when...been reassigned away from each other, been shot down, and presumed dead for months, only to came back in time for the Japanese to attack. They had not only survived, but also fought back and helped Pearl Harbor recover from that attack. Then daddy and Uncle Rafe had volunteered to go on the Doolittle Raid, a suicide mission, leaving Aunt Evelyn behind. And somewhere in that time...Danny, my Danny, had been conceived.
What a confusing time. This wasn't as simple as I had thought at first.
Since I had cooked dinner earlier that week, Sam and Josh had to do the dishes while I supervised Matty and Drew clearing the table. You had to really watch those two. They were just as likely to get into a food fight as get the dishes into the kitchen. Amazingly enough not one dish was broken and only a mostly empty bowl was spilled. By the time I got to the living room, Eva was in her pajamas and playing with dad. My mom had a pretty good system going in our house. I knew exactly where she was - in the kitchen helping Matty and Drew with some schoolwork and making sure that Sam did his share of the washing up. Only after everything was done would she allow us to turn on the television.
Daddy smiled up at me when I walked into the room, Eva hanging by one foot giggling hysterically. "Hey Gracie, want a turn?" he asked, a grin on his face.
I laughed, shaking my head. "I don't think so, thanks."
"You used to love doing this," he said, setting Eva down and finding her doggie that she had dropped. "Too old, huh?" he asked, still smiling at me.
"Too big," I retorted, though I couldn't hid my grin. I loved my dad. He always had time for us kids, no matter what. And we always knew that we came first - before his job or his writing. About the only thing that would keep him from playing with us whenever we asked was if Daisy needed milking. And even then he'd usually make us come down and help out. That usually turned into a game, too, with more milk ending up on the floor than in the bucket. Daisy wasn't really there to be a milking cow, anyways. Whatever milk we managed to get into the bucket was given to the barn cats, or to Millie our sow. Dad gave Daisy to mom for a 10-year anniversary gift. I never really understood the significance of giving your wife a cow, but my mom thought it was the best gift she'd ever received. Strange, I know, but it makes me smile.
He sized me up as he sat down in his favorite chair. "You'll always be my baby girl, Gracie," he winked.
"Daddy!" I rolled my eyes and acted embarrassed, but inside I was pleased.
He just laughed at me. "So, are you ready? Don't you need paper or something to take notes?" Leaning back into his chair, an ankle resting on his knee, he assumed what I secretly called his professor position.
"Oh, yeah," I said, trying not to blush. I forgot that I had to make this look real. Quickly I went to the hall and opened up my knapsack, pulling out some paper and a pen. Sitting down on the sofa, Eva playing on the floor between us, I looked over at him expectantly. "Now I'm ready."
He raised a quizzical eyebrow. "It's your paper...you're going to have to ask the questions...you can't expect me to do all the work for you." He winked at me again. He was definitely in a playful mood. Eva had softened him up for me. I felt bad because I knew that my questions were going to make him uncomfortable, but if he was this relaxed him might inadvertently reveal more.
"Oh, yeah.... Okay." I gathered my wits about me, took a deep breath and dove in. There was no going back now. I had seen the pictures and I was more than 90% sure that what the old woman at Tildy's had said was true, but I needed proof. Once I started asking questions I would find more pieces of the puzzle. I knew that Danny would want all the facts that I could get. It would make it easier for him, and it might help us understand why. "I guess I'll be focusing on the war years...I've never asked about them before.... so.... when did you an Uncle Rafe enlist in the Army?"
"July 1936. I was 20."
That surprised me, for some reason I thought they enlisted right after high school. "Why then?"
"We stayed on the farm to help Rafe's dad," he said simply. "It was too soon after Beth had died and we didn't want to leave him alone. By 1936...well...we were more than ready."
I nodded, jotting down the date on my paper. That made sense. "And you were stationed on Long Island, right?" He nodded. "Okay, so when did you meet Aunt Evelyn?" I asked, moving on to the important questions.
"Don't you already know this?" he asked.
"Well, I know some," I told him honestly. "At least I think I do...I just want to make sure I get it right. We've never really talked about it."
