It's so hard to be a teen-mutant-superhero
By: Umbravulpes
Disclaimer: Why do I do this? (Heh. Do do do do...)
Authors Note: Right... Had to cut the last scene short cause of writer's block. Honestly, someone make a pill for it. The plot (or the moose that is disguised as one) is getting harder for me to plan. But I think I'll speed a few things up just for the heck of it.
SCENE 5 (party continuum, that's a cool word)
KURT:
Hey Scott have you seen Rogue anywhere?
SCOTT:
I think I saw her by the punch.
(We see ROGUE drowning her sorrows)
KURT:
Oh nein. I hope zat no one has put any roofies in it zis time.
SCOTT:
If I ever find that fiend who soiled the punch...
KURT:
That... sounded kind of vrong...
SCOTT:
The precious punch must protected! I shall stand guard, in a heroic fashion.
(SCOTT goes to stand guard at the punchbowl)
KURT:
Vhy me? I'm too cute to have to take zis crap.
(A big lump of slime hits KURT in the head)
KURT:
Todd! Vill you stop spitting on me?!
TODD:
What? A toad's gotta have a hobby, yo.
KURT:
Aww dammit! It'll take so long to vash zis off! Do you have any idea how much shampoo I allready use?
TODD:
Oh lah-di-dah! Someone has shampoo! What is shampoo?
(Meanwhile, DUNCAN is dancing like an idiot, while JEAN just stands there looking humiliated)
JEAN:
Maybe. Just maybe, in some twisted way Rogue was right... I need someone else. Someone with brains and good looks. Someone who is manly and determined, yet sensitive and caring. Someone-
DUNCAN:
Come on babe, dance with me!
JEAN:
No thanks. I think I hurt my spleen this afternoon.
DUNCAN:
But babe...
JEAN:
Duncan.
DUNCAN:
Yeah babe?
JEAN:
Quit calling me babe.
DUNCAN:
But why babe?
JEAN:
Duncan, be honest, do you remember my name?
DUNCAN:
Uuh... Redhead?
JEAN:
That's it!
*WITHOUT YOU (My Fair Lady)*
*JEAN*
What a fool I was!
What a dominated fool!
To think you were the earth and sky.
What a fool I was!
What an addlepated fool!
What a mutton headed dolt was I!
No, my reverberating friend,
You are not the beginning and the end!
There'll be spring ev'ry year without you.
Bayville still will be here without you.
There'll be fruit on the tree;
And a shore by the sea;
There'll be Starbucks coffee without you.
Art and music will thrive without you.
Somehow kids will survive without you.
And there still will be rain on some plain down in Spain,
Even that will remain without you.
I can do without you.
You, dear friend, who plays so well,
You can go to Hartford, Heresford and Hampshire.
They can still rule the land without you.
Capitol Hill will stand without you.
And without much ado
We can all muddle through without you.
Without your pulling it, the tide comes in;
Without your twirling it, the earth can spin.
Without your pushing them, the clouds roll by.
If they can do without you, ducky, so can I!
I shall not feel alone without you.
I can stand on my own without you.
So go back in your shell,
I can do bloody well without you!
DUNCAN:
Duh... What?
JEAN:
I'm breaking up with you!
DUNCAN:
Duh... (Yep, the guy's Ivy League material)
JEAN:
Wow. I'm single. NO! I can't be single! Oh where will I find the perfect man?
(JEAN sees SCOTT standing valiantly by the punchbolw, singing)
*THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM (Man of LaMancha)*
*SCOTT*
To dream ... the impossible dream ...
To fight ... the unbeatable foe ...
To bear ... with unbearable sorrow ...
To run ... where the brave dare not go ...
To right ... the unrightable wrong ...
To love ... pure and chaste from afar ...
To try ... when your arms are too weary ...
To reach ... the unreachable star ...
This is my quest, to follow that star ...
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far ...
To fight for the right, without question or pause ...
To be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause ...
And I know if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest,
That my heart will lie will lie peaceful and calm,
when I'm laid to my rest ...
And the world will be better for this:
That one man, scorned and covered with scars,
Still strove, with his last ounce of courage,
To reach ... the unreachable star ...
(SCOTT takes a heroic pose)
(At the dance floor)
KITTY:
(blisfull sigh) This is like so totally perfect.
