Author's Notes: Thank you for reading and for the reviews! : ) And sorry for the delay again! But I was a bit afraid to post this chapter … I hope you will still enjoy the ride! ; ) I at least enjoyed writing it! As you can probably tell since it's a bit long. ; )
Please let me know what you think! Thank you! : )
Chapter 6: "Maybe Baby"
"Abby? Hey, come over here.", he said while he grabbed her arm just when she was about to go past him the hundredth time.
She was pacing up and down the hallway for at least 10 minutes already. He understood that she was nervous. He was nervous himself. But he couldn't watch her like that any longer. And it started to make him even more nervous.
She didn't object and let him pull her into his arms.
"Everything is okay, believe me."
She looked up into his eyes. "I want to believe you. But everything seems the same. I am just scared. What if it's back? I wasn't feeling well again and you never know for sure."
He kissed her forehead and pulled her head back to his chest. "I know you are scared. And you really never know, I don't want to lie to you. But it's more than 3 years ago now that you got the bone marrow from your father. Statistically you are as good as healed.", he said, trying to reassure her and himself.
She looked up at him again when he mentioned her father.
"Sorry.", he said and kissed her cheek. He knew her feelings towards him. And he didn't feel any different about him.
"That's okay.", she answered and kissed him back.
It was more than 3 years ago now, but it still hurt her when her father was mentioned. She had to thank him for helping her, for probably saving her life. But the way he did it still made her heart ache.
When his letter arrived back then, they let Abby's doctor make the tests that were necessary and he was the perfect match. The possibility that her body would reject the transplant was minimal. The hospital called him and he came to County the next week.
Abby thought she'd meet him again, maybe have a second chance to talk to him.
But nothing. He arrived just in time for surgery and left as soon as he was allowed to go home. She didn't even see him. Before she had to get ready for surgery as well and afterwards she was too weak to go and see him.
But John didn't leave her side the whole time. Everything went perfectly, but he still wanted to be with her until she was feeling better again. So he didn't talk to him either.
He was not thrilled about meeting him anyway. He was still mad at him for what he did to his family.
There was a rumour that he called 3 weeks later to ask how Abby was, but that was all.
Abby didn't reject the bone marrow and recovered quickly from surgery. All the results from the routine checks she had to go through every 6 months were negative.
She fought and won, at least for now. It was a waiting game now. But the doctors as well as Carter and Abby were positive that she got through it and was healed. And she was feeling great, until 3 days ago.
"I know it's probably nothing, but I can't help it, the thought of going through everything again just scares me."
"I know, but try to be positive."
She nodded and let her head rest on his chest again.
Suddenly the door opened. "Mr and Mrs Carter?", a woman in a white lab coat more asked than said.
"Yes.", Carter said. They both took a deep breath before they followed the woman inside.
"You probably thought you'd meet Dr Warner."
Abby and Carter nodded. He was her doctor during the whole time.
"Well, he left the hospital 2 months ago, after your last routine check. I am Dr Brosers.", the friendly woman introduced herself.
Abby and Carter shook her hand and sat down next to each other, Carter reaching out for Abby's hand. It was really like a déjà vu, everything was the same. Except for the atmosphere. It was hard to describe, but this time something positive filled the room.
"Well, I don't want to make you wait any longer. You came here because you are not feeling well again."
Abby nodded, tightening the grip around Carter's hand.
"We took your blood and made the tests that were necessary." She opened an envelope and took out a piece of paper with lab results. It seemed to take forever until the doctor finished looking through the amount of numbers. "I have good news for you, your results are great, I can say for sure that it's not Leukaemia again."
Abby and Carter let out big sighs of relief. They both had tears of relief in their eyes. He brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed it gently. Abby looked at him, smiling brightly.
"But what was it then?", he finally asked. She was not feeling well after all, that had to have a reason.
Dr Brosers looked up from her papers and smiled at them. "Well, if everything goes fine, you will be parents in a few months."
Their jaws dropped down in disbelief. They were expecting everything today, but not that.
"I'm pregnant?", Abby finally brought out. She could hardly believe her ears. She was so scared that it might be Leukaemia again, she didn't think about that possibility at all, especially since she was already wrong once.
The doctor nodded.
"Is that for sure?", she asked, her voice hardly audible.
"Yes, it's for sure. But what I can tell you are only the results of the blood test. You should of course go down to OB to get an ultrasound and all that.", the doctor answered with a smile.