He sighed. "We met Evelyn in December of 1940. She was one of the nurses giving flight physicals. Rafe flunked the eye exam, but she passed him anyways." Okay, this I did know. It was the specifics of what came after that I was curious about.
"And then you were all transferred to Pearl Harbor?" I asked, trying not to sound too eager.
"Evelyn and I were. Separately, though," he told me. "Remember, she was Navy, not Army. My squadron arrived in March, a few weeks after she did, I think. Rafe had left for the Eagle Squadron in January."
"Did you see much of Aunt Evelyn before you were transferred? Did Uncle Rafe?" I had always assumed that Aunt Evelyn and Uncle Rafe had dated, but I don't know how that was possible if he left so soon after meeting her. My mind was definitely working overtime, because if Daddy was Danny's father...then that changed all the assumptions that I had made over the years.
"I only saw her once.... we went into New York the night before Rafe shipped out." Only once...now that was interesting. I marked it down on my paper.
"What about Uncle Rafe? Did he see her or did they start dating later, after he got back from England?" I knew I had to be thorough. When I went to Danny I didn't want to have any doubts or loopholes. Besides, I couldn't help being curious.
For a moment he frowned at me. "I think they exchanged letters."
"How about when you were at Pearl?" I continued.
Daddy picked up one of Eva's toys and began to play with it absently. "Well, you should probably ask them.... it's not really any of my business."
I shook my head. "I meant, did you see much of Aunt Evelyn," I clarified. "I know they wrote to each other while he was in England. I saw the box of letters that she has." That's why I had assumed that they had dated before Uncle Rafe left.
"You did?" Daddy asked.
"Yeah, once a long time ago. I didn't read them, or anything. Aunt Evelyn was just moving them." I shrugged. "So, did you see much of her?"
"Well, sure. I saw her." He shifted in his seat, no longer the calm, all knowing professor, I noted.
"Often?" I pressed. I knew this conversation was making him uncomfortable, and I was sorry for that, but I had to know.
"Often enough, I guess," he said. "We were friends with the same people...a couple of her friends were dating some of mine..." he shrugged. "I saw her a couple times a month, maybe more."
"Were you dating anyone?" I asked boldly.
"What?" He wasn't expecting that one.
"I was just wondering if you were dating anyone while you were at Pearl...."
He looked at me for a moment, then his eyes shifted away from me and he ran his hand through his hair - all mannerisms that I recognized from Danny. He was trying to figure out how to tell me something, but still not tell me everything. I was both excited and scared. This might be what I was looking for. "No, I wasn't really...dating...anyone. We all just kind of went out together as a group. That was good enough for me."
"Okay...." I paused, tapping my pen against my teeth in thought. Well, it wasn't like he'd come out and admit that he dated Aunt Evelyn, but he was definitely uncomfortable with the topic. "When was Uncle Rafe shot down?"
Now he leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he watched Eva play. "I got the telegram from his dad in late July."
"How'd you feel?" I couldn't help myself from asking, even though it didn't have anything to do with my information collecting. His eyes looked...incredibly sad.
He looked up at me then, staring straight into my eyes. "Imagine that Danny decided to.... go on a trip without you.... and you got a letter saying he was dead; that you could never say good bye..." His voice was thick with emotion, even after all these years
I swallowed, suddenly feeling tears stinging behind my eyes. "Oh."
Daddy looked away. "Only it was worse in some ways because I had to live with the guilt that maybe, just maybe, if I had been there...on his wing...he might still be alive...or at least he wouldn't have been alone...."
A thought suddenly struck me. "Why weren't you there?" I asked. I had never really thought about it before, but from their training days onwards they had always been stationed together. Why hadn't daddy gone to England with Uncle Rafe?
"Rafe volunteered," he told me, his voice deeper than usual. "Actually, he told me he had been assigned so that he could gain some combat experience...I didn't know he'd volunteered until...later...and then it was too late." He looked up at me again, his eyes sadder than I had ever seen them. "Honestly, I didn't think it was our war to fight, at least not then.... But I would have gone...if I had known he had volunteered."
