CHAPTER 4:
"Chasing Despair's Tail"

"How do I look?" asks Buffy.
"Unsure and desperate for acceptance," Dawn answers.
"What do you know, you're 15."
Buffy turns back to her vanity mirror. She has on a light blue tight top, a black strap necklace and a pair of blue jeans that she doesn't mind getting dirty at the fair. Dawn is sitting on Buffy's bed.
"Xander called and he said he can't make it. He has to be at the site early morning."
"Gosh, what is it with everyone working and making money. Where's the fun in that?"
"Willow and Tara are studying and Giles is doing Giles things. So."
DING-DONG. The doorbell rings. Dawn jolts away.
"I'll get it!" she yells.
Buffy drops a pair of earrings she was about to put on and runs after her.
"Dawn no!"
She stops Dawn from opening the door.
"What? Don't get all freaky, I'm just answering the door," Dawn complains angrily.
"But it's dangerous. All dark and it could be the bogey man."
DING-DONG.
"Fine, you get it," a pissed Dawn relents.
"Okay."
"Ding-dong people, I can hear you," Spike comments loudly.
Buffy opens the door and puts a hand on her right hip. She sticks her chin up.
"Spike, what do you want? Does this look like the Red Cross for vamp[ires? Do I have a sign that says, Helloday Inn?"
"Don't call it that."
"Why are you here?" she pushes him to hurry up.
"Patrolling. It's my turn. Or have you forgotten?"
"Buffy," Dawn says.
"Not now Dawn."
"Buffy, he can take me."
"Take you where?" Spike wonders suspiciously.
Buffy looks at Dawn and lets Spike in.
"I'm not the little bit baby sitting service."
"I have a date with Ben tonight, not that it's nay of your business and I have to take Dawn with me. There is no one to care for her."
"It's going to be fun. The Fairest Wheel, Bumper Carts. Me and you will have a great time."
"Me and you?" Spike repeats aloud. He turns to Buffy with his mouth gaping open.
"The Carnival's in town for only a few more days, so I wanted to take Dawn one more time anyway. So, you want to come with us?"
"You got to be joking. What about her mother, Joyce?"
"She can't protect Dawn if something were to happen. Are you coming, or not."
"Am I coming? Teh, well . you see . oh bloody hell . yes, I want to go to the Carnival."
"Good, Ben is going to meet us there, he said he had to take care of a few things first."
"I'll do it, just this once. I'm not your sis's chaperone. I'm just doing this as a favor. One which I expect to be repaid. And don't think I'm not evil just because I want to ride the Marry go round, because I am."
"Sure, what ever, I just got to get a couple things and we're off. Be back."
Buffy runs upstairs and Spike closes the front door. He turns to see Dawn holding her hands and smiling.
"You want to ride a horsy, so cute."
Spike smirks and shakes his head.

Buffy turns on the car alarm and they walk.
"Everyone remember where we parked."
Buffy checks her wallet for money.
Spike and Dawn walk together.
"It's not that cold out, do you have to wear that jacket?" she asks him.
"It's my favorite one," he comments back.
Buffy approaches the ticket both.
"Two adults and one kid."
"Hey!" Dawn complains.
"Sorry, you don't quite yet qualify for grown up prices," Buffy says.
Dawn looks at Spike who is chuckling.
"What are you laughing at? You don't even have a sense of humor."
"Sure I do," says Spike.
"What's your favorite kind?"
"Dead pan," he replies.
Buffy rolls her eyes upward.
"Come on you two."
Buffy splits the tickets amongst them and Dawn runs off to the Fairest Wheel.
"Dawn!"
"Oh, cut her a little slack Slayer. She's only about 15 feet. Still in your view."
"Spike, I don't need parenting tips from a dead guy. If I want to know your perspective, I'll drop dead . again."
"It couldn't hurt," they approach Dawn, "besides, she likes me better."
"Does not," Buffy retorts.
"Does so."
"Does not. Agh, stop it. Dawn, you want me to ride along?" walks over to her.
"No cutting in line miss," says the ride operator.
"No, I'm fine by myself," she answers Buffy.
"Okay, but you be careful. Don't fall out of the seat."
She rejoins Spike. Dawn hands her ticket5s over and she gets in a ride. Another attendant makes sure she is buckled in and the ride operator slowly rotates the wheel for the next rider.
"You going on that thing?" Spike asks.
"Um. You?"
"I wouldn't be caught dead, no pun intended."
"Suit yourself."
Buffy gets on. While her back was turned, Spike gives some tickets and hops in before the wheel turns.
"Hey! Careful!" the attendant yells out.
"Changed my mind."
They rotate up. The wheel starts to spin and does so for a couple of minutes. Spike finally decides to say something.
"It's a beautiful night out."
"A full moon," Buffy adds.
The wheel's lights flash.
"What are you thinking about?"
"Miscellaneous stuff. Oz and how he is handling it tonight. Angel and if Riley is okay."
"It really hurt you when he left."
"He took a part of me. We yelled at each other and I never even got to apologize."
"Love is a powerful thing Buffy. I've been around for a hundred years and seen it form and destroy a man and women too."
"I don't have a hundred years. You know what the life expectancy of a Slayer is?"
"25," replies Spike.
"And I'm 20," she wipes some tears away, "I just want some happiness. If I had just tried, Riley might still be here."
"Balls to him. The daft git couldn't even see what he had. If he had, he wouldn't have left you like that. If I were him, I wouldn't have."
"If you were him," she starts laughing lightly. She looks up at Dawn's box seat and back down.
"Laugh all you want, I'm serious. You need a change, something different."
Just then Buffy looks to her right and sees Ben waiting.
"Something different huh?"
Spike presses his teeth together and his eyes wonder. The ride stops a minute later and they get off. Dawn is by Ben by the time their seat rotates down.
"What were you two talking about?" inquires Buffy.
"I was just telling Ben about your Haunted House experience."
"You really punched a guy in the nose?" asks Ben.
"Not so much punch as I . I totally went Tyson on him."
"Bleeding too?"
"Yeah, I think she broke it," Dawn continues to add.
"When you get a bloody nose, the best thing to do is lean down."
"I thought it was tilt you head back" says Buffy.
"That's enough of this. Come on little bit. Let these two play boring doctor," Spike says annoyedly.
Dawn and Spike walk off.
"Be careful!" Buffy yells out.
Spike tosses up a hand in recognition.
"You were saying?" Buffy asks Ben.
"You tilt you head down. Only up if you like the taste of your own blood. Who is that guy?"
"A friend."
"He's awfully pale. I could probably prescribe a topical cream for tanning.