"Of course.", Abby answered, but her mind was already somewhere else.
Carter didn't take his eyes off Abby the whole time. He couldn't believe what the doctor just told him. He was so scared, expecting this day to be one of the worst in their lifes. And now that. He was so happy and excited, he had no words, even if he was able to speak. He never thought that this would turn out as one of the happiest day in his life. But he didn't dare to hope too much. He didn't know what Abby was thinking. Her face didn't give away what she was thinking about it.
"Well, you better go and take a look at your little baby now, don't you think?", Dr Brosers said and got up to shake their hands and say good bye. "There is nothing I can help you with from now on. Of course I want to see you in 4 months for your check up. But apart from that I can only say congratulations and all the best for you three."
"Thank you.", they both said, almost at the same time and shook hands with the doctor before they left the room.
Outside, Abby let herself fall back against the wall, sighing deeply.
Carter was looking at her, still not sure about what she thought. But he couldn't take it any longer. He had to know what was going on in her head.
"Abby, if you … if you don't …", he stuttered, walking towards her, taking her hand in his. He swore to himself that he'd be understanding if she didn't want the baby. He had no idea how he would ever be able to go on living if she didn't, but he didn't want to lose her. She was everything for him. And he'd try to convince her.
Abby snapped out of her trance. She looked at Carter and noticed that he was nervous and kind of worried.
"Hey.", she cut him short and put her hand on his cheek. "What the doctor just told us really shocked me. I didn't expect that at all." She was looking at him with a serious face. But then it lit up. "But … you have no idea how happy I am. 3 years ago I swore to myself that if I should ever be pregnant with our child, I wouldn't do anything to endanger that wonder."
He looked at her, hardly believing that he got her right.
She was looking at him, amused. "John, I will keep the baby. Our baby. I am so happy about it. I can't wait to be a real family with you."
His face lit up and a big grin appeared on his face. "Really?"
"Yes."
"And what if ..." He knew Abby's fears and just because she was willing to take the risk didn't mean that it wasn't there. He wanted her to be really okay with it. It didn't make sense if she only did it for him. He wanted her to want it as much as he did.
"Shhh" She put her finger in his lips to make him stop. "We've gone through so much in the last 3 years. I was near to death and it was a hard time for you and me. But you were always there for me, you never left my side. There still is that risk that the baby could be bipolar, but life is too short to miss the chances. And this is a huge chance. It's finally getting better for us. If there is a person in the world I feel I can take that risk with, it can only be you. I love you and I want that child with you. I know it will be perfect because it's you and me, our love. And we will love it like we love each other for better or worse. And, you wouldn't have given up anyway.", she added with a smile.
With that he grinned and pulled her into his arms and held her tightly. "You know me too well. But really, you are making me the happiest man on earth every day you are with me. But what you give me now is so … I don't have words for it. I am so happy Abby! I love you so much. And our baby.", he added happily, parting from their embrace only to put a hand protectively on her stomach.
"I am happy, too.", she said and kissed him while she put her hand over his. She never thought she'd be happy about being pregnant, but she was.
"I can't wait to know when you will be here, if you are a boy or a girl ...", he said towards her stomach, gently rubbing the spot where he thought the baby must be now.
"John.", she laughed, running her hands through his hair. "I don't know how far along I am, but surely not far enough that the baby can hear you.", she said, but secretly she loved it how caring he already was.
But she couldn't make him stop anyway. "You never know.", he said with a grin and continued whispering loving words to their unborn child.
"You should know that babies can't hear during the first weeks. Are you sure you have gone to med school?", she asked him with a smirk.
That brought his attention back to her. "I'm sure that I love you, both of you.", he said with a big smile and kissed her.
***
"Abby? Carter? What are you doing here?", Susan asked worriedly when he saw them come out of the elevator. She had a bad feeling that she knew where they were. Their eyes were teary, but their faces were happy. She didn't know what to think.
But no matter what it was, her eyes were filled with tears anyway.
"Susan, don't worry.", John said, putting his hand on Susan's shoulder. "Yes, we were upstairs, but everything is fine. Actually, everything is great.", he added with a grin.
Susan had a puzzled look on her face. She really didn't know what was going on.
John looked at Abby to get the approval to tell Susan the news, and he got it. They both didn't want to spread the news too wide already. They wanted to enjoy it on their own first. But to tell it their best friend was okay for both.
