The Attack of the Chibis
The Long Awaited Chapter 2
by lieiavalon2044, who didn't update this story for so long because she ran out of funny ideas because she used them all in her last chapter and in her other stories.
Disclaimers for the last chappie so people do not yell at me. And they're rather interesting, so read them anyway even if you don't want to! Or suffer my WRATH!
-Hiei: Oh god. You're scary enough when you're not angry.
-LieiAvalon: OH! THAT'S IT! I'M DELETING YOU! AND THAT'S REI THAT'S SCARY ENOUGH TO MAKE YOUKO RUN AWAY SCREAMING FOR HIS MOMMY!
-Hiei: Rei, remember that she said it and I didn't.
-LieiAvalon: Hiei! Am I going to have to show her this incriminating evidence!? **holds up a picture of Hiei dressed in a frilly pink tutu with big butterfly wings on the back and he's waving around a little star shaped sparkly wand**
-Hiei: **eyes widen in horror** How... I WAS BARELY EVEN TWO IN THAT PICTURE! AND HOW IS THAT INCRIMINATING EVIDENCE?!
Well, ahem, yes now that that's finished, here are the disclaimers.
*The FBI belongs strictly to the FBI. I do not own the FBI.
*Hot Chocolate belongs to whoever invented hot chocolate, and I would practically worship that person if they were still alive today.
*Buckingham Palace belongs to, uh... Whoever owns Buckingham Palace. That'd be the Queen.
*The message that Liei gave Koenma on the phone is from Calvin and Hobbes, but slightly adapted to fit this story.
*The chocolate cake idea? Yes, I did get that from a video of a comedian, can't remember which one, but he's hilarious.
*Jin belongs to Ireland. Touya belongs to Greenland, which belongs to Denmark. So I guess he belongs to Denmark.
*Disney belongs to Disney. And so do their songs. Most of their songs stink anyways... Some good movies though...
* The tennis ball belongs to my next door neighbor. I rescued it from their dog.
*Doritos belong to the people who own the company in charge of making Doritos. Frito Lay... Right?
*That brown haired youkai dude? I'll let you know, his name is Tanaka, and he's MINE! So is Liei. Rei is a friend's character.
*The Kokoryuu-haa? That belongs to the maker of YuYu Hakusho, as do Jin, (but I like Ireland better) Touya, Kurama, Youko Kurama, Hiei, Yusuke, Kuwabara, Yukina, and Botan ... Oh, and Koenma ...
As you can tell, I wasn't in the mood to remember stuff when I made the disclaimers. Some of them are true, in fact, most of them are true, but I just put them there because I needed a laugh. Don't kill me because this took so long. I had school.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Rei knelt down, piecing the many scattered CD's back together piece by piece and strip of tape by strip of tape.
"Darn kid... I am never gonna have one... NEVER EVER EVER IN THREE BILLION YEARS!!! It might be exactly like Hiei!" she muttered, ignoring the tennis ball (which still smelled faintly of shoe innards) that bumped into her foot... Until she asked.
"Rei-sama, may I have my ball?"
Rei froze, the horror turning all her blood cells into little horrified cells whose own cells were horrified and it went on and on and on... You get the picture. Lots of horrified blood cells. Whoopie... *waves a little flag in the air*
'Oh please say that that's not who I think it is... Let the nightmare have ended... I couldn't stand it if the person I think that is has been chibified...' Rei thought, her eyes huge and fixated on the broken CD cabinet. Then she finally got the nerve to look... And became absolutely beyond absolutely horrified.
"KYA~AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hiei jumped up from his chair and stared at the storage room door, which was still closed. Kurama and the others were staring too, rather stunned at the unexpected scream which had dragged them out of their thinking. This was a really difficult game of poker.
Well, actually what they were thinking about was what they'd managed to drag out of Rei as to what had happened from morning until night. As for information as to how they'd become chibis in the first place... Nada. Really what they didn't understand was why she was screaming now. There were no chibis to attempt murdering her, so what was she screaming about?
Their answer came very quickly in the shape of a furious Rei who had practically killed the door when she'd flung it open. She now stood directly in front of Hiei, who winced and reached for a pillow, but found that there were none within his reach to cover his eyes with. Then Rei held up something that made them all gape in horror, Yukina to scream and Botan actually passed out.
"Liei ... when... how?" Hiei managed, looking at Chibi Liei with her short blue hair, and very coppery eyes which were as innocent as they could possibly be.
"Hi I'm Liei. I'm only 4 and a half years old. Who are YOU?" the girl chirped, smiling widely. Then she stared at Hiei.
"ANTI GRAVITY HAIR!!!" she screamed in delight, launching herself toward Hiei's head.
"SHE'S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ADORABLE!!!" Yukina screamed, snatching the little youkai out of midair and embracing her in a rib shattering hug.
