/b This is kind of obligatory, I guess. I don't own Chris Chambers or Gordie Lachance or any other characters that you may recognize in this story. So far, I only own Jessica Lisbon and Elizabeth Hart. So don't sue. Because I can't afford a lawyer and Syrian lawyers are... not so good. No offence to any Syrian lawyers.

Gordie Lachance slumped down at the lunch table with a huge sigh. God, he hated Mondays. He hated school. He hated French class. He hated French class with a passion.

"Gordie!"

Gordie glanced up and his grouchy face melted into a smile at the familiar sight of the tiny girl with riotous blue-black curls bounding towards him. "Hey, Jess."

Jessica Lisbon collapsed into the seat next to him. "You look like someone just stole your favourite chipmunk out of the zoo and sold it to you in a burger." She paused. "Hee! Is that what happened?"

Gordie wrinkled his nose at her. Jessica was one of his best friends in the world. She had been dating Gordie's best friend Chris Chambers for over three years now, and Gordie adored her. But she came out with some pretty damned strange expressions sometimes.

"No, Jess," Gordie answered patiently. "For one thing, I don't even like chipmunks and I will never be able to comprehend your obsession with them. For another... Well, I don't think I need another reason why me eating my favourite chipmunk would be causing me such emotional stress."

"Oh," Jessica said as she reached across him to snatch one of his cookies. "Then what is it?"

Gordie let out a dramatic sigh. "French class."

"Not again," Jessica said crossly. "That's all you ever complain about anymore. You know I'll help you out with your work. Your problem with French class is that it's the only class in the whole universe that you've ever had problems with."

"That's fine for you to say," Gordie grumbled. "You are French. You speak French at home, for God's sake. You don't have to take this... this hour of HELL that plagues me every other day. Jess, I'm going insane, I swear. Today the teacher lady asked me a question and I didn't know the answer and I sat there in total silence for like a year, until she yelled at me and told me that the answer was la poupŽe. What the hell is a poupee? Why would I ever need one? Jess?"

Gordie looked up to see that Jessica wasn't even at the table anymore. He looked around wildly, concerned about her wellbeing. Jessica could get into more trouble in two seconds than Gordie had ever gotten in in the whole of his sixteen years; he vividly remembered her disappearing out of her seat at the movies and the next time he'd seen her, she'd been sitting between two security guards, waiting for the police to arrive. She'd tried to 'borrow', as she put it, a movie poster for Breakfast At Tiffany's- Jessica's favourite movie of all time- and 'hadn't realised' that they weren't available for borrowing. But to Gordie's relief and half-disappointment, she had simply scampered to greet her boyfriend Chris as he approached the table. The couple sat down in a disgustingly snuggly way.

"Hey," Chris greeted Gordie as he reached across to steal a cookie. "Why do you look like someone just ran your pet chipmunk over?"

Gordie glared at him. "You have been spending way too much time around your midget of a girlfriend."

"I am not a midget!" Jessica said indignantly. "I'm just not a giant, like you. How tall are you, anyway, nine feet? Besides you'll shrink as you get older. I'll probably get taller. Ha!"

Gordie didn't even want to think about the logic that had led Jessica to that conclusion. "Jess, what's une poupŽe?"

"A what?" Chris asked as Jessica leaned across him to rearrange Gordie's hair. "Is that French? Why didn't you just take Spanish?"

"Shut up," Gordie told him. "Jess! Stop playing with my hair and tell me why the French teacher told me that my favourite toy as a child was probably une poupŽe"

"Une poupŽe is a doll," Jessica informed him, snickering. "Why she told you that is probably due to the aura of homosexuality you project. Ow! Chris, Gordie kicked me. Please defend my honour in an appropriately violent way."

"I can't beat Gordie up," Chris said. "I'd probably kill him with my supreme manly strength and muscles. Gordie, you'd probably look less gay if you cut your hair, you wet end."

"Go fuck a tree," Gordie told him. "My hair hasn't changed since I was twelve. And I haven't been short of girls throwing themselves at me."

"You mean throwing themselves in front of you, to defend you from Ace and Eyeball," Chris snickered. "Jessie, remember that time you had to ask Ace and Billy to leave Gordie alone because he was too busy crying?"

"He wasn't crying," Jessica told her boyfriend, in an attempt to prove Gordie's masculinity. "His eyes were watering because your maniac brother punched him in the stomach when he tried to run away."

Chris just laughed again, while Gordie went over the incident in his head and wished he could say something to contradict Jessica. Maybe he should just change the subject.

"Jessica?"

"Yes, Gordie?"

"Change the subject."

"Okay!" Jessica thought. "Oh, there's a new girl. She sits next to me in my English class."

