Chapter 24

Rhain refused to leave his father's side the entire time that the servants were preparing the body.  Edwyn attempted to pull him away, attempted to persuade his friend to bathe, to sleep, to eat, to do anything, but was uniformly unsuccessful with every try.  Rhain just kept repeating the same two sentences over and over again.

            "I should never have left him in Germany.  I shall not leave him now," he said, his voice flat and dead sounding, causing Edwyn to weep not only for the death of the king but also for the effect it had on his friend.

            Under the prince's watchful eye, the king's physician sewed up the king's wound as best he could.  The body was in bad shape after several days of travel and the servants set up several urns of burning herbs around the chamber, not only as a part of the ritual of attending to the king's body, but also as an attempt to drive out the nearly overpowering stench of decay. 

            It took the servants several hours to prepare the king's body.  They had to wash it carefully for the king's skin was slack and nearly sloughed off as they tried to clean it.  They dressed him in his most splendid robes and slathered on a thick layer of face paint to dispel as much as possible of the bloated, oddly colored look brought about by death and decay.  The prince felt that it was imperative that the king's casket be open at his funeral, so that his people could see for themselves that it was truly the body of their king.  He did not, however, allow his mother into the chamber while the servants were working.  He did not want her to see the terrible state of her husband's body.

            When they were finished, a casket lined in silk and velvet and made of the finest wood with intricate workings was brought in and the king's body was arranged inside.  The servants arranged his crown on his head and then laid his head gently on a velvet pillow.  Lastly, they folded the king's hands over his royal scepter.  The crown and scepter would be removed before the king's body was laid to rest in the royal crypt, but Rhain wanted to preserve as much of his father's dignity and authority as possible.  When they had finally finished, Rhain thanked the servants and praised their work as much as was possible, given his current state of mind.  His expressions were poor and quite lacking, but no one was offended as they could clearly see that the prince was distraught against all reason.

            Finally, the prince sent for his mother.  When she entered, she was already dressed in deep mourning, wearing a black gown and a black headdress with a veil that concealed her face.  She lifted the veil when she entered the chamber and Rhain could see that she looked very ill indeed.  A handkerchief was pressed against her trembling lips so forcefully that it made her face look smashed.  She placed a shaky hand in her son's and he led her to the body.

            The prince stood with his arm around his mother's shoulders protectively as she gazed into the casket.  As soon as she caught sight of her husband's body, she burst into loud sobs, causing her whole body to convulse.  Rhain turned her away from the body and held her in his arms once more.  As her tears flowed, the steel band that had bound his heart for the last few days was torn apart and his tears flowed as freely as hers.

            "My dearest mother, I am so sorry that I did not save him.  I am so sorry that I left him behind.  I did not do my duty to him as a son or a subject and I shall understand if you can never forgive me for it," Rhain sobbed out and he truly felt every word that he spoke.  He was constantly tortured by the belief that if he had not left his father behind, Mordrid would never have had a chance to reach the king.  In fact, Rhain was determined to believe that he could have stopped Mordrid, that he could have slain the man then and there and had done with the whole matter.

            "Oh my son, how can you say such words?  Do not you know that they tear into my already bleeding heart?  To see you suffer as you do is almost worse than knowing your father to be dead.  There is nothing that you could have done to prevent this.  Of that, I am certain.  In fact, my only comfort in this whole affair is that you were not there at the time so that Mordrid could not have taken you from me as well," the queen said, pulling away from her son slightly so that she could look into his eyes.

            The prince was too overwhelmed to speak.  He wept for a few more moments before trying successfully to master his emotions.  He needed to be strong for his mother and for his kingdom.  It was imperative that he get through the coming days with his senses in tact so that he could begin planning his invasion of France.  For that, he would need his head to be as clear as it could possibly be.  In a little while, both he and his mother were calm once again.

            "Rhain, you must go change your clothing.  You must bathe and you must eat and you must get some rest.  Your father would never approve of your conducting yourself in this matter," the queen said, playing her ace.

            "You are right, Mother," the prince admitted, feeling somewhat chagrined.  "He would wish me to conduct myself in a manner befitting his son and heir.  I will leave him now so that I may attend to matters as he would want me to do."

