Chapter 14

Rhain awoke the next morning with an intense sense of anticipation.  He did not know how he could possibly survive the hours until he saw Keelin.  He was worried that he would be so distracted by his anticipation of their meeting that he would not be able to function normally during the day. 

            The prince rose from his bed slowly, wanting to delay the time when he would have to leave his chamber and spend the day in the presence of his family and the Italians for as long as possible.  He walked over to the wall to the left side of his bed and pushed the tapestry aside, gazing out of his window.  The sun was just rising, spreading its mellow rays across the expanse of meadow that stretched around the castle, the edges of the rays just beginning to touch the secretive forest.  The air that leaked through his window was cool and crisp and there was not a cloud in the sky.  It promised to be a beautiful, cool, mid-autumn day.

            He tied the tapestry back and went to his door, opening it to summon his servant.  He had the man bring his clothing to him, but dismissed the servant, saying that he would dress himself.  His servant had brought him a cape and tunic in heavy dark blue velvet elaborately embroidered with silver thread and edged in ermine.  There was a black leather belt with an elaborate silver buckle for the tunic and blue velvet breeches to match.  He had also been provided with knee-high black suede boots.  Rhain sighed as he dressed himself slowly.  He knew he would not have a chance to change before his meeting in the forest and he wished that he could wear clothing that was subtler and that would allow him more mobility.  It would not be easy to move around in the forest in such clothing and he would have to take a great deal of care to be certain that it did not get damaged lest someone realize where he had passed his evening.  More importantly, he wished that he could wear something less opulent because he knew his dress would only strengthen the wall that lay between him and Keelin.  The richness of his dress would be in stark contrast to her simple dress, making even plainer the great difference in their social status.

            When he had finally finished dressing, Rhain took a deep breath in preparation for the day he was about to face.  Then he opened his door and went down to the great hall.

            The day seemed to last forever.  Fortunately for Rhain, the king had ordered a play to be staged for the amusement of his guests, saving Rhain from having to converse much with Princess Concetta.  Still, he was forced to sit next to her, allowing her to frequently bump various parts of her body against his.  By dinner, it was all he could do to keep from shoving her aside in disgust.

            It was a relief when they were seated for dinner because, although Princess Concetta was seated on his right, Edwyn was seated on his left, giving Rhain a chance to engage in a deep conversation with his friend and allowing him to all but ignore the princess.  Just before the meal was laid out, his father stood up and everyone quickly fell silent.

            "It has been my great pleasure to entertain our dear friends from Italy," the king began.  "The bond between England and Italy has been much strengthened by this visit, promising a prosperous and peaceful future for our two countries.  'Tis my hope that this bond of friendship will last a lifetime and that we will soon find our two kingdoms inextricably linked."  With these words, the king turned and looked at his son and the Italian princess.  His message was clear.  He had all but announced an engagement between his son and Concetta. 

Rhain felt his face go red as the blood roared through his head, causing a great pounding at his temples.  He had never been so angry with his father in all his life.  The king continued talking, but Rhain did not hear a word his father said, so loud was the roaring in his head.  At long last, his father finished his pretty little speech and everyone raised their goblets in a toast.  The prince lifted his goblet automatically, his body responding without thought while his mind was lost in the turmoil of his fury.  Everyone drank and it was all Rhain could do to keep himself from choking on his wine.

The minstrels began to play their lutes and sing ballads extolling the virtues of the Italian royal family and of Italy in general.  One minstrel had even prepared a very elaborate ballad dedicated to the beauty of Princess Concetta.  She was at her preening best during the song.  Rhain was barely able to choke down his food.  He saw Edwyn studying him with some concern, but the vain princess was too engrossed in the ballad to notice his silence.

As dinner continued, the princess did begin to notice that something was wrong with the prince.  He spoke barely a word to anyone, hardly touched a thing on his plate, and drank only a half of a goblet of wine.  She tried to coax him into conversation, but he had lost all interest in social niceties.  When the meal was finally finished, he stood and announced that he had a headache, asked leave of the princess, and walked out of the hall before she had a chance to reply.

The prince fled the castle, running to the forest both to conceal himself within it so as to escape the notice of the palace guard, and also because he was running from his troubles as quickly as he was able.  When he was within the green breast of the forest, he stopped in his tracks, finding that he was sweating and breathing heavily.  He leaned against a tree and took a moment to allow his racing heart to slow and his breathing to return to a normal rate.  Even in his greatest moment of desperation, he found that the forest was able to quickly embrace and soothe him, easing his worries.

Suddenly aware that precious time was passing, Rhain pushed off from the tree and began to walk toward the spot where he was to meet Keelin.  His anticipation grew with each step, causing his heart to race even more swiftly than it had when he fled to the forest.  He walked as quietly and stealthily as possible, hoping with all his heart that she was already waiting for him.  He desperately wanted to see her and gaze at her for a while before she was aware of his presence.

