Chapter 6

Keelin was furious when she heard the news.  She walked into the scullery the next morning, feeling bruised and battered and resigned to the idea of another day full of the drudgery of scullery labor.  Before she could even pick up her first dish, Nan appeared before her.

            "It seems that you are too fine a lady to be doing the dishes," Nan said, her voice thick with sarcasm.  "You claim that you are not 'is 'ighness's whore, yet you are shown the type of favor that is typical of such a woman."

            "What are you saying?" Keelin asked, her voice like ice.

            "'is 'ighness has personally ordered that you be removed from the scullery in favor of the sewing chambers.  It seems you are to 'ave a much more comfortable position after all."

            Keelin could feel her fists clenching at her sides.  She was grateful to the man for saving her, but she wondered why he felt the right to meddle in her life.  He was making things increasingly difficult for her and she was growing to appreciate his interference less and less.  She had no idea what his motivation could be in moving her to a more prestigious position, but she strongly suspected that it had something to do with her former position with the Earl.  The prince seemed to think that she was withholding information and he was trying to gain her confidence by any means necessary.  She had no idea exactly what sort of information he thought she was withholding, for she had told him everything she knew.

            She stewed silently for a moment, trying to decide what to do.  She was tempted to ignore Nan, pick up a dish, and begin scrubbing, but no matter how furious she was, she knew better than to disobey her sovereign.

            "Very well," she replied, cold fury sounding clearly in her voice.  "You may think what you will and I know what that is, but the truth is that I did not seek out His Highness's favor.  I would be just as happy to scrub dishes as I will be to embroider gowns.  There may be those who think it acceptable to aspire to a higher position, but I know of the natural order of things.  All that has occurred with me has been beyond my control.  Think what you will, but I have never been and never will be His Highness's woman."  With that, Keelin turned away from Nan and saw a servant with a kind face standing in the doorway.

            "Mistress Keelin?" the woman asked.

            "Aye," Keelin replied, stepping forward.

            "I have come to show you to the sewing chamber," the other woman said.  Her gaze was kind, almost sympathetic.  She had a sweetly pretty face and very pale skin that lent her the aura of an otherworldly being.  Keelin did not think that she could be much older than Keelin herself was.

            "You have my thanks," Keelin replied, walking away from Nan without looking back.

            The two women walked through the corridor silently for a moment, moving around clumps of servant men and the young boys who served as pages.  In the house of the earl, Keelin had rarely seen such hustle and bustle.  It had always been a rather calm and quiet household.  The old earl rarely had company, preferring to meet with his friends at court rather than in his home.  His country home had always been a sacred place of refuge for him and Keelin found that she was beginning to long for its quiet, peaceful atmosphere.  She wondered if she would ever get used to being around such a clutch of people at all times.

            The woman who had come to get Keelin cleared her throat discreetly and Keelin could tell that there was something she wanted to say, so she decided to break the ice. 

            "You have shown that you already know me by name.  Might I beg for the privilege of knowing yours?" Keelin asked, her voice deferential.

            "Oh, excuse me, mistress.  You may certainly know my name.  I am Alinda," the young woman answered.

            "I pray you, call me Keelin.  Thank you for your kindness in leading me to the sewing chamber."

            "Pray call me Alinda as well.  Indeed, 'twas my pleasure to lead you.  I so rarely see sections of the castle that are different from the one in which I work.  Mind you, that is not meant as a complaint.  I consider it a high blessing that I am fortunate enough to work here as I do.  I merely mean that 'tis nice to have a change of scene once in a while."

            Keelin smiled, finding that she liked this young woman.  "Indeed, I could not agree more, although I confess that I find myself somewhat confused by the constant motion of the palace."

            "So, you are not from the palace, then?" the young woman asked, casting a covert glance at Keelin.      

            So that was what she had wanted to ask.  "Indeed, I am not.  I was all my life in the service of the good Earl and Countess of Essex at their county estate.  I am only come here these last three years in the service of their son, the young earl."

            "Pray, forgive me for my curiosity.  I wanted to ask if 'twas indeed you.  I have heard much about you."           

"I doubt not that you have," Keelin said, suddenly weary.  She told herself that she had been stupid to get her hopes up, to think that she might actually find a friend in Alinda.