(LANCE is still staring at KITTYS costume)
KITTY:
I wish we could like do this more often.
LANCE:
Yeah, really often...
KITTY:
Do you think we could make it work? I mean like...
*SUN AND MOON (Miss Saigon)*
*KITTY*
you are sunlight and I moon
joined by the gods of fortune
midnight and high noon
sharing the sky
we have been blessed, you and I
*LANCE*
you are here like a mystery
I'm from a world that's so different
from all that you are
how in the light of one night
did we come so far?
*KITTY*
outside day starts to dawn
*LANCE*
your moon still floats on high
*KITTY*
the birds awake
*LANCE*
the stars shine too
*KITTY*
my hands still shake
*LANCE*
I reach for you
*BOTH*
and we meet in the sky!
*KITTY*
you are sunlight and I moon
joined here
bright'ning the sky
with the flame
of love
*BOTH*
made of
sunlight
moonlight
(KITTY and LANCE kiss. Doves fly. Fireworks go off. Crowds cheer. Angels sing. Flowers bloom... the usual)
(By the punchbolw)
KURT:
Scott! Todd spit in my hair and I need sugar!
SCOTT:
Kurt, don't be so selfish. There are more important things at hand. We must provide protection for the crucial punch.
JEAN:
Oh Scott, look! Kitty and Lance are making out, isn't that romantic?
ROGUE:
If I wasn't such a unique rebel, I would be making out.
KURT:
Since vhen have you been a unique rebel?
JEAN:
Since Gabriel got a hole and deflated.
KURT:
Oh.
JEAN:
Scott, you can stop guarding the punch, the bowl's been empty for fifteen minutes.
SCOTT:
What!? Some terrible villian must have stolen all the punch!
ROGUE:
No. Actually I drank it all. I feel strange.
JEAN:
I think we should leave. Before Rogue pukes, Kurt starts crying for sugar and Kitty and Lance suck eachothers faces off.
SCOTT:
Onward fellows! Let us journey in my red car to the Mansion!
KURT:
Kitty! Get your tongue out of zat guys stomach! Ve're going home!
(And so our heroic guintet leaves the party)
Authors Note: Now, wasn't that... I can't even find the right words for what that was. Next up, is the aftermath of the party.
Disclaimer: Why do I do this? (Heh. Do do do do...)
Authors Note: Right... Had to cut the last scene short cause of writer's block. Honestly, someone make a pill for it. The plot (or the moose that is disguised as one) is getting harder for me to plan. But I think I'll speed a few things up just for the heck of it.
SCENE 5 (party continuum, that's a cool word)
KURT:
Hey Scott have you seen Rogue anywhere?
SCOTT:
I think I saw her by the punch.
(We see ROGUE drowning her sorrows)
KURT:
Oh nein. I hope zat no one has put any roofies in it zis time.
SCOTT:
If I ever find that fiend who soiled the punch...
KURT:
That... sounded kind of vrong...
SCOTT:
The precious punch must protected! I shall stand guard, in a heroic fashion.
(SCOTT goes to stand guard at the punchbowl)
KURT:
Vhy me? I'm too cute to have to take zis crap.
(A big lump of slime hits KURT in the head)
KURT:
Todd! Vill you stop spitting on me?!
TODD:
What? A toad's gotta have a hobby, yo.
KURT:
Aww dammit! It'll take so long to vash zis off! Do you have any idea how much shampoo I allready use?
TODD:
Oh lah-di-dah! Someone has shampoo! What is shampoo?
(Meanwhile, DUNCAN is dancing like an idiot, while JEAN just stands there looking humiliated)
JEAN:
Maybe. Just maybe, in some twisted way Rogue was right... I need someone else. Someone with brains and good looks. Someone who is manly and determined, yet sensitive and caring. Someone-
DUNCAN:
Come on babe, dance with me!
JEAN:
No thanks. I think I hurt my spleen this afternoon.
DUNCAN:
But babe...
JEAN:
Duncan.
DUNCAN:
Yeah babe?
JEAN:
Quit calling me babe.
DUNCAN:
But why babe?
JEAN:
Duncan, be honest, do you remember my name?
DUNCAN:
Uuh... Redhead?
JEAN:
That's it!
*WITHOUT YOU (My Fair Lady)*
*JEAN*
What a fool I was!
What a dominated fool!
To think you were the earth and sky.
