The Lost Ones-8

Kessel.

Luke wandered along the halls of the New Republic medical frigate, trying to bring his tumultuous emotions under control so he could return to his father. Glimpsing the Kessel guard being fitted with a prosthesis had brought back such traumatic memories that he was afraid of disturbing Anakin and that was the last thing he wanted. His father might be healed of the injuries he'd received in the air factory explosion, but he still needed to rest.

//I've got to quit being so foolish about this.// Luke scolded himself. //Bespin was a long time ago. I shouldn't be upset about it anymore. Especially since Father is so different now.//

He thought of all the times Anakin had apologized for the events of Cloud City. And Luke knew how sincere, how intense his remorse was. He could feel it himself through their connection in the Force. Suddenly he stopped. A short time ago, he had experienced powerful feelings of pain, fear, and despair. Had he kept them shielded? Because otherwise, Anakin was sure to have felt them, too.

Luke immediately took off for his father's room. Ready or not, he would have to go back, reassure Anakin that he was all right, and come up with some plausible reason for those emotions. His father needed to sleep and regain his strength, and he would never do that if he believed Luke needed him.

Anakin was drifting, about to doze off, when he was overcome with sorrow, horror, and an almost agonizing pain. His breath caught in his throat as his eyes flew open and he sat up, struggling to make sense of what he was feeling. Almost at once, he realized that he was experiencing the onslaught secondhand. But that meant the feelings were coming from Luke. Which was even worse.

He leaped from the bed and grabbed his robe. His Jedi tunic and pants must have been burned in the explosion because he was currently wearing the sterile white top and pants that the medcenters issued to patients. Normally Anakin's dignity would have rebelled at the thought of going out in public, even on board the medical frigate, in what amounted to sleepwear, but now he didn't give it a second thought. He had to find his son and make sure he was okay. What could have possibly happened to Luke on board a New Republic transport to cause such feelings?

A medical droid intercepted him at the doorway. "Sir, if you need anything, we will be happy to-"

"I need to find my son," he interrupted curtly. "Do you know where he went?"

The droid considered, while Anakin fought the temptation to grab him and shake him until every bolt was rattling. Finally the droid said, "I believe he went to request an extra sleeping cot from supplies, which is located on the lower level. Most likely he-"

Just then Anakin saw Luke turn the corner down the hall. Abruptly leaving the med-droid, he hurried to meet his son, noting with relief that Luke seemed to be unharmed.

"Luke! Are you all right? What happened?" he exclaimed, even as he took his son by the shoulders and studied him more thoroughly.

"Oh, did you sense anything?" Luke tried to sound innocently surprised.

"What do you mean, 'Did I sense anything?' ? Of course I did. You were in pain and terribly upset. What was going on?" Anakin demanded.

"Well," Luke hedged. "I just saw some of the soldiers and slaves being treated for injuries, and I was feeling really bad again about starting the whole thing. I guess you picked up on that."

But Anakin wasn't buying it. He shook his head. "It was more than that. Are you sure you aren't hurt? Because if you are, you need to get treatment at once."

"I'm perfectly fine, Father. I wasn't injured at all, thanks to you," Luke noticed a distraction. "Oh, look, they're bringing the cot up. We need to show them which room to put it in."

He broke away from Anakin and went to lead the custodians carrying the cot to the right room. His father watched with a frown. Something was definitely bothering Luke, and he was not going to be put off that easily. But he refrained from saying anything else until they were alone in the small medcenter room again.

Luke was sitting on his cot, using a remote to flip through holonet channels, when Anakin came to sit beside him. "Son, something has been bothering you since before we landed on Kessel. What is it?"

"Nothing is bothering me, Father. You're imagining things."

Anakin sighed. "Luke, I am not stupid. And I know you well enough by now to know when something is wrong."

"Well, I did tell you that I felt guilty about starting the whole slave uprising, especially with you getting hurt, but that's all," Luke never took his eyes off the holonet screen. "Do you want to watch smashball or speeder racing?"

His father reached for the remote and turned the holonet off. "I want to talk about whatever is upsetting you. And don't say it's just guilt over the slave rebellion and the explosion again, because I know it's something more than that."

"And I already told you that nothing is wrong!" Luke took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He didn't want to get angry. Not after Anakin had risked a burning fire to save him today. Not to mention that anger and defensiveness would only convince Anakin that there was something wrong. There was, but Luke had no intentions of letting his father know how hurt and troubled he still was over their long-ago first duel.

Anakin rested his hand on his son's shoulder. "I only want to help because I love you."

"I know," Luke answered in a quiet voice. "I love you, too." //And that's why I can never tell you the truth.//

"Then let me help."

Silently Luke shook his head.

Anakin gazed at him with a mixture of love, pleading, and frustration. "Luke..."

"You know, Father, it's getting late, and I'm tired. I'm sure you are, too. Why don't we get some rest?" Luke slipped under the blanket and closed his eyes.

After a minute, Anakin turned out the lights and climbed into his bed. "If you change your mind, you can always talk to me, son."

"There's nothing wrong."

When Anakin spoke, his voice was full of pain. "I never thought you'd lie to me."

Luke didn't answer, but safely hidden in the darkness, he didn't stop the single tear that ran down his cheek. Silence hung heavily in the air until father and son finally fell into an uneasy sleep.