"All this excitement has gone to my blatter. Can you hold on? I'm going to go to the restroom."
"Don't be long, I may be dead, but I have things to do."
"I'll only be a couple of minutes."
Spike pulls out his cigarettes and whacks the bottom into the palm of his hand. He pulls out and lights it. As he shuts the lighter a man exits the men's bathroom. He stops and looks at Spike. Spike takes the cig out of his mouth and blows smoke.
"What?"
"Brother," the man says.
"I'm not your brother."
"You are one of us."
Spike stops smoking and looks at him.
"Can you be here at closing?" Frederick asks quietly.
"For what?"

O'Malley happens to be passing by and stops to watch.

"I'll see what I can do," Spike answers.
"Are kind must stick together," and walks off. Spike sees Dawn approaching and throws the fag down and steps on it.
"Who was that?" she asks.
"Just some circus bloke. You know those people, strange fellows they are. Come along then."
They walk off and O'Malley takes a deep breath and continues to where he was going.

Ben and Buffy walk up to a game both.
"Oh, the teddy bear. It's so sweet."
"You want me to win it for you? Cause I can play the role of strong, manly type."
"You each shot a stream of water into the clowns mouth and the red nose on his face rises. First to the top wins. Two tickets," the booth operator says.
"That's a nice medallion," Buffy comments to the booth attendant.
"Thanks," he tries to cover it up with his shirt, " for you, it's free."
"Hey, alright. My luck us already improving," Buffy rejoices.
Ben hands his tickets to the guy and he prepares along with Buffy. They both aim.
"Ready .aim . fire!"
And they both squeeze the triggers and the water shoots out. Buffy faulters at first and falls behind. Ben wins
"I knew I couldn't beat you," she says to Ben.
The attendant hands Ben the bear. He turns around and hands it to Buffy. She smiles deviously and turns the water gun toward Ben.
"No! Don't do it, don't . ugh!"
He lurches over.
"Ben, are you alright?"
"I got stomach troubles. Where's the nearest bathroom?" he asks the attendant. They guy points and Ben takes off.
"I'll be right back, promise."
Just before he reaches the door and after he is out of main view, he morphs into Glory.
"Where the hell am I? Oh god! You know what Ben? You can it this time," and morphs back. He hurries back to Buffy.
"Ben, are you alright? Do you need to go home?"
"Yeah, I think that's best. Go home, get some rest, take some Peptobismo. One in four doctors recommend it you know."
"Come on, well go find Dawn and Spike and head on back."

