Author's Notes: Thank you for all the great reviews! They mean so much to me! : ) I am glad that you like the story so far. Here is chapter 4. I hope you'll like this one as well. I'd love to know what you think and if you want to read more! : ) Thanks!
Chapter 4: "Sins Of A Father"
Abby was sitting in the bedroom, staring at the phone in front of her and the numbers on the piece of paper in her hand.
Maggie and Eric were in their rooms. She wanted to be alone to call the number. The only person she wanted to stay was Carter. He was sitting next to her on the bed with his arm around her. He was slowly forming small patterns on her arm to make her relax a little. He could feel the tension in her.
She sighed deeply before she turned her head to Carter.
"I haven't seen him for almost 25 years, how can I call him now?" She sighed. "The last time I saw him was in our garden in Minnesota. It was summer and Eric and I were playing. My brother was only 4 and I was 7. He was leaving for work as he did every morning. He gave us both a hug and kissed our foreheads before he said good bye to us. His last good bye, I never saw him again after that morning. I was sitting at the window for a whole week, staring at the spot on the street where his car usually stood, waiting for him to come back. But he never did. Eric and I loved him so much, but he just left.", she said and looked down at her hands in her lap that were nervously playing with the piece of paper.
Although Abby never really talked a lot about her father, he knew how her father left them.
"I know you are scared and it hurts to remember all that. But you really need to talk to him."
Carter was desperate. Her father was their only real chance. And he was not willing to let that chance go. He knew she was having a hard time, but she had to call him.
"But how can I demand anything from him now? I never called him before. It doesn't feel right that I call him just because I need something."
He felt for her. She was always blaming herself. And he knew she meant it, she was not only saying it. He tightened his embrace around her.
"Abby, it's not your fault. You know that. He left you, your brother and your mother when you were 7 years old. How could it be your fault? You were a little girl. There was nothing you could have done."
He could see tears in her eyes. Talking about the past brought all the sad memories back to her mind. It hurt him that she had to go through that. But there was no other way.
He kissed her forehead gently. "If he has a heart, he will be willing to help. Even if it's only to make up for everything he did to you in the past."
"Maybe if I tried harder to take care of my mother, maybe he would have stayed.", she whispered, almost not audible. Her voice was cracking with every word, the emotions she felt making it hard for her to speak.
He pulled her into a hug. Not a second too early, since she started to sob immediately when he pulled her head to his chest to comfort her.
"Oh Abby, he is a fool that he left you. You are a wonderful person, it can't have anything to do with you that he left, believe me. He doesn't deserve a daughter like you."
He could feel her calm down in his arms. She pulled away from his embrace, only enough to kiss him on the cheek. The little smile she had on her face made his heart skip a beat.
Finally, she took a deep breath, grabbed the phone and started dialling the number her mother gave her earlier.
It took about an hour before she finally had the right number. Of course her father wasn't living there anymore where he lived 25 years ago. But fortunately Abby only had friendly people on the phone, so it was easy to find him.
Abby sighed and held out her hand for Carter. She was holding another piece of paper in her hand.
"That should be his number."
Carter took the paper and tried to figure out what numbers she wrote down with her shaking hand while she was on the phone.
"That's a number from ..."
"Yeah, Chicago.", she cut him short. "I can't believe he's living here, maybe only 2 streets away from us. Maybe we met already while shopping or something. I was 7 when he left, I don't remember what exactly he looked like."
Carter looked at her, putting his hand reassuringly on her back.
"Do you want to be alone to call him?"
She shook her head and took the phone to dial the number. Carter could see her hand trembling while she was holding the phone to her ear. He could tell she was nervous to talk to her father after so many years.
The room was silent. All Carter and Abby could hear was each others breathing and the noise of the phone while they were waiting for the person on the other end of the line to pick up.
Carter could feel Abby's body tense when finally someone picked up the phone.
"Hello?", a female voice said.
