Here's Chapter 3. Thanks for all the praise and fame and telling me how crappy my grammar is! Can't think of much to say. As for the guy who likes commas here's plenty --,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, that enough for you? Good now on with the fic! Oh yeah and it didn't take me 10 months to finished this chapter!

Mystery of the Random Chests

Chapter 3:

Link barley made it out the door of Starbucks Coffee when a giant treasure chest (the biggest Link has ever seen) fell onto Starbucks totally destroying it. It was raining treasure chests everywhere and everyone was screaming running for cover trying to avoid getting hit by treasure chests. Link was about to take out his ocarina and play a Navi is Dead victory song when he remembered he was trying to do something. Now what was I doing? Link asked himself, hmmmmmmmmm..... I forgot.... Bang! A treasure chest fell straight on top of Link's head. Oh now I remember! shouted Link, I came out here to see where all these chests are coming from! I'm so smart!

Link was about to look up when a huge crowd of panicked people, who were trying to escape from the raining chests, trampled him. Link had the pleasure of getting stepped on by 30 different people and learning what Hylian Shoes: Version 2.1.5a tastes like.

Run for your lives! one women shouted after stepping on Link's face.

The end is near! an old man shouted after he stepped on Link's right hand.

Great ugly mother of Gannondorf! a castle guard shouted. Everyone looked back frozen with fear.

This gave time for Link to get up and see what was going on. Ooooooohhhhh my head, neck, left leg, right foot, back, face, and right hand... moaned Link. He raised his bruised head. Link screamed when he saw what all the other people were looking at. It was Britney Spears! Everything after that happened in slow motion.

Britney Spears started running, in slow motion, towards the crowd of people, that Link was in, screaming in a low pitched voice (Low pitched because of the slow motion).

Why is everything happening in slow motion? I didn't play the reverse song of time. wondered Link, who was not in slow motion. Everyone started running away from Britney Spears slowly. This gave time for Link to move out of the crowd, now that they were going so slow. Then Link realized that Britney Spears wasn't the thing people were freaked out by. Behind Britney Spears stood the chicken that people were chasing earlier and above it a treasure chest was falling, ever so slowly. Link knew all too well, what happened when the chickens of Hyrule get hurt. Oh crap... was all Link could muster when everything suddenly snapped back into full motion.

Everyone panicked three times as much, and ran away faster than Link thought normal people could run, as the treasure chest came crashing down onto the chicken. crowed the chicken in pain. Out of nowhere hundreds of chickens appeared and start charging at the nearest living being with blood lust. It just so happens that Britney Spears was the closest one. The hundreds of chickens started attacking Britney Spears. Link lost sight of Britney in the furry of feathers. Within seconds the chickens scattered, randomly attacking other people, leaving no trace of Britney Spears. Even her breast implants were gone (Well they were in the chickens stomachs.... but it's best not to think about that).

The chickens also proceeded to attack the treasure chests that were randomly littered around, probably for trying to hurt that one other chicken. Eeeek! Ouch! Stop that you stupid chickens! screamed the treasure chests as they all got up and ran away leaving no treasure chest around.

One of the chickens charged at a hylian guard who was trying to fend another chicken off. The chicken smashed the guard hard with one peck, he stumbled back and fell face first into the ground. crowed the guard. Suddenly, out of nowhere, hundreds of guards appeared and they started charging at the nearest living chicken with blood lust. Hyrule Castle Town exploded into open warfare between all the hylian guards and all the chickens.

Damn chickens! screamed Link as unfortunate guards and chickens flew over Link's head in the fighting, They had to scare away all the treasure chests leaving me still unable to figure out where they are coming from. If I never figure out where the chests are coming from I'll be tripping over them for the rest of my life.....

crowed a chicken as it flew straight at Links head, intending to decapitate him.

Link screamed as he tripped over a chest that was running away from the chickens.

The chicken barley missed Link's head as he fell and flew straight into the spear of a hylian guard. I got one! I got one! delighted the guard who really didn't do anything but stand there.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr damn chests and chickens!! Link screamed in rage. Link got up and started attacking the nearest chicken. His sword had no effect on the chicken so Link took out his bow and shot the chicken with an arrow, that also did nothing. Why is it that I can't ever kill those damn chickens! Of all the things I can't kill! Why does it have to...... Links screaming was cut short by 5 chickens that charged Link. Several guards came to Link's rescue and impaled 4 of the chickens with their spears. Link smashed the last one with the Megaton Hammer. All the chicken did was crow, summoning even more chickens. Okay, I've had enough, I'm going to see the King about the dang chests, thought Link.

The summoned chickens attacked the guards that where trying to save Link. In turn, the guards crowed, summoning more guards. The newly summoned guards attacked the chickens.

Link stormed out of the town and towards Hyrule Castle. Feathers, spears, and both chicken and hylian heads flew through the air behind Link as he left. Link was glad to escape the chaos of the battle. The town behind him was nothing but a blur of battle and soon erupted in flames. Link picked up his pace along the path towards the castle to get away from all the chaos.

In the distance Link heard a familiar voice. Check... check... check.... check, check, check, check. It was Mido who was adding many checks to the How Many Times Link Has Fallen Out Of His House checklist.
What are you doing here Mido? asked Link, I thought you were too scared to leave the forest.

Well well well if it isn't wimpy Linkey boy! If you must know, I left the forest to come make fun of you! because I have absolutely nothing better to do, humph! screeched Mido in his usual annoying voice, Let's see.... you've tripped over 98 chests today alone.... A new record! sooo...

Link began

Silence, you are before the great Mido! Mido screeched, Mido added another check to the How Many Times Link Has Fallen Out Of His House checklist.

That''s the How Many Times Link Has Fallen Out Of His House checklist, not the How Many Times Link Has Tripped over a chest checklist, stated Link.

Are you calling me an idiot? Mido asked.

Of course! you are the biggest idiot I have ever met, Mido. You are just about as smart as one of the rocks in front of your house. Wait no, those rocks are smarter than you! yelled Link.

Mido was about to open his mouth but then he remembered, Hold on, let me look at my Insult List. Mido put away his How Many Times Link Has Fallen Out Of His House checklist and pulled out several pieces of paper from his pocket. He sifted threw them looking for the perfect comeback. Link you are.... an ugly.... spider poopy...... stupid twiggy..... no goody.... dumb fish! Mido read off from his Insult List.

That was lame.... Link replied.

Boom! Hyrule Castle Town suddenly exploded sending the bodies of guards and chickens flying everywhere. The body of a guard and chicken landed right in-between Link and Mido.

Oooohhhh my rectum... moaned the guard, apparently alive.

Cluck cluck cluck... cluckity... McCluck.... moaned the chicken, also apparently alive.

Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh freaky moaning men and feathery things flying through the air! Mido shrieked as he ran back towards the direction of the forest.

Link helped the guard up, who thanked him. The guard killed the chicken, because Link couldn't, and then set off back towards the town to survey the damage.

It's all those dang treasure chests' fault, Link complained to himself, If they never came around, I would have never tripped over any, I would have never fallen out of my house attracting Mido's attention, and the whole crazy chicken thing would have never happened! I'm now going to see the King about this at once and figure out what's going on!

What will happen at the castle?
Will Link ever find out what's going on?
What will Princess Zelda think of all this? (Well it is a Zelda story so I got to put her in here somewhere)
Find out in our next chapter.....
Chapter 16! wait.... no it's Chapter 6... no 3... no 5.... OOOOOOOOHHHHH I KNOW! It's chapter 4! yeah that's right! So ummm go ahead and give me reviews!