It's so hard to be a teen-mutant-superhero By: Umbravulpes

Disclaimer: Hah! Take that! Check out my new cool... book... hmm... old book...

Authors Note: Need to update fast... school starting... time runing out... ability to talk normal vanishing...

SCENE 9

The institute (After a thrilling car-chase, the MUTANTS come in)

SCOTT:

Here we are! Safe and sound.

ROGUE:

What about the angry mob? And why did my heel hurt so much?

(H.P. theme-music)

FRED:

Whoa! This place is so... what's that word?

PIETRO:

In one piece?

FRED:

Yeah.

SCOTT:

Make yourselves comfortable, put up your feet...

*CONSIDER YOURSELF (Oliver!)*

*SCOTT*

Consider yourself at home.

Consider yourself one of the family.

We've taken to you so strong.

It's clear we're going to get along.

Consider yourself well in

Consider yourself part to the furniture.

There isn't a lot to spare.

Who cares?..What ever we've got we share!

If it should chance to be

We should see

Some harder days

Empty larder days

Why grouse?

Always a-chance we'll meet

Somebody

To foot the bill

Then the drinks are on the house!

PEITRO Yeah. Someone like filthy rich professor.

SCOTT Shut up and let me sing.

*SCOTT*

Consider yourself our mate.

We do't want to have no fuss,

For after some consideration, we can state...

Consider yourself

One of us!

Consider yourself...

*PIETRO*

At home?

*SCOTT

Consider yourself...

*LANCE*

One of the family

*JEAN*

We've taken to you

*FRED*

So strong

*KURT*

It's clear...ve're...

*ALL*

Going to get along

*SCOTT*

Consider yourself...

*ROGUE*

Well in!

*SCOTT*

Consider yourself...

*KITTY*

Part of the furniture

*TODD*

There isn't a lot to spare

*ALL*

Who cares?

Whatever we got we share

*SCOTT*

Nobody tries to be lah-di-dah or uppity--

There a cup-o'-tea for all.

*ALL*

Only it's wise to be handy with a rolling pin

When Logan comes to call!

TODD What hell does that mean yo?

(Everyone shrugs)

*SCOTT*

Consider yourself

Our mate.

We don't want to have no fuss

*ALL*

For after some consideration we can state

*PIETRO*

Consider yourself

*SCOTT*

Yes!

*ALL*

One of us!

If it should chance to be

We should see

Some harder days

Empty larder days --

Why grouse?

Always a chance we'll meet

Somebody

To food the bill --

Then the drinks are on the house!

Consider yourself our mate.

We don't want to have no fuss

For after some consideration, we can state...

Consider yourself...

One of us!

*SCOTT*

Consider yourself

*ALL*

At home.

*SCOTT*

We've taken to you

*ALL*

So strong

*SCOTT*

Consider yourself

*ALL*

Well in.

Nobody tries to be lah-di-dah or uppity.

There's a cup-o'-tea for all

Only it's wise to be handy with a rolling pin

Wen Logan comes to call

Consider yourself our mate

We don't want to have no fuss

For after some consideration we can state

Consider yourself

One of us...

For after some consideration we can state

Consider yourself...

One of us!

If it should chance to be

We should see some harder days,

Empyt larder days,

Why grouse?

Always a chance we'll meet

Somebody to foot the bill.

Then the drinks are on the house.

Consider yourself at home.

Consider yourself one of the family.

We've taken to you so strong.

It's clear we're going to get along.

Consider yourself well in.

Consider yourself part of the furniture.

There isn't a lot to spare.

Who cares?

Whatever we've got we share.

If it should chance to be

We should see some harder days,

Empty larder days,

Why grouse?

Always a chance we'll meet

Somebody to foot the bill.

Then the drinks are on the house.

Consider yourself our mate.

We don't want to have no fuss

For after some consideration we can state

Consider yourself...

One of us!!

*~*~*~*~*

Later, at Lance's jeep's memorial

(LANCE is sobing uncontrolably in front of a picture of his jeep)

LANCE:

Why God?! Why?!

SCOTT:

Lance, my deepest condolences on your jeep. I can't imagine how I would feel, if my nice and shiny red car would be demolished by an angry mob. But rest assured that its sacrifice was not in vain.

LANCE:

WHY?!

FRED:

This is so sad. You guys won't think I'm beeign girly if I cry?

ROGUE:

(sniff) No.

JEAN:

War does terrible things and the innocent allways suffer. Just look at my nail!

LANCE:

It was such a good jeep...

SCOTT:

I think we should leave Lance alone for a while.

(ALL except LANCE and KITTY leave)

LANCE:

It's so wrong...

KITTY:

I know, but the jeep's in like a better place now and you have to move on. Your jeep wouldn't want you to be like sorry for it.

LANCE:

But still...

KITTY:

And you have me. Together we'll make it through.

*SO LOOK NO MORE FOR LOVE (Notre Dame de Paris)*

*KITTY*

My tender years I bring here to you, like diamonds on a string all for you.

Just promise anything, anything I'll believe it's true

*LANCE*

Your heart say's it is time for us two, your eyes look into mine and I'm through.

Not all the stars that shine will outdo, the diamonds they're in you.

*KITTY*

The man I've come to love, this handsome cavalier.

Won't know how I can love, until I hold him near.

*LANCE*

You say that I don't know, but when you look at me.

Your eyes have such a glow; I know how it will be.

*KITTY*

So look no more for love.

*LANCE*

Love is you.

*KITTY*

Love's all I am made of.

*LANCE*

Oh so true.

*KITTY*

The sun will shine above on our love the day I marry you.

LANCE Marry? Aren't we moving a little too fast?

KITTY It's not like my idea. It's the authors.

AUTHOR It's in the original lyrics, I didn't feel like changing it.

