A/N: OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Right, I'm sorry, I just had to get that out of my system. I got 92 reviews for the last chappy! 92!!! You guys kick so much ass, I love every one of you, in the purely platonic sense of course.
Well, it's unanimous! It gets to stay a Harry/Sev fic. I have to say I'm sooo relieved, I had no idea how the hell I was supposed to turn it into a H/D one, but I felt I should at least try if that's what you all wanted. I am going to try an AU one after this may be but there will be no threesomes in this fic. I think for threesomes to work, the characters would have to be different, if you know what I mean?
I would like to thank every one who reviewed, and emailed and was generally nice. I'd also like to give a big hug to all those who came out of lurker-dom to tell me what you think, *Hugz you all* thank you, it meant a whole lot; I had no idea so many people even read this ficky.
This Chapter is dedicated to EMILY my 300th reviewer!
(My name is Emily too. V. freaky)
Chapter twenty three: Heroin eyes
Severus stared blankly at Harry as his mind processed the words that tripped out of the boy's mouth. Through his mask he focused in on the seductive green eyes that reminded him so much of the Muggle drug heroin. They could make him fly, he craved them, and he needed the fact that when he looked into them, he felt as though they needed him back. But they could just as easily kill him, break his heart and shatter his soul, cut him off from reality and make him forget what he had done, make him forget he was a monster.
"Potter leave me alone." He had to do this, maybe he could escape before the actual attack and bring Dumbledore back information, he had to at least try to make back his sins.
His broken soul had nothing to live for any more any way. He looked with a deep ach at Harry's pleading face, and felt that all to familiar stab of jealousy as his vision played over Draco standing protectively behind him, with a hand on Harry's right shoulder.
No, he had nothing to live for any more, not even his Dancer. So what if he died? He had no one to miss him, it was obvious Harry had someone to love him, to protect and look after him. Severus had no one, but at least this way, maybe he could, in some small way help to protect Harry one last time.
Severus turned and left. This was his penance; this was his 'time'.
The image of his long dead sister was burned into his mind. He had to make up for her death some how. His own life would never come close to paying her back, but maybe if he died it would be a start. Then maybe he could do right by the only two people he had ever cared about.
He walked out of the front doors into the night. Keep walking, he repeated to himself as Harry's shouts followed him, flitting between calling out for the Black haired potions Master to stay and angry shouts at Draco to let go of him.
A single tear rolled down his cheek -hidden by the Death Eater guise- as the sky filled with snowflakes. He would most likely not make it to December 25th, but he silently wished for a white Christmas any way. He knew how much Harry loved the snow.
The raven haired seeker thrashed and shouted as Draco held him back. Harry was freezing, but however much he didn't care, Draco did. He was still wearing nothing more than what he had been when Severus had woken them up. The cloak had fallen to the floor when Harry had made a one eighty from the infirmary door. And the young Slytherin was worried he would end up getting hypothermia if he ran out into the snow like that. Not only that, but if he had understood Harry's rushed conversation with Severus then they needed to get to Dumbledore. Draco could only hope his head of House could look after himself.
Severus took a deep breath as he left the relative safety of the Hogwarts wards. Something was bothering him. This battle should have been well known among the inner circle. Riddle was a head case and a half, but he was as cunning as Slytherin himself, he had bidden his time, creeping in the metaphorical shadows of the wizarding world until the magical community were safely tucked up in there own self-denial and would be at their most un aware.
So it made no sense for him to have this battle be so hap-hazard and last minute. Every one should have had warning. Severus felt sick. Every one loyal probably was given warning.
Still, he focused his thoughts on the apparition zone he was heading for. Maybe he was just being over optimistic about Voldies intelligence, or maybe Harry was wrong, there were enough variables for him to risk it he reasoned. So what if noun of them were all that believable? He didn't have a death wish. Really. It was probably all just your average meeting. He felt bile rise in his thought as he arrived in the dark greave yard, filled with the stench of death and the blood of people not yet -but no doubt soon to be- dead.
Lucius greeted him. That alone raised Severus' panic a notch or two. Lucius was a very high ranking Death Eater one of Voldies right hand men. He was a spy just like Severus. But unlike him, Lucius' loyalties had never been questioned, it was simpler for him though. Lucius rarely reported back to Dumbledore. Lucius' main task was covering Severus' ass.
"Snape, follow." Lucius beckoned him, pulling his hood lower and slipping a tiny silver key to Sev as he ushered him forward. Severus knew better than to question it, simply slipping the small object into the lining in his sleeve and following was the safest option.
Severus tried to ignore the fact that Lucius was so much like his son. It had never bothered him before. In fact he had even admired it. He might not like Lucius, in honesty he despised the man, but there was a firm working relationship between them.
Severus hated him for being so, in his reasoning, cowardly. Lucius was only really on the 'light' side for his son. He didn't really care where he had his alliances as long as he was safe and very well off. All he had to do was re-direct Snape onto missions he was better able to 'botch up' or pass on items and trivial things like that, and it basically guaranteed him a cushy life. Draco was happy with him, Dumbledore assured him safety from annoying Auroras, and Voldemort would never bring one of his favourites up for questioning, not on such trivial grounds that were so easily denied.
Lucius for his part thought Severus a fool for being so 'noble'. He was forever admonishing Severus for his morals and looking down on him. Yet both knew what they had to do, and did it, well trained enough to be perfectly surgical about there working relationship.
Still Severus couldn't shake the growing hatred as he found similarities between his one time lover and the boy who had taken his Harry.
~*~*~Tbc~*~*~
