LP HP: Second Dose- A Story in Twenty-Eight Snippets

by Tavalya Ra

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J. K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Rowling is a goddess; may she have mercy on my soul for writing this.

Author's Notes: Thank you to Mawkish for putting me up to the challenge of writing this and to everyone who read and commented upon the story in April- especially Skip, who never failed to make me laugh.

To Ryoko- Enigma's Kitten- Fanfiction.net was acting up yesterday. Thankfully, the chapter registered with the system after a few hours. To Exwhyzed- "ex-Death Eater spy" is hardly a title that implies mental stability.

If anyone wishes to archive this story on his or her site, please contact me at clearbluedelphia@yahoo.com.

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Snippet #7: Just a Lump

"'Severus G. Snape,'" Sirius read aloud from the top Pomfrey's medical report. "What does the 'G' stand for? Gorgeous?"

"None of your damn business!" Severus snapped.

Sirius winced. "Okay. Grouchy," he muttered.

Severus's mood had taken a predictably sour turn as his pregnancy had progressed. While he had yet to switch to maternity robes, his abdomen had begun to round and he was not at all happy with the development.

"According to Pomfrey, everything's normal. Not that I conceive how anything about this situation could possibly be classified as normal," Severus huffed.

"Mmm…" Sirius agreed, flipping the page.

His thoughts came to an abrupt halt as he realized what was on the last piece of parchment. Somehow, Pomfrey had used a special charm to transfer a gray scale image onto the page. It wasn't much, but it was enough to take Sirius's breath away.

"Oh my God," he whispered. "Is that…?"

"Oh yes," Severus remarked dryly. "I thought you might want to see that."

"It's our baby."

Behind him, he heard Severus snort. "Please. Right now it's just a lump."

Sirius whirled around, exclaiming, "How can you say that! It's growing inside you!"

Severus was not looking at him. His arms were folded, his eyes were directed to the floor, and his face was completely passive. A bit too passive, Sirius thought.

"Sev?" he asked. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, I'm fine," he said a bit haughtily. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Is there something you want to talk about?"

He looked up and glared. "I'm sorry if I'm not as enthusiastic about this as you. This hasn't exactly been a fun experience for me and it's not going to get any better. The transfiguration was painful, morning sickness was a bitch, and now I need to pee incessantly. I can't wait to start waddling!"

Sirius sighed. "All of that is temporary, Severus. Look, I'd offer to carry the baby if it was possible-"

"You?" he snorted. "I don't trust you to fry an egg. You really think I'd let you carry a baby?"

Sirius growled in exasperation. "I don't understand you at all sometimes!"

"I'm hungry. I'm going into the kitchen," was all Severus said. He began to walk away.

"You're not going to eat potion ingredients again, are you?" Sirius called after him.

"Can I help it if I have odd cravings?"

"Odd?" Sirius repeated. "I think newt eyeballs with toad's blood and chocolate sauce goes a bit beyond 'odd.' Is it even safe?"

"Give me some credit for being a Potions Master!" Severus snapped over his shoulder as he stood in the doorframe to the kitchen. "I know what combinations to avoid so I don't brew a potion in my stomach!"

As Severus ducked into the kitchen, Sirius decided to stay in the living room. He did not want to watch.