Jemima sat on the radio, humming strains of Memories to herself when
Bustopher waddles in Jemima looked up.
"Hey Bustopher!" She smiled.
"Hello my dear!"
"How are you Bustopher?" Bustopher tries climbing up on radio but is having an awful time of it.
"Oh you know, the usual" Jemima Jumps down to the tire.
"Where do you spend your time Bustopher?"
"Oh you know the usual places! I say!! Would you look at that!?"
"What's that Bustopher?"
"MY Spoon!!! It has been bent!!!!"
"Oh no Bustopher. Maybe we could find you a new one?"
"NO. NO this is terrible.. do you realize how long I have had this particular spoon??"
"No you never told anyone that"
"Why did no one tell you... I was born with it in my mouth!!! it is a silver spoon!"
"Really. Wow so you've had it a reallyyyyy longggggggg time then"
"Yes, you understand the importance of it!" looks at Jemima and tilts his head to one side
"Uhhhh" she looked at him. "Uh yeah sure."
"You know Jemima. I've been thinking"
"What about?"
"Well you seem like a rather bright poppet, but...."
"But what Bustopher?"
"Well with the proper training you could go to any of the high class society you choose and have shrimp cakes as you please!"
"Training?"
"I mean now in your present state you seem rather dull and drab! Just another cat off the street!"
"What? Uh yeah."
"But with a little help you could eat of the queens own lap if you so desired!"
"Who's help would that be?" she asked inwardly seething.
"Well..." puffs out chest proudly, "Well I could give you a few pointers...I mean a guttersnipe such as yourself could greatly prosper from my great wealth of wisdom!" She glared at him.
"Thanks Bustopher." She said sarcastically
"No need for thanks my dear" She felt like breaking the spoon over his head but didn't.
"Now first things first...your posture is of that of a wounded Pollicle.. Straighten your shoulders and curl your tail!!.." he tapped her tail with his spoon. She jumped but did as she was told.
"There, you see that is much better.." circles her. she watched him circle her
"Now what?"
"Now head up..." places a can of tuna on top of her head. She keeps her head straight
"Now.. walk, walk gracefully and don't let the can of tuna leave your top!!" taps foot impatiently
"Okay Bustopher." She walks over the tire gracefully. He claps paws.
"I suppose that's not bad for your first try" She manages to turn and glare at him without dropping the can off her head.
"Now... Grace isn't the most important thing...beauty is foremost."
"Right"
Bustopher starts filling a small basin with water, "and fleas are unsightly!!"
"Fleas???"
"Nobody wants a scraggily flea bitten kit sitting on there lap!!!"
"Fleas???? I haven't got fleas!"
"Of course you do my dear.." grabbing up Jemima "if you live in this junkyard.. you have fleas!"
"Bustopher I have owners!"
"Trust me on this one Jemima. I am doing this for you!! And your social life!"
She thought again about breaking the spoon over his head but didn't.
"Besides. It's more than fleas Jemima!! All high society cats must be well groomed!" plunges Jemi into the lukewarm water
She grumbled to herself
"My you have a lot of dirt on you.... what do you play in. a coal chute???"
"No Bustopher."
He pulls Jemi out of basin and dries her off with a rag
"There good as I have ever seen you Jemima.... I had no idea.. you had white in your fur!"
"What?"
"Now...what is it. There is something I am missing "
She turned around for him, her fur sparkling.
"AH YES!!!..." Hands her a large spoon... "There we got. Perfect. Now I won't be embarrassed to be seen with you!! Well what do you think?" holds a mirror up to her
Jemima took the spoon and whacked him over the head then walked off.
"OUCH!!!!"
"Hey Bustopher!" She smiled.
"Hello my dear!"
"How are you Bustopher?" Bustopher tries climbing up on radio but is having an awful time of it.
"Oh you know, the usual" Jemima Jumps down to the tire.
"Where do you spend your time Bustopher?"
"Oh you know the usual places! I say!! Would you look at that!?"
"What's that Bustopher?"
"MY Spoon!!! It has been bent!!!!"
"Oh no Bustopher. Maybe we could find you a new one?"
"NO. NO this is terrible.. do you realize how long I have had this particular spoon??"
"No you never told anyone that"
"Why did no one tell you... I was born with it in my mouth!!! it is a silver spoon!"
"Really. Wow so you've had it a reallyyyyy longggggggg time then"
"Yes, you understand the importance of it!" looks at Jemima and tilts his head to one side
"Uhhhh" she looked at him. "Uh yeah sure."
"You know Jemima. I've been thinking"
"What about?"
"Well you seem like a rather bright poppet, but...."
"But what Bustopher?"
"Well with the proper training you could go to any of the high class society you choose and have shrimp cakes as you please!"
"Training?"
"I mean now in your present state you seem rather dull and drab! Just another cat off the street!"
"What? Uh yeah."
"But with a little help you could eat of the queens own lap if you so desired!"
"Who's help would that be?" she asked inwardly seething.
"Well..." puffs out chest proudly, "Well I could give you a few pointers...I mean a guttersnipe such as yourself could greatly prosper from my great wealth of wisdom!" She glared at him.
"Thanks Bustopher." She said sarcastically
"No need for thanks my dear" She felt like breaking the spoon over his head but didn't.
"Now first things first...your posture is of that of a wounded Pollicle.. Straighten your shoulders and curl your tail!!.." he tapped her tail with his spoon. She jumped but did as she was told.
"There, you see that is much better.." circles her. she watched him circle her
"Now what?"
"Now head up..." places a can of tuna on top of her head. She keeps her head straight
"Now.. walk, walk gracefully and don't let the can of tuna leave your top!!" taps foot impatiently
"Okay Bustopher." She walks over the tire gracefully. He claps paws.
"I suppose that's not bad for your first try" She manages to turn and glare at him without dropping the can off her head.
"Now... Grace isn't the most important thing...beauty is foremost."
"Right"
Bustopher starts filling a small basin with water, "and fleas are unsightly!!"
"Fleas???"
"Nobody wants a scraggily flea bitten kit sitting on there lap!!!"
"Fleas???? I haven't got fleas!"
"Of course you do my dear.." grabbing up Jemima "if you live in this junkyard.. you have fleas!"
"Bustopher I have owners!"
"Trust me on this one Jemima. I am doing this for you!! And your social life!"
She thought again about breaking the spoon over his head but didn't.
"Besides. It's more than fleas Jemima!! All high society cats must be well groomed!" plunges Jemi into the lukewarm water
She grumbled to herself
"My you have a lot of dirt on you.... what do you play in. a coal chute???"
"No Bustopher."
He pulls Jemi out of basin and dries her off with a rag
"There good as I have ever seen you Jemima.... I had no idea.. you had white in your fur!"
"What?"
"Now...what is it. There is something I am missing "
She turned around for him, her fur sparkling.
"AH YES!!!..." Hands her a large spoon... "There we got. Perfect. Now I won't be embarrassed to be seen with you!! Well what do you think?" holds a mirror up to her
Jemima took the spoon and whacked him over the head then walked off.
"OUCH!!!!"
