Anrui / Kanrui: Chapter 03

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion. Please don't sue.

A/N: *sigh* Nothing ever comes out right. I can't figure out what the problem is. I see everything so easily in my mind but can't translate it for people to experience. I'll keep trying though, it should get easier with time... right? (Hopefully)

Hopefully I'll get a bit more exposition out this time around. There are so many things I want to put in here and I always seem to leave out important ones. I apologize about the slow pace but, believe it or not, it's kind of integral. Or maybe I'm just weird. I vote: Watermelon seed.

Credit: I'm not sure where I first read it, but somewhere in one of the many fanfics I read Pen-Pen called Shinji "The Provider." I apologize to whoever came up with that, that I can't remember who you are. It fit so perfectly here that I used it. If anyone wishes me to remove it please let me know, if you were the one who thought of it let me know as well so I can give you credit for it. ("The Tall One" is temporary. I'm trying to get into Pen-Pen's mind) *boggle*

-------------------

Pen-Pen wandered past the two females of the apartment sparing just the barest of confused looks. After his breakfast he noticed that things weren't the same as most mornings. The red-plumed one was seething, even more than usual, but it wasn't aimed anywhere since The Provider had left. Usually the young boy who made sure Pen-Pen was well fed would docilely take the punishment and meekly follow the girl out, sometimes being dragged behind her forcibly. The penguin hoped nothing too serious was going on, he liked his family and would hate to give any of them the Pen-Pen Cold Shoulder. Noone deserved that fate.

Misato glanced at Pen-Pen as he shuddered, thinking to herself, 'Probably getting cold.'

She returned her attention to the irate redhead before her and let out a quiet sigh.

"Asuka, I thought you two were getting along so well." as much as she wanted to tease the girl and ask, "Trouble in paradise?" she refrained. Something serious was going on and she didn't need to ruin her chances at finding out what, exactly.

Asuka grimaced at the thought, which didn't go unnoticed by Misato. The redhead's face went through a few different emotions before finally landing on 'anger' once again. It looked like a slot machine and Misato just got the most common payout.

Misato decided a light touch might be needed, but she didn't have much time before Asuka would need to start for school. Cupping her coffee mug in both hands and staring down at it's contents she finally spoke quietly.

"I was happy to see you both having so much fun." she started. It was true, she felt good about Shinji opening up and being a bit happier. She was glad that Asuka had toned things down and actually seemed to have fun and enjoy herself. God knew they all needed some respite after coming home from their job. Saving humanity wasn't as "fun" as, say, Aida thought it might be.

She continued when Asuka didn't reply, "I hope whatever differences you two might have right now, that they can be dealt with swiftly." Her voice was a bit softer now. "I care about you both and I don't want to see either of you hurt."

Asuka made a sour face, seemingly taking everything in. The kind words of the guardian of the house didn't seem to have their desired effect though. Misato realized this was much bigger than she originally thought and she wasn't going to get answers anytime soon. As a tactition she knew when to withdraw. Hopefully they'll come to her if she's needed and if not, work it out on their own peacefully.

Knowing she wasn't going to get anywhere with the silent girl she resolved herself to not giving away her true intent of finding out what was wrong. Hoping in trying to set Asuka's mind at ease she thought reaffirming what she saw recently might give her perspective about it. She took a sip of coffee and then stated in a thoughtfully wistful tone, "It's hard to believe, Shinji's reaction I mean... he seemed to really enjoy the past couple wee-"

Asuka stood up suddenly and shouted, "I KNOW! I know! Just... SHUT UP!" cutting Misato off and effectively halting any further comments.

Misato stared at Asuka, having realized a very important fact.

Whatever it was that happened, Asuka felt guilty.

'For some reason, that fact makes me even more worried...' Misato thought to herself. Out loud she said softly, "Go to school. I'll clean up." then took another sip of coffee, averting her eyes as the german girl stomped out of the kitchen.

For a long while after the door had closed for the second time Misato sat at the table. She knew she was going to be late for work but decided that the continued emotional stability (as much as it were) of her two charges was a part of that work. For, if they could not get along here... would they be able to be relied upon during an attack?

She leaned her head forward and rested her cheek against her folded forearms on the table. With her head turned she was looking straight at Pen-Pen who had came back when Asuka had left.

"Pen-Pen, what do you think is going on?"

The penguin stared back at Misato, almost looking thoughtful even though his expression hadn't changed. After a blink he let out a quiet, "Wark."

"Yeah, me too." Misato said understandingly.

Pen-Pen would have rolled his eyes if he knew of the sarcasm implied. Instead he just wandered back out into the living room. He liked The Tall One, but she could be so dense at times.

------------------------

Asuka thought about her morning on the way to school. She was still unbelievably irate at Shinji for outright ignoring her and now added to that was the fact that he hadn't made her lunch either. Other feelings surfaced during her walk and she didn't like the tone they took.

'I know he liked the time we spent together, who wouldn't?' her mind spoke. 'He was SUPPOSED to enjoy it and-' the thought got cloudy, suddenly finishing with, 'why do I feel so bad about that?'

She growled to herself wondering why that feeling suddenly came back. She had felt it when Misato was talking with her earlier, that wrenching feeling within her chest. She felt it when she brought up Shinji's feelings. This wasn't right, none of this was right.

