ADDICTED
by: FiendisHSerapH

- Part Three -

And I am now back in my room. I noticed that the playing song is about to end. Hah, I won't mind it for now for I feel so bothered and so intoxicated of this feeling. You know, the feeling of uncertainty over someone whom you are deeply concerned with. Geez, now my cheesy and emotional side is showing up. I sat on my desk and flipped the page of my book lifelessly as if there's no force acting on my body.

The song has ended, and I am waiting for the next song to play just to chase this distracting feeling away. At last, the song started with the cool riff of bass and electric guitars and loud beating of drums. I found myself banging my head to the beat. This is better than those cheesy romantic songs I've been hearing on FM lately.

The vocals started, and I flipped the CD booklet to see the lyrics for the song. "Addicted" was the title and upon reading it I seem to get the gist of the piece. I followed the vocals with the lyrics.

"I heard you're doing okay
but I want you to know
I'm a dick
I'm addicted to you."

The first few lyrics already caught my attention! It seemed to me that this boy is so far away with that "You" whom he's addicted onto and that he's already being an idiot just to prove that he's addicted to that "You".

Oh, nice lyrics... it hit me.

"I can't pretend I don't care
When you don't think about me."

Does she think about me just as I think about her this moment? This question popped into my head upon hearing those lines. Maybe by now she's unaware that I am still existing in this planet! GAH! She's stupid. If only there's a way to tell her that, "Hey, I am still here; alive and kicking... YUHOO!" If only...

"Do you think I deserve this?
I tried to make you happy
But you left anyway."

This hit me straight to the heart! All the times I enter their (Yoh's and hers) household I am always not the visitor, but the SERVANT! I follow her every command as if I am a manipulated marionette. I did everything within my strength . I even swallowed my pride to do such things as dusting appliances, cleaning the sink and even their toilet. All of these I have done and conquered just for her and to show her how much of a loyal person I am.

And yet...

"There! I am already done!" I called as I finished my work for the day
She comes and looks around, "Good. Now you may go."
"But..."
"I said, You may go." she turned away and closes the door.

Without even a simple "thank you" or a smile! Ah, I can't take that!" (yet sometimes I wonder if she really had smiled even once in her whole darn life) I don't deserve such reward. Then, why have I done all those things? It's just because I want to prove to her that I am ready to take her, no matter how much pain it causes (but then again, I HATE BEING A SERVANT. AUGH!)

"I'm trying to forget that
I'm addicted to you.
but I want it and I need it.
I'm addicted to you.
Now it's over, can't forget what you said
And I never wanna do this again
Heartbreaker."

Yet, how much I steer clear away from her, her face always haunts me. She has this aura that is so irresistable about her, even in my dreams, her commands always follow me. It seems to me that I will gladly follow as long as she's on command. Aren't I so addicted to her? I wanted to see her smile and I need to see that she's still vulnerable and human after all (in contrast to what I see of her as a goddess and a cunning itako.)

"Since the day I met you
And after all we've been through
Still a dick
I'm addicted to you."

Yeah, since the day I saw her (in fact, I thought of her as Yoh's elder sister) I was already madly addicted. She's just so cute to resist. And yet, after I've known her as a scary itako, I came to love her more instead of doing the opposite. If only there's a way to tell these things to her... if only I could say that there's still someone who's willing to accept her for being the bossy girl that she is, and that there's someone who wants to take her command, no matter how hard it is.

"I guess you know that it's true
I'd run a thousand miles to get you.
Do you think I deserve this?"

Nah, maybe she doesn't see all the efforts that I have made. I am ready to sacrifice (only if there's food in return! ) for her and even give up my freedom (hehe, it feels good to be a captive of a pretty girl like her ) Nah, I tried everything; all means to prove this still I can't make her look my way...

And now I DON'T wonder why she would NEVER look my way...

"I'm trying to forget that
I'm addicted to you.
but I want it and I need it.
I'm addicted to you.
Now it's over, can't forget what you said
And I never wanna do this again
Heartbreaker."

"Brother, Yoh's on the phone!" Pirika called yet again from the outside.

Oh, Yoh! Yes, now there's still a chance to ask him.

"I'm coming!" I shouted. This time, upon taking interest on the song, I paused the CD and went downstairs to confirm my fears.

FOOTNOTES: Once again, I am through giving you the latest installment for this fic. The last (probably) part will be posted next time. (I have no idea when that time will be) that's it, and sorry for my redundancy (I did this to emphasize so pardon if I distracted you all) Keep all those reviews coming... NO FLAMES! Jaa!