Slowly I absorbed this new information. So Uncle Rafe had volunteered. I had always assumed he'd been assigned. Who would actually volunteer for combat duty? "Why didn't he tell you?" I asked softly. "I mean you were his best friend...."
Daddy smiled softly. "He was protecting me."
"Protecting you?" I didn't understand. Why would Uncle Rafe need to protect Daddy? He was a great pilot.
"Oh, he was always trying to protect me since we were kids.... 'cause he was older than me...and well, because of.... because I didn't have any family." I could tell, by the way he shifted his eyes that he wasn't telling me everything again, but I decided not to press it.
"How'd Aunt Evelyn find out about Uncle Rafe being shot down?" I asked, changing the topic slightly.
"I told her," he replied simply, leaning back into his chair again.
"You did?" I had never heard that little tidbit of information before. Actually, I realized, I had never heard most of this information before. I really only knew the basics. They met during flight physicals, they were stationed at Pearl Harbor, and Uncle Rafe was shot down in England but was there when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. I had been more interested in China and what had happened there - and why not? Weren't all kids interested in how their parents met? Aunt Evelyn and Uncle Rafe were just side notes to my own family history, until now.
"Yes, I was the one to tell her," Daddy repeated. "Rafe asked me to be the one...if something happened to him."
"Wow, that must have been hard," I said softly. "How did Aunt Evelyn take it?"
"How do you think?" he asked me, picking Eva up into his arms and snuggling her close. "She was devastated."
I wanted to ask him more about Aunt Evelyn, but I didn't think it was a good idea. I already knew that this wasn't easy for him to remember, and also I didn't want to make him suspicious by asking too many questions about her.
"I bet you were pretty happy to see Uncle Rafe when he showed up alive, huh?" I grinned, but he didn't smile back.
"Yeah, I was," he agreed, once again running his hand through his hair and shifting his eyes away from mine. "Things were pretty confusing...after he got back...what with the attack and the aftermath...but it was good having him on my wing again." Okay, I might have been trying to read more into his words than was there, but he didn't sound like he had been that excited to see Uncle Rafe again.
"Wait a minute," I paused, thinking over his words. "When did Uncle Rafe get back? You make it sound like he got back right before the attack..."
"He did," Daddy confirmed. "He showed up the night before." Eva was beginning to doze off in his arms and he leaned down to kiss her softly.
"Wow...you mean all those months you and Aunt Evelyn thought he was dead?" I asked, amazed. "Did he...couldn't he have...let you know...somehow...that he had survived?"
Daddy shook his head. "He was picked up and taken to occupied France. He couldn't get word out. You'll have to ask him the details of how he got back, I don't know them all."
"But four months...." I trailed off. "What did you do?" I asked.
He looked at me curiously. "What do you mean?"
"Well," I said thoughtfully, "I can't imagine what I would do if something...happened...to Danny." I swallowed, feeling the pricking of tears behind my eyes again. "How did you and Aunt Evelyn cope?"
"It wasn't easy," Daddy sighed. "I logged a lot of flight hours and ...Evelyn...worked a lot. We did what we had to do to get through each day." Once again I noticed the pained look on his face as he pressed his cheek against Eva's blond little head.
"At least you had each other," I said sympathetically.
His head snapped up abruptly, causing Eva to whimper softly before settling in again. His eyes locked onto mine. "What do you mean by that?" he asked guardedly.
"Nothing," I replied, taken aback by the intensity of his stare. "I just meant you were lucky to have someone to...mourn with. Someone who missed him as much as you did."
Obviously I had hit a nerve. I watched as he consciously relaxed his shoulders, a slight flush stealing across his cheeks. "Sorry," he apologized, his eyes once again looking anywhere but at me. "This isn't easy for me to talk about. I don't like remembering how I felt when...Rafe was...gone."
"I can imagine," I said softly, my stomach suddenly in knots. This is what I had been looking for. A reaction to make me think that he was hiding something about Aunt Evelyn. "But Aunt Evelyn must have helped you. You were friends then, right?" I pushed on, wanting to see what he would say. I was sorry to cause him more pain, but I was so close to getting what I wanted. I could feel it.
