A/N: So here it is, another update. I'm on a roll!
rp: I promised myself that I would not do this when I wrote my own story but, I lied. You're right, Keelin has adapted very well. The whole subplot with her new position is rather condensed because this story is already quite long and I didn't want to get into too much detail about that. It's at 213 pages in Word format and is not yet finished. :) I'm glad you like good King Ludwig, though. He's one of my favorite characters in the story.
Nadia: Thank you for all the encouraging reviews! It's flattering that I'm distracting you from your studying but not too much, I hope. I wouldn't want you to not do as well on your exams because of this story. And, yes, I am on vacation this week. Basically, I work a really crappy job right now. My only purpose in staying there is to save up money for when hubby and I have our baby then I'll be a stay at home mommy. I've only got three more months of work to go! Once I stay home, I'll be trying to do as much writing as possible, as that's my real love in life.
Chapter 33
It was not long before war was declared. Rhain had known all along that France was aching for a fight and they had not disappointed him. They broke all trade agreements with Germany and Italy as soon as they received news of the alliance. Naturally, the next step was for them to declare war and to incite minor skirmishes with English, German, and Italian traders in France. As soon as Rhain received word, he began to gather his troops and supplies and to prepare them for the voyage to France.
Keelin was unusually silent during the days of preparation and Rhain could see from the look in her eye that she was extremely frightened. He knew that this was the cause of her silence. She did not want to burden him with her worries.
The night before he left, Rhain took his dinner in his chamber with her. He had been locked in meetings all the day long and had not had a single glimpse of her. Seeing her now made his heart bleed. She was wearing a green velvet gown that was very complimentary to the tone of her skin and the elaborate arrangement of her hair, but her face was very pale. After nearly an hour of watching her push her food around on her plate, Rhain pushed his own plate away and stood.
"Come, I can bear this no longer. You must tell me what is on your mind," he said to her.
She glanced at him and quickly looked away, but he did not miss the glimmer of tears in her eyes. "Nay, I will not," she said, quietly. "I will not burden you with my fears."
Rhain felt his heart soften. He walked over to her side of the table and took her hands in his. "Keelin, I know you are frightened. I am frightened as well. 'Tis only natural. I cannot bear to see you like this and to know that there is something you are concealing from me."
"There is nothing, really," she told him, still avoiding his gaze. "'Tis merely that I have had the unsettling feeling that something is right before my eyes but I am unable to see it."
The prince felt a sense of alarm at her words. "'Tis nothing," he said, trying to sound certain.
"Something is wrong," she insisted, flatly. She turned her face to his suddenly. "Oh, beloved, only promise me you will take good care of yourself while you are gone and that you will be always on your guard."
"I swear to you that I shall," he told her, stroking her cheek.
"I shall not be easy until you return," she told him.
"And return I shall," he said, deliberately making his voice light, "for I have the most beautiful angel who will await my return. What is more, upon this return I shall wed this beautiful angel. Do you think I would be foolish enough not to return?"
Keelin smiled bravely. "I am no angel," she said.
"That I shall never believe," he told her. "Come now, let us embrace. I shall miss your embrace while I am gone and I would certainly return home as swiftly as possible were it merely to receive one single embrace from you."
"When you return I shall never let you go," Keelin told him, rising and embracing him, as he requested.
"That would present many interesting problems. How would it be possible for us to be wed at our ceremony if you refuse to allow me to leave your embrace?" he asked her in a teasing tone.
She smiled once more. "'Twould make the situation difficult but I care not," she said.
Rhain smiled and bent down to kiss her. They were silent for several moments, exchanging warm, loving kisses, each of them trying to contain their desperation.
"My memories of such kisses shall keep me warm at night," he whispered huskily to her.
"They shall keep me warm as well," Keelin said, her voice deliciously throaty.
Rhain felt a flash of longing that was so severe he had to clench his teeth against it. He fought to keep his emotions in check. He wanted her so badly at that moment, wanted to carry her off into his bed, but he knew that now was not the time.
Needing to put a little distance between them in order to keep his feelings in check, Rhain stepped back from her and began to trace the shape of her face with his fingertips.
"I have something for you," she told him. She reached into the small pouch that was hanging from her belt and produced a small box. She held it out to him and he took it from her with a questioning look in his eye.
