LP HP: Second Dose- A Story in Twenty-Eight Snippets

by Tavalya Ra

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J. K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Rowling is a goddess; may she have mercy on my soul for writing this.

Author's Notes: Thank you to Mawkish for putting me up to the challenge of writing this and to everyone who read and commented upon the story in April- especially Skip, who never failed to make me laugh.

I am sincerely sorry for the delay in uploading this snippet. My weekend was quite hectic. Friday, I graduated from high school. :-)

To Exwhyzed- Dumbledore means well. I personally don't believe he is as meddlesome as most people think. He knows things must take their natural course; Chimera did ask first. You can't wait until he starts waddling? My, aren't you sadistic? To manic- Severus respects Dumbledore greatly. It would take more for him to blow up at the headmaster (say, the mysterious disappearance of a wanted convict he once considered his worst enemy) that it would for most people. To Akemi- sorry, no Harry/Remus. Although it was somewhat present in "Everybody in the Room," I am personally uncomfortable with the pairing. No offence to any Harry/Remus fans- the pairing deserves an author who can do it justice. Thank you also to Alla and Futon for reviewing.

If anyone wishes to archive this story on his or her site, please contact me at clearbluedelphia@yahoo.com.

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Snippet #9: For the Love of Circe

Severus finally conceded defeat in the losing battle with his body. He was pregnant to the point that it was impossible to conceal and his walk had become a waddle. As if the outward symptoms of his condition weren't enough, the baby announced its presence frequently with a jab to the stomach.

"Well, at least I'm healthy," he declared sourly as Remus lead him from the Infirmary, a large black dog trotting beside them.

"By Merlin!" exclaimed a voice that was utterly appalled.

A tall, thin woman with black eyes and graying hair stalked down the hall towards Severus. Her face was sharp and her nose straight and small. She wore a crimson dress that did little to flatter the sallow tone of her skin.

Eyes flashing at Severus, the woman declared, "When Headmaster Dumbledore said you were expecting a child, I though you had straightened yourself out and stopped dallying with men. But this! What have you done to yourself!"

Severus defensively rested his right hand on the bulge of his belly and sneered. "It should be obvious what I have 'done' to myself. The question is, what are you doing here, Mother?"

"I came to meet your wife!" Chimera Snape snapped. "Not witness my son's one-man freak show! Knowing you, you brewed the potion that did this to you yourself, didn't you? For the love of Circe, since when have men had babies?"

She turned to Remus. She studied him intently for a few moments, then narrowed her eyes and announced accusingly, "I remember you. You almost killed Severus."

Padfoot whimpered.

"I advise you not to cause a scene," Severus warned.

Chimera ignored him. "If you're the father of my son's… thing…"

"I assure you, madam, I am not!" Remus exclaimed heartily.

Furious, Severus shouted in exasperation. "He's not the father of my child- a test tube is! What would ever possess you to think that I would sleep with him!"

"Considering what's on your arm, I can't be too sure of your standards," she spat.

Severus clenched his fists and his teeth. His temper was on the verge of exploding and Chimera's only source of amnesty was that at that moment, Harry Potter- followed by the other two members of the terrible trio, Granger and Weasley- entered the corridor. Chimera's eyes espied the boy's scar and lit up.

"Harry Potter!" she exclaimed, rushing forward. "Come give your grandmother a hug!"

"Wha-" Harry began, as Chimera crushed the boy against her chest.

"He is not your grandson!" Severus snapped.

"Well, you did adopt him, didn't you?" she retorted. "And that's probably the one good thing you've done so far with your life!"

Harry, his mouth partially opened in an effort not to gag under Chimera's choke hold, glanced at Severus with eyes that clearly pleaded, "Help me."

When Chimera finally released him, Harry took a deep breath and blinked. "Um… hello, Mrs.… Snape?"

Chimera sighed. "Oh, of course, you don't know who I am! Yes, I'm Chimera Snape, Severus's mother."

"Unfortunately," the Potions Master added.

Chimera shot him a quick glare. "Don't be impudent!" She turned back to Harry. "Can you believe any child of mine would be a Slytherin?"

"You're… you're not a Slytherin?" the boy inquired nervously.

She laughed. "Merlin, no! I'm a Gryffindor!"

As Remus and the trio's four jaws all dropped, Severus hid his face in his hands.

God, if you have any mercy, just kill me now.

"Yes," his mother agreed, "you wouldn't know that from him."

Rejoining, Severus growled, "There is nothing wrong with Slytherin House."

Chimera sniffed. "Yes, you're living proof of that," she sneered.

"Mother…" he warned.

"Thank goodness your father talked me out of what I originally wanted to name you!" she exclaimed. "It would have been an embarrassment! It's bad enough it's your middle name, Severus Godric Snape!"

The only possible mercy Severus could conceive of at that moment was an instantaneous death.

Weasley covered his mouth and nose with his hands in a poor attempt to stifle a loud snort of laughter that prompted Granger to exclaim, "Ron!"

"I haven't been to Hogwarts in years," Chimera said to Harry. "If your Head of House wouldn't mind, I would love to see my old common room."

Take her, Severus mouthed desperately to Harry.

"I don't see why not," the Boy-Who-Lived replied timidly, clearly intimidated by Chimera. "Um… this way…"

Chimera followed the trio from the hall. Once Severus was certain they were out of earshot, he opened his mouth and screamed.

"You middle name is Godric?" Remus asked incredulously.

"Shut up!" Severus shouted. "Just shut UP!"

Managing the best stalk he could under the circumstances, he stomped his way to the South Tower, Padfoot barking at his heels.