What a fool I was!
What an addlepated fool!
What a mutton headed dolt was I!
No, my reverberating friend,
You are not the beginning and the end!
There'll be spring ev'ry year without you.
Bayville still will be here without you.
There'll be fruit on the tree;
And a shore by the sea;
There'll be Starbucks coffee without you.
Art and music will thrive without you.
Somehow kids will survive without you.
And there still will be rain on some plain down in Spain,
Even that will remain without you.
I can do without you.
You, dear friend, who plays so well,
You can go to Hartford, Heresford and Hampshire.
They can still rule the land without you.
Capitol Hill will stand without you.
And without much ado
We can all muddle through without you.
Without your pulling it, the tide comes in;
Without your twirling it, the earth can spin.
Without your pushing them, the clouds roll by.
If they can do without you, ducky, so can I!
I shall not feel alone without you.
I can stand on my own without you.
So go back in your shell,
I can do bloody well without you!
DUNCAN:
Duh... What?
JEAN:
I'm breaking up with you!
DUNCAN:
Duh... (Yep, the guy's Ivy League material)
JEAN:
Wow. I'm single. NO! I can't be single! Oh where will I find the perfect man?
(JEAN sees SCOTT standing valiantly by the punchbolw, singing)
*THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM (Man of LaMancha)*
*SCOTT*
To dream ... the impossible dream ...
To fight ... the unbeatable foe ...
To bear ... with unbearable sorrow ...
To run ... where the brave dare not go ...
To right ... the unrightable wrong ...
To love ... pure and chaste from afar ...
To try ... when your arms are too weary ...
To reach ... the unreachable star ...
This is my quest, to follow that star ...
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far ...
To fight for the right, without question or pause ...
To be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause ...
And I know if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest,
That my heart will lie will lie peaceful and calm,
when I'm laid to my rest ...
And the world will be better for this:
That one man, scorned and covered with scars,
Still strove, with his last ounce of courage,
To reach ... the unreachable star ...
(SCOTT takes a heroic pose)
(At the dance floor)
KITTY:
(blisfull sigh) This is like so totally perfect.
(LANCE is still staring at KITTYS costume)
KITTY:
I wish we could like do this more often.
LANCE:
Yeah, really often...
KITTY:
Do you think we could make it work? I mean like...
*SUN AND MOON (Miss Saigon)*
*KITTY*
you are sunlight and I moon
joined by the gods of fortune
midnight and high noon
sharing the sky
we have been blessed, you and I
*LANCE*
you are here like a mystery
I'm from a world that's so different
from all that you are
how in the light of one night
did we come so far?
*KITTY*
outside day starts to dawn
*LANCE*
your moon still floats on high
*KITTY*
the birds awake
*LANCE*
the stars shine too
*KITTY*
my hands still shake
*LANCE*
I reach for you
*BOTH*
and we meet in the sky!
*KITTY*
you are sunlight and I moon
joined here
bright'ning the sky
with the flame
of love
*BOTH*
made of
sunlight
moonlight
(KITTY and LANCE kiss. Doves fly. Fireworks go off. Crowds cheer. Angels sing. Flowers bloom... the usual)
(By the punchbolw)
KURT:
Scott! Todd spit in my hair and I need sugar!
SCOTT:
Kurt, don't be so selfish. There are more important things at hand. We must provide protection for the crucial punch.
JEAN:
Oh Scott, look! Kitty and Lance are making out, isn't that romantic?
ROGUE:
If I wasn't such a unique rebel, I would be making out.
KURT:
Since vhen have you been a unique rebel?
JEAN:
Since Gabriel got a hole and deflated.
KURT:
Oh.
JEAN:
Scott, you can stop guarding the punch, the bowl's been empty for fifteen minutes.
SCOTT:
What!? Some terrible villian must have stolen all the punch!
ROGUE:
No. Actually I drank it all. I feel strange.
JEAN:
I think we should leave. Before Rogue pukes, Kurt starts crying for sugar and Kitty and Lance suck eachothers faces off.
SCOTT:
Onward fellows! Let us journey in my red car to the Mansion!
KURT:
Kitty! Get your tongue out of zat guys stomach! Ve're going home!
(And so our heroic guintet leaves the party)
Authors Note: Now, wasn't that... I can't even find the right words for what that was. Next up, is the aftermath of the party.