"Need... Air.... Turning... I... I think I'm gonna blow chunks!!!" Liei gasped, turning almost as blue as her hair. Yukina stopped hugging her and held her up to look at the cute lil kid again and broke down.
"SHE'S ABSOLUTELY THE SWEETEST LITTLE YOUKAI EVER TO LIVE!!!!!!!!!!" Yukina declared, dancing around happily, oblivious that Liei had just unintentionally broken the record for longest holding of breath in the world and had turned a beautiful shappirey color.
Kurama continued staring at Liei. This had to be the worst moment of his life.
"This can not POSSIBLY be happening..." he moaned, banging his head on the table. Everyone stared at him. They couldn't understand why Liei being a chibi would be so bad. She'd always been the calmest, quietest one of them. But they had only known her for a little while now, just over a year or so. In fact, Liei hadn't ever talked about her past much and neither had Rei.
"I can't see why this is going to be so bad Kurama ..." Botan chirped reassuringly. "Liei's the sweetest angel of all of us!"
Liei looked at all the adults. She didn't care what they were talking about, so she made sure that her yawn was enormously large. It didn't work. She yawned again, this time letting her sharp baby youkai fangs glint in the light. Still no attention.
'Extreme boredom calls for extreme measures...' she thought, fixing her sight on the chandelier hanging precariously above the CD cabinet in the living room.
"Burn..." she said softly, watching as a small spark appeared on top of one of the candles. Then she waited. Nobody was even stopping their conversation. She groaned. She'd be stuck here, turning bright shades of blue all night. Then...
"Hey, is it just me or does anyone smell smoke?" Rei asked, looking towards the kitchen, where Yusuke was making his special recipe for instant noodles, but it wasn't on fire yet. She glanced elsewhere and let out a shriek.
"MY CD CABINET!" she yelled, racing over to the now generously smoking cabinet. Liei giggled devilishly.
"Oopsie daisy. My bad..." she said through giggles. Kuwabara stared at the miniature youkai, giggling over Rei's many, "OWCH! &%^$#)&%&$#^%* FIRE! YOU'RE NOT %(&#w%(@%& ALLOWED TO BURN ME! THAT'S AN ORDER, YA HEAR?!". Kuwabara backed away nervously.
"Uh, guys? I think... I think she's... Evil..." he mumbled slowly, letting the full stupidity of the statement show very obviously.
Hiei smirked and pulled Liei out of Yukina's arms. He held her up level to his face, letting his ruby eyes delve into hers, which caused the little youkai to shiver uncontrollably.
"Like fire kid?" he asked, a smile starting to form on his face. Liei nodded happily, trying to jump up and down, but couldn't do that good a job of it.
Hiei looked over at the others, grinning evilly, looking as smug as ever.
"I say we get a babysitter." he said calmly, walking toward the door, picking up an envelope on the way.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Mukuro cursed again. It was so boring here. Nothing to do at all. Not even criticize her heir, who was conveniently, absent. A demon ran up, holding an envelope which was slightly singed and halfway frozen.
"It's from Hiei, er, Lady Mukuro?" the demon questioned warily, holding the envelope like it would burst into flames or freeze him into a demoncicle. Mukuro hastily snatched away the letter and tore it open, ripping the contained paper in the process. It didn't say much, just a couple of numbers and words.
~ Come to the Ningenkai~ You'll know where~ Before 12:00 am would be GREATLY appreciated not that all of us have brains to appreciate with.~
Mukuro shrugged. What the heck. It's not like she had anything better to do.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"I'm HUNGRY! I'm THIRSTY! I wanna play!" Liei whined. They all heard her, but made no attempt at all to pay attention. They had all managed to lock her out of her own room and now were thinking of it as a safe haven from the little terror.
The chandelier and CD cabinet hadn't been her only prey, but Hiei's hair, the couch, Botan's oar and other various objects had either been set on fire, frozen solid, or cut into tiny bits. Not to mention that Liei had decided Kuwabara's cat looked edible and decided to take a bite. Neither being won, Liei having been scratched and fur stuck in her mouth while the cat had fang marks in it's shoulder. But nothing serious. Just some band- aids, for the one who tried washing the cat... and whoever the unfortunate soul was that tended Liei's scratches...(Rei)
And to ensure their safety they'd gotten Touya to freeze Liei's bedroom door shut and Botan to put spirit wards on it to make sure she couldn't get in. Jin was relaxed, having a pillow fight, but it was one sided, his opponent too fast to hit with a soft cushy thing stuffed with foam or feathers. Even if he did it was instantly torn in half and feathers or foam made their way around the room, landing in creative places such as;
In Hiei's hair, the VCR, Rei's mouth (accompanied by much spluttering), Puu's fuzzy head, Yusuke's eye (MOMMY! GET IT OUT!), Kuwabara's toe (IT'S EATING ME URAMESHII!!!) and a piece of foam somehow impaled itself on Jin's horn. A feather also went down Kurama's shirt, causing several strange expressions to flit across his face until he finally fished it out. Botan was brushing them off her oar (which was badly singed and nicked to the point of falling apart) when they all heard a loud *DING DONG!* come from downstairs.