"Susan, we're pregnant!", he exclaimed, hugging Susan tightly.
"What? Really?", she asked, looking at Abby.
Abby just nodded before she hugged Susan, too.
"I am so happy for you! When are you due?" Susan was almost more excited than Carter and Abby. She remembered the time when she was pregnant herself, how happy she was. She could hardly believe that her best friends could finally be happy.
"We don't know yet, we only know that I am pregnant. We were just about to let an ultrasound be done. Maybe you could ..."
"I'd love to.", Susan answered and pulled her friends into a hug again.
***
Abby was lying on a gurney and Carter was sitting next to her.
Susan was putting the gel on Abby's stomach to do the ultrasound.
When they could see the baby on the monitor, all three were staring at it. Carter and Abby had tears in their eyes and held each others hand tightly. They could hardly believe that they saw their little child on that screen.
"Well, looks like you are ...", Susan tried to explain, but her friends didn't hear her. Their eyes were going forth and back between the screen and each others eyes. "Our baby.", was all they brought out, their voices cracking under their emotions.
"Hello? Earth to Mommy and Daddy.", Susan finally said, trying to bring them back to reality.
That made them finally look at her, eyes still dreamy, though.
"I said it looks like 9 weeks."
"9 weeks?", Abby asked surprised.
Susan nodded and Carter was smiling brightly. "So it will be here in less than 7 months."
He was happy that it was sooner than he expected, he couldn't wait to hold their baby in his arms. It was the same for Abby.
"Do you want to know the sex?"
Carter and Abby looked at each other and knew that the answer was clear.
"No, we want to wait and be surprised.", Carter answered for them.
"Okay.", Susan smiled at them. "I will leave you two, or better three, alone now. See you tomorrow, right? I hope you didn't forget Jason's birthday."
"How could we?", Abby smiled at her. "We'll be there. Thank you, Susan."
"You're welcome. I am really happy for you.", she said and left the room after she gave them both a picture of their child.
Carter took a paper and wiped the gel off Abby's skin and she got dressed before they hugged each other tightly and looked at their baby again. They could hardly take their eyes off the pictures. They wanted to stay like that forever, to never leave that exam room again and just be happy about being mother and father soon.
But suddenly they heard John's beeper.
"It's Weaver.", John said, disappointed. Abby didn't have to work, since she wasn't feeling good during the last few days. But John was on until 6 pm. Weaver only allowed him to go and see the doctor with Abby, but that was 2 hours ago. They completely forgot the time after they got the great news.
"You have to go?"
He nodded.
"Come home soon.", she said with a smile.
"I will.", he answered and kissed her before they both left the exam room.
***
When Abby came home, she lay down on the couch and closed her eyes. Her left hand held the ultrasound picture close to her heart while her right hand rested on her stomach.
She never thought that something could make her happier than to be with Carter. But to carry his baby made her even happier. To know that a part of him and herself was growing inside of her was a wonderful thought. She didn't know what changed her so much, maybe the love Carter showed her constantly over the years, but she was really looking forward to have that baby.
With that, she fell asleep.
***
When John came home he found Abby sleeping on the couch. He had to smile when he saw that Abby was holding the picture of their baby in her hand. He left his in his locker at work to have it there when he was not at home and wanted to look at it.
He had it in his pocket while he was working and looked at it in every free minute he had.
He could hardly wait to come home to be with Abby.
He bent down to kiss her forehead gently. That made her move slightly.
"Hey Abby.", he said and kissed her. "Hey baby.", he added and put his hand over hers on her stomach.
She smiled. "Hey, sorry, I fell asleep, I wanted to wait for you."
"Don't worry, you need your rest.", he smiled and picked her up to carry her over to the bed.
"Wanna lie down for a bit?"
She nodded. "But don't think you can carry me around for the next 7 months."
"We'll see."
"John!"
They were both laughing when he lay her down on the bed. He took off his shoes and lay down next to her, his head on her stomach.
"Abby?"
"Hmm?"
"You know what?"
"What?"
"I envy you."
"You envy me?", she laughed. "Why?"
"Because our baby grows inside of you.", he said and kissed her stomach. "You can be with her or him every minute of the day, you will know when it's awake, when it's sleeping. You won't miss the first time it will move. You are always close to it. But you are the only person I want the baby that close with. I know you will take good care of it and I will take good care of you."