            "Much that is without truth, I am certain," Alinda added.  She stopped suddenly, turning to Keelin with a kind smile.  "There are those who are always jealous of any special attention received by others, even if that attention is not sought."

            Keelin smiled back at her.  "Thank you, Alinda.  You are very kind."

            "You must ignore the cruelty of the scullery servants.  They are made bitter by their work.  We, as seamstresses, are most fortunate in that the load we bear is not quite so heavy.  I hope you will find that we are a warm and trusting bunch of women.  I hope you will embrace us as we intend to embrace you."  Alinda smiled very benevolently at Keelin, soothing the other woman's every nerve.

            "How kind you are," Keelin replied softly.  "I only hope that I may somehow return your kindness."

            Alinda smiled once again, but did not speak.  Instead, she resumed her pace and Keelin followed with a much lighter heart.  When they reached the sewing chamber, Alinda introduced her to the twelve other women who worked there as well.  Most were much older than Keelin and Alinda and a few were younger, but they were all very kind.  Keelin could not help but breathe a sigh of relief.

            Alinda showed her what she was to do and was very pleased to see that Keelin was a fine sewer.  "My mistress, Lady Eleanor, taught me," Keelin said.  "Bless her soul; she was always very kind to me.  I could not have asked for a better mistress."

            "She must have been very talented indeed, judging by your own talent," Alinda said, kindly.

            The two women spoke very little for the remainder of the day.  Their work required much concentration, so there was very little noise in the chamber.  Keelin found the silence extremely soothing, especially when compared to the cacophony that was the scullery and the dining hall.  Still, she continued to be angry that she had been promoted as she had and she was also apprehensive about what effect this great kindness might have on the scullery servants.  Even if she did find a friend in Alinda, Keelin knew there were many more servants in whom she would not.  Not everyone was as pure of heart as Alinda, that much Keelin could see clearly. 

            She was sewing away and brooding over these thoughts when a page boy entered the chamber and announced to her that that prince requested an audience with her.  She looked up from her work and glanced around the chamber a little frantically.  The women looked surprised, but she did not see the same look of condemnation on their faces that she had witnessed on the faces of the scullery servants. 

"His Highness's wish is my command," Keelin answered, although she found that, truth be told, she would much rather deny His Highness's wishes in this case.  "Where and at what time am I to meet with His Highness?"

            "You are to follow me now," the boy replied.

            "As His Highness desires," she answered.  She rose from her chair, setting her sewing carefully aside.  Alinda caught her eye and sent her a reassuring smile before Keelin turned to follow the boy.

            As they walked through the hall silently, Keelin began to mentally prepare herself.  As angry as she was, she knew that she would have to thank the prince for his kindness in finding her such a comfortable position.  At any rate, she knew that her anger with him would melt once she saw him.  For all his kindness, the prince was still an intimidating man.  He was still just a man in general.  Considering what she had suffered at Mordrid's hand, Keelin sincerely doubted that she would ever trust another again for as long as she lived.  Prince or no prince, this man was no exception.

*****

            Rhain paced the length of his study impatiently.  He had wanted to have Edwyn with him, but the other man had pointed out that his presence there would surely prevent the girl from talking.  She was skittish enough as it was around the prince.  A strange man's presence would surely only inhibit her further.  Rhain had seen the wisdom in this argument and had reluctantly agreed with his friend.  He was to meet with the girl alone.

            The sound of the door opening interrupted his thoughts.  One of his pages entered, followed by the servant.  The two of them curtseyed before him and he waved his hand, indicating that the page was free to go.  The boy left quickly, closing the chamber door behind him.

            "Good morrow, Keelin.  Would you care to sit?" Rhain asked casually, as if she had been his guest many times before.

            "Good morrow, Your Highness.  If it pleases Your Highness, I would rather stand," she replied.  She still sounded timid, but her voice seemed stronger than the day before.  This pleased the prince.

            "As you wish.  How do you find your new position?" he asked her, continuing with the niceties.

            "'Tis most pleasing, although I do wish Your Highness would not concern yourself with me.  I am merely a servant girl and am happy to serve my king in any way that I may."  Rhain was surprised at this answer and surprised at the vehemence in her voice.  In fact, it made him a little bit angry.

            "I thought you might be more grateful for my interference, especially considering the delicate state of your health," he said to her.