They all went silent.
*Please note that the following is in hushed voices so as the blue haired devil will not attempt to attack them through the door.
"Is... Is she gone?"
"Peek out and see Yusuke ..."
"Why should I? I didn't even ask the question! Make Kuwabara!"
"But Liei-chan is so adorable as a little kid... Can't we let her in?"
"Yukina, no."
"I don't see how you can still find her cute when she nearly gave us all heart attacks..."
"Shut up Hiei! I think she's answering the door!"
(Voices from Downstairs)
"HI! My name's Liei! I'm only four and a half years old! Who are YOUUUU!?"
"Um... I'm Mukuro ... I was asked to come here and..."
"WHERE"S YOUR FACE?!"
"Excuse me?"
"You're missing half your face!"
"You shouldn't be so rude! Come here runt!"
"Nah nah nah nah nah! You can't catc--- WAHHHH!!!! YOU HIT MY WITTLE NOSE!!!!!!!!!!"
"SHUT UP YOU ANNOYING RUNT!!!"
"Hey... I know who you must be!"
"Yes! I'm MU-KU-RO! Get that!? MUKURO!!!"
"No! I know you're Mukuro Non-Pretty-Lady, but all the nice adults locked their selves upstairs and won't come out. You must be my babysitter!"
"A what?"
"You know, a babysitter! I want ice cream! I wanna Snicker's pound cake! With extra chocolate! I wanna go to the fair! I wanna fly a kite! I wanna blow stuff up and make someone's brownie go KA-BLEWIE out their nose and make them need to go to the loo!"
"What?"
Upstairs, the adults weren't listening to the conversation anymore, but had decided to run out the window while the devil was detracted.
"Hey, Hiei, what will Mukuro do if she finds out this was all just a trick?" Yusuke asked as the climbed down the side of the house to creep out into the forest where they would hopefully not be noticed.
"Hn ..."
"Oh no. He's doing it again Rei!"
"Aw... Why are you all leaving so soon?" a cool voice whined from a nearby window sill. They all jerked their heads simultaneously in that direction. They saw a youkai maybe around Shuuichi's height, but with brown hair, dark blue eyes and black robes which reminded them strangely of Youko's clothing.
"Who... Are you?" Kuwabara asked, looking (you'll never expect this!) confused.
"Me?"
"Who else?" Hiei spat, trying not to spit on Yukina who happened to be climbing down the wall below him.
"Oh, naughty little Youkai ... No respect for your elders..." the strange man chuckled, suffering a punch to the jaw two seconds later.
(Hiei must be getting slow. Once you hit double digits, everything starts to go downhill.)
(Hiei: I'm not that old!
Youko: You're under double digits?! And you're married to Rei?!
Hiei: I'M NOT UNDER DOUBLE DIGITS! BUT YOU DON'T EXACTLY HAVE BRAGGING RIGHTS SAYING THAT YOU'RE PROBABLY A THOUSAND YEARS OLDER THAN YOUR WIFE!)
"I'm NOT little!" Hiei growled, watching as the youkai rubbed his jaw, muttering things under his breath. The youkai finally stood, all the group now standing around him, except for the girls who stood back, whispering and giggling. Except for Rei, who was standing next to Hiei on the ground.
"Well, since I'm apparently required to tell you who I am, my name is Tanaka."
Rei suddenly broke into laughter. Everyone stared.
"Oh no..." they heard Tanaka whisper, backing warily away from the insanely laughing Rei. "I recognize that laugh..."
Hiei and the others stared. Apparently this Tanaka had met Rei, or heard her evil insane laugh that she practiced every day. Then Rei fell over, shaking so hard they couldn't tell if she was having a seizure or not.
"It's... it's... you! You... were... that kid..." Rei said through snickers. They all turned to see that Tanaka was steadily turning deeper shades of red. Rei finally sat up and pointed at the blushing youkai, who was pleading with her with his now wide dark eyes.
"YOU WERE THE KID ALWAYS HITTING ON LIEI AND YOU ALWAYS FELL INTO MUD OR HORSE MANURE!" she shouting, laughing insanely. Tanaka cringed and covered his ears.
"It wasn't me... It never happened... This can't be happening... Why couldn't I have made them stay chibi for longer?" he said, hitting him self the next second.
"YOU WERE THE ONE THAT MADE US CHIBIS?!" all of the Tantei roared, hitting the unfortunate youkai at once.
"Uh... Oops..." they all said, looking at the now bruised, bloodied and unconscious Tanaka.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Liei jumped back and forth, making sure to keep the frustrated Mukuro right behind. She didn't want her fun ruined yet. Yes she was having fun annoying the heck out of Mukuro and jumping on couches and tables. She'd have to ask the nice grown-ups to get this babysitter again!
