Chapter 4

By Amy25 and Kermy.

Good news...we found a bigger box! I think it's a refrigerator box. But we still own nothing. Bad news... I lost my slinky. :sob: I think that stray cat stole it. Damn you smelly cat! Um, anyway...

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With Gandalf as their leader, The Fellowship traveled extremely slowly. I mean geez, the guy is like 200 years old! He's has to make a pit-stop for his Depends at a Middle Earth McDonald's.

Boromir wasn't helping. He was restless and starting to loose his mind.

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" screamed Boromir giddily as he flung his arms up in the air waving them, and skipped in circles around the Fellowship.

Legolas was on his last nerve.

"Please, Aragorn, just one arrow! That's all I want! Right in the ass. That will shut him up, my friend." said Legolas desperately, gripping his bow tightly.

Aragorn held up his hand, "No, my friend, be patient. He will die soon enough. At the end of this movie, in fact."

Legolas nodded knowingly.

Gandalf came out of the bathroom, and they moved on.

"I'm hungry," complained Merry.

"I miss Gimli's beard food," declared Pippin.

Sam frowned in disgust, "That's just nasty." Then he checked out Frodo's ass. Sam catches up with *his* Mr. Frodo.

"Whatever you say, Sam," said Pippin, rolling his eyes.

"Hullo!" greeted Sam.

"Oh, hi Sam. How are you doing today?"

"Great, Mr. Frodo! Just fabulous! Absolutely fantastic!"

"That's nice, Sam," Frodo said as he looked around awkwardly.

Boromir had settled down a little, but he was still loosing it. He had somehow managed to slip the One Ring from Frodo's pocket. He left the trail and the others to proclaim to all the woodland creatures, "It is a gift!" He spun around so all the animals could see.

As he was displaying the One Ring to random things in the woods, a bird swooped down and snatched the Ring from his hand.

Boromir stood there stunned for a second and looked around to see if anyone saw.

"Oh, shit. I'd better join the rest of the group," Boromir told a caterpillar on a leaf and scurried back to the Fellowship which was now pointless, but only he (and the caterpillar) knew that.

Legolas and Aragorn were walking last in the line. Legolas had finally gotten rid of Boromir, but now his friend, Aragorn, wouldn't shut up.

"You know Legolas, this whole being clean thing is vastly overrated. Without my thick layer of dirt and grime, I'm much more vulnerable to insects." He slapped at a mosquito. "But for once, my friend, I smell better than they do. Ha ha!"

Legolas just rolled his eyes and said, "Well, I hope your happy. I used my whole bottle of Fern Fantasy (sniff) on you, my friend. Bah!"

"What the hell? Bah?" asked Aragorn.

"For you information, it's *Elvish*, okay!" yelled Legolas on the verge of tears and ran swiftly to walk with Gandalf.

"Whatever...my friend," muttered Aragorn.

All of a sudden, the face of a deranged psychopath popped out a nearby bush.

"Peek-A-Boooooooooooo!" yelled Boromir.

"Ack!" said Aragorn in terror, falling over backwards. "Stay away! I have a sword!" He takes it out and waves it wildly.

"You control the fates of us all, little one," said Boromir insanely to Aragorn, climbing out of the bush.

"Dammit Boromir, it's just you!" exclaimed Aragorn angrily, standing and dusting himself off.

"Let me bathe you!" demanded Boromir with a crazed look in his eye.

"Ummmm...maybe later," said Aragorn, then sprinted back to the group.

The Fellowship was finally at the wood's edge. Gandalf lead them out, each of them secretly hoping that the journey would take a turn for the better. Except for Boromir who was now talking in gibberish.

Frodo looked around at the new scenery. "Now what?"

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Review, blah blah BAH... it's Elvish, okay?! It means review. Ha ha!