LP HP: Second Dose- A Story in Twenty-Eight Snippets

by Tavalya Ra

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J. K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Rowling is a goddess; may she have mercy on my soul for writing this.

Author's Notes: Thank you to Mawkish for putting me up to the challenge of writing this and to everyone who read and commented upon the story in April- especially Skip, who never failed to make me laugh.

To Exwhyzed- Severus is hardly thrilled about being pregnant. Having a family was not one of his life goals. To vita brevis- no, the chapters are not mixed up. They are precisely in the order that I wished to present them. As noted, Snippet #3 is a flashback.

If anyone wishes to archive this story on his or her site, please contact me at clearbluedelphia@yahoo.com.

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Snippet #4: Mental Images

Steeling himself, Harry stepped into the Great Hall. Severus was not seated at the head table; he generally breakfasted in the cabin with Sirius. However, if the Potions Master had still lived in the castle, Harry had little doubt he would have made a point to lock himself in his room this morning, for Hogwarts was about to receive a most unusual notice. Once all the students were settled, Dumbledore tapped his spoon against his goblet, commanding their attention.

"I have an announcement to make," he said. "Until further notice, all formal Potions classes are canceled."

Three-fourths of the student body- none of which wore green- cheered. The remaining fourth glanced at each other anxiously. Even the faculty seemed a bit started; Harry surmised Dumbledore that had not informed them of the situation.

The headmaster continued, "All students will have in-class reading assignments, which will be lead by myself until a substitute teacher has been found. Rest assured, there is no cause for alarm on behalf of Professor Snape. Our Potions Master is quite well. He is simply taking a maternity leave. Thank you."

And with that, breakfast apparated onto the table.

Ron blinked. "I must have not heard right. Did Dumbledore say that Snape was on a maternity leave?"

Harry nodded. "Yes, he did."

An odd look crossed Ron's face. "Why would Snape be on a maternity leave?"

Suppressing a mischievous grin, Harry answered frankly, "Well, because he's pregnant, Ron."

"Oh," said Ron. "WHAT?!"

The entire table lapsed into a stunned silence. All eyes faceted themselves upon Harry and Ron.

From over Ron's shoulder, Seamus asked, "Snape is pregnant? How?"

With a resigned sigh, Harry explained, "He brewed a potion that… uh… gave him… women parts…"

"A uterus and ovaries," Hermione specified for him. "And probably a va-"

"Thank you, Hermione!" Ron declared, clamping his hand firmly over the Head Girl's mouth. Turning to Seamus, he remarked, "I don't see why you're so interested. Just thinking of Snape being… being… Ugh."

Hermione zapped Ron's hand away with her wand and declared, "I think it's sweet."

"I think it's sad," Neville, who was sitting at Harry's left, countered. "Nobody wants Snape or his baby."

"That's not true!" Harry exclaimed adamantly. As the others regarded him with incredulous stares, he stuttered to explain, "Um… well… what I mean is… Listen- I've spent the past two summers with Snape and he's… he's not so bad."

"Not so bad!" Neville rejoined. "Harry, he hated you!"

"Well, he doesn't anymore. And he…" Harry sighed. "I know more about Snape than the rest of you. The problem's not that nobody wanted to be with him- it's that he doesn't want to be with anybody. But… uh… he still wanted someone to, you know, carry on the Snape name, so he decided to do it himself."

For several moments, no one said anything.

"Snape's a freak," Seamus concluded.

Harry shrugged. "Well… maybe."

"Hey," he said, "Snape has woman parts but does he still have… you know…"

Harry blinked. "What? How should I know?"

"Well, you did live with him."

"That doesn't mean I know! He doesn't exactly walk around the house naked!"

"Would you people stop giving me mental images!" Ron shouted.

Neville looked at him strangely. "You're getting mental images?"

"Gah!" he screamed.

"Well, somebody's not comfortable with their sexuality," Hermione remarked.

"'Mione that's not funny."