"Darn.... brat.... Get.... back... here..." Mukuro muttered before falling over. "Yomi ... You better come now... Darn... Blind guy... So slow at everything..."
"OOOOHHH!!! WHO ARE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!?"
"Me? I'm Yomi, one of the Makai Rulers."
"HI YOMI! MY NAME IS LIEI! I'M ONLY FOUR AND A HALF YEARS OLD! Why do you have horns Mr. Yomi?"
"Well Liei, I'll tell you just be a little quieter."
"Ok Yomi-sama!!!" Liei said, jumping onto the tall blind youkai's shoulder. He couldn't see Mukuro passed out on the floor (then again, she wasn't passed out, just muttering every curse in every world at him) but he could hear that she was there, her breathing heavy and her heart beating quickly. About time a little kid shut her up.
"Well Liei ... Wait, what time is it?"
"Really late."
" I say you might need a nap by now. Why don't I take you up to your room so you can rest?"
"Ok Yomi-sama!" Liei chirped, dragging the much taller and stronger youkai up the stairs. But he was a good sport and allowed him self to be dragged to a closed door.
"They won't open it."
"Well, stand back and let me open it for you. If you sleep for thirty minutes afterward, I'll take you back to the Makai for awhile."
"Yes Yomi-sama!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The others stood, dumbfounded, at the bottom of the stairs.
"Did... Liei just do what I think she did?"
"Yeah... She dumped Kurama ..."
"NO YUSUKE! She LISTENED TO SOMEONE! AND SHE LISTENED TO YOMI TO MAKE THINGS WORSE!"
"Why's listening to Yomi so bad? Yomi's a nice guy! He taught me how to play chess." Kurama said, tossing the (still) unconscious and bruised and bloodied Tanaka onto a couch, or something like it at least. Just not as comfortable to land on when wooden table and drink coasters impale your back.
"Yay... Sheh listen'd 'oo a 'uy 'or more s'unnin' news..." (1) Jin said, tugging at a piece of foam still stuck on his horn.
"Yes. In truth she did..." Touya said, gaping, his sharp pointy little fangs showing.
(He's mean and he'll bite off your head!)
(Touya: I'm a perfectly nice guy! It's not my fault all the other *^%)#*&^%*&^(%*&# mean people made me seem mean at the Dark Tournament!
Rei: At least you aren't related to me...
Yukina: *enters room* COUSIN TOUYA!
** You can guess what happens next. Aren't you smart! You guessed that Rei and Hiei would collapse, Kuwabara would scream that he'd be related to a guy with green hair by marrying Yukina, who, now that he thinks about it, has teal hair! Kurama would probably start reasoning that such a thing isn't possible and... It goes on. Oh, but I can't skip the part where Rei and Hiei wake up sleeping next to each other on the couch! I'll let you decide what happens next there! (HINT: Involves crowbars and baseball bats.) ^^ I'm EVIL!**)
Yomi came walking quietly down the stairs and, despite the fact that his eyes were closed like always, he looked satisfied. He was instantly mobbed.
"HOW'D YOU DO IT! YOU HAVE TO TELL US! THE SAKE OF OUR SURVIVAL DEPENDS ON IT!" they all begged, Jin and Hiei begging the loudest. Mukuro muttered something in her sleep that made all of them stop and Hiei blushed deeply.
"Mmmmmmmmm... Hiei ... So nice... So KAWAII!!!" Mukuro said smiling in her sleep, hugging a pillow which was apparently playing the role of Hiei. Yusuke turned to Hiei, smiling evilly.
"Please don't say it Yusuke ..."
"Hiei, ?(I can't do upside down question marks..) te gusta Mukuro?"
"Oh... kami ... Yusuke knows Spanish! Well, Hiei aren't you going to answer the question? Te gusta Mukuro?" Rei asked, leaning in close to Hiei who glanced frantically at Kurama.
"I can't help you Hiei. I know French, not Spanish." Kurama said. Then he smiled evilly and leaned against the wall casually. "So Hiei ... Te gusta Mukuro?"
to be continued
I know it's not as funny as the last chapter, but... It's because of school. It drains my mind away. All my good stuff was written or drawn during summer,when my mind wasn't restricted by teachers and homework! Oh, and if you have a character of your own or a line challenge for me, lemme know in a review!!!
*** In case you don't bother reading the stuff above this, review please and leave a line challenge if you have one. Thank you. And the question they keep asking Hiei is (I think cause I haven't looked at my Spanish for a little while) "Hiei, do you like Mukuro?"
I wanna see how I make Rei react to it if he says yes cause he has absolutely no clue what they're saying.
Jin Translations
Doo dee doo... Ok, on with the translations...
1)Yeah...She listened to a guy for more stunning news...
