Anrui / Kanrui: Chapter 06

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion. Please don't sue.

A/N: Thanks again for all your reviews, they make me giddy and giggly. ^_^

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The two teenage girls sat silently under their tree for quite awhile before one of them chose to break the silence. Both of them having calmed down, it was with an uncharacteristically meek voice that the robust redhead continued to share her slightly vulnerable side to her best friend by stating, "I don't understand." And indeed, she didn't.

Her fire and ire now dissipated, she glanced from the grass she was staring at up to the sky to watch the clouds move lazily past. It wasn't until she had nearly lost site of one she had been watching for a while that she spoke again.

"I hate being wrong." the german girl stated quietly.

Hikari, the other girl, nodded understandingly. She glanced up at the sky to see what her friend saw, to see if maybe peering up into that endless blue she could glean from it what her friend could not about her situation. Not finding any answers, she instead relied on her own thoughts about it.

"It was just a temporary lapse in judgement... right?"

Asuka continued to stare at the sky, "I... I don't know. I wanted to hurt him so badly. I wanted to watch him suffer." Her voice took on a slightly darker tone, "I still do. Even more so now."

Hikari chewed on her bottom lip thoughtfully and glanced at the girl next to her. She did not like the idea that Asuka wanted to hurt the boy so much. She was used to her bossy nature and the way she treated Ikari but this felt different, as though the harm she wanted to inflict would be irreparable.

Quietly, the brown haired girl asked, "Why?"

Asuka's hands went to her head with a loud "Argh!" and her fingertips began scratching through her hair at her skull. "I don't know!" She balled her fists around clumps of her hair and tugged slightly, pulling her hair and letting the feeling renew her perspective on reality. "I know why he irritates me so much, I know why I want to hate him, I know why I can't stand his smug face..." her teeth gritted together again, "...but I don't know why!"

Hikari frowned, not understanding what her friend meant. It was obvious there was more to the discussion than was being said. It was as if Asuka was omitting things, or taking them for granted while talking about it. The parts unspoken were trapped in Asuka's mind but were still influencing her feelings.

Deciding on another tactic, hoping perhaps to help her gain perspective from another angle the class representative smiled slightly and asked, "Did you like being with him?"

Not expecting the reaction she got, Hikari would have withdrawn the question had she had time.

"I don't know!" Asuka shouted, "I hated him for being so nice all the time, he's always so apologetic, so weak and... Argh! It drives me insane when he just does what he's told!" She was breathing heavily now, her previous irritation returning. "I can't stand it when he does that. It's like he has no will of his own, he's weak and disgusting!"

Hikari watched as Asuka clenched her fists and ground them against her lap while trying to find the words to express herself. When it looked as though Asuka had run her course Hikari glanced back up at the sky and said quietly, "I don't think he's as weak as you believe." which earned her a perplexed glare from Asuka.

"What are you, stupid?" Asuka asked, without the usual bite reserved for when she asked the young Ikari the same question.

Hikari shook her head, both at Asuka's question and the girl's beliefs about Ikari. "He tries to take responsibility, even for other's actions. He may try a little too hard to take on as much as he does, and worries about things that he shouldn't have to... but I think that takes SOME type of strength."

She quickly waved her hands defensively at Asuka's continued stare, "Don't get me wrong, I don't know him as well as you do... but that's just what I see in him." She paused a moment and then continued, "Maybe the way he goes about it is strange, or his attempts at responsibility are misplaced, but he seems to live with a lot of pain." Hikari stared down at her hands.

Asuka scoffed quietly at her friend's words, "You're right, you don't know him as well as I do." It wasn't said maliciously, rather as to illustrate a point. "He runs away like the coward he is, he's afraid, he-" she frowned, that wrenching sensation in her chest again, she placed her hand there and stared at the grass.

Images of Shinji flashed through Asuka's mind, times when he appeared afraid, scared, hurt... times when it looked as though he wanted to run away. The ache in her chest grew as she was assaulted with more memories of the boy.

Hikari glanced up at Asuka when she stopped talking and noticed the pained expression on her face from earlier in the day. "Asuka... what's wrong?"

Asuka shook her head suddenly, her mouth quirking into a confident grin as usual, "Nothing. I'm fine..." her words were hollow and masked but Hikari decided that with the look on her face, Asuka wasn't going to elaborate any further.

Inside Asuka was reeling, 'When I think of what I've done... I-I don't like this at all... why... WHY?!' she thought frantically.

They both heard the bell recalling them to class. Hikari gathered her things and followed behind Asuka. She felt bad that they didn't seem to resolve much of anything, it seemed so convoluted and Asuka's inability to express herself seemed to be a large stumbling block. Hikari disliked Asuka's actions but thought she saw signs of true regret on her part over it. She was glad she could still believe in her friend even after knowing what she did. She just hoped that Asuka could sort her feelings before things got worse.

As they walked Hikari mulled over their conversation in her mind. She decided that sitting down and talking about it more might help, and if not that getting together could help ease Asuka's mind a little at least.