"I wanted you to have a piece of me with you always, just as I always have a piece of you with me," she said.
Rhain opened the box and found that it contained a ring. It was expertly crafted with a band of thick gold and a round top that had been carved in a love knot motif.
"Allow me," she said, reaching out and showing him a hidden button. When she pressed it, the top of the ring came loose and, pushing it back, he saw that a lock of her hair tied with a tiny bit of satin rested within. The hinge was set on the inside so that it was impossible to tell that there was a chamber within.
"Oh, Keelin," he said. He was overcome with emotion. Carrying this ring with him into battle would mean so much more than she could ever know. He pulled her to him and embraced and kissed her once more, pouring all of his love for her into the kiss. "Thank you," he said, simply.
"May God keep you safe," she said to him.
He now knew it was time to tell her the most difficult thing he could ever imagine telling her. "I want you to know that, should I not return…"
The king was unable to speak another word out before Keelin burst into violent sobs. "Do not say such a thing!" she begged.
Rhain pressed her head to his chest and let her sob. He stroked her hair soothingly until she calmed and her tears subsided. "My love, I must tell you this," he said, very very gently. "I must know that you will be well provided for should something happen to me. I have arranged for you to receive a living and I have stipulated that you are to remain in the castle, should you wish it. If you decide to marry, you will receive a generous dowry."
"Marry!" she exclaimed, pulling away from him. Her face was aghast. "Do you honestly think that I could marry another if you were not to return?"
"It would be my wish for you to find someone to love and protect you as I could not," he said, as gently as possible.
Keelin shook her head vigorously. "Nay, I could never marry another. Speak no more of this."
She turned away from him and walked over to one of the windows. She clung to the tapestry that covered it and he could see her shoulders shaking as she began to cry quietly.
"'Tis not easy for me to speak of this," he said, softly. "But, Keelin, I must think of you or I would have no rest. How could I go into battle knowing that I did not provide for you if something were to happen to me? I would do anything in my power to see to it that you would be safe and happy and that you would be surrounded by people who love and care about you."
"I
refuse to think of it," she said, her voice choked. "'Tis unbearable."
Rhain walked over to her and
took her in his arms once again. "Then
do not think of it," he said. "I only
wanted you to know that you will be secure."
"I shall not be secure until you are safely back at home and France is defeated."
"Then
I shall see to it that both occur."
"Swear it to me," Keelin
begged, her voice desperate.
"I swear it on my father's honor," Rhain said.
"Then 'twill be true," she said and he could feel the tension begin to ebb out of her body.
She did not remain in his chamber much longer. Rhain could see that she was exhausted and he took her back to her chamber and made her promise that she would rest that night. Before leaving her, he gave her a long, lingering kiss, closing himself off to every sound and sensation other than the feel of her kiss. He wanted to memorize her kiss, her face, the sound of her voice so that he could think of them at night, so that he would be able to block out the screams of dying men. He wanted to take something pure and beautiful with him into the horrors of battle.
*****
When Keelin rose the next morning, it was almost as if she could hear the throbbing beat of war drums surrounding her. They sounded like her heartbeat, rapid and desperate. She once again had the sickening sensation that something was horribly wrong. It was so strong that it caused her to bend over double and gasp for breath. She did so as quietly as possible, so that her ladies would not hear her. Keelin knew that the women would presumably keep her secrets, that they had been specifically chosen for their trustworthiness as well as their suitability, but there were some secrets that Keelin was unwilling to share with anyone else. She was determined to put on as much of a brave face as possible and to do all she could to conceal her inner turmoil.
Catherine gently called out to her, "My lady, are you awake?"
"Aye," Keelin replied, wearily.
"My lady, you must dress so that you may break fast with His Highness," Miranda's voice piped in.
Keelin pushed the curtains aside, allowing her ladies to see her. "Has Alinda laid out my gown?"
"Aye, my lady," Diana responded.
"Very well," Keelin said, relieved not to have to make what seemed such a frivolous choice at the moment.
"Are you ready to rise?" Miranda asked.
"Aye," Keelin said, pulling herself from the bed. "Where is Alinda?"
"She has gone to fetch your bath," Catherine told her.