The Long Awaited Chapter 2
by lieiavalon2044, who didn't update this story for so long because she ran out of funny ideas because she used them all in her last chapter and in her other stories.
Disclaimers for the last chappie so people do not yell at me. And they're rather interesting, so read them anyway even if you don't want to! Or suffer my WRATH!
-Hiei: Oh god. You're scary enough when you're not angry.
-LieiAvalon: OH! THAT'S IT! I'M DELETING YOU! AND THAT'S REI THAT'S SCARY ENOUGH TO MAKE YOUKO RUN AWAY SCREAMING FOR HIS MOMMY!
-Hiei: Rei, remember that she said it and I didn't.
-LieiAvalon: Hiei! Am I going to have to show her this incriminating evidence!? **holds up a picture of Hiei dressed in a frilly pink tutu with big butterfly wings on the back and he's waving around a little star shaped sparkly wand**
-Hiei: **eyes widen in horror** How... I WAS BARELY EVEN TWO IN THAT PICTURE! AND HOW IS THAT INCRIMINATING EVIDENCE?!
Well, ahem, yes now that that's finished, here are the disclaimers.
*The FBI belongs strictly to the FBI. I do not own the FBI.
*Hot Chocolate belongs to whoever invented hot chocolate, and I would practically worship that person if they were still alive today.
*Buckingham Palace belongs to, uh... Whoever owns Buckingham Palace. That'd be the Queen.
*The message that Liei gave Koenma on the phone is from Calvin and Hobbes, but slightly adapted to fit this story.
*The chocolate cake idea? Yes, I did get that from a video of a comedian, can't remember which one, but he's hilarious.
*Jin belongs to Ireland. Touya belongs to Greenland, which belongs to Denmark. So I guess he belongs to Denmark.
*Disney belongs to Disney. And so do their songs. Most of their songs stink anyways... Some good movies though...
* The tennis ball belongs to my next door neighbor. I rescued it from their dog.
*Doritos belong to the people who own the company in charge of making Doritos. Frito Lay... Right?
*That brown haired youkai dude? I'll let you know, his name is Tanaka, and he's MINE! So is Liei. Rei is a friend's character.
*The Kokoryuu-haa? That belongs to the maker of YuYu Hakusho, as do Jin, (but I like Ireland better) Touya, Kurama, Youko Kurama, Hiei, Yusuke, Kuwabara, Yukina, and Botan ... Oh, and Koenma ...
As you can tell, I wasn't in the mood to remember stuff when I made the disclaimers. Some of them are true, in fact, most of them are true, but I just put them there because I needed a laugh. Don't kill me because this took so long. I had school.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Rei knelt down, piecing the many scattered CD's back together piece by piece and strip of tape by strip of tape.
"Darn kid... I am never gonna have one... NEVER EVER EVER IN THREE BILLION YEARS!!! It might be exactly like Hiei!" she muttered, ignoring the tennis ball (which still smelled faintly of shoe innards) that bumped into her foot... Until she asked.
"Rei-sama, may I have my ball?"
Rei froze, the horror turning all her blood cells into little horrified cells whose own cells were horrified and it went on and on and on... You get the picture. Lots of horrified blood cells. Whoopie... *waves a little flag in the air*
'Oh please say that that's not who I think it is... Let the nightmare have ended... I couldn't stand it if the person I think that is has been chibified...' Rei thought, her eyes huge and fixated on the broken CD cabinet. Then she finally got the nerve to look... And became absolutely beyond absolutely horrified.
"KYA~AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hiei jumped up from his chair and stared at the storage room door, which was still closed. Kurama and the others were staring too, rather stunned at the unexpected scream which had dragged them out of their thinking. This was a really difficult game of poker.
Well, actually what they were thinking about was what they'd managed to drag out of Rei as to what had happened from morning until night. As for information as to how they'd become chibis in the first place... Nada. Really what they didn't understand was why she was screaming now. There were no chibis to attempt murdering her, so what was she screaming about?
Their answer came very quickly in the shape of a furious Rei who had practically killed the door when she'd flung it open. She now stood directly in front of Hiei, who winced and reached for a pillow, but found that there were none within his reach to cover his eyes with. Then Rei held up something that made them all gape in horror, Yukina to scream and Botan actually passed out.
"Liei ... when... how?" Hiei managed, looking at Chibi Liei with her short blue hair, and very coppery eyes which were as innocent as they could possibly be.
"Hi I'm Liei. I'm only 4 and a half years old. Who are YOU?" the girl chirped, smiling widely. Then she stared at Hiei.
"ANTI GRAVITY HAIR!!!" she screamed in delight, launching herself toward Hiei's head.
"SHE'S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ADORABLE!!!" Yukina screamed, snatching the little youkai out of midair and embracing her in a rib shattering hug.
