Holy Crapola! How long has it been since I wrote the first chapter of the story? 10 months, dang! It's been sooooo long. And now due to popular demand, little ol' lazy me is writing the 2nd chapter of this story. Can you believe it? Cause if you can't, you are an idiot because here's the 2nd chapter right here! Right in front of you so how can you not believe it exists?! And now on with the 2nd chapter of....

Mystery of the Random Chests

Chapter 2:

yelled Link as he tripped over yet another chest. This must have been the 30th, no 31st chest Link has tripped over since he left Kokiri Forest and set off towards Hyrule Castle Town to see the Janitor about all the random treasure chests everywhere. Link was halfway to the town, only another 31 chests to go. The sun was rising over Hyrule Castle signaling the start of the day. Geeze how many days has it been since I left the forest? Link asked himself, Three so this is the fourth day. What I don't get is how can 4 days go by when I've been only walking.... and tripping.... for THREE FRIGGIN' MINUTES?!?!?!?!? Link was baffled by how the days and nights can go by so fast.

This is a video game you moron! yelled the sun, I go up and down as fast as the programmers program me too, geeze you are an idiot.

Link tried to pronounce, What's that? Wait a minute! The sun can't talk... eeeeeeekkkkkkkkk! Link tripped over another chest.

Well watta you going to do bout it punk? taunted the sun. You wanna fight, I'll kick ya ass!

Fine, bring it on! Link taunted back. Link pulled out his bow and an arrow and shot the sun.

said the sun as it fell down beyond the horizon, defeated. The moon suddenly popped up into the sky and it became night time.

Link trailed off, That was just about the strangest thing that's happened to me since Gannondorf coughed up green blood...... now I just want to get to that Janitor and figure out where all these chests..... Link stopped suddenly while taking a step forward realizing that he almost tripped over another chest. I'll take this a little more carefully so I don't trip over anymore of these stupid chests. Link took out his sword and ran like heck towards the town holding the sword out in front of him. Stalkids begin to pop up out of the ground now that it was night but Link just got chopped to itty little bits with the sword that he was holding in front of him.

He finally reached the moat surrounding Hyrule Castle Town, surprisingly without tripping over any more chests. Hmmmm.... maybe the secret of getting around obstacles in life like the chests is just to run past em and forget they ever existed..... no too philosophical. Link told himself. There was one more problem, the drawbridge into the town was closed because it was night and only opened in the day. Link spent several hours trying to climb to the top of the wall surrounding the town but he would always trip over a chest and fall off into the moat. Finally a thought popped into Link's head after hours of getting soaked. Maybe philosophy will work, if I run, jump over the moat and pretend the drawbridge doesn't exist, I might run past it like how I ran past the chests. Link thought his idea was brilliant. He positioned himself before the closed drawbridge and started running towards it. He took a flying leap over the moat which he surprisingly cleared and pretended to ignore the closed draw bridge that came ever closer to his face as he jumped. SMACK! Link smacked hard into the wood of the drawbridge. He slowly slid down the upright back of the drawbridge, making an annoying screeching noise, into the moat. I'm such an idiot thought Link as he pulled out the Ocarina of Time and proceeded to play the Sun's Song which changes night to day and day to night. The sun came up, with a bandage on where it was shot with the arrow, night turned to day, and the drawbridge lowered down.

Finally I can get inside Hyrule Castle Town and talk to the Janitor about these stupid chests! screamed Link at the top of his lungs. Some random useless pointless people were walking out of the town across the drawbridge. They gave Link a strange look after they heard him scream which made him feel embarrassed. Link then tripped over another randomly placed treasure chest as he crossed the drawbridge making the moment even more embarrassing. The random useless pointless people picked up their walking pace to get away from Link and were gone soon afterwards.

Link walked into the town soaking wet and bruised but no one seemed to notice that or the fact that treasure chests were randomly placed all over the place. Everyone seemed to be about their usual things which bartering, talking, chasing chickens, and one bald guy kept running in a circle over and over again carrying a bag. Now where was the Janitor's office? Link asked himself, It was where the old Happy Mask Shot used to be

Link remembered the Happy Mask Shop, it went out of business because it had the worst way of selling stuff. Link went into the place once long ago and the crazy mask salesman wanted Link to borrow masks and sell them to people. Since Link was lazy, he didn't do it and since he was the only customer the place ever got, it went out of business. Soon after the Janitor moved his office there from some hole in the ground (there are a lot of holes in the ground in Hyrule)

Link walked up to the Janitor's office and looked up at an new sign above the building. The sign read Starbucks. screamed Link in frustration, I went through all that to get to the Janitor's office and it got turned into a coffee shop! Link's anger became even greater, And this is the place Navi always goes!! Stupid Annoying Fairy!!! I hate Navi, I hate Starbucks, and I hate all these randomly placed treasure chests everywhere!!!!!! Link stopped screaming at the top of his lungs and looked around expecting everyone to be looking at him like he was an idiot. Everyone kept doing their own thing as if Link never was there. Link furiously entered Starbucks with the intent on burning it down.

Inside Starbucks there were a few people sitting and drinking coffee. There was non other than the great Navi flying behind the counter. She noticed Link who was red with anger standing at the entrance ready to cast Din's Fire. She flew over to him and said HEY LISTEN! HEY LISTEN! HEY LISTEN LINK!!!! HOW DO YOU LIKE MY NEW SUPER UBER COOL STARBUCKS!?!?

Link turned around in shock but only muttered, I hate you Navi..... under his breath.

IT IS SOOOOO GREAT!! Navi screeched, high off caffeine, I JUST GOT MY PAYCHECK FROM THE FAIRY PARTNER JOB I DID WITH YOU AND IT WAS SOOOOOO MUCH MONEY! I COULDN'T DECIDE WHAT TO DO WITH THE MONEY, I HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN MY TWO FAVORITE THINGS WHICH ARE ANNOYING THE HELL OUT OF YOU!!! AND DRINKING A TON OF COFFEE!!! SO I FINALLY THOUGHT, WHY NOT DO BOTH, SO I BOUGHT THIS PLACE FROM THE JANITOR AND SENT HIM OFF TO SOME RANDOM AFRICAN COUNTRY, I FORGOT WHERE, SO YOU'LL NEVER FIGURE OUT WHERE ALL THESE CHESTS ARE COMING FROM AND I CAN NOW DRINK AS MUCH COFFEE AS I WANT!!!!!!! AREN'T I SOOOOOOOOOOOO SUPER SMART?! HUH?! HUH?! I GET TO DO BOTH OF MY FAVORITE THINGS NOW BECAUSE I BOUGHT THIS PLACE AHAHAHAHHAH! LALALALALALLALA!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shut up! Link screamed at Navi, Shut up, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP! Link grabbed a cup of coffee and chucked it at Navi.

Navi screeched as she ate the cup, coffee and all in one gulp in mid air. I NEED MORE COFFEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crash! A treasure chest fell through the roof of Starbucks right on Navi smashing her into the ground. Several more treasure chests fell through the roof, hitting the ground in random locations. The few people inside Starbucks ran (and shook because they had too much caffeine) around in circles in terror.

For once, an semi-intelligent thought popped into Link's head: If I go outside and see where these treasure chests are falling from, I might be able to see what is dropping them and find out who it is behind the whole random chest thing.

And now started a new two part adventure for Link which we shall read about.....




Right Now!!

Part One:
Link opens the door of Starbucks.

Part Two:
Link Steps outside.

And that's the conclusion of Link's great adventures for now. Stay tuned for the 3rd chapter (don't worry, i'll write it in less than 10 months). So watcha think? Please R&R!