aaand part seven! thanks for reviewing-you guys are great! anyways, please review this part, it's alot longer!

Part Seven

"I don't know what's wrong with him," Monica said, exasperated, to Rachel over the phone. "It's like he just doesn't care anymore. He doesn't talk, he barely ever eats, he just goes to work, comes home and sleeps."

"Monica, give the guy a break. He just lost his best friend," Rachel said sympathetically.

"I know, Rach, and I know Joey and Chandler had a different relationship than we did, but I'm grieving, too. And so are you, and Ross and Phoebe and Mike. But none of us are acting like this."

"Maybe it's just his way of dealing. Everybody grieves differently."

"But it's not healthy," Monica argued, "He's losing weight, and if he doesn't eat, that'll keep happening. Plus, our relationship is gone. He doesn't even talk to me anymore. And the baby. He used to be so excited about the baby. Now he doesn't even ask."

Rachel had to admit that Chandler did sound like he was in serious trouble. "Have you tried talking to him?"

"About a million times. He won't say anything. Just that he's fine and to leave him alone."

"Maybe Ross should talk to him," Rachel said.

"Well," Monica sighed, "I don't think it'll do anything, but I guess it's worth a shot."

Chandler sat at his desk, head down, scanning a proposal he was supposed to read. The days were beginning to settle into a pattern-Chandler awoke, and without a word to anyone, got dressed and left for work. At work, he stayed as quiet as possible, got whatever he had to get done, and left. To avoid going home, he'd drive around for hours, with no destination in mind. But it kept him from going home.

In Chandler's mind, spending as little time at home as possible was best. When he wasn't around other people, he couldn't hurt them like he'd hurt Joey. He'd let Joey die an unhappy man, and that, in Chandler's mind, was the worst kind of hurt you could cause anyone. So he strayed away from the world of people, so he could avoid causing more pain than he already had.

Finally, Chandler finished reading the proposal and got up from his desk, sighing in relief. Work was over. There'd been a time when he'd enjoyed his job, even looked forward to coming to work. But he didn't now, not anymore. Joey could no longer enjoy his job. So Chandler shouldn't enjoy his either.

Chandler exited his office building, but he'd not yet reached his car when his old work pal, Zack, came running up to him. "Hey, Chandler, long time no talk," Zack greeted.

Chandler stuffed his hands in his pockets, "Uh, yeah, I guess," he said quietly.

"So how're things going? I hear Monica's pregnant. How far along is she?"

"About four months," Chandler mumbled. He didn't know much about the baby anymore-he figured he didn't need to screw up the baby's life, too, but he did at least know how far Monica was.

"Do you guys know the sex yet?"

"Uh, no," Chandler said, "No, we don't." The truth was Chandler didn't know. When Monica had first gotten pregnant, Chandler had gone to the doctor's appointments, seen the sonogram and everything-and he'd been so excited. But he figured Monica had had at least one doctor's appointment in the past month or so since Joey's death, and Monica might've found out the sex. It was then Chandler realized he'd never asked how the appointments had gone. But then again, he figured, what he didn't say couldn't hurt someone. Not wanting to talk to Zack about the baby any longer, Chandler said, "Look, Zack, I've gotta run. I'll see you tomorrow." Before Zack could so much as say good-bye, Chandler had hopped into his car.

Thinking about the baby had shaken Chandler up more than he wanted to admit. As much as he felt it was best for his unborn child for Chandler not to be involved-he'd only screw him up-Chandler couldn't help thinking about the baby sometimes. He wanted so badly to be involved, in both the baby and Monica's life. But the reality of the situation was he couldn't be. That reality was growing clearer and clearer to Chandler every day. All he'd do is make them unhappy-he wouldn't tell them things they needed to hear, he'd make them die unhappily-just like he'd done to Joey.

If only Joey had lived just a few more days. Not that Chandler wanted Joey dead, not at all. But maybe, just maybe, Chandler thought, if Joey lived a few more weeks or days, Chandler would've had time to tell him those things. But Chandler couldn't turn back time. All that was ahead was his future, and Chandler had already decided how that would go-he needed to get out of the lives of the people he cared about.

And if you were

With me tonight

I'd sing to you just

One more time

A song for a heart so big

God wouldn't let it live

May angels lead you in

Hear you me my friends

On sleepless roads

The sleepless go

May angels lead you in

May angels lead you in

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