Chapter 5

By Amy25 and Kermy.

Our box broke sadly the other night when it rained. Cardboard isn't that sturdy. :( We killed that darn cat that took our slinky. We're so clever! The cat is dead, but still no slinky. On the plus side, we wrote another chapter! Here you go...

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"This is quite a predicament. Which path shall we choose, Gandalf?" Merry asked.

"How should I know?" said Gandalf. "Go eat something."

"Good idea," said Pippin as they run off in search of nourishment.

The whole gang was arguing the matter when Gandalf finally said, "Let the Ringbearer decide!"

Boromir snickered in the background.

"What's so funny, Boromir?" questioned Legolas.

"Ooguli booguli wa!" he answered cross-eyed.

"Oh."

"Anyway," Gandalf continued, turning to Frodo, "what path shall we take?"

"We shall go through the mines," Frodo concluded.

"Nah," said Gandalf. "I'm not exactly in a mine kind of mood. You know, death, destruction, Orcs...not my thing."

Sam pointed out a sign that says 'Safe passage for Fellowship this way.' "How bout that a-way?" he suggested.

"Oh, perfect!" cried Aragorn leading the way.

"Putalla maddoo," warned Boromir.

"I agree, Boromir. It could be a trap," said Frodo reluctantly.

"What could possibly go wrong?" stated Aragorn already walking down the

path.

They all followed, one by one.

Boromir was in the very back, of course, saying random gibberish phrases. Mushoono!" he yelled as he picked up Frodo and carried him off with Sam running as fast as he could after them.

"Come back, bitch!" demanded Sam, "Put him down!"

Meanwhile, Frodo was petrified, "Save me, Sam! Save me!"

Sam got close enough to tackle his calves and make the 200 pound man fall, dropping Frodo in the dirt.

Boromir had hit his head on a rock and knocked himself unconscious, so he didn't get up.

Sam hurried over to Frodo's side. "Are you okay? Do you need mouth-to-mouth? I'll do it!" he said grabbing Frodo's shoulder.

"I'm sure you would, Sam, but I can breathe."

Sam helped Frodo up, thoroughly disappointed. They headed back to the group leaving Boromir cold and unmoving. No one noticed there previous absence as they quietly rejoined the others at the back of the line.

Legolas ran up to the front of the line where Gandalf and Aragorn were now leading.

"My elf senses are tingling again!" said Legolas with a surprised look on his face.

"Ewww! That's gross, my friend," stated Aragorn.

"Oh, grow up!" said Gandalf. "What is it, Lego?"

All of a sudden Gimli flew out a tree and yelling, "Nobody tosses a dwarf!" He landed on Gandalf.

"Oh, I mean, you left me to die, you bastards! I was recessitated by a squirrel! A FRIGGIN' SQUIRREL!" yelled Gimli.

"Oops, I crapped my pants! Dammit Gimli, you stupid shit! Get off me so I can change my Depends...again!" said Gandalf pushing off the fat dwarf.

"Aw Hell! Everything on this stupid journey is going wrong! And where is that lunatic, Boromir?!" snapped Aragorn.

"At least my hair is still shiny and smooth!" Legolas reminded.

They all nodded in agreement, even Gimli.

Merry and Pippin were frustrated because they didn't find anything edible on their pilgrimage so they resorted to gnawing on sticks.

"I sure wish we had more than sticks to eat, Pip!" said Merry.

"I haven't had meat in days. Well, not unless you count that chipmunk," replied Pippin. "Splinter!"

Legolas heard their little conversation and chimed in, "Do you want me to take my Elven-made bow and use my perfect aim to kill that bird for you?"

"Hell yeah!" answered Merry with enthusiasm.

Legolas killed the bird flawlessly with his heightened skills, and Sam retrieved it. He quickly ripped the feathers off with a sick glint in his eye and an evil laugh, then cooked it in his trusty frying pan.

After it was done, Sam cut the bird open and discovered...

"Hey Mista Frodo, come take a look at this!" called Sam.

"What is it, Sam?" Frodo asked in immediate concern. "Wait a minute."

Frodo patted all his pockets looking for something.

"Is that?..." asked Sam.



"Yes, it is! And I bet I know who did it!" exclaimed Frodo.

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Hmmm.... What could it be and who could have done it? Find out in Chapter 6! REVIEW!