Abby couldn't speak. Who was that woman? She didn't expect anyone else than her father to pick up the phone. A feeling told her that it was not the wrong number again.
"Hello?!", the voice asked a second time, with impatience this time, but still friendly.
"Hey, say something.", Carter whispered to Abby and started to rub her back.
That brought Abby back to reality. She swallowed hard before she found her voice.
"Hello, this is Abigail Carter, I'd like to talk to George Wyczenski."
"Hold on a second.", the female voice answered. She obviously put the phone down.
Abby could hear her call his name. She wasn't sure, but she thought she could also hear children in the background. At least two, a boy and a girl.
Abby turned her head to look at Carter. He gave her a smile and kissed her forehead to reassure her that she was doing great.
"Hello?", a male voice finally said.
Abby had to swallow again. This time it was even harder to speak. But she knew she had to.
"Hello. This is ... this is Abigail Carter.", she paused for a moment. "I am Maggie Wyczenski's daughter." She couldn't bring herself to say that she was his daughter. She just didn't feel like she was talking to her father. Too much time passed since she saw him the last time and it hurt her too much that he just left them 25 years ago.
This time it was her turn to wait for an answer. All she could hear was nervous breathing on the other end of the line.
"Are you still there?", she finally asked.
"Yeah, sorry, I am.", he finally said.
"I need to meet you.", she blurted out without further thinking. She knew if she thought about it, she would never be able to bring it out.
He was silent for a while before he answered. "Yeah, where?" He didn't know exactly what to say either. He didn't expect to ever talk to his daughter again.
"You say something and I'll be there. I live in Chicago, too."
He hardly believed what the woman on the other end of the line told him. His daughter was living in the same town, for years maybe, and he didn't know about it.
"Let's meet at Larry's. It's a small café here. Tomorrow at 5?"
"I'll be there.", she said and put down the phone quickly after he gave her the address.
***
"Who was that?", the woman in her early forties asked when she came out of the kitchen and saw that George hung up the phone.
"An old classmate. She is planning a 30 year reunion and asked if I could come.", he lied to his wife.
"Oh, these are fun.", she said while she wrapped her arms around his neck. "You will go, right?", she added and smiled at him.
"Yeah, it's tomorrow at 5."
"That's great. I am at school with Anna and Rick, though. You know, their play at school. We have to decorate lots of stuff. So I won't be able to come with you. But I am sure you will enjoy yourself, even without me.", she said and disappeared into the kitchen again.
He sighed, he was relieved that she couldn't come with him.
He turned around to go into the living room. His 7 year old son Rick and his 10 year old daughter Anna were sitting in front of the TV.
The memories of the past came back. They were sitting there like Abby and Eric many years ago. He wanted to meet his daughter, but he couldn't endanger his new life.
***
Abby hung up the phone and looked at Carter. She felt weird after the phone call. She never wanted to see him again after what he did to her, her brother and her mother. But on the other hand she wanted to see him, to know what life he lived after he left them. And she wanted him to answer her questions. She wanted to know why he left them.
Suddenly she noticed the questioning look on Carter's face. She still didn't tell him what he said. Her thoughts were somewhere else.
"We will meet tomorrow at 5, he lives at the other end of the town." Abby was glad that he didn't live anywhere near.
"Do you want me to come with you?", he asked.
She just put her arms around him and hugged him tightly. She was glad that she had him.
That was answer enough for him. He could feel that she needed him close. Usually she was strong and independent. But since she knew that she had Leukaemia she cried and needed to be hugged and reassured a lot. Especially since it was getting more and more emotional.
But he was glad that she let him in. And he loved it to be there for her.
"Thank you.", she whispered into his chest.
When they parted from their embrace and he looked into her eyes he could see that something else was wrong. She was not only upset because she talked to her father.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
"I ... I think he is married again. And that he has children."
He could see that the thought that he has another family after he left them upset her.
"You don't know that.", he said, trying to show her that it's possible that she's wrong.