Deciding to experiment a little (controlled environment and all that, what could be more controlled than her own mind... right?) she allowed herself to think about Shinji's reactions. During the previous two weeks he had complimented her fairly often... 'Well, I deserve it...' she thought, with little conviction. She remembered how, near the end of the two weeks his face would naturally brighten slightly whenever she walked into the room.

"There!" she said aloud, a pained look on her face. That sinking feeling in her heart was back. It was intense and caused her to nearly lose her breath. Her hand unconsciously went to her chest and she breathed deeply. She stood for a moment, contemplating.

Suddenly realizing her surroundings she cursed to herself and turned around.

Somehow she had walked right past the school.

-------------------------

Shinji sat in class listening to his SDAT player while waiting for everyone to arrive. He was much earlier than normal and had taken the time to study a bit more. Without the other people in the classroom he was able to relax finally and sink into his seat. He let his muscles go and laid limply, just listening to his music. Unfortunately, even with the music and his concentration on it, he found himself thinking about Asuka.

"So, like I said, thanks for the memories but you can keep them." he could hear her in his mind, even over the music.

Shinji's face contorted into a frown. 'Memories... huh?' he asked himself mentally. 'Memories...'

"Memories..." he said aloud, not realizing it.

'I WILL keep them.' he thought to himself. Even knowing it was a joke, all a big prank to get him to let down his guard... he still had enjoyed himself. He hadn't realized he could feel that way until he and Asuka started doing things together more. She had made it a point to take him places, to get him to have fun. He realized during that time that many of the things he worried about and obsessed over... weren't foremost in his mind. They were important, of course, but they weren't the only thing there anymore.

Even if she had just done it all as a way to make a fool out of him, that didn't change the effect it had on him. There were two distinct outcomes from everything that happened. He felt as though his feelings were a pendulum that was suddenly pushed very hard. It swung further than it ever had before towards happiness and contentment, then with Asuka's words the previous evening it swung back, past the center and out the other side... nearly as far the other way.

He found his thoughts coming back to the fact that she had done everything for her planned outcome of ripping it all away from him. He felt used and betrayed, and it hurt more that it came from someone he found himself having feelings for. Deep feelings.

He was gambling with those feelings. He decided to take a risk, thinking it didn't matter much in the end since he didn't have anything to lose. He had already lost it all... however... he wasn't completely convinced he HAD lost. He wasn't quite sure why, but things weren't adding up. He decided to wait, betting his feelings on the resolution of everything, on the faith in what didn't add up.

Opening his eyes he noticed many of the students had already come in and were talking amongst themselves or getting ready for class to start. He glanced over and saw The First Child, Ayanami Rei, sitting silently and looking out the window. His attention was suddenly stolen by the entrance of Asuka who sounded even angrier than he had left her. Without so much as a twitch at her arrival Shinji continued to watch Ayanami. He could hear Asuka's muttered tirade clearly enough and just hoped Hikari showed up before Asuka decided to confront him again.

No such luck.

"Hey! Baka!" Asuka shouted at Shinji, having stopped in front of his desk. "Why didn't you make my lunch?" she asked angrily.

Asuka stood for a few moments before she realized that Shinji wasn't going to respond. She leaned forward and snatched the earbuds from his ears and with her face almost directly in front of his shouted, "HEY, STUPID! WHERE IS MY LUNCH!?"

The entire class stopped and watched the girl. Shinji had yet to move, or acknowledge Asuka in any way. He didn't even bother looking at her... he just stared... past... her.

Asuka felt that pain in her chest again at this, this wasn't right. This was even worse than she thought. He wasn't just ignoring her.

She didn't exist.

Asuka staggered back, a momentary lapse in her composure. She dropped the headphones she was holding and was able to bring herself back slightly... but not all the way.

She clenched her fist, her face scowling fiercely. She was shaking, whether it from fear or anger she couldn't tell. This couldn't be happening, not to her. Even if she WAS to bla- 'SHUT UP!' she shrieked to herself internally.

'Ignore this...' she thought, disturbingly calm and smooth.

With all the force she could gather her fist tore through the air and connected with Shinji's cheek, his head rocking back from the impact.

The classroom was stunned. This was not the normal abuse she had shown the boy in the past, she had connected with full intent on serious damage. Noone dared move, they watched silently in stunned awe at what was happening.

With a quick inhaled hiss Asuka clutched her injured hand with her good one and stared in disbelief as Shinji's head rolled back forward slowly to stop in the exact same position she had hit him in.

A dark red mark could be seen on his cheek and it was already showing signs of darker hues. He didn't wince at the pain, he didn't glare at her, he did nothing except continue to stare.

Aida Kensuke and Suzuhara Touji happened to arrive just at that moment. With their typical jovial "Good morning, Shinji!" they walked in, oblivious to the state of the class.

To everyone's surprise Shinji glanced up at them and smiled, just as he did every morning and greeted them in kind.

"Touji, Kensuke, Good morning." Shinji's face looked the same as every other morning. A dimmed cheerfulness which was becoming a bit brighter each day as he opened up a bit more to his friends.

The only differences in class on this morning were the darkening mark on Shinji's face with a small trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth... and the look of absolute terror Asuka wore.

Horaki Hikari joined the class just after Touji and Kensuke, she was absent for Asuka's outburst since she needed to get supplies for the upcoming classes during the day. As she entered one thought entered her mind and would not be refused:

Something was terribly wrong.