At just that moment, the door opened and Alinda poked her head into the chamber. "Ah, you are awake," she said, seeing Keelin.
"Aye," Keelin said, running a weary hand through her hair.
"Come now, your bath is ready."
Keelin rose from the bed and moved into her dressing chamber. She dismissed her ladies and sank gratefully into the warm, lavender-scented water. There was little time to linger but she did all she could to allow the soothing scent and temperature of the water help to clear her head. She felt slightly better by the time she pulled herself out of the bath, drying herself off, and then donning her wrap. Her ladies reentered the chamber and helped her to dress before arranging her hair and decorating her with gems. When they were finished, she wore a gown of deep crimson velvet with an embroidered gold ribbon detailing the square neckline, the bell sleeves, and the hemline. A gold rope belt was slung over her slim hips. Her hair had been arranged in an elaborate coil at the base of her neck, with a tail of satiny curls that tumbled down her back. She wore a necklace fashioned of gold and magnificent garnets and matching earrings. The king arrived for her just as her ladies finished.
The future queen's heart was full as she gazed on her beloved. He wore a forest green velvet doublet over his blousy white shirt and a pair of tight green velvet breeches. A green velvet cape trimmed in ermine and bearing an enormous, elaborately worked gold clasp was thrown carelessly over his shoulders. His hair had been carefully tied back and his crown perched upon his brow. A gold and emerald chain had been arranged over his shoulders and a large gold royal medallion dangled in the center of his chest. The look on his face was grim.
"Come, my darling," he said to Keelin, offering her his arm.
"Good morrow," she said softly, as she accepted it.
"Good morrow," he replied, pausing for a moment to kiss her softly. She knew by the manner in which his jaw muscles spasmed that he was trying very hard to keep his emotions in check.
He led her into the great hall, where they dined with assorted nobility and the realm's most important knights. The mood was sober and a strange hush hung over the chamber. More than once, Keelin spotted noble women making the sign of the cross and folding their hands in silent prayer. She understood just how they felt.
When the meal was over, Rhain retired to his chamber to change into his armor for his sendoff. Keelin paced the floor of her chamber, her ladies banished to another part of the castle as she tried to keep the tears from flowing down her cheeks. She heard a soft rap at the door. She was curious, for Rhain never knocked on her door as he was always announced before his entrance. Keelin opened the door and was surprised to see Edwyn standing before her. Rhain's most faithful knight and friend was already in his armor and wearing his crimson surcoat with its embroidered gold lion emblem.
"Edwyn," Keelin said, unable to conceal the surprise in her voice.
"Forgive me, my lady, if I have disturbed you," he said, darting a somewhat nervous-looking glance around the corridor.
"Please, come in," Keelin said, pulling the door open wide to admit him.
He entered the chamber hurriedly, his eyes scanning it just as they had done in the corridor. Wordlessly, Keelin closed her door and then turned to face him.
"My lady, I wanted you to know that I will do everything in my power to protect His Majesty," he said, tugging at his surcoat in a nervous gesture.
"I have no doubt that you will," Keelin said, touched that he had come to reassure her.
"I cannot pretend that I do not feel much wariness at the thought of this war with France but I am certain of one thing and that is that I shall see to it that His Majesty returns."
"How could I doubt it when he shall have such a protector as you?" Keelin asked, her voice warm.
Edwyn looked into her eyes. "My lady, I beg of you to understand that I would lay down my life for His Majesty. I have sworn my life in service to Rhain, ever since we were young children. I love him as my own brother and I know how important he is to this land."
Keelin studied Edwyn for a moment before replying. "Is it my troubled thoughts that you seek to put to rest or your own?" she asked him.
Edwyn sighed and turned away from her for a moment, walking over to one of her windows and gazing out. "You have seen through me."
"What is it that troubles you, Edwyn? You seem so certain that no harm will come to Rhain so what more have you to fear?" she asked.
"I fear not for Rhain's safety for I am certain in my heart of hearts that all will turn out well with him. Rather, 'tis you I fear for," he said, as gently as possible, turning to face her as he spoke the words.
In spite of his gentleness, Keelin could taste the metallic flavor of fear in her mouth. "Why should you fear for me? I shall be here in the castle, in England. Can there be a safer place for me? Certainly I am far safer here than Rhain shall be on the battlefield."
