Little Trowa Fufu
By Jen "Mercedes" De Salme

Disclaimer: The boys aren't mine. *pouts* Even if that doesn't keep them from playing the insistent creativity demons. I'm not getting anything by writing this stuff except giggle fits, so there's nothing for you big-wigs to worry about. Ner.

Warnings: Uhh... Profanity, yeah, we got that. Lime-ish silliness, mm-hmm. Perversion of children's rhymes? Yeppers! Half-naked G-boys in skimpy costumes?

Oh-yeeeah.

Pairings: 3x4x3 mentioned. 3xEveryone else... Heh.

AN: Blame the bunny. ~~sung~~ [scene notes]
**********************

[Scene: A cheaply made fairy tale forest scene. It's obvious that everything was done with cardboard, scrap wood and poster paint.]

VOICE1: [Off-camera] NO!! Absolutely not! I'd rather let Dorothy skewer me again!

VOICE2: Now, Quatre, it's not THAT bad. Look, the others are wearing less than you...

QUATRE (VOICE1): [mumbles] Yes, but they're not wearing frilly tutus...[normal] But that's not the point! I will not tolerate Trowa doing--doing--THAT!

VOICE3: At least when it's not with you, heh?

QUATRE: DUO!

[DUO snickers. He, WUFEI, HEERO, and ZECHS walk on stage wearing nothing more than mouse ears and speedos with mouse-tails attached. DUO is humming to himself as he flops down under a tree on stage left. The others take their positions as well, HEERO stoically, WUFEI grumbling angrily, ZECHS looking embarrassed.]

VOICE2: [still off camera] He won't actually be DOING anything with the others...it's just acting.

QUATRE: [sound of rustling papers] All right, fine. You're the narrator... I swear, though, if you make him do ANYTHING--

NARRATOR (VOICE2): Don't worry, it's just acting. Now be quiet, we're starting.

[A little more grumbling can be heard from backstage, some muffled speech, and silence.]

[A moment later, tinny music starts playing and TROWA hops onto the stage. He's wearing about as much as the other boys, except his ears and tail are those of a rabbit.]

~~Little Trowa Fufu, hopping through the forest,
Scooping up the field mice, and fucking them up the ass.~~

[TROWA smirks and pounces on DUO, dragging him behind a cardboard bush. The bush shakes and moaning can be heard. A few moments later, a smug TROWA stands and hops out from behind the bush. All we see of DUO is his twitching hand from behind the bush.]

~~Down came the gooood fairy-- ~~

[A slightly miffed looking QUATRE "flies" in, attached to a wire stage harness which is mostly covered by the white frilly tutu. He's also wearing a pink midriff tee shirt and a pair of glitter-covered gauze and wire fairy wings. He sighs visibly and puts on a stern expression.]

~~ --and he said,
"Little Trowa Fufu, I don't want to see you,
Scooping up the field mice and fucking them up the ass."~~

QUATRE: [shaking a glittery wand at the "bunny"] I'll give you threeee chances, and then POOF!

[TROWA bows his head and looks apologetic. Nodding in satisfaction, QUATRE exits, though not before giving the bush DUO's hiding behind a scathing glare. Once QUATRE is gone, TROWA's expression turns predatory.]

~~Little Trowa Fufu, hopping through the forest, Scooping up the field mice, and fucking them up the ass.~~

[TROWA turns to ZECHS who gulps and sweatdrops. He tackles ZECHS, tumbling them behind another bush. After a few moments of moaning and shaking cardboard, TROWA hops out.]

~~Down came the gooood fairy-- ~~

[TROWA blinks and looks up as QUATRE enters, looking a bit more angry. He crosses his arms and taps his foot in mid-air.]

~~ --and he said,
"Little Trowa Fufu, I don't want to see you,
Scooping up the field mice and fucking them up the ass."~~

QUATRE: I'll give you twooo more chances, and then POOF!

[The "poof" has a decidedly menacing tone to it and TROWA gulps and nods. Platinum hair and grey mouse ears show over the bush as ZECHS looks out at them. He 'eeps' and ducks back behind the bush when QUATRE levels a glare in his direction. The blonde fairy exits.]

~~Little Trowa Fufu, hopping through the forest,
Scooping up the field mice, and fucking them up the ass.~~

[TROWA starts to hop back the way he came, when he spots WUFEI. The boy with the black mouse ears has his back to the audience. TROWA smiles and creeps up silently on him. As WUFEI starts to turn around, TROWA picks him up in his arms and drops him behind a nearby bush. A short scuffle ensues before we get a repeat performance of his taking of DUO and ZECHS. As TROWA leaves the bush, he blinks in surprise to see QUATRE already hovering a few feet away. The corner of his left eye has gained a noticeable tic.]

~~Down came the gooood fairy-- ~~

QUATRE: [mumbled] I'm already frigging here...

~~ --and he said,
"Little Trowa Fufu, I don't want to see you,
Scooping up the field mice and fucking them up the ass."~~

QUATRE: [clipping his words] I'll give you ONE. LAST. CHANCE. And then.... POOF!

[The wand snaps in QUATRE's hands and he gets a particularly dangerous gleam in his eye. TROWA's eyes get wide and he gulps again. He quickly sits cross-legged on the ground, folding his hands in his lap, trying to look like a good little "bunny". QUATRE grits his teeth and exits.]

~~Little Trowa Fufu, hopping through the forest,
Scooping up the field mice, and fucking them up the ass.~~

[TROWA slouches and looks thoroughly miserable. That is, until HEERO walks by. TROWA looks in the direction QUATRE left in, back at HEERO, back at the exit, back at HEERO. In the end, he jumps to his feet, scoops HEERO up over his shoulder and dives behind another bush. We see a similar scuffle to WUFEI's and when TROWA finally comes out from behind the cutout, he has a little less bounce to his hop, although he still looks smugly satisfied.]

~~Down came the gooood fairy-- ~~

[A "BOOM!" shakes the room. As the set starts falling over, the "field mice" come out from behind their bushes and look around, confused. Another rumble causes what's left of the cardboard and plywood cut-outs to fall over. TROWA looks out to stage right and gets an "oh shit" look on his face.]

~~ --and he said,
"Little Trowa Fufu, I didn't want to see you,
Scooping up the field mice and fucking them up the ass."~~

[Everyone on screen starts backing away from stage right as SANDROCK's foot enters. The rest of the gundam enters and it tilts its head to look down at the five.]

QUATRE: [from inside SANDROCK] I gave you THREE chances. So, NOW--

[SANDROCK moves to step on them, but they all scatter as the foot comes crashing through the set.]

QUATRE: Come back here, you bastard! Think you can cheat on me and get away with it, "little bunny"?! And you! Duo, Wufei...seducing my Trowa with your mousy ears...

[The other foot crashes down, smashing most of the set. The boys escape off screen.]

NARRATOR: [to audience] Thus concludes our tale. I hope you all enjoyed--

QUATRE: YOU!! You started this!

NARRATOR: Eep!

QUATRE: Come back here and take your just deserts!

[SANDROCK exits stage left, presumably casing the NARRATOR.]

[The now empty room is in shambles. Everything is silent, except for crashing and shouting heard in the distance.]

[A purple duck, an overweight chicken, and a dazed looking turkey waddle into the room. Facing the audience, they pull a sign out of nowhere and hold it above them.]

THE END.