Chapter 3
Still by Amy25 and Kermy. We still live in a box and own nothing. Except for a slinky I found in the gutter. People still spit on us. Donations are welcome, but reviews are preferred.
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The next morning, The Fellowship awoke with the rising sun. The hobbits were the first to notice the suffocating odor.
"What is that God-awful stench?!" Merry managed to say while gagging.
"I've actually lost my appetite!" groaned Pippin "Now what do we do?"
Merry's eyes widen, "I don't know Pip. I just don't know."
Gandalf took a big whiff of it and proceeded to hurl...on Gimli. Gandalf didn't care much as Gimli jumped off the cliff (Ya, a cliff in the forest...you got a problem with that?) into the river below.
Boromir started laughing at the sight, and Gandalf smacked him upside the head with his cane just because he could.
"What *is* that?!" Boromir demanded whipping his head around.
Gandalf looked up and whistled innocently.
"It smells like decaying compost," said Frodo.
"That...and crap," added Sam.
Gandalf remembered what happened the night before and realized what it was.
Aragorn stepped out of the tent and the gang was hit with an overwhelming stink.
Legolas couldn't bear the thought (or the smell) of his favorite fragrance being wasted resulting in the horrid mixture of perfection and, you guessed it...crap.
"I can't take it anymore!" cried Boromir. He picked Aragorn up over his head and chunked him off the cliff into the ravine.
"Ahhhhhhh, dumb mother-" SPLASH.
The whole group sighed, but a single, silent tear fell down Legolas's exquisite cheek as he mourned his empty bottle of Fern Fantasy by Ralph Lauren. It was as empty as his heart felt. 'All for nothing', he thought. (A/N- How angsty! lol! )
The remaining members of the Fellowship peeked over the side of the cliff to make sure that he was okay. They waited for him to emerge from the water, but he never did. They all panicked and ran down to rescue him.
Finally, they arrived at bank to see Gimli washed up, not breathing. One by one, they all rushed past him to save the Future King of Gondor. Down the river, they found Aragorn marveling at the cleanliness of his skin.
"I look 20 years younger! Wow! Thanks river water!" he proclaimed.
"Yes, my friend, you do look great," complemented Legolas. "The dirt that once corrupted your kingly face is now gone."
"And you don't reek anymore either!" added Pippin.
Everyone laughed in that electronic sit-com kind of a way.
Gandalf sighed in relief and said, "Now that we're all together again, we can finally continue on our long and arduous journey."
"And my hair is still a portrait of perfection," said Legolas.
Everyone nodded in agreement.
So they traveled on towards their perilous destination of Mordor. After about four or five hours of walking, Sam noticed, "Hey, where's Gimli?"
"Oh, I think I saw him somewhere by the river er something," suggested Aragorn.
Gandalf stopped dead in his tracks in alarm. Then he thought about it and shrugged. "Eh, screw him."
They continued on.
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Review! Review my children... or people... whatever... More to come in later chapters. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Still by Amy25 and Kermy. We still live in a box and own nothing. Except for a slinky I found in the gutter. People still spit on us. Donations are welcome, but reviews are preferred.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The next morning, The Fellowship awoke with the rising sun. The hobbits were the first to notice the suffocating odor.
"What is that God-awful stench?!" Merry managed to say while gagging.
"I've actually lost my appetite!" groaned Pippin "Now what do we do?"
Merry's eyes widen, "I don't know Pip. I just don't know."
Gandalf took a big whiff of it and proceeded to hurl...on Gimli. Gandalf didn't care much as Gimli jumped off the cliff (Ya, a cliff in the forest...you got a problem with that?) into the river below.
Boromir started laughing at the sight, and Gandalf smacked him upside the head with his cane just because he could.
"What *is* that?!" Boromir demanded whipping his head around.
Gandalf looked up and whistled innocently.
"It smells like decaying compost," said Frodo.
"That...and crap," added Sam.
Gandalf remembered what happened the night before and realized what it was.
Aragorn stepped out of the tent and the gang was hit with an overwhelming stink.
Legolas couldn't bear the thought (or the smell) of his favorite fragrance being wasted resulting in the horrid mixture of perfection and, you guessed it...crap.
"I can't take it anymore!" cried Boromir. He picked Aragorn up over his head and chunked him off the cliff into the ravine.
"Ahhhhhhh, dumb mother-" SPLASH.
The whole group sighed, but a single, silent tear fell down Legolas's exquisite cheek as he mourned his empty bottle of Fern Fantasy by Ralph Lauren. It was as empty as his heart felt. 'All for nothing', he thought. (A/N- How angsty! lol! )
The remaining members of the Fellowship peeked over the side of the cliff to make sure that he was okay. They waited for him to emerge from the water, but he never did. They all panicked and ran down to rescue him.
Finally, they arrived at bank to see Gimli washed up, not breathing. One by one, they all rushed past him to save the Future King of Gondor. Down the river, they found Aragorn marveling at the cleanliness of his skin.
"I look 20 years younger! Wow! Thanks river water!" he proclaimed.
"Yes, my friend, you do look great," complemented Legolas. "The dirt that once corrupted your kingly face is now gone."
"And you don't reek anymore either!" added Pippin.
Everyone laughed in that electronic sit-com kind of a way.
Gandalf sighed in relief and said, "Now that we're all together again, we can finally continue on our long and arduous journey."
"And my hair is still a portrait of perfection," said Legolas.
Everyone nodded in agreement.
So they traveled on towards their perilous destination of Mordor. After about four or five hours of walking, Sam noticed, "Hey, where's Gimli?"
"Oh, I think I saw him somewhere by the river er something," suggested Aragorn.
Gandalf stopped dead in his tracks in alarm. Then he thought about it and shrugged. "Eh, screw him."
They continued on.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Review! Review my children... or people... whatever... More to come in later chapters. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