"Need... Air.... Turning... I... I think I'm gonna blow chunks!!!" Liei gasped, turning almost as blue as her hair. Yukina stopped hugging her and held her up to look at the cute lil kid again and broke down.
"SHE'S ABSOLUTELY THE SWEETEST LITTLE YOUKAI EVER TO LIVE!!!!!!!!!!" Yukina declared, dancing around happily, oblivious that Liei had just unintentionally broken the record for longest holding of breath in the world and had turned a beautiful shappirey color.
Kurama continued staring at Liei. This had to be the worst moment of his life.
"This can not POSSIBLY be happening..." he moaned, banging his head on the table. Everyone stared at him. They couldn't understand why Liei being a chibi would be so bad. She'd always been the calmest, quietest one of them. But they had only known her for a little while now, just over a year or so. In fact, Liei hadn't ever talked about her past much and neither had Rei.
"I can't see why this is going to be so bad Kurama ..." Botan chirped reassuringly. "Liei's the sweetest angel of all of us!"
Liei looked at all the adults. She didn't care what they were talking about, so she made sure that her yawn was enormously large. It didn't work. She yawned again, this time letting her sharp baby youkai fangs glint in the light. Still no attention.
'Extreme boredom calls for extreme measures...' she thought, fixing her sight on the chandelier hanging precariously above the CD cabinet in the living room.
"Burn..." she said softly, watching as a small spark appeared on top of one of the candles. Then she waited. Nobody was even stopping their conversation. She groaned. She'd be stuck here, turning bright shades of blue all night. Then...
"Hey, is it just me or does anyone smell smoke?" Rei asked, looking towards the kitchen, where Yusuke was making his special recipe for instant noodles, but it wasn't on fire yet. She glanced elsewhere and let out a shriek.
"MY CD CABINET!" she yelled, racing over to the now generously smoking cabinet. Liei giggled devilishly.
"Oopsie daisy. My bad..." she said through giggles. Kuwabara stared at the miniature youkai, giggling over Rei's many, "OWCH! &%^$#)&%&$#^%* FIRE! YOU'RE NOT %(&#w%(@%& ALLOWED TO BURN ME! THAT'S AN ORDER, YA HEAR?!". Kuwabara backed away nervously.
"Uh, guys? I think... I think she's... Evil..." he mumbled slowly, letting the full stupidity of the statement show very obviously.
Hiei smirked and pulled Liei out of Yukina's arms. He held her up level to his face, letting his ruby eyes delve into hers, which caused the little youkai to shiver uncontrollably.
"Like fire kid?" he asked, a smile starting to form on his face. Liei nodded happily, trying to jump up and down, but couldn't do that good a job of it.
Hiei looked over at the others, grinning evilly, looking as smug as ever.
"I say we get a babysitter." he said calmly, walking toward the door, picking up an envelope on the way.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Mukuro cursed again. It was so boring here. Nothing to do at all. Not even criticize her heir, who was conveniently, absent. A demon ran up, holding an envelope which was slightly singed and halfway frozen.
"It's from Hiei, er, Lady Mukuro?" the demon questioned warily, holding the envelope like it would burst into flames or freeze him into a demoncicle. Mukuro hastily snatched away the letter and tore it open, ripping the contained paper in the process. It didn't say much, just a couple of numbers and words.
~ Come to the Ningenkai~ You'll know where~ Before 12:00 am would be GREATLY appreciated not that all of us have brains to appreciate with.~
Mukuro shrugged. What the heck. It's not like she had anything better to do.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"I'm HUNGRY! I'm THIRSTY! I wanna play!" Liei whined. They all heard her, but made no attempt at all to pay attention. They had all managed to lock her out of her own room and now were thinking of it as a safe haven from the little terror.
The chandelier and CD cabinet hadn't been her only prey, but Hiei's hair, the couch, Botan's oar and other various objects had either been set on fire, frozen solid, or cut into tiny bits. Not to mention that Liei had decided Kuwabara's cat looked edible and decided to take a bite. Neither being won, Liei having been scratched and fur stuck in her mouth while the cat had fang marks in it's shoulder. But nothing serious. Just some band- aids, for the one who tried washing the cat... and whoever the unfortunate soul was that tended Liei's scratches...(Rei)
And to ensure their safety they'd gotten Touya to freeze Liei's bedroom door shut and Botan to put spirit wards on it to make sure she couldn't get in. Jin was relaxed, having a pillow fight, but it was one sided, his opponent too fast to hit with a soft cushy thing stuffed with foam or feathers. Even if he did it was instantly torn in half and feathers or foam made their way around the room, landing in creative places such as;
In Hiei's hair, the VCR, Rei's mouth (accompanied by much spluttering), Puu's fuzzy head, Yusuke's eye (MOMMY! GET IT OUT!), Kuwabara's toe (IT'S EATING ME URAMESHII!!!) and a piece of foam somehow impaled itself on Jin's horn. A feather also went down Kurama's shirt, causing several strange expressions to flit across his face until he finally fished it out. Botan was brushing them off her oar (which was badly singed and nicked to the point of falling apart) when they all heard a loud *DING DONG!* come from downstairs.