"And who was that woman on the phone?", she asked and looked into his eyes. "And I am sure I have heard children in the background. We were not good enough for him. And now he has another family." She tried hard to compose herself. She didn't want to cry again.
He could see that she was holding back tears and pulled her into his arms once again. He knew it was possible that she was right. Not that they were not good enough for Abby's father, because he was not good enough for them. But that he had a new wife and children was possible. But he didn't want to upset Abby even more.
"You know that you are more than good enough for him. And who knows who that woman was. Let's wait until we know anything for sure before we let it upset us, okay?"
He felt her nod against his chest, though he knew he couldn't really convince her. But she was calmer and that was all he could ask for.
***
Abby awoke early the next day after a night without sleep. At least it seemed like she didn't sleep only one single minute. The meeting they had today was on her mind all the time.
She turned around and could see that Carter was still sleeping. He had his arm around her protectively.
She freed herself from his embrace, careful not to wake him up. She felt already guilty because she demanded so much time from him lately. She wanted him to have his sleep at least. He already lay awake with her last night, holding her in his arms, trying to give a little of his strength to her.
She walked over to the kitchen to make some coffee. On her way she came past her mother's and her brother's room. Through the half open door she could see that they were still sleeping peacefully. It seemed at least like that. Though she knew they worried, too.
On the one hand she felt guilty that she caused her loved ones so much heartache. But on the other hand she was glad that she had them. She didn't know what she would do without them. To feel loved helped her a lot.
She filled the water in the coffee machine with shaky hands. She was still hours apart from meeting her father, but she was already nervous like hell. She felt her heart pounding in her chest. A laugh escaped her when she thought about it. She'd have a heart attack when she really stood in front of him. She was glad Carter would go with her.
When the coffee was finished she sat down at the kitchen table to think about what she'd say to her father later.
***
Carter awoke from the smell of coffee in the air.
He felt immediately that Abby was not with him in bed. He turned around to look at the alarm clock and saw that it was only 8 am.
He decided to get up and see where she was since he was a little worried.
"Good morning.", he greeted her when he entered the kitchen and saw her sit at the table.
Abby didn't notice that he entered the kitchen because she was deep in thoughts and jumped at the sound of his voice, almost spilling the coffee all over the table.
"Sorry.", he said while he walked over to her. "I didn't mean to startle you. I was just wondering where you were since I was alone in bed when I woke up."
He leaned down to kiss her on the cheek.
She kissed him back and got up to hug him. "Good morning. It's okay, I was just thinking and didn't want to wake you up."
"About your father?", he asked concerned.
She nodded.
"Don't worry, it will be alright."
She wanted to believe him, but she couldn't help it, she was worried.
***
Abby spent the whole morning pacing around the apartment doing this and that to keep herself busy, to distract herself from what would happen later.
When there was nothing left to do, she decided that she could get dressed already.
She could hear that John was having a shower when she stood in front of the bathroom door and entered it.
"John?"
"Hmm."
"How much longer do you need?", she asked, standing in front of the mirror, staring at herself.
"Not much longer, why?"
"I just don't want to be late."
"Don't worry, we have still plenty of time."
He was waiting for a response, but there was none.
"Abby?"
When there was still no answer, he turned off the water, stepped out of the shower and walked towards her after wrapping a towel around himself. He followed her gaze into the mirror.
"Abby?", he asked her again. That brought her out of her thoughts.
"Huh?"
"What's wrong?"
"What do you think he will think about me when he sees me?", she finally asked, looking into his eyes now.
He sighed. She should really not worry about what he thinks.
"Abby, I know it's not easy, but try not to worry about that. He made the mistakes. He should feel guilty and worried. But to answer your question, he can only be proud of his daughter if you ask me. The little girl has become a beautiful woman with a great personality.", he said and took her hands in his. "He won't complain.", he added with a smirk.
"You're sweet.", she smiled.
"I'm only telling you the truth.", he answered, smiling, too, before they kissed.