            He was astonished to see a flash of anger play over her features.  She looked as if she were trying to compose herself and was fighting a losing battle.  After a moment, she spoke again, "The gesture was most kind, although I do not feel myself worthy of His Highness's concern."  Even if the shift was involuntary, Rhain did not fail to notice how she changed to referring to him in the third person.  He felt his own anger flare.

            "How different you do seem," he mused.  "You were much more grateful when I saved your life."  The moment he said it, he regretted it.  In fact, he could not believe that he had even spoken the words out loud.  The whole interview was going badly indeed.  He was normally a fairly kind man, even if he did not show much regard for his servants.  And now that he had thought of one of them and shown her some kindness, she chose to become insolent with him.  He would not have thought it possible.  He wondered what had happened to the weak, terrified slip of a girl that he had rescued.

            Keelin drew her chin up and met his gaze for once.  "I am aware of the debt that I owe to Your Highness and that 'tis one that I may never repay.  I am certain that Your Highness has the best of intentions, but I wish that my life would not be interfered with just the same."

            Rhain's anger blazed forth now.  Just who did this servant think she was?  "Woman, are you aware that you speak to your sovereign lord and master?"

            "It would be difficult for me not to be aware of it," she snapped.  She looked surprised at her words and it was obvious to Rhain that her self-control was unraveling as she continued on with her outburst.  "As grateful as I may be to Your Highness for saving my life, I am not grateful for these special attentions.  I am most capable of performing any type of work and I do not aspire to rise above my situation."

            "And what, pray, do you mean by that?" Rhain asked coldly.

            The woman held herself steady, looking stronger by the minute.  "I may have suffered at the hands of the former earl, but I never suffered any stains upon my honor.  Now I am rescued and brought to the castle to find that I have lost the thing that I treasure more than even my life.  I have lost my honor."

            "What does that have to do with me?" the prince demanded.

            "Perhaps 'twill interest Your Highness to know that I now carry the title of His Highness's whore," she said, almost casually.  The blush that crept upon her cheeks was barely perceptible.

            "What insolence is this?" Rhain roared in disbelief.  "How dare you allow people to call you that!  How dare you allow people to think that..."     

"What?" she interrupted, her own voice roaring.  "How dare I allow them to think that you, one human being, might have an interest in me, another human being?  I may be lowlier than a flea in your eyes, but I am as human as you or anyone else who walks the floors of this castle.  I once thought you kind, but now I see the depth of your lack of concern for those who would grovel before you and call you master.  Those who would die for you!  You may think of me and my kind as salt of the Earth, but it would serve you well to realize that 'tis my kind that keeps you fed, that keeps you in fine clothing, that keeps you living in comfort, and that dies for you when necessary.  I confess that I do not know what you could possibly want from me and why you persist in showing me these attentions.  As it stands, I will remove myself from your presence.  I will not have myself known as your whore.  I would rather die than be thought of as any man's whore."  Keelin practically growled these last few words before turning on her heel and swiftly leaving the chamber, slamming the chamber door behind her.

            Rhain was completely flabbergasted.  He could not believe that the woman had spoken to him in such a manner, especially after all that he had done for her.  Still, he found that her words stung, even if he did not know why.  Resolutely, he pushed the pain that her words had inflicted aside.  His conscious was clear.

            Or is it? asked the little voice at the back of his mind.  Was there not some truth in that girl's words?  Did you not attempt to use her as a pawn, just as your father does with you?  Do you not despise your father for such behavior?  In truth, are you really so different from your father?  Think, prince, think.  How often have you used such "salt of the Earth," as she called them, as your pawns?  Have you ever truly given a thought to them?

            Angrily, Rhain smashed his fist down on the table.  He cursed the woman for causing this crisis of conscience within him.  The imperial, arrogant side of him said that she should be punished, but the human side of him knew that he would not punish her in any way.  The human side of him knew that there was truth in her words and that he had deserved to hear what she had said.

            In fact, the more he thought about it, the more he could see his crime.  The woman had been so ill used by her former master, treated worse than the man treated his beasts.  She had borne it and survived it and been afraid to reveal it when it came time.  He now knew that part of the source of her unease was the fact that the servants were gossiping.  It was very likely that they were shunning her and mistreating her over what they jealously saw as special attentions given to her.  And he, arrogant fool that he was, had only bestowed these attentions in order to get what he wanted from her.  He had never stopped to think about what effect it would have on her life and he found that he was heartily sorry for it.

