It's so hard to be a teen-mutant-superhero By: Umbravulpes

Disclaimer: Lal lal laa, no-one reads this!

Authors Note: As a special treat I updated a little earlier than I thought I would. I was just feeling so energetic today, had to do something.

SCENE 16

The EPIC BATTLE continues!

(EPSTEIN is laughing like a loon, while the members of The X.F.G.O.N.D.A.P.D.S.P. are hiding behind the barricade)

KURT:

Zis is hopeless!

LANCE:

Come on Kitty, please wake up and rape my mouth.

SCOTT:

We mustn't give up hope! Isn't that right Jean?

JEAN:

(Is unconscious)

SCOTT:

Oh Jean! Why God ?!

ROGUE:

She's not dead you idiot! But I soon will be if my heel doesn't stop hurting! Now I'll never be a pretty ballerina!

PIETRO:

We have to do something! That guy's laughter is really starting to annoy me!

*DANCING TOWARDS DISASTER (The Hunting of the Snark)*

*PIETRO*

Forget the risks we are taking

Let it rain, let it hail, let it snow;

We could be wrong all along

But at least if we keep on we soon will know,

Although:

We could be dancing towards disaster

With every movement we make,

We could be dancing to disaster,

We could fall with every step we take.

We could be dancing towards disaster,

With every thrill that we share,

We could be dancing to disaster

But I get the feeling we don't care.

There is no time left for wasting

Looking back round the corners we've turned.

Don't count the cost or we're lost,

For the bridges we have crossed have all been burned,

And we've learned:

We could be dancing towards disaster

With every movement we make,

We could be dancing to disaster,

We could fall with every step we take.

We could be dancing towards disaster,

With every thrill that we share,

We could be dancing to disaster

But I get the feeling we don't care.

*ALL*

Dancing, dancing,

For all we know we're dancing to disaster.

Dancing, dancing

Dancing to disaster.

Dancing, dancing, dancing, dancing, dancing,

Dancing to disaster.

We could be dancing towards disaster

With every movement we make,

We could be dancing to disaster,

We could fall with every step we take.

We could be dancing towards disaster,

With every thrill that we share,

We could be dancing to disaster

But I get the feeling we don't care.

We don't care.

We don't care.

FRED:

Lets attack!

(The X.F.G.O.N.D.A.P.D.S.P. minus KITTY and JEAN, leap to the top of the barricade)

SCOTT:

You shall fall, oh ye villanous scum!

(SCOTT loses his ballance and topples of the barricade)

KURT:

Zere goes our fearless leader.

(The rest of them jump down and take heroic poses)

EPSTEIN:

Oh, ready for another round are we?

TODD:

I'll show you for name calling my mama, yo. Amphibian kick!

(TODD attempts to kick EPSTEIN, but he dodges the kick and TODD goes flying staight into a tree)

TODD:

Oooh, look at pretty birdies...

(TODD faints)

KURT:

You bastard! Look vhat you did to my ex-rival-turned-boyfriend!

EPSTEIN:

What can I say? I have a knack for these things.

KURT:

Du Sohn eines Weibchens (You son of a bitch)! Fuzzy elven bamf!

(KURT bamf behind EPSTEIN and trips him with his tail)

EPSTEIN:

Ew, creepy tail! I mean... Arrows of pain!

KURT:

Oh my God! It feels like every strand of my fur is beeing picked of!

(KURT faints)

PIETRO:

Why don't we just throw Fred on Epstein so he can crush him with his enormous ass.

FRED:

I'm not fat, goddamnit!

SCOTT:

We are a team! We must attack as one!

(They do just that)

LANCE:

Earth tremor!

PIETRO:

Speeding fury!

FRED:

Big boned punch!

SCOTT:

Blasting glance of destruction!

EPSTEIN:

Ultimate wave of pain!

(LANCE, PIETRO, FRED and SCOTT all faint)

ROGUE:

And then, there was one.

(Dramatic music)

Author's Note: That was kinda on the short side, but I wanted to cut it at the right moment. Next we will hear a lot of boring talk about THE PAST. OOOH, such excitement! Hold on to your internal organs!