His words touched her deeply. She could feel how much he loved her and their baby. She wiped her teary eyes before she reached down to run her fingers through his hair.
"You will be as close to the baby as I am. Maybe not physically, but it will know that it's Daddy loves it as much as it's Mommy. And believe me, you won't envy me anymore when I look fat and roll through the streets.", she said, but with a smile. She didn't really mean it. She didn't care what she'd look like when she was 9 months pregnant. Actually, she could hardly wait to show that she was carrying their baby.
"You won't look fat. You will look pregnant, that's not the same. You will be the most beautiful pregnant woman on earth. And even if you were fat, I'd still love you."
They were both just lying there for a while, enjoying each others presence, before Abby spoke again. "John?"
"Hmm?"
"I can't sleep."
"Why?", he asked worriedly, but not moving his head away from it's spot near the baby.
"Because you are lying with your head on my stomach?", she asked, amused by his innocent question.
He finally looked up at her. "Oh, sorry.", he said with a smile. "I just can't get enough of it."
"I know.", she answered while he lay down next to her, as close as possible.
They fell asleep soon. They needed some rest. Birthday parties for 3 year olds could be very exhausting.
***
"I'll answer the door.", Susan said to Luka when the doorbell rang while they were both standing in the kitchen.
"Abby, John! Hi!", she greeted them when she opened the door and hugged them. "It's great you could make it."
"How could we miss Jason's third birthday?", John said and smiled brightly.
"Where is he?", Abby asked.
"He's playing with his new toys in his room.", she smiled. "Jason, look who's here. Aunt Abby and uncle John.", she called out for her son.
They could immediately hear little footsteps come closer.
"There he is.", Abby said and bent down, her arms open to hug him. "Happy birthday little man." She scooped him up and kissed his cheek. "How are we today?"
"Great.", he said and wrapped his arms around Abby's neck. "Got looooads of new toys. Wanna see?", he exclaimed excitedly.
"Later baby.", Susan interrupted him. "Let's sit down and eat first and then you can show them all your new stuff, okay?"
"Okay."
"Uncle John!", he then exclaimed.
Abby gave him over to him.
"Hey, happy birthday! You're a big boy now."
Jason smiled and gave his uncle a big hug.
"Look what we have for you.", he said and Abby got out a little package from the bag they brought with them.
He was still in John's arms, but unwrapped it there impatiently.
"Ooh, a new car!", he said excitedly. "Thank you." He wrapped his arms around John's neck again before he wanted back to Abby, to hug her, too.
"Go and play with it now.", she said and put him back down on the floor.
As fast as the footsteps came nearer, as fast they heard them disappear.
"He's full of energy.", Carter laughed and put his arm around Abby.
"I know. But he's so much fun and I don't want to miss him ever.", Susan answered. "You will see yourself soon."
John and Abby just looked at each other, smiling.
"Where's Luka?", Abby then asked. "We've only seen two thirds of the family so far."
"He's in the kitchen.", Susan answered with a wink.
"He's cooking?", Carter asked.
Susan nodded.
"Good for us. I was afraid you'd cook."
"Funny, Carter.", Susan said and hit his arm playfully. "Let's see how he's holding up.", she added with a wink before they made their way to the kitchen.
"Hey Luka!", Carter greeted him. "Hmm, pizza!", he said with a grin and stole a piece of cheese from the table.
"John!", Abby said accusingly, but stole a bit herself, too. "Hey Luka.", she brought out, with the cheese in her mouth.
"Hey you two! But leave something for the pizza. It was Jason's wish for food for his birthday and I don't want to be you if he finds out that you ate all the cheese. You know, he is perfect at that puppy dog look already. It breaks your heart.", Luka said proudly. He loved talking about his little boy.
"I know that one.", Abby grinned. "My darling husband here is the master of puppy dog looks.", she said and kissed Carter.
"Don't tell me you don't like it.", John said with a playful pout.
"I do.", she answered quickly before she kissed him again, only more passionate this time. Carter willingly responded to the kiss until they had their arms around each other and kissed, forgetting all around them.
Susan walked over to Luka and they both watched them for a second.
"Do you think they forgot that we are here, too?", Susan asked Luka with a smile.
"I'm not sure.", he answered with a wink.
In that moment Jason stormed into the kitchen.
"Mommy! When do my friends come over?", he asked excitedly.
That made Carter and Abby jump, a little embarrassed when they saw Susan and Luka staring at them. They were glad that Jason was there to distract them.