They all went silent.
*Please note that the following is in hushed voices so as the blue haired devil will not attempt to attack them through the door.
"Is... Is she gone?"
"Peek out and see Yusuke ..."
"Why should I? I didn't even ask the question! Make Kuwabara!"
"But Liei-chan is so adorable as a little kid... Can't we let her in?"
"Yukina, no."
"I don't see how you can still find her cute when she nearly gave us all heart attacks..."
"Shut up Hiei! I think she's answering the door!"
(Voices from Downstairs)
"HI! My name's Liei! I'm only four and a half years old! Who are YOUUUU!?"
"Um... I'm Mukuro ... I was asked to come here and..."
"WHERE"S YOUR FACE?!"
"Excuse me?"
"You're missing half your face!"
"You shouldn't be so rude! Come here runt!"
"Nah nah nah nah nah! You can't catc--- WAHHHH!!!! YOU HIT MY WITTLE NOSE!!!!!!!!!!"
"SHUT UP YOU ANNOYING RUNT!!!"
"Hey... I know who you must be!"
"Yes! I'm MU-KU-RO! Get that!? MUKURO!!!"
"No! I know you're Mukuro Non-Pretty-Lady, but all the nice adults locked their selves upstairs and won't come out. You must be my babysitter!"
"A what?"
"You know, a babysitter! I want ice cream! I wanna Snicker's pound cake! With extra chocolate! I wanna go to the fair! I wanna fly a kite! I wanna blow stuff up and make someone's brownie go KA-BLEWIE out their nose and make them need to go to the loo!"
"What?"
Upstairs, the adults weren't listening to the conversation anymore, but had decided to run out the window while the devil was detracted.
"Hey, Hiei, what will Mukuro do if she finds out this was all just a trick?" Yusuke asked as the climbed down the side of the house to creep out into the forest where they would hopefully not be noticed.
"Hn ..."
"Oh no. He's doing it again Rei!"
"Aw... Why are you all leaving so soon?" a cool voice whined from a nearby window sill. They all jerked their heads simultaneously in that direction. They saw a youkai maybe around Shuuichi's height, but with brown hair, dark blue eyes and black robes which reminded them strangely of Youko's clothing.
"Who... Are you?" Kuwabara asked, looking (you'll never expect this!) confused.
"Me?"
"Who else?" Hiei spat, trying not to spit on Yukina who happened to be climbing down the wall below him.
"Oh, naughty little Youkai ... No respect for your elders..." the strange man chuckled, suffering a punch to the jaw two seconds later.
(Hiei must be getting slow. Once you hit double digits, everything starts to go downhill.)
(Hiei: I'm not that old!
Youko: You're under double digits?! And you're married to Rei?!
Hiei: I'M NOT UNDER DOUBLE DIGITS! BUT YOU DON'T EXACTLY HAVE BRAGGING RIGHTS SAYING THAT YOU'RE PROBABLY A THOUSAND YEARS OLDER THAN YOUR WIFE!)
"I'm NOT little!" Hiei growled, watching as the youkai rubbed his jaw, muttering things under his breath. The youkai finally stood, all the group now standing around him, except for the girls who stood back, whispering and giggling. Except for Rei, who was standing next to Hiei on the ground.
"Well, since I'm apparently required to tell you who I am, my name is Tanaka."
Rei suddenly broke into laughter. Everyone stared.
"Oh no..." they heard Tanaka whisper, backing warily away from the insanely laughing Rei. "I recognize that laugh..."
Hiei and the others stared. Apparently this Tanaka had met Rei, or heard her evil insane laugh that she practiced every day. Then Rei fell over, shaking so hard they couldn't tell if she was having a seizure or not.
"It's... it's... you! You... were... that kid..." Rei said through snickers. They all turned to see that Tanaka was steadily turning deeper shades of red. Rei finally sat up and pointed at the blushing youkai, who was pleading with her with his now wide dark eyes.
"YOU WERE THE KID ALWAYS HITTING ON LIEI AND YOU ALWAYS FELL INTO MUD OR HORSE MANURE!" she shouting, laughing insanely. Tanaka cringed and covered his ears.
"It wasn't me... It never happened... This can't be happening... Why couldn't I have made them stay chibi for longer?" he said, hitting him self the next second.
"YOU WERE THE ONE THAT MADE US CHIBIS?!" all of the Tantei roared, hitting the unfortunate youkai at once.
"Uh... Oops..." they all said, looking at the now bruised, bloodied and unconscious Tanaka.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Liei jumped back and forth, making sure to keep the frustrated Mukuro right behind. She didn't want her fun ruined yet. Yes she was having fun annoying the heck out of Mukuro and jumping on couches and tables. She'd have to ask the nice grown-ups to get this babysitter again!