            Still, the fact remained that he really did need to speak with her, to see if she had any other helpful information to offer about her former master.  Instead of using her, he would now ask for her help in a straightforward manner.  He owed that much to her and in spite of how she must now feel about him, he knew that she would still help.  She had said as much when she spoke of her concern for the kingdom now that Mordrid was on the loose. 

            Any way he looked at it, Rhain realized that he would have to speak with her again.  First, he would give her some time to cool down.  When he finally did speak with her again, he would treat her much differently than he had this time.  He would treat her with more respect.  In the meantime, he would not tell a soul of what had passed between them.  He was the one who deserved to be punished for what had happened in his chamber, not her.  As bitter of a pill as it was to swallow, he would take his medicine and he would learn from the experience.

*****

            Keelin stalked swiftly through the corridors of the castle, fueled by her rage.  However, the closer she got to the sewing chamber, the more the rage wore off and the more it was replaced by the frightening realization of what she had just done.  Just before she reached the sewing chamber, she stopped in the deserted corridor and felt a sense of fear overtake her.

            She could not believe that what had just happened with the prince had actually happened.  In fact, she fervently wished that she would wake up to find that it had all just been a very bad dream.  The reality was much too terrible to deal with.  She was sure to be punished and punished severely.

            I deserve it, she told herself.  I deserve to be punished to the fullest extent of the king's law.  How dare I speak to the prince in that manner!  Who do I think myself to be?  The prince may do as he pleases and I have no right to question his actions.  In fact, if he wanted to go around telling everyone that I was his whore, it would be his right.  He is ordained by God and man and I presume to put him in his place?

            Yet, there was a part of her that did not regret what she had done, that did not think she deserved to be punished for it.  The prince had been kind in rescuing her, but it seemed he was possessed of a very arrogant and selfish nature.  It was clear to her that he had never in his life concerned himself with the feelings and troubles of those who were of a lower station than him.  In fact, she was now quite convinced that he had scarcely noticed their existence. 

            But was this truly his fault?  She knew that nobles such as her former master and mistress were very uncommon.  Most had been raised to believe that they were better than peasants and servants.  Could they truly be blamed for their resulting behavior?  Such questions whirled around and around in her mind until her head began to ache.  She became aware that she had been absent from her work for some time and she hurried into the sewing chamber.  None of the women there blinked an eye.  She knew that they must be dying of curiosity, but not a one of them even acted as if anything out of the ordinary had happened.  Keelin was very thankful for their discretion and their sense of propriety.

            At the end of the day, the women all shuffled out of the chamber and down to the servants' mess, where they would be served their final meal of the day.  Keelin filed out along with them, not speaking to anyone.  After a moment, Alinda caught up with her.

            "How did you find your first day of labor?" Alinda asked her.

            "I am very grateful for it," Keelin answered.  "My only wish is that my hands might serve the king for as long as they are able."

            Alinda smiled at her.  "That is my wish as well.  I often feel that there might be better ways for me to serve His Majesty, but I am blessed to be able to do anything to help His Majesty, no matter how small the task."

            "His Majesty has a most valuable servant in you," Keelin said, honestly.  Impulsively, she added, "You are so good Alinda.  I could only aspire to be more like you."

            "My sins are no less than yours," Alinda insisted.

            "You may be surprised," Keelin murmured.

            Alinda looked her full in the face.  "I am only surprised that someone could suffer as you have and yet remain as good as you have.  I fear that had I been in your situation, I would have become a very changed person indeed."

            The other servant's praise made Keeling uncomfortable.  "Please, Alinda, I am not worthy of your admiration.  I only suffered what was my lot to suffer."

            "'Tis no one's lot to suffer at the hands of a man as unreasonably cruel as the earl.  You deserved none of what your received."

            "Perhaps, but I am of no consequence.  I am merely a servant.  The former earl's greatest sin is that he was not a faithful servant to his king," Keelin replied.

            "Indeed," Alinda agreed.  "There is no greater sin than that."

            Keelin felt a twinge of conscience.  "Indeed there is not," she agreed.