LANCE Lasy asshole.

ALTER-EGO (pulls out an impressive anime-styled sword) SING!

*LANCE*

I'll find you in the night, when all the moonlight streams.

Will cover you in light, and I will touch my dreams.

*KITTY*

And all the words you'll say, will fill my heart with fire.

As night turns into day, I'll do all you desire.

*BOTH*

So look no more for love, love is you.

Loves all I am made of, Oh so true.

The sun will shine above on our love the day I marry you.

The sun will shine above on our love the day I marry you.

The day I marry you.

LANCE:

Sorry jeep, you just met your match.

(LANCE and KITTY start to make out)

*~*~*~*~*

(JEAN is worried)

JEAN:

I'm worried Scott. What if the angry mob comes here?

SCOTT:

Fear not, my dear! For I, Scott, am here!

JEAN:

Hey, that rhymed!

SCOTT:

All this weird singing must be getting to me.

JEAN:

Even though that rhymed, I'm still worried.

*ALL I ASK OF YOU (Phantom of the Opera)*

*SCOTT*

No more talk of darkness

Forget these wide-eyed fears

I am here, nothing can harm you

My words will warm you and calm you

Let me be your freedom

Let daylight dry your tears

I am here, with you and beside you

To guard you and to guide you

*JEAN*

Then say you love me every waking moment

Turn my head with talk of summertime

Say you will need me with you now and always

Promise me that all you say is true

That's all I ask of you

*SCOTT*

Let me me be your shelter

Let me be your light

You are safe, no one will find you

Your fears are far behind you

*JEAN*

All I want is freedom

And a world with no more night

And you, always beside me

To hold me and to hide me

*SCOTT*

Then say you will share with me one love, one lifetime

Let me lead you from your solitude

Say you will need me, here beside you

Anywhere you go, let me go too

That's all I ask of you

*JEAN*

Say you will share with me one love, one lifetime

Say the word and I will follow you

*BOTH*

Share each day with me, each night, each morning

Say you feel the way I do

That's all I ask of you

Anywhere you go, let me go too

Love me, that's all I ask of you

(Making out ensues)

*~*~*~*~*

(ROGUE is sitting by the window)

ROGUE:

It's a miracle I haven't fallen yet. (sigh) I hate everything, except furry little kittens. But I can't even have a kitten! All I have is a cactus and it's dying too!

*IN MY LIFE (Les Miserábles)*

*ROGUE*

How strange, this feeling that I've gone mad at last

This change, can people really get cofused so fast?

What's the matter with you, Rogue?

Have you been too much on your own?

So many things unclear

So many things unknown.

In my life

There are so many questions and answers

That somehow seem wrong

In my life

There are times when I catch in the silence

The sigh of a faraway song

And it sings

Of a world that I long to see

Out of reach

Just a whisper away

Waiting for me!

Do they know I'm alive?

Do I know if they're real?

Do they see what I saw?

Do they feel what I feel?

In my life

I'm no longer alone

Now the love in my life

Is so near

Find me now, find me here!

(MYSTIQUE is in Washington in a hotelroom, looking all glum)

*MYSTIQUE*

Dear Marie,

You're such a lonely child

How pensive, how sad you seem to me

Believe me, were it within my power

I'd fill each passing hour

How quiet it must be, I can see

With no one for company.

*ROGUE*

There's so little I know

That I'm longing to know

Of the child that I was

In a time long ago

There's so little you say

Of the life you have known

Why you keep to yourself

Why we're always alone

So dark, so dark and deep

The secrets that you keep!

In my life

I have all that I want

Friends who are loving and gentle and good.

But Mystique, dear Mystique,

In your eyes I am just like a child

Who is lost in a wood

*MYSTIQUE*

No more words

No more words, it's a time that is dead

There are words

That are better unheard, better unsaid.

*ROGUE*

In my life

I'm no longer a child and I yearn

For the truth that you know

Of the years... years ago!

MYSTIQUE:

Well, I'm not going to tell that from all the way here!

ROGUE:

Fine! I hate you, you're so unfair!

MYSTIQUE:

Go to your room!

ROGUE:

I am in my room!

MYSTIQUE:

Damn.

*~*~*~*~*

In the hall

(TODD is becoming hopping mad, literally)

TODD:

I can't stand all these sappy feelings, yo! They're making me question my manhood... mutanthood... brotherhood... whatever.

*MY OWN SPACE (The Act)*

*TODD*

I won't need much

Just my own space

A little time

With my own thoughts

And my own space

Some place to run

Some place to hide

Where there is no one else

But me, to meet inside

I love you more

Than I can ever say

I love you more, and more, and more

With every passing day

Allow me light

A breath of air

Leave me the only thing

I own, we cannot share

Just leave me that

Sweet love of mine

Just leave me that

Just my own space

And we'll be fine

I love you more

Than I could ever say

I love you more, and more, and more

With every passing day

Allow me light

A breath of air

Leave me the only thing

I own, we cannot share

Just my own space

Sweet love of mine

Just leave me that

Just my own space

And we'll be fine

(TODD jumps out through an expensive antique glass-window)

(KURT enters)

KURT:

Todd, where are you? Dumme, geruche Kröte... (Stupid, smelly toad...)

(KURT sees the broken window)

KURT:

Wunderbar, wer machte dies? (Wonderful, who did this?) I'm not going to clean zis up! Don't even try to make me!

(PIETRO runs by, KURT'S fur ends up becoming very messy)

PIETRO:

So much sugar! I've broken the sound barrier!

KURT:

Dammit! I'll never get zis sorted out!

Authors Note: Ooh, what shall happen to Todd? What shall happen to Rogue? What shall happen to our happy couples? What shall happen when someone steps on those sharp pieces of glass on the floor? Wait and see...