Edwyn crossed the chamber and took her hands in his. "My lady, I beg of you to practice the utmost caution. Trust no one other than the queen for as long as we are gone. Do not allow yourself to be left alone and do not stray from the castle walls."
"You alarm me, Edwyn," Keelin said, frankly. She could feel her heart begin to pound in her chest.
"I only hope that by being alarmed you will be on your guard," Edwyn said. "At times like these, it does not pay to trust anyone. There are always intrigues afoot and you yourself know that if Mordrid wishes to attack Rhain in the most efficient means possible, he will do whatever he can to get to you."
Keelin turned her face from Edwyn's, willing herself to be strong. "How I hate to think of myself as being the source of Rhain's weakness."
"Alas, you are," Edwyn said, truthfully.
"I would not do anything to compromise the safety of this land or that of Rhain. Should something happen to me, I would gladly sacrifice my life for the safety of this realm."
"Aye, I know," Edwyn said, his voice a mixture of admiration and soothing tones. "I know you are fine and brave, my lady. I know you are resolved to do what you must for your country. I am asking you to understand that such a decision is not so easily made for Rhain. Imagine yourself in his position. Could you choose to sacrifice the life of the man you love?"
Keelin was shocked by the sense of his words. She had never really thought of what it would mean for Rhain to have to make such a decision. For her, there had been no second thoughts. When it came right down to it, she would lay down her life for her country and for her beloved. She had been foolish enough to think that there was safety in this knowledge. She had never before thought of the repercussions if she were to be captured and Rhain were to be forced to make such a decision. Keelin knew that if she had to make such a choice, it would be one that would almost surely kill her. How could she possibly choose to sacrifice the love of her life without wishing to die alongside him?
"I have never thought of that," Keelin said, her voice faltering and her face turning pale.
"I beg of you not to say anything of this to Rhain. He would be most angry with me if he knew I had alarmed you in this manner. I merely wish to beg of you your assurances that you will be most scrupulous and diligent in ensuring your own safety."
"You have my word that I will be," Keelin replied.
"Thank you, my lady. I am much comforted." He took her hands in his once more and pressed them gently. "Watch after yourself and Her Majesty while we are gone."
"I will," Keelin promised.
"I must go before Rhain finds me here," Edwyn told her.
Keelin nodded, too overcome to speak. The knight slipped from the chamber, closing the door soundlessly behind him. Keelin was truly shaken by his words and she wrapped her arms around herself, as if to stop the trembling of her own body. She had never before realized just how much was at stake because of this war. She would have to virtually imprison herself in order to keep herself safe.
Soon, much too soon, Rhain arrived at her door. They shared a few brief kisses before they were forced to move out to the docks. Once there, Rhain gave a speech of reassurance to his people, his voice resounding in the still air. Keelin kept up a brave face as best she could. Finally, the time came for Rhain to board his ship. He embraced and kissed his mother before turning to Keelin.
"Just as before, I shall return to you," he vowed to her.
"And just as before, I wish you Godspeed. I shall await your return," she replied, unable to keep the tears from misting her eyes over.
"Watch over my mother as well as yourself," he said to her.
"You have my word," she whispered fiercely. It took every ounce of her self-control to prevent the tears from slipping down her cheeks.
"Fare thee well, my most cherished love."
"Fare thee well, my own darling love," she replied.
Keelin fervently wished that Rhain could kiss her again but she knew that they could not make such a display in front of so many people. Instead, he lowered his lips to her hand and gave it a chivalrous kiss. She, in turn, handed him a token to take with him into battle, in this case one of her scented handkerchiefs. The gesture seemed paltry to her, for she wished she could have given Rhain something more substantial, such as an unbreakable shield with which to defend himself. The giving of the handkerchief was done solely as a show for the people.
As the men turned and boarded the ship, the queen reached out and grasped Keelin's hand in her own. Keelin could hear her future mother-in-law's sobbing breaths as the sails were unfurled and the ships began to glide off into the early morning sun. The queen choked on a violent sob and Keelin gently steered her away from the crowd, leading her into their closed carriage. Once inside, the queen gave free vent to her tears and, exhausted by her own efforts at controlling her emotions, Keelin soon joined her.