"Bye! Goodnight, sorry about your stomach!"
Ben waves and runs to his door and unlocks it.
"So I take it you'll had a lovely time?"
Buffy puts the SUV into gear.
"What?" asks Spike.
"Buffy?" says Dawn.
"I wasn't sure the other night, because it could have been a fluke, but there was major vamp activity. I didn't know vampires went to the circus."
A few minutes later she stops the cat at Spike's cemetery.
"Last stop on the Buffy Express. Werewolves, vampires and demons depart."
Spike gets out.
"Wait!" calls out Dawn.
He puts his hands on the door and the side and leans his head in.
"Yeah?"
"Did you have a good time?"
"Oh, loads."
He closes the door and Buffy rolls down her window.
"Spike! Do do, da la la, do do, dah dah," and whistle a well-known circus tune.
They drive off laughing. When they are out of sight, Spike makes his way back quickly. After about ten or 15 minutes he finally makes his way back.
All the people and cars are gone and most the lights are off. He walks slowly into the darkened maze of rides and game booths. A lone figure rises with a shot gun aimed at Spike's head.
"Now son, you just hold extremely still. This is not place a wee lad to be at such hours."
Spike shifts his face.
"I just thought I'd chew your ear."
O'Malley lowers his shotgun and shifts his face. He walks out from the booth.
"Well lad. Chew on this," and he starts walking.
Spike follows O'Malley into his trailer where Frederick and three other vampires are waiting.
"This here is Frederick, Tommy, Colin and old Sven. Sven was picked up five years ago from another country."
"Is that so," said Spike.
"This is him O'Malley. He bares an uncanny resemblance don't you think?" Frederick points out.
"What's he going on about?"
"Well lad. You seem to share a remarkable likeness to William the Bloody"
"You slaughtered my family and had their severed heads impaled apon railroad spikes," Sven recants of his past.
Sven walks up closer to Spike. Spike takes a deep breath and puts his shoulders back.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. Their blood soaked dirt, stomach acid killed the vegetation under the pole and left me homeless," Spike sweats, "it was the best day of my life. You turned me that night and for that I am forever grateful."
He pats Spike on his left shoulder, "Brother."
"You really are William. My Irish eyes smile apon you son, but for what reason could you possibly be here, in this town?"
"We have a wonderful mandatory volunteer program here," he says sarcastically, "you see, a secret army organization, dedicated to destroying are kind, puts a chip in your head. I got Intel Inside. It represses the brain's thoughts of bad stuff. It won't let you hurt people. I've nestled down here until I find a way to get that bloody thing out."
"Blimey. New, strange worlds. So you can't fight back" O'Malley inquires.
"No. I would love to."
Smack! O'Malley slaps him across the face. Spike represses the urge to fight back. O'Malley smiles.
"Now as soon as they invent one that makes you do the jog, then I will have seen it all," O'Malley laugh out loud.
They all laugh at him.
"Let me pour you a drink," O'Malley offers. He walks over to the small fridge. Spike looks around.
"Right."
"You really slaughtered 2,000 people?" Tommy asks in disbelief.
"More actually."
"Dang. I heard you killed two Slayers."
"They had it coming."
"You're a fearless one aren't ya?" O'Malley questions Spike.
Spike takes the shot back and slams the glass down.
"I'm William the Bloody."
"That you are. When we leave this town, I'll see to it that hardware is removed."
"I know you didn't just come here to liquor me all up. You want something. Now what is it?" Spike demands.
"Aye, we do. We would like you to join us. You see, we go around town to town, feeding. We never stay long enough to get caught, or over indulge. We take their money, credit cards and jewelry. In a good week, we make upwards of 5,000 if they have bank accounts."
"Full bank accounts," Tommy adds.
"We then split it and save. Years later, when we've saved enough, we finally settle down. Set for life. A little investing and blood banks and we can blend in and disappear into society. We recently had a retirement and are looking for a replacement. Would you be game?"
Spike looks at the anticipating faces and replies, "Sure. Why not? It's the next best thing to winning the lottery."
"William," he chants, "William."
They all join in chanting William. O'Malley pous Spike another shot.. He takes it back fast and slams it.
"Hit me again."
O'Malley pours him another and joins his mates in chanting. Spike looks arounf. The room moves and he fells dizzy. He takes the shot back quickly and drops the glass.
"Williams! William! William!"
Their voices echo in his ears.

Buffy makes her way down stairs. Xander and Willow are studying.
"Es giht kein chaos, keine verwirrung," Xander reads from a book.
"What," Buffy stops, "did you just say?"
"We're learning German," Willow answers.
"There is no chaos or confusion," Xander replies.
"I hope I don't come across any Ubervamps," Buffy joins in. That circus gives me the willies."
"Das unber vamperschnitz?"
Willow laughs at Xander's German voice.
"Quiet, I'm serious, there were a few there, I could feel it. We may be on to something."
"Ouk dee leeber!" Xander yells.
"Okay you've had your fun. I'm going to go patrolling tonight."
"Buffy, you want us to come? I don't mind - neither does Xander."
"Oh yes, I run head long into danger and tackle it until it roars."
"That's awful sweet of you guys, but I can handle a few vamps."
"Your mom called, she'll be late tonight. Closing some deals," Willow tells Buffy.
"Thanks. Do you guys think you can watch Dawn until she gets home?"
"Sure," Xander says.
"No problem," Willow follows.
"Thanks guys."
"And gals," Willow corrects.
"And gals. Looking for vampires at the circus, if they don't get me, the carnies will."
"Yah, dare da wurst."
Buffy groans and Willow lightly punches Xander in the stomach.
"You get it? Wurst? With a 'U'?"