Rhain got his wish.  As he came upon their meeting place, he saw that Keelin had already arrived.  She was kneeling on the forest floor, a hare just inches from her.  He could see that she was speaking softly to the animal, wanting to soothe it so that she could reach out and touch it.  She was concentrating so hard on the task that it gave the prince time to study her.

She was wearing the same peasant outfit she had been wearing the last time they had met in the forest.  He studied the firm curve of her bosom in its tightly laced bodice.  His eyes followed the curve of her waist, down the gentle swell of her hip, and down to her legs.  Her delicate ankles peeked out from the hem of her skirts and he saw that she wore simple, rough shoes on her feet.  He turned his attention to her face, intently studying her profile.  He admired the clear, pale expanse of her brow, the gentle curve of her eyebrows, the large, luminous brown eyes that were shaded by long lashes.  There was a becoming hollow under her beautifully structured cheekbone, just above the healthy, rosy blush of her cheek.  He admired her long, straight nose and the lush fullness of her lips.  The curve of her chin was gentle, but firm.  Her face was very open and bore the bloom of youth and good health.  Her beauty took his breath away, just as it had so many times before.  Lastly, he admired the luxurious, gilded curls that tumbled down her back.  Her hair glowed like fine gold in the late afternoon sun.  He was very glad that she had worn it down as she had, with only the sides pulled back from her face and tied with a leather thong.  Her hair was so beautiful that he felt it was almost a crime for it to be hidden away under caps.  If it were up to him, she would always leave her curls to tumble wild and free about her, as they did now.

Keelin's attempts to stroke the hare were unsuccessful.  Just as she stretched her hand out toward the creature, the hare bounded off through the woods.  Keelin sighed and turned her head, her eyes meeting those of the prince.  He smiled nervously at her, feeling his heart leap in his chest.  She quickly averted her eyes from his and rose hastily from the forest floor so that she could bow to him.

"Good evening, Your Highness," she said, her voice low and musical, nearly blending with the harmonious sounds of the forest.

"Good evening, Keelin," he said, afraid that she would notice the reverent way in which he spoke her name.  He was finding it harder and harder to conceal his feelings for her.  "I prithee, do not bow before me.  Do we not meet here as friends?"

"Aye, Your Highness but I must always bow to you as a sign of my respect and awe."

Rhain was uncomfortable with these words.  He wished her to be as easy with him as Edwyn was, wished for her to call him by his Christian name, just as his friend the knight did.

"Then I shall express my admiration for you with a bow," he said to her, gracing her with his best courtly bow.  He did not miss the look of astonishment on her face.

"Does Your Highness require more information from me?" she asked.

"Information?" he asked, puzzled.

"Aye.  Information about my former master?"

Rhain realized with sudden clarity that she thought it was his reason for meeting her in this way.  "Nay.  I merely wish to speak with you as friends, as we did that night in my chamber."  He felt as if his heart were in his hands, exposed for her to either destroy or cherish as she chose.  He would not be able to bear it if she rejected his friendship.

"Oh," was her only reply.

"Do you not wish to speak with me?" he asked, unable to keep the anxiety from creeping into his voice.

"Nay, I mean aye.  I mean of course I wish to speak with Your Highness.  'Tis always an honor to speak with Your Highness," she said, clearly flustered.

"As 'tis my honor to speak with you," he said.  "'Tis also my pleasure," he added, his voice very low.

Her eyes caught his once again and he noticed the surprise in them.  "Your Highness is very kind, but I cannot believe that you could find pleasure in my company.  I wish only to be useful to Your Highness."

Rhain shifted his posture uncomfortably.  This was not going as well as he would have wished it.  Gone was the comfortable and pleasant sense of intimacy that he had shared with her in his chamber.  They were now awkward with one another and Rhain was unsure of what to do to dispel that awkwardness.

The prince stepped a little closer to Keelin and reached out a hand to seize a leafy branch just to the right of her head, causing her to start.

"The forest is so beautiful at this time of day," he said, softly, afraid to break the delicate peace of the moment.
            "Aye," Keelin said, her voice also soft.  "'Tis so tranquil.  I adore the forest." 

A hawk soared overhead, letting out a keening sound.  Keelin tilted her head back to watch it and Rhain studied the delicate arch of her throat.  He swallowed past the lump in his throat.

"I have never met anyone who loves the forest as much as I," he said to her, unable to take his eyes off her, even for the hawk.

She lowered her eyes down to her hands, which were clasped demurely at her waist.  "I do not believe that there are many who can appreciate its beauties or the tranquility of its embrace," she said.

"Aye, that is it exactly," he replied.  He was very close to her and it made him feel slightly dizzy.  It was almost as if she was exerting a force upon him, making it nearly impossible for him to resist the urge to lean closer and to establish some sort of physical contact with her.

She broke the spell suddenly by moving away from him and seating herself upon a fallen log.  She fiddled with her skirts for a moment and then looked towards him out of the corner of her eye.