Daddy cleared his throat. "Actually, I didn't see much of Evelyn after the night I told her about Rafe. It was too...painful." My expectations plummeted at his softly spoken words. He didn't see her? That didn't fit into the timeline I had created. "At first," he added quietly, almost as an afterthought.
My heart skipped a beat. "At first?" I asked, trying to mask my growing excitement.
He ran a hand over his face. "Yes, at first. It was too painful to see her...she reminded me of Rafe and...it made me miss him more. But later, it was nice to have someone to talk to, to share memories with. It was the same for Ev, too, I think."
I nodded. "So, eventually...you guys...moved on."
He looked at me closely again and I tried to keep my face as blank as possible. "We learned to live with our grief," he acknowledged. "But I don't think either of us ever got over his death."
I decided that I would let off some of the pressure I was putting on him. Maybe I was reading too much into it, but I got the impression that there was more than the sharing of memories between Daddy and Aunt Evelyn - even if I hadn't already suspected it. Daddy was just too uncomfortable. He had always been straight-forward with us kids. He never held anything back or lied to us, but I had the distinct feeling that he was now. He lied about as well as Danny did, ironically, and I could always tell when Danny wasn't telling me everything.
"It must have been pretty amazing when he finally did show up," I offered. "Like seeing a ghost - but better. Did you first see him at your barracks...or did he come to the hangars?"
"Actually, he went to see Evelyn at the hospital first. That's where I saw him," he answered.
"Oh," was all I could think to say. What were you doing at the hospital, I wanted to ask, but couldn't. "So, where were you when the Japanese attacked?" I asked instead. "Were you awake? Is that why you were able to get up in the air?"
"Uh no. I was asleep. By the time we got to the airfield the runway and planes were destroyed. We managed to get to a smaller airstrip, a mechanic runway. That's where we took off from."
I looked at him curiously. "So, where were you then?"
"Uh, Rafe and I had fallen asleep in my car," he told me. Seeing my raised eyebrow, he continued. "We...uh...had a lot to talk about and...we fell sleep in my car...on a small promontory overlooking the harbor. Front row seats for the bombing, actually."
Interesting, I thought. Uncle Rafe comes back from the dead after four months, goes to see Aunt Evelyn at the hospital, but ends up falling asleep in a car after talking with his best friend. Normally, wouldn't a guy want to spend his first night home with his girl? Unless of course there was a problem...like maybe finding out that his best friend had taken his place....
I knew that I would have to think about everything some more. There were so many dates and little pieces of information floating around in my head. I really wanted to leave then...maybe ask some more questions later, but I didn't want to seem suspicious, so I began asking questions about the attack itself. It was amazing to hear about what had actually happened. Daddy had always been a good storyteller, and this was no different. I had read about it in school, of course, but those books were nothing compared to hearing it from someone who had actually been there.
Daddy in no way tried to glorify himself or Uncle Rafe, but I could tell how brave they had been. They were the only two pilots to get into the air. They had been shot at on the ground and in the air and they had watched their friends get shot at and die. When they ran out of ammo after shooting down seven planes, they landed and started helping the rescuers in the harbor. I knew my dad and Uncle Rafe were good, upstanding men, I just hadn't realized until that night that they were heroes too. Once again, it wasn't something we had ever talked about.
We spent another half hour talking about the aftermath and the Doolittle Raid. Mom came in at one point and took Eva to bed. It was an eye opening experience for me. My parents, and Uncle Rafe and Aunt Evelyn, had lived through...and fought in...a war. They had risked their lives and done heroic deeds, but to me they were normal, though their lives had been everything but. I couldn't even imagine going through what they did. So much had happened to them in such a short space of time...Daddy, Uncle Rafe and Aunt Evelyn had met...fallen in love, though I wasn't sure with who or when...been reassigned away from each other, been shot down, and presumed dead for months, only to came back in time for the Japanese to attack. They had not only survived, but also fought back and helped Pearl Harbor recover from that attack. Then daddy and Uncle Rafe had volunteered to go on the Doolittle Raid, a suicide mission, leaving Aunt Evelyn behind. And somewhere in that time...Danny, my Danny, had been conceived.
What a confusing time. This wasn't as simple as I had thought at first.
