It's so hard to be a teen-mutant-superhero By: Umbravulpes

Disclaimer: Don't you people get it?! I don't own anything! I'm just swiping stuff cause I'm a little greedy bastard.

Authors Note: It's gonna get even harder to update when school starts, and that's happening all too soon... The horror!

SCENE 7

Morning at The Institute The big entryhall-place-thing-whatever

(JEAN, KITTY and KURT are waiting) (ROGUE comes down, looking like hell)

JEAN:

Busy night?

ROGUE:

You know Gabriel, he's a real beast.

KITTY:

I like kinda feel sorry for that piece of plastic.

KURT:

Ja, ze zings you do vith him are unhealthy.

ROGUE:

Oh. And what about that magazine I saw in your room when I was sneeking around and going through your private things?

KURT:

Vat magazine? Zere's no such zing in my room?! Stop looking at me like zat!

(SCOTT runs in)

JEAN:

What's the matter?

SCOTT:

Bad thing are happening. I conveniently heard that anti-mutant-anarchy has erupted after some mutants ruined the presidents picnic!

(dramatic music)

JEAN, ROGUE, KURT and KITTY:

NO!

SCOTT:

YES!

*TELL ME IT'S NOT TRUE (Blood Brothers)*

*JEAN*

Tell me it's not true

Say it's just a story

Something on the news

Tell me it's not true

Though it's here before me

Say it's just a dream

Say it's just a scene

From an old movie of years ago From an old movie of Marilyn Monroe

Say it's just some clowns

Two players in the limelight

And bring the curtain down

Say it's just two clowns

Who couldn't get their line right

Say it's just a show

Oon the radio

That we can turn over and start again

That we can turn over; it's only a game

*ALL*

Tell me it's not true

Say I only dreamed it

And morning will come true

Tell me it's not true

Say you didn't mean it

Say it's just pretend

Say it's just the end From an old movie of years ago From an old movie of Marilyn Monroe

Tell me it's not true

Say you didn't mean it

Say it's just pretend

Say it's just the end From an old movie of years ago From an old movie of Marilyn Monroe

(suddenly MARY-SUE bursts through the door)

MARY-SUE:

Oh you must help me! I'm beeing hunted down by an evil person, who has been doing terrible things to me all my life!

KURT:

Aaah! It's one of zose zings again! Get it away from me!

MARY-SUE:

But I cannot defend myself, though I'm scilled in ninjutsu and the greatest mutant ever! Oh woe is me. I'm so pretty and perfect and yet so inhibited.

ROGUE:

Oh great! If I wasn't afraid of getting some sort of horrid Mary-Sue infection from her, I'd touch her to death.

MARY-SUE:

But you mustn't kill me. I have so many fantastic talents and fabulous looks!

(SCOTT blasts MARY-SUE, who diappears in an unholy ball of flames)

JEAN:

Well, nobody likes competition.

(The X-Men have a merry laugh)

*~*~*~*~*

At the school The principals office

(KELLY is talking to a scary shadowy FIGURE)

KELLY:

So you can take care of my problem for me?

FIGURE:

Well, I can't help you with that rash, but I can take care of the mutants for you.

KELLY:

Excellent! Soon, all the mutants of Bayville High shall tremble at the feet of Kelly! Um... what's my first name again? I seem to have forgot it... Never mind! AH HAH HAA!

FIGURE:

If you don't stop laughing right now, I'll kill you.

KELLY:

Yes sir.

FIGURE:

Good. And now I shall have my ultimate revenge! AH HAH HAH HAA!

KELLY:

Whoa. It's so great to able to work with a maniac genious evil-doer like you.

FIGURE:

I know. Sometimes I even humble myself. Now, make sure that all the students are in one place. Then I'll do what I do best.

KELLY:

Bake cookies?

FIGURE:

(sigh) I have to start working with bananaflies, they have more brains than you.

* ~*~*~*~*

Lunch at the School (All the walls are now covered in posters announcing the Nasty-Anti-Mutant- Meeting, attendance mandatory)

(The X-Men are sitting at their table)

(The Brotherhood enters)

LANCE:

(looking at his food) What is this?

PIETRO:

I don't know, but it's not food.

TODD:

Don't you want yours then?

PIETRO:

I didn't say that. I merely said that this was more likely meant to be a substitute for vaseline than to be eaten.

FRED:

How depressing...

*FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD (Oliver!)*

*FRED*

Is it worth the waiting for?

If we live 'til eighty four

All we ever get is school food!

Ev'ry day we say our prayer --

Will they change the bill of fare?

Still we get the same old school food!

There is not a cust, not a crumb can we find,

Can we beg, can we borrow, or cadge,

But there's nothing to stop me from getting a thrill

When I just close our eyes and imag...ine

Food, glorious food!

