So the Dragonball Z guys took Susan back to their universe. As predicted, she transformed into MaRietTA-suZANnE and easily destroyed the GENERIC EVIL MONSTER. Hooray.
"Great. Now send her back to her own universe." said Kibito flatly.
"But she's really pretty!" complained Rou Kaioshin, "And she's a girl... Can I keep her? Pleeeease?"
"SHE IS NOT REALLY PRETTY! Didn't you see her before she transformed? She was fat, and ugly, and she smelt of old cabbage, and…"
"Hey, I saved your universe," said MaRietTA-suZANnE, appearing in front of him. "You should be thankful."
"But I wanted to save the universe this time, to prove to Kaioshin-sama that I'm better than Gohaaan…!" whined Kibito, then realised that he sounded like a child. "Uh… I mean…"
"You? Save the universe?" MaRietTA-suZANnE sounded surprised. "What could you have done? Healed the GENERIC EVIL MONSTER to death?"
"I could have… Um… Well… At least I would never wear a taco as a hat!" he answered pathetically. MaRietTA-suZANnE stared at him thoughtfully.
"You really need to start being nice to people, Kibito. I mean, you don't want to be Mr Grouchypants forever, do you?"
Kibito searched his brain for the right answer. There had to be something he could say that wouldn't make him look childish…
"Yes."
That wasn't it.
MaRietTA-suZANnE stared at him some more. Then she sighed.
"OK. I'm going to refer you to a friend of mine, for some Nice Lessons." She smiled condescendingly. "He can also teach you how to be a grown-up, if you'd like."
She waved her hand, and Kibito disappeared.
~~~~~
"Hi, Mr Kibito! Remember me? It's me, Goten!"
"What? Goten? What are you… oh, no…"
"I'm going to teach you how to be NICE!" exclaimed Goten, "This is going to be so much fun! … Now, do you want to play with the fire truck first, or the red car? Mr Kibito?"
~~~~~
"Kibito needs Nice Lessons," said Rou Kaioshin, wandering over to where everyone else was sitting.
"Nice… Lessons?" Goku was confused, as usual. "Well… uh… I guess that's a good idea…"
Kaioshin thought for a while, then decided to have a flashback.
(NOTE: The author apologizes for the following bad pun/Simpsons reference)
~~~flashback~~~
Lenny: So long, mental plan!
Kaioshin: We had a mental plan?
Carl: Oh, yeah. It covered treatment for all mental illnesses, as well as any personality - improving lessons anyone living on the same planet as you might need!
~~~/flashback~~~
Lenny and Rou Kaioshin's voices echoed in non-Rou Kaioshin's head.
"Mental plan!"
"Kibito needs Nice Lessons."
"Mental plan!"
"Kibito needs Nice Lessons."
"Mental plan!"
"Kibito needs Nice Lessons."
"Mental plan!"
"Kibito needs Nice Lessons."
"Mental plan!"
"Kibito needs Nice Lessons."
"Oh, Kibito can pay for his own Nice Lessons," said Kaioshin, shaking his head to get rid of the voices. He looked up.
"AAAH!"
"Hello." said MaRietTA-suZANnE, standing over him. "You're pretty. Would you like to be a princess?"
"What?!"
"First you'll need a nice dress…" she said waving her hand at him. "Then…"
Kaioshin looked down. "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" He was wearing a dress. A frilly pink dress. With sequins. He tried to hide behind Kibito, but regretted it instantly - since Kibito was still at the Nice Lesson he ended up doing an inane little dance.
"No, princesses dance like this," said MaRietTA-suZANnE, doing exactly the same inane little dance. "Anyway, let's go find you a nice prince to marry!"
"What? Prince? You mean Vegeta?" asked Goku, "…Hey, why are you glaring at me like that? Guys?"
~~~~~
"NOW will you send her back to her own universe?" hissed Vegeta. MaRietTA-suZANnE had made him put on something that she thought would be a good wedding garment for a prince: another dress. It was the same style as Kaioshin's, but blue.
"It's not that simple, Vegeta," said Kaioshin, sadly, "She is a lot more powerful now than she was in her universe, and…"
"Hey, no looking at the bride before the actual wedding!" exclaimed MaRietTA-suZANnE. She dragged Kaioshin off, planning to hide him somewhere.
"Hmmm… let's try this closet!" she opened it, and was shocked to find that it was already occupied by Gohan and Trunks.
"Ummm… it's not what it looks like!"
"Yeah, it's, um…"
"Whatever it is, it isn't nice!" Waving her hand, MaRietTA-suZANnE sent them away.
~~~~~
Gohan and Trunks arrived at the Nice Lesson to find that, unsurprisingly, Kibito and Goten were not making out.
"Hey, look Gohan, Kibito isn't making out with your brother." commented Trunks
"…What?…" said Gohan
"Please… somebody… kill me now…" muttered Kibito.