"Asuka, would you like to go for some tea after school? We could talk more if you like."

Asuka hesitated almost imperceptibly as she walked, "I have a synch test tonight. We probably won't be home until late."

Hikari nodded and offered a warm smile to her friend's back, "I understand. If you need, or want to talk more... just let me know."

Asuka stopped suddenly and turned to face her friend. A small genuine smile had replaced her earlier smirk and Hikari was glad, once again, for believing in her.

"It's ok, everything will be fine." Asuka stated, a twinge of arrogance gracing her statement. Hikari's smile slipped slightly but returned as Asuka continued in a sincere tone, "Thank you, though."

Hikari nodded smartly, a silent "Of course!" indicating her dedication to her friend. She couldn't hope to always be free from Asuka's arrogance and the girl's "I only need me" attitude, but she was glad she could be there for the times in between.

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The class representative and her normally boisterous friend arrived in class just before their arrival would make them tardy. Nearly everyone else was seated and ready for the continuation of classes. With a worried look Hikari glanced at Asuka who in turn was trying not to look like she was watching Ikari. The masks had been replaced once again and Asuka's face was the epitome of angst fueled irritation. Hikari wondered how much of that was truly a mask and how much was only there to cover up the feelings Asuka refused to show people. The feelings that would give people a glimpse at her slight vulnerability.

Hikari watched Asuka and noted that her furious seething was not evident any longer and she was controlling herself much easier now. She regretted not being able to get the full story of what happened since much of Asuka's irritation seemed to be aimed at whatever Ikari had done.

'No... well, yes... he... I...' Asuka's voice rang through her mind. What exactly did Ikari do? Hikari sighed heavily to herself and tried to wait patiently for the full story. One small lunch period obviously wasn't enough to figure out what was going on.

Making sure Asuka was composed enough Hikari turned and glanced at the target of the german girl's ire. He, for his part, was acting as though nothing was out of the ordinary. He was going through the same motions as she remembered him doing every other day. The only thing out of place was the small specks of blood still on his shirt.

Hikari frowned, he didn't even bother trying to wash them off? She was sure he had plenty of time during lunch to do so. He seemed to be a neat person normally and unless she had gotten to know him a little as she had she wouldn't have thought twice on it. Instead, it tickled at the back of her mind like an annoying itch, the gentle prodding of a clue to help with an answer.

A second sigh escaped her lips in nearly as many minutes. There was no use in wracking her brain over it, she just didn't have enough information. After another quick glance at Asuka, the class representative opened her work and tried to concentrate on the rest of the school day.

With little success.

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// Omake(ni!) //

Dr. Akagi stood silently before the soul smothering presence of Ikari Gendou. In what appeared to be a deliberate attempt to frazzle the blonde woman, the man at the desk took his time reading the report which had been handed to him. For what seemed like hours he pored over the papers until finally he shattered the silence with his judgement.

"Dismissed."

Ritsuko's mouth opened and closed a few times as she tried to find the words which eluded her. She knew she had to say something or things would only be worse later when he found out for himself. Inadvertantly, she nearly gave the man deep satisfaction by stammering in his presence, instead she was able to compose her thoughts and let them flow smoothly from her lips, "I have been informed that the Second and Third children are having... difficulties." She waited for his reaction and hoped it had nothing to do with her.

Within the oppressively large office the Commander's voice reverberated deeply, "Continue."

Licking her suddenly dry lips Akagi Ritsuko imparted upon her superior all that was told to her by Katsuragi Misato. Her speech was emotionless and succinct, the epitome of refined control. When she was finally done her head swam from hyperventilation. She took deep, even breaths to combat the unintentional side-effect of speaking so rigidly.

After a moment's consideration, which seemed more like none at all the Commander answered, "Understood. Dismissed."

Ritsuko took a moment to shake away the thought of asking what he was going to do and turned to leave. Just as she reached the door she heard the hateful man ask one further thing of her.

"Watch their synch scores carefully and notify me of any changes."

With a dutiful nod Dr. Akagi Ritsuko left the office, grateful to be out of the man's presence... and hoping, for their sake, the Children were back to normal.

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A/N: I happened to look up "Omake" online and found that "Omakeni" means "to make matters worse (id)" I don't know what the "id" part is, but it was so perfect I couldn't pass it up. It made me feel all fuzzy inside. I knew "omake" meant bonus, which most of the time on here means outtakes or rewriting scenes for humor purposes. I'm taking the literal translation, bonus. This omake(ni) is just that, a bonus that will probably make matters worse, and combining the two makes me nod my head at my own witty-witful-ness. Ok, so it's nothing special... I could've just put it in as part of the story. But I didn't, did I! Ah ha! I put it in as a bonus, or else we'd NEVER know what had happened there... right? *sigh* I'm no good at this...

Anyway, humor-ific omake may make their way in sometime but I hadn't come up with anything terribly funny just yet. I'm afraid my fun-ness is limited to spinning around in my office chair and then trying to walk a straight line.