            "You are brave and strong, my son," the queen said, her voice proud and her eyes shining with tears.  "I do not think you know how very proud of you your father was.  I know that he was often out of temper with you, but you do not know the things he said about you when you were not present.  I do not think any father could have been prouder of his son and I know that he would not trust his kingdom to any other than you."

            Rhain drew himself up at these words.  "Then I must prove myself worthy of such approbation," he said solemnly. 

            "Go, my son," his mother said, briefly resting her hand against his cheek.  "I shall stay here and keep vigil over your father.  My ladies will stay here with me, so you need not fear for my welfare, or that of your father.  I shall see you on the morrow."

            "Good night, dear mother," Rhain said, kissing her fondly on the cheek.  "I hope you shall always know how much I love you."

            "I love you very much in return.  I could not have asked for a better son.  Even in this time of sorrow, England is fortunate in that she will have had the best of men for her king, first your father and now you."

            Rhain blanched a little at the mention of his becoming king.  He had, of course, realized that it would happen soon now that his father was gone, but he had tried not to think of it.  It was such an awesome responsibility and his mind was already so occupied by his grief over his father's death and his plans for war and revenge against Mordrid and France.  Still, he knew he could not avoid it and he knew that he must be crowned very soon after his father's funeral so as not to raise the fears of the kingdom.  He had to show his people right away that they had nothing to fear and that their kingdom was in good hands.  The prince fervently prayed that he truly would be able to prevent them from feeling the need to fear anything.  He prayed that he could be as powerful and as munificent a king as his father.

            The prince quitted his father's chamber and returned to his own, sinking into a chair wearily.  He dismissed his servant, telling him that he would call for him shortly.  Rhain simply needed some time to be alone with his thoughts.  He placed his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands, his posture speaking of his sense of defeat.  He scrubbed his hands across his face and winced at the roughness of several days' growth of facial hair.  His mouth felt as dry as if it was full of sand and he was certain that he smelled very rank.  His hair was a tangled mess, resting in a mass of clumps against his neck. 

            He stood up from his seat with difficulty, his entire body protesting at the pain in each and every one of his limbs.  Rhain ran a hand over the lion emblazoned across his chest and thought of Keelin.  He had not looked for her today, had been in too much of a fog to think of it, and he now found that the realization brought him a great deal of agony.  No doubt she had observed his entrance and he wondered what had been her reaction.  He now cursed himself for not having looked for her, for he was certain that the sight of her would have brought him a great deal of comfort.

            Rhain thought of what she had said about praying as she stitched his surcoat and felt a little shiver run up his spine.  It seemed that her prayers had indeed woven themselves into the thread of her stitches, that her surcoat had helped spare him from certain death.  He did not know what it all meant, did not know exactly why his life had been spared, but he did feel that there was something more that he was meant to do. 

            The prince knew that the next few days would be busy for him, but he knew that he needed to see Keelin as soon as he possibly could.  He suddenly longed for her so fiercely that it was a pain worse than any other he had suffered as of late.  He wished to feel the comfort of her presence, to see her lovely face again, and to hear her sweet voice speak to him.  The longing increased to ache so forceful that it frightened him.  He busied himself with calling for his servant, hoping to distract himself from thoughts of Keelin for a few seconds.

            Several servants soon entered his chamber, bringing him a tub and warm water to bathe.  He dismissed them again, telling them that he wished to bathe and dress himself and that he would summon them to dispose of the tub and water when he was finished.  The prince sank into the water gratefully, feeling it work on the knots in his neck and back, helping to ease the tension that had held his body taut for a week.  He scrubbed himself vigorously with the strong soap, as if he could somehow scrub away something of what had happened in Germany, but the soap could only cleanse his body and not his mind.  He had to admit that he did feel better physically, though he was still troubled mentally.

            When he had finished bathing, Rhain got out of the tub and dried himself slowly, looking at each limb as he dried it, wondering how it was possible that they were to be the limbs of a king.  He pulled a comb through his hair, working through the tangled mess very slowly.  It took him quite some time and, when he was finally finished, his hair was nearly dry.  He dressed for bed and summoned his servants so that they could clear his chamber of the tub and lay a fire for him.