"What a great first impression she must have gotten of Castle Rock," Chris muttered, ruffling his girlfriend's hair. "She probably thinks we're all psychopaths who draw chipmunks on everything."

"I wish," Jessica said regretfully. "She's nice. Oh, there she is."

Gordie and Chris turned around to check out the new girl. Chris turned back to Jessica after a quick glance, but Gordie stared.

"Elizabeth!" Jessica called. "Don't sit next to those girls, they are heavily diseased and oozing with pus."

Chris snickered as the new girl giggled and the table of Popular-But-Bitchy Cheerleaders glared at his girlfriend.

"Come sit here," Jessica invited the new girl, sending a cheerful smile at the PBBCs.

The girl walked over and sat down hesitantly next to Jessica.

"Guys, this is Elizabeth Hart," Jessica said. "She moved here from England! She's never seen a chipmunk in real life, but she would like to. She's 15. She lives near the View, only she's not a View-ite, because she's nice and has no visible signs of being in the Hitler Youth or anything. Liz, this is my boyfriend Chris. He has a second name, but he generally goes by Chris The Love God. And this is Gordie Lachance. He does not go by Gordie The Love God, despite his feverent hopes."

"Hi," Chris said, giving Elizabeth a friendly smile. "When did you move here?"

Gordie barely heard Elizabeth's answer, because he could hardly take his eyes off her. She was almost the same height as him, with straight blonde hair and sparkling green eyes.

"Last week," Elizabeth said, returning Chris's smile. "My family lived here when I was small, but we moved to London when I was four. We're back in our old house now."

Gordie's stomach had gone fluttery with the sounds of her accent. "Hi," he blurted out.

Elizabeth turned to him, smiling. "Hi!"

Gordie grinned foolishly at her, mesmerized by the way the light reflected off her eyes. He suddenly noticed the silence and the way Elizabeth's eyebrows were raised, as if she was expecting him to say something. Chris and Jessica were looking at him the same way. Oh, God! Say something, Lachance, say something!

"I like to swim," he said eventually. Jessica looked relieved, as though that was what she herself would have said, while Chris looked amused and Elizabeth looked confused.

"Cool," she said eventually, giving him another smile. "I like to swim too. Where do you swim around here?"

Gordie was speechless. At least, he had words in his head- but if they were anything like 'I like to swim,' he would rather remain silent forever.

"I swim in my bathtub," Jessica offered, seeing that Gordie wasn't planning to speak anytime soon.

"Yeah," Chris put in, hoping to detract attention from his best friend's sudden catatonia. "I swim in bathtubs, lakes, uh... oceans..."

"Toliets," Jessica suggested. "Sinks, maybe."

"Right," Chris agreed. "All those places. Um, Gordie? Gordie. Your elbow is in my rice."

Gordie wished he was dead.

"Okay!" Jessica said eventually. "Um, Liz, do you want to go to the office and see if your schedule is done yet?"

"Sure," Elizabeth agreed, looking simultaneously bewildered and hysterical.

"Great," Jessica beamed. "I need a smoke, too, so if we end up outside instead of in the office... Well, that's where we'll be. See you two later."

"Bye," Chris said, leaning back and accepting a kiss on the forehead from Jessica before she dragged Elizabeth out of the room. Even when the two had disappeared from sight, Chris could still hear his girlfriend babbling excitedly about something, even if he couldn't make out the exact words. Smirking, he turned back to Gordie.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" Gordie exploded, slamming his hands down on the tabletop. "I'm Gordie Lachance! I'm relatively smooth! I don't fall into a coma when a pretty girl is near me!"

"I don't know, man," Chris murmured, obviously wondering the same thing. "Maybe you just really like her."

"I don't even KNOW her!" Gordie exclaimed. "God, I'm a wet end. Teddy was right, all these years." He moaned and buried his head in his hands. "Did I tell her that... that I liked to swim?"

"That was pretty much all you told her," Chris agreed. "Look, don't worry, Gordo. She and Jessie will become good friends then you'll see her all the time."

Gordie sighed and shook his head. "Oh, man. How can I ever live down the impression I just made, Chris? A swimming zombie. That's... That's like something Jessica would talk about in an oral report. In fact, she did talk about some kind of swimming zombie in her last oral report. I'm straight out of Jessica's warped imagination."

Chris snickered. "Yeah, I remember when she did that." Seeing Gordie's mournful expression, he turned serious. "It's gonna be okay, Gordie. When you next see her, you can dazzle her with all your charm and wit. She'll forget about the swimming zombie thing." He hesitated. "Maybe."

Gordie closed his eyes. "Oh, God."

/b What do you guys think? I'm not really sure about if, so i would definitely appreciate some reviews :) Um, no flames? Please? But if you really feel the need to flame, who am I to restrict you, right? So... Is it okay? Please help me out here! Thank you! :)