Hot sausage and mustard!

While I'm in the mood --

Cold jelly and custard!

Pease pudding and saveloys!

"What's next?" is the question.

Rich gentlemen have it, boys --

In-di-gestion!

Food, glorious food!

I'm anxious to try it.

Three banquets a day --

My favourite diet!

Just picture a great big steak --

Fried, roasted or stewed.

Oh, food,

Wonderful food,

Marvellous food,

Glorious food.

Food, glorious food!

What is there more handsome?

Gulped, swallowed or chewed --

Still worth a kin's ransom.

What is it we dream about?

What brings on a sigh?

Piled peaches and cream , about

Six feet high!

Food, glorious food!

Eat right through the menu.

Just loosen your belt

Two inches and then you

Work up a new appetite.

In this interlude --

Then food,

Once again, food

Fabulous food,

Glorious food.

Food, glorious food!

Don't care what it looks like --

Burned!

Underdone!

Crude!

Don't care what the cook's like.

Just thinking of growing fat --

My senses go reeling

One moment of knowing that

Full-up feeling!

Food, glorious food!

What wouldn't I give for

That extra bit more --

That's all that I live for

Why should we be fated to

Do nothing but brood

On food,

Magical food,

Wonderful food,

Marvellous food,

Fabulous food,

*TODD*

Beautiful food,

*ALL*

Glorious food.

(The Brother hood sit in the same table as the X-Men)

ROGUE:

What's wrong in this picture?

PIETRO:

That milk of yours has gone bad six months ago?

SCOTT:

No. What in the holy name of Batman are you doing?

LANCE:

You guys know about that meeting.

(Everyones glance around them at the multitute of posters)

SCOTT:

Yeah.

PIETRO:

Well, we thought that if things get ugly, and I'm sure they will, that we should put aside our deep hatred for eachother in the hopes of our collective survival.

KITTY:

Huh?

LANCE:

He means we should work together.

(dramatic music)

SCOTT:

But we're enemies!

PIETRO:

We might have a small philosophical disagreement. But we still have more similarities.

*THE COURT OF THE MIRACLES (Notre Dame de Paris)*

*PIETRO* We are brothers forever, pain and joy we share together.

For the outcasts of the earth, there's no heaven there's no hell.

There's no heaven or hell.

We are the ones no one sees; we are the ones who can eat, through the world as we please.

*PIETRO* *(CHORUS)*

The blood and the wine are always running red.

(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles).

By thieves and by whores you know the dance is led.

(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles).

The blind man will see and all the cripples dance.

(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles).

We're born to be killed and so we take a chance.

(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles).

(Court of the miracles, court of the miracles).

*PIETRO*

We are all of the same race here, the same invisible face here.

For the outcasts of the world, there's no country there's no god.

There's no country or god.

These rags we wear are our flags, It is the shade of my skin, and it's that of your skin.

*PIETRO* *(CHORUS)*

The gypsies and tramps they sing the same old song.

(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles).

You know none of us, will be alive too long.

(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles).

The killers and thieves all share a loving curse.

(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles)

We make one mistake and then the game is up.

(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles).

(Court of the miracles, court of the miracles).

The blood and the wine are always running red.

(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles).

By thieves and by whores you know the dance is led.

(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles)

The blind man will see and all the cripples dance.

(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles)

We're born to be hung and so we take our chance.

(At the court of the miracles, court of the miracles).

(Court of the miracles, court of the miracles).

The killers and thieves they sing the same old song.

(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles).

You know none of us will be alive too long.

(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles).

The killers and thieves will share a loving cup.

(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles)

We make one mistake and then the game is up.

(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles).

(Court of the miracles, court of the miracles).

At the court of the miracles.

At the court of the miracles.

At the court of the miracles.

JEAN:

Well I'm convinced.

SCOTT:

Yes! Let us work together!

*~*~*~*~*

Meanwhile, att The Institute

(MARY-SUE appears)

MARY-SUE:

I have fough the very fires of hell to returne to my love, whoever that is.

AUTHOR:

Oh crap! There's only one thing left to be done. Alter-ego with whom I have a pact, show your true form and insert thyself in the fic! AUTHOR INSERTATION!

(The AUTHORS anime-ovedosed alter-ego appears)

ALTER-EGO:

Hello. You won't mind if kill you just a bit?

MARY-SUE:

Yes I will.

ALTER-EGO:

Too bad... CHARACTER DELETION!

(MARY-SUE is deleted)

ALTER-EGO:

Another job welldone. Now, sushi!

Authors Note: Sorry about that. I just had do some Mary-Sue bashing. Remember to use the review button. It want's you to use it. And remember to come back for the next chapter, where our heros go to a meeting.