Anrui / Kanrui: Chapter 08

A/N: I've been trying to figure out how to keep paragraph indents AND use italics/bold. So far I have to give up one for the other. *sigh* If anyone knows in what format or how to save it so I can keep at least those three things, please let me know. It's a-buggin' me.

------------------------

The walk to headquarters was, for the most part, uneventful. Asuka walked far enough behind Shinji that she doubted he even noticed her there.

'If he was noticing me at all…' she thought to herself dryly. That thought just served to weigh her mind down that much more. After leaving class and the veritable social snubbing she received at the hands of the Third Child, she had decided to approach the strange situation the same way she had previous dilemmas, by analyzing what she knew and then formulating a plan to correct what the problem was. As she walked to NERV she picked apart what she knew of what was happening. This time, however, she was doing so while attempting to keep an open mind. The hours of self induced torture during school had only made her mind weary and let her aggressive, angry nature to take control. As she walked she watched Shinji walk ahead of her with his normal… calm… baka… demeanor.

A frown crept over the young redhead's face as she thought back to his reaction when she had punched him. It wasn't her usual love tap, that was for sure. Frankly, she was surprised at herself and a little worried. She had never wanted to hurt anyone so much as she had then and she was afraid the strike was due to a loss of control.

Asuka caught her bottom lip between her teeth as she thought through things. Her temper was explosive and sometimes got her into more trouble than it got her out of, but it was always a controlled anger. When she had punched the boy she was both in complete control of her body, and had absolutely no control over her mind… or emotions… or something.

She shivered.

'I don't like this…' Asuka thought to herself, then after a moment she added, 'I don't like any of this…'

Shinji stopped momentarily to swipe his card through the reader for the door, then entered the building. A few moments later Asuka swiped her card and went through as well, her mind on other things.

The long, desolate halls of NERV stretched out before the young german girl. She knew the way by heart and could get there without even paying attention, much as she had all the other times she had been there. This was both fortunate and unfortunate for her. She could continue her introspective thoughts which wouldn't be interrupted with frivolous things like getting lost. She half wanted to figure it all out and be on her emotional way, and half wanted a blessed distraction from having to deal with it. Why couldn't things just be normal?

'Because you decided to play a cruel, malicious joke on someone who didn't deser-'

"Shut up." the girl muttered to herself as she walked. That sole reproach took her thoughts in a completely different direction. One she was not ready for.

***

"Shinji…" Asuka began quietly. The boy she was addressing no longer got nervous at the change in her voice and attitude. Instead she could tell he was nervous because of other reasons.

"Y-yes, Asuka?" Shinji was finishing up dinner and getting ready to serve it for them. It was only Shinji and Asuka this evening, which suited Asuka just fine.

"Would you walk me to the store after dinner?"

The boy nodded warmly, "Sure." his gaze lingered on the girl a heartbeat longer than was necessary and he turned back to getting dinner.

As she watched him shuffle about Asuka couldn't help but think that the introverted boy had finally come out of his shell a bit. It wasn't overly dramatic, but the signs were there. She noticed he would speak more easily to her after she had stopped being intentionally mean to him. He seemed more comfortable with being himself and not worrying about reprimands. Once in a while, on rare occasions, he even spoke his mind… about trivial things at least.

Asuka was smiling as she watched the boy, without realizing it.

They ate dinner and talked about small things, nothing important. Asuka reigned in all the hurtful words she had for the boy, content in the fact that she would drop the Big One in another week or so and revel in it then.

She was finding it easier and easier to not be so angry and spiteful. The girl believed it to be in reaction to knowing what was to happen to the boy. The utterly thorough defeat of him at her hands. He would pay for all those times he beat her synch scores, all those times he was so smug and self-righteous towards her.

The girl blinked suddenly as she sat at the dinner table. She hadn't seen that side of him in weeks. He hadn't acted smug towards her, he hadn't said anything that rubbed his piloting abilities in her face. A wide grin spread across Asuka's features. He really had let his guard down, the time was coming soon. Obviously being friendly with one another had gotten him to drop his pretenses of making her life miserable. He trusted her.

Yes, the climax to this was going to be very sweet. Very sweet indeed.

"Are you ready to go?" Shinji asked, wiping his hands on the hand towel by the sink. The table was cleared and the only thing left was Asuka's cup of tea.

Asuka blinked again and glanced up at her target. "Huh? Oh… no. I don't think I'm going to go tonight. I changed my mind."

Shinji frowned and cocked his head to the side curiously. Normally it would take him nearly a full minute to stammer out his next question but recent events had allowed him to speak a bit more easily to the girl. "Is everything alright?"

Asuka could hear the concern in his voice and wanted both to snap at him for thinking she was so weak, but also to thank him for being considerate. The second desire only a fraction of a fleeting notion, but there… until she pointedly ignored it was there at all. She was able to not ruin her plans, however, and just repled, "Everything is fine. I just don't feel like going now."

Shinji thought for a moment and offered another warm smile, "Would you like me to go for you?"

The german redhead shook her head slowly, looking at the table. "No, it can wait." she paused for a moment and then said, "I'm going to read for a little while and then go to bed. Good night."

Shinji watched the girl rise and start out of the room, "Would you like me to bring you anything?" he asked quietly, wondering what had caused her sudden change in attitude.

"No… that's alright." was her reply.

"Well, good night then." he said and picked up her cup to wash.

Asuka walked to her room and closed the door quietly. Things were going well, as well as she had planned and that made her feel good. She wasn't smiling though. She wasn't even grinning.

At first it was hard to act tolerant of her roommate and fellow pilot. When she had asked him to go to the store she had planned on working to make her plan that much more reliable… but she decided against it. Not for the first time since it began she tried to think of her true motives and feelings.

Everything was going according to plan, and that was good. The words were there, and she knew the feeling of them… the idea behind them… but it all felt so empty.

***

Asuka stared at the door before her. A door she had never seen before.

"Level C-013?" she asked aloud. "Where the hell am I?"

Growling low she spun around and began walking back the way she had come, back down the long dark corridor.