"Darn.... brat.... Get.... back... here..." Mukuro muttered before falling over. "Yomi ... You better come now... Darn... Blind guy... So slow at everything..."
"OOOOHHH!!! WHO ARE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!?"
"Me? I'm Yomi, one of the Makai Rulers."
"HI YOMI! MY NAME IS LIEI! I'M ONLY FOUR AND A HALF YEARS OLD! Why do you have horns Mr. Yomi?"
"Well Liei, I'll tell you just be a little quieter."
"Ok Yomi-sama!!!" Liei said, jumping onto the tall blind youkai's shoulder. He couldn't see Mukuro passed out on the floor (then again, she wasn't passed out, just muttering every curse in every world at him) but he could hear that she was there, her breathing heavy and her heart beating quickly. About time a little kid shut her up.
"Well Liei ... Wait, what time is it?"
"Really late."
" I say you might need a nap by now. Why don't I take you up to your room so you can rest?"
"Ok Yomi-sama!" Liei chirped, dragging the much taller and stronger youkai up the stairs. But he was a good sport and allowed him self to be dragged to a closed door.
"They won't open it."
"Well, stand back and let me open it for you. If you sleep for thirty minutes afterward, I'll take you back to the Makai for awhile."
"Yes Yomi-sama!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The others stood, dumbfounded, at the bottom of the stairs.
"Did... Liei just do what I think she did?"
"Yeah... She dumped Kurama ..."
"NO YUSUKE! She LISTENED TO SOMEONE! AND SHE LISTENED TO YOMI TO MAKE THINGS WORSE!"
"Why's listening to Yomi so bad? Yomi's a nice guy! He taught me how to play chess." Kurama said, tossing the (still) unconscious and bruised and bloodied Tanaka onto a couch, or something like it at least. Just not as comfortable to land on when wooden table and drink coasters impale your back.
"Yay... Sheh listen'd 'oo a 'uy 'or more s'unnin' news..." (1) Jin said, tugging at a piece of foam still stuck on his horn.
"Yes. In truth she did..." Touya said, gaping, his sharp pointy little fangs showing.
(He's mean and he'll bite off your head!)
(Touya: I'm a perfectly nice guy! It's not my fault all the other *^%)#*&^%*&^(%*&# mean people made me seem mean at the Dark Tournament!
Rei: At least you aren't related to me...
Yukina: *enters room* COUSIN TOUYA!
** You can guess what happens next. Aren't you smart! You guessed that Rei and Hiei would collapse, Kuwabara would scream that he'd be related to a guy with green hair by marrying Yukina, who, now that he thinks about it, has teal hair! Kurama would probably start reasoning that such a thing isn't possible and... It goes on. Oh, but I can't skip the part where Rei and Hiei wake up sleeping next to each other on the couch! I'll let you decide what happens next there! (HINT: Involves crowbars and baseball bats.) ^^ I'm EVIL!**)
Yomi came walking quietly down the stairs and, despite the fact that his eyes were closed like always, he looked satisfied. He was instantly mobbed.
"HOW'D YOU DO IT! YOU HAVE TO TELL US! THE SAKE OF OUR SURVIVAL DEPENDS ON IT!" they all begged, Jin and Hiei begging the loudest. Mukuro muttered something in her sleep that made all of them stop and Hiei blushed deeply.
"Mmmmmmmmm... Hiei ... So nice... So KAWAII!!!" Mukuro said smiling in her sleep, hugging a pillow which was apparently playing the role of Hiei. Yusuke turned to Hiei, smiling evilly.
"Please don't say it Yusuke ..."
"Hiei, ?(I can't do upside down question marks..) te gusta Mukuro?"
"Oh... kami ... Yusuke knows Spanish! Well, Hiei aren't you going to answer the question? Te gusta Mukuro?" Rei asked, leaning in close to Hiei who glanced frantically at Kurama.
"I can't help you Hiei. I know French, not Spanish." Kurama said. Then he smiled evilly and leaned against the wall casually. "So Hiei ... Te gusta Mukuro?"
to be continued
I know it's not as funny as the last chapter, but... It's because of school. It drains my mind away. All my good stuff was written or drawn during summer,when my mind wasn't restricted by teachers and homework! Oh, and if you have a character of your own or a line challenge for me, lemme know in a review!!!
*** In case you don't bother reading the stuff above this, review please and leave a line challenge if you have one. Thank you. And the question they keep asking Hiei is (I think cause I haven't looked at my Spanish for a little while) "Hiei, do you like Mukuro?"
I wanna see how I make Rei react to it if he says yes cause he has absolutely no clue what they're saying.
Jin Translations
Doo dee doo... Ok, on with the translations...
1)Yeah...She listened to a guy for more stunning news...