She was really wondering how he always did that. No matter what was bothering her, he could always make her smile. Though she didn't know herself why she was worried. She did not plan to have a father daughter relationship with him again. He hurt her too much for that. She just needed his "biological help". That was all. John was right, it didn't matter what he thought about her.
"I will get dressed now and go get something to eat for your mother and your brother, okay?"
"Okay."
***
Only 5 minutes after he kissed her goodbye and left the apartment, the doorbell rang.
"Forgot your keys?", she asked while opening the door, expecting that John came back. But when the door was open she could see that it was not her husband.
"Susan!", she exclaimed.
"Hey!", Susan said and greeted her with a big hug. "Didn't hear from you for a few days and I wanted to make sure that you are okay."
Abby felt guilty. She completely forgot to call Susan. She didn't talk to her since she told her that Dr Warner wanted to see her a few days ago. But there were just so many things to worry about and she didn't feel like talking to anyone.
"God, I am sorry Susan. Come in."
Abby led her over to the living room and made her sit down next to her on the couch.
"So?", Susan asked impatiently. She was really worried about her best friend. She wanted to wait until Abby comes around, but she just couldn't stand it anymore not to know what was going on. "I don't mean to push you, but I am really worried about you.", she added, looking into Abby's eyes.
"I'm really sorry Susan. I should have called you, but there was so much going on in my head, so much happened, I couldn't talk to anyone."
Abby's words made Susan worry even more.
"That's okay.", she said honestly. "But I can't say that your words make me worry less. Do you feel like talking about it now?", she asked. Abby made her really nervous.
Abby nodded, though it was still hard to talk. But she knew Susan needed to know. She'd want to know, too if something was wrong with Susan.
"Okay, short version. I saw Dr Warner that day, he had my test results." She sighed deeply, tears filling her eyes. "It's Leukaemia, but in an early stage. Medication might be enough, but just to be prepared we need a donor. John got tested, my mother and my brother are here, they got tested, too. No match yet. Today I am going to see my father."
Susan was staring at her friend with tears in her eyes. She couldn't believe what Abby just told her. She knew about her father and what Abby thought about him. That she wanted to see him meant that it was serious.
"I can't believe Abby, I ...", was all she could say before the first tears started to fall.
"Hey, don't cry.", Abby said and put her hand on Susan's knee.
"Sorry. It's only the hormones.", Susan lied between sobs.
"It's okay, I just don't want you to worry." Abby couldn't see her friend crying because of her. She tried to find something to change the subject. "So, how's the baby?", she asked and put her hand on Susan's belly.
As much as Susan wanted to know more details, she understood that Abby didn't want to talk about it. "The baby is great, had an ultrasound yesterday. You can see the little feet and the little hands. You should come and see one day."
Abby smiled at Susan when they suddenly felt the baby kick.
That was it for Susan, the tears came back to her eyes and started to fall soon at the thought that a new life grew inside of her while the life of her best friend was in danger.
"Everything will be okay.", she said and pulled her friend into a hug.
***
When John came back home he brought the food into the kitchen before he went over to the living room. He saw Abby standing in front of the window, looking outside. He could feel that something happened while he was away.
"Hey.", he said from behind and started to massage her neck.
"Hey." She leaned her head back to kiss his cheek. "That's really good.", she smiled.
"I know.", he answered with a grin. "Did anything happen? You're so quiet."
"Susan was here. I told her everything and she cried."
"You don't want her to worry, hm?", he asked, understanding her feelings.
Abby nodded and turned around to hug him.
"But she's your friend, you have to understand her.", he said, wrapping his arms around her.
"I know, but it's still not easy to see her like that."
"I know."
While in his arms Abby could see the clock in the living room from the corner of her eye.
"John, we have to go now."
"Yeah, let me grab my keys and then we can go, okay?"
"Okay."
He knew it was way too early, but he wanted her to feel safe that they'd arrive in time.