"After dinner honey.", Susan said and stroked his head.
"Yay!", was all they heard before he disappeared again.
"That will be fun.", Susan sighed. "Seven 3 year old little boys and girls."
***
"I'm stuffed.", Abby said while she let herself fall onto the couch. "I shouldn't have eaten that much pizza. It will take less than 7 months before I roll around."
Carter sat down next to her. "That's not true.", he said and kissed her cheek. "Though, I can't wait for you to show." He patted her stomach. "I can't wait to feel the baby kick, to hold my ear against your belly to be close to our baby." With that, he put his head on her stomach.
"John, stop it. They will think we're crazy.", Abby said, laughing, looking at the kitchen door to see if Susan and Luka could see them. They were in the kitchen, cleaning the mess Jason left. He was a very "creative" eater.
"So? What's wrong with talking to our baby?", he said with a smile and started to mumble something Abby couldn't understand against her shirt.
Abby smiled and put her hand on Carter's head. He was really the cutest guy on earth.
It didn't take long before they could hear Jason's footsteps again.
He stopped at the couch and looked at John, still with his head at Abby's stomach.
"Aunt Abby, what's uncle John doing there?", he asked curiously and came a little closer.
Abby laughed. "Uncle John is just being a little silly."
That made Jason grin.
"Hey, I've heard that!", John said and lifted his head up to look at Jason. "I am not silly, I am talking to the baby.", he added with a smile.
"Baby?", Jason asked excitedly.
"Yeah, the baby. It's in here." He pointed at Abby's stomach.
Jason came closer and took a look at the spot John showed him.
"Nooooo! There is not enough room for a baby."
John and Abby looked at each other and smiled before John leant over to whisper something into Abby's ear. "They obviously didn't have the birds and the bees talk with him yet."
That made them both giggle before John turned his attention back to Jason.
"You know, in the beginning, babies are very tiny. And our baby is only 9 weeks old. It's only that big.", he said and showed Jason how tiny with his fingers.
Jason was staring at him. He found it really interesting.
"But soon it will grow and aunt Abby will have a cute round belly. And when it's big enough the baby will come out."
"Wanna talk to the baby, too!", Jason exclaimed, jumping up and down in excitement.
John sat him down on his lap to let him put his ear on Abby's stomach.
"Hello baby.", he said and stroked the spot next to his ear, listening intently.
After a while he looked back up at John. "Uncle John?"
"Hmm."
"Does the baby answer you? Because I can't hear a thing."
That made Carter and Abby smile again.
"Maybe the baby is sleeping.", Abby quickly answered, grinning at Carter.
Jason bent down back to Abby's stomach. "Night baby.", he said and smiled at Carter and Abby when Susan entered the living room, followed by Luka.
Jason jumped down from John's lap and ran towards his mother.
"Mommy! Guess what! Uncle John is silly and aunt Abby has a tiny baby in her stomach. But it will grow and when it's big enough it will come out. I talked to the baby, but it didn't answer, it's sleeping.", he told Susan, proud of what he had just learned.
She smiled at him and scooped him up into her arms while Luka looked at them, confused.
"I know that uncle John is silly.", Luka started with a playful grin. "But the baby in aunt Abby's stomach is news to me.", he added, looking around, waiting for an explanation.
"Sorry.", Susan said and kissed Luka's cheek. "I know it since yesterday. But I thought they should tell you themselves."
They were both looking at Carter and Abby now.
"Yeah, we're pregnant.", Carter said proudly and put his arm around Abby. "9 weeks. We found out yesterday."
A smile appeared on Luka's face. "That's great, you'll love it! Congratulations!", he said and put his arm around Susan, kissing the top of Jason's head.
***
"… and I got a new car from my aunt Abby and my uncle John.", Jason told his friends, looking at the couple sitting on the couch. "And we had pizza and …"
"Jason is so cute.", Abby said, looking at him and his bunch of friends. Susan and Luka were sitting among the kids, listening to their son and his friends.
"Yeah, I can't wait to celebrate our baby's third birthday.", he said with a smile and kissed Abby's cheek.
"Me neither.", she answered and kissed him back.
"I can't wait to have that little family with you. The baby will make it complete. Before the others follow of course."
"Of course.", she said, teasing him. "But lets have this one first before you plan the football team, okay?"
"I love you and the baby so much."
"I love you and the baby, too."