"What is it that brings Your Highness here?" she asked, startling him with the directness of her question.

"The pleasure of your company," he answered, honestly.  He moved slightly closer to her, leaning his back against a tree and folding his arms loosely across his chest.  "I feel I can be myself when I am with you.  I find our conversations fascinating."

Keelin turned her gaze fully on him, regarding him with her big, questioning brown eyes.  "'Tis all so strange to me," she said.  "May I speak candidly to Your Highness?"

"Please do," he said, feeling both a sense of relief and a sense of curiosity.

She looked down at her hands as she twisted them nervously in her lap.  "'Tis all so strange, almost as if 'tis all a dream.  Your Highness saved my life and I felt the greatest of gratitude.  Then you began to question me about my master and began to influence the course of events in my life and I began to feel resentment for you.  Chance threw us much together and now I find that I have grown to like Your Highness very much and to feel very fortunate for your friendship.  Still, I feel unsure of what this all means.  I have enjoyed this time, but am certain that it cannot continue much longer."

Rhain was shocked but gratified by her honest speech.  He realized that she felt conflicted about their relationship, just as he did, although he still had no idea if her feelings for him were as deep as his feelings for her.  He was at a loss as to how to answer her for he did not know himself what it all meant and he too felt certain that their relationship could not continue on its present course much longer.  That frightened him more than anything else.

"I admit to feeling some confusion myself," Rhain began, slowly.  "I never meant to use or hurt you, but I found myself doing exactly those things.  Yet as I spent time with you, I began to see what an extraordinary person you are.  The more I learned about you, the more I wanted to know.  I do not know what it all means or where it will all lead.  All I am certain of is the unfairness of it all.  'Tis unjust that our friendship must be kept secret, that I cannot converse as freely and openly with you as I do with my friend Sir Edwyn."

"That is the way of the world, whether anyone likes it or nay," Keelin said, simply.  Her eyes met his as she spoke.

"'Tis not the way I wish the world to be and, as a prince, am I not the one to change it?"

"Perhaps some things cannot be changed," Keelin replied, her eyes downcast.

Rhain pushed away from the tree impatiently, feelings a growing sense of frustration.  "Nay, I cannot believe it to be so," he insisted.  He began to pace in front of the tree.  "There is no peace for me in such beliefs else why would you have become a part of my life?  You have shown me that there is another way and I believe in the free will of man, in the power of man to change things and make them better."

"Is man not also capable of making things worse?"

"Aye, of course.  I dare say you think that perhaps man is merely capable of making things worse and not better.  Why should you think otherwise?  Everything that you knew of goodness was taken from you at an early age, forcing you to grow up in the midst of great evil.  Yet there is good in the world and I no longer desire to follow the prescribed path but to effect change."

"'Tis perhaps best to quell such desires," Keelin said quietly.

"Can you really think that?" Rhain cried, stopping his pacing for a moment to look at her.  "If so, then I must march back to the castle and agree to marry the Italian princess, just as my father wishes for me to do."

"Servants often think that those of great wealth and privilege are free to make their own decisions in life, but I have come to understand that they are often as bound to follow a prescribed path in life as we are.  Understand that I do not mean to complain of my condition for I am quite happy with my life, but just as 'tis my duty to be a servant and to serve my king, so 'tis Your Highness's duty to serve Your Highness's kingdom."

"You think I should marry her then?" Rhain asked.  He stopped dead in his tracks and stared directly at Keelin until she raised her gaze to his.

"'Tis not for me to say," she answered.

"Nay.  Nor is it for my father to say.  'Tis only for me to say and I say that there is nothing in the world that could compel me to do so.  The princess is the worst example of a woman that I have ever met.  She lacks all qualities that make a woman pleasing to a man.  She may have beauty, but her lack of virtue is proportionate to that beauty.  I find no pleasure in her conversation and her company is irksome to me.  Tell me, how can I make such a woman my wife?"

"Do not look to me for answers for I am not worthy of offering them to Your Highness.  I am merely a humble servant.  Your Highness must do as your sense of duty and your conscience compel you to do and I must do as my sense of duty and conscience compel me."

They were silent for a moment.  Rhain felt a great deal of agony at her words.  The distance between them was so great that it was nearly uncrossable, yet Rhain could not choose the path that lay before him, leading him to marriage with an Italian princess and the long-wished for acquisition of his father's approval.  He knew that it would only lead to a lifetime of misery for him.  Keelin said that he had to follow his conscience and his sense of duty and every fiber in his being led him to her.  His sense of duty was becoming increasingly centered on her and his conscience could not censure him, but he could not possibly tell her that.

He finally knew what to say to her.  "'Tis my conscience and my sense of duty that compel me to make changes, changes that I hope will benefit every man, woman, and child of my realm.  As you say, I must follow my duty and my conscience and not tradition."

Keelin smiled warmly at him.  "That is what I hoped Your Highness would say," she replied.

            The prince smiled at her, his heart suddenly the lightest it had been all day.