            Rhain walked over to a window, pushing the tapestry aside and gazing out into the cold night.  The sky was the deepest black, pierced by millions of pinpricks of light.  Even the stars looked cold to him and he shivered involuntarily.  He gazed at them and tried to imagine that his father was now amongst them, but the thought did not bring him as much comfort as he felt it should.

            The prince finally pushed himself away from the window with a sigh.  He walked over to a table upon which his servants had laid a dinner for him, but he did not have much appetite.  He managed to eat a little bread and cheese and to drink most of one mug of ale, but this was only accomplished by reminding himself that he needed to be alert and strong in order to face the challenges that now lay before him.  It was still not persuasion enough for him to eat and he wondered if he should ever again crave food.

            At long last, the tub and food were cleared away from his chamber and the fire laid.  He felt a great deal of relief as the last servant bade him good night and closed the chamber door behind him.  Rhain felt restless, but bone weary and he finally surrendered to his fatigue and got into bed.  He lay on his back with his arms behind his head, and could not deny that it was a very pleasurable sensation indeed to be once more in his bed with its fresh linens and soft feather mattress.  It was not long before he found himself drifting off to sleep.

            He slept but fitfully all night and was roused before dawn by a nightmare of such terrifying violence that it was almost worse than anything that had occurred thus far in reality.  Initially, he dreamt of the scene of his father being slain by Mordrid over and over again but, shortly before dawn, his nightmare took a turn.  He was a prisoner of Mordrid, savagely tortured and then bound to the rack.  This, however, was the least of all the evils of the dream.  As he lay bound to the rack, clinging to what was left of his consciousness, Mordrid had Keelin brought into the chamber, forcing Rhain to watch while he brutally raped, tortured, and then killed her.  The dream was so vivid that Rhain thought it was real and his screams brought his servants scrambling into his chamber.  He dismissed them with a shaky voice.

            When they had gone, he lay trembling in his bed, sweating and clutching a pillow.  With all his body and soul, he ached to have Keelin lying beside him, ached to be able to pull her body to his and hold her tightly, to have the certainty of knowing her to be safe.  He longed to feel the reassuring softness of her body wrapped in his arms as he stroked her hair and whispered soothing words to her, to feel her flesh against his flesh, to feel her body move in response to his.  He ached for the bliss of losing himself inside of her, of uniting himself to her body and soul.  Rhain knew then with sudden clarity that his only comfort would be to have her forever by his side.  His charade could not go on much longer.  His love for her was strong and his need for her so great that nothing short of her permanent presence would ensure him any kind of peace.

            He had to see her and tell her how he felt about her.  He had to find some means of convincing her to have him, of convincing her to consent to be his wife.  Rhain knew not how he would achieve this, but he knew that it must be with the same certainty that he knew he would soon be crowned king and that he would lead his knights into war with France.  All was perfectly clear to him.  He now knew that it was his destiny to witness his father's death and, as a result, to become king and to lead his knights into war to avenge his father's death.  Along with this, he knew it was his destiny to be married to Keelin.  He now understood with perfect comprehension that his love for her would never die, that every passing day would only see it continue to grow and grow.  There could never be any other woman for him.

            The realization was sweet agony to him and he impatiently threw back his covers and leapt from his bed in order to pace the floor.  He ran his hand through his hair over and over again as he tried to decide just how and when he should approach her.  With a great deal of reluctance, he realized that he could not possibly do so until after he had already been crowned king.  He must certainly be crowned the day after his father's funeral, no matter how reluctant he was to take part in a ceremony of such pomp so soon after laying the king to rest.  It must be made clear to the kingdom that he was now their king and that he would take care of them.  He also needed to dispatch messages to Italy and Germany immediately, and to invite them to the castle so that he could court their alliance for this war.

            With a sigh of resignation, Rhain accepted the fact that he could not approach Keelin until the day after the morrow, at the earliest.  As much as he longed to run to her right that moment, it simply could not be done.  And as much as he feared that she would reject him even more vehemently once he became king, he knew it had to be done.  His mind made up, Rhain called for his servants.  The next few days promised to be trying indeed, but there was a blessed ray of hope in the midst of all the sorrow, fear, and confusion.  He was determined that he would soon be betrothed to Keelin, blessing him with the comfort and joy that her presence every single day of his life would bring.  The prince had told her he would come back to her and he had.  He now vowed never to be without her again.