Meet the Misfits
Disclaimer: Same as before. I don't own the lyrics to Minus Human, Metallica does. Also, this takes place some time after the events of Kingdom Hearts, when Sora and the Heartless became all but myth to humanity. However, the Gamma Unit was created for interdimensional special operations, specifically against the Heartless. Legend tells that the wielder of the Keyblade will return with the King when the time is right.
~ ~ ~ ~
"Welcome to the nuthouse." Low Light muttered and opened the door.
"Wak! Polly want a prozac! Polly want a prozac!" a green parrot came flying past Bilby's face.
"Come back here birdie! We're not gonna hurt you very much this time." One of the Triplets shouted.
"We wanna see if our new flamethrower works properly." Quinn shouted.
"Stay away from them, they just love to experiment with strangers." Low Light said.
"Got it." Bilby shouted. From his years in the Special Forces Bilby knew that appearances were very often deceiving. These three ten year old girls, as harmless as they appeared, sure as hell loaned credit to that theory.
"Little girls playing with flamethrowers, and I thought my dimension was nuts." Bilby groaned to himself.
"That's not the half off it." Low Light replied.
"HELP! Save me!" Pietro screamed.
"Come back here and be clobbered like a man!" shouted a girl with short black hair wearing a red t-shirt and black jeans. The front of her t-shirt was soaking wet, as was her hair.
Bolts of energy shot from her fingers that barely missed the quick running boy. "Get all those dead bugs out of my shampoo right now!" Wanda shouted.
"Hi Low Light! Bye Low Light!" Pietro shouted as he ran away screaming from the angry girl.
"Wanda, calm down! Pietro get back here and meet our guest." Low Light shouted.
"The boy you saw was my brother, Pietro, let's just say he's a little crazy sometimes." Wanda said, "Come back here and fight like a man you sissy weasel!"
"There's a guest room upstairs." Low Light said, "Your gear's in my room, next door."
Bilby walked up the stairs and heard loud music coming out of the room across the hall from the guest room. He looked into the open door way to see a young man with black hair wearing no shirt and a pair of blue jeans. He was dancing around doing the air guitar to the tune of Metallica's I Disappear.
"You like Metallica." Bilby asked.
"Who are you man!?" Avalanche shouted.
"Martin Bilby. I'm a guest at your house." Bilby replied.
"Oh, you're that guy we found on our camping trip." Lance replied.
Bilby noticed an electric guitar leaning against the wall next to an amplifier. "You play?" Bilby asked.
"Yeah. How about you?" Lance asked.
"Yep." Bilby replied, "We used to rock the barracks all the time."
"Cool." Lance said, "I've got an extra guitar in the closet. Wanna jam session?"
"Sure man." Bilby replied, plugging the other guitar into the amp as Lance threw on a black t-shirt.
"NO! NO! NO!" Todd shouted, "Don't try to play music with Lance? You'll destroy the house!"
"Ignore frog boy right here." Lance said, "Ready when you are."
"Hell yeah." Bilby replied.
Both of them revved up their guitars and started to sing, loud but fairly off key. "Don't you leave me, Father Time! Take me with you! Tell me does your sun still shine! Come squeeze the world and drip it down my throat again!"
Althea appeared saying, "Oh God! Two of them! Lance, quit it with the musical numbers!"
"It could be worse. Lance could be singing those love songs he always serenades Kitty with." Todd replied.
"Who's Kitty?" Bilby asked.
"You're gonna die Toad!" Lance said, "Here's why this guitar is called the axe!"
Lance started to chase Toad around with the guitar held over his head. "Kitty is Lance's on again off again girlfriend." Althea replied, "They tease him endlessly about it. Lance has it head over heels for Kitty. Though sometimes I wish Kitty would make up her mind?"
"What do you mean?" Bilby asked.
"You'll find out soon enough." Althea groaned, "Lance will tell you all about it."
"Come back here frog breath! I'll knock you into next week!" Lance's shout could be heard all the way upstairs.
"Aren't you gonna stop them?" Bilby asked.
"Maybe in a bit." Althea replied, "Ah the strain of long distance relationships. You don't seem to be too frazzled by all this."
"My old unit was the same way." Bilby replied. "We had a guy who thought he was as good as any pop rocker, 'Sugar Ray' Murphy. He was your typical wanna be rocker, bleached blonde hair, yellow tint sunglasses, the whole nine yards. He would always be serenading the barracks at the wrong times. Especially when he had one two many pints of scotch he'd think he was Elvis Presley."
"He'd fit right in around here." Althea replied, "About half this base, especially my Dad, could be declared legally insane."
"EEEEEE! EEEEE! EEEE!" came the squawks of two babies crawling across the floor.
"Gotcha!" Bilby shouted and quickly scooped up Barney.
"BAAKK!" Barney shouted and whacked Bilby in the head with his whiffle bat.
"Wanker!" Bilby shouted and Barney jumped into Althea's arms where she was already carrying Claudius.
"I should've warned you about that kid and his whiffle bat." Althea replied.
Bilby didn't reply as he walked downstairs to go grab an ice pack. He didn't get two steps past the staircase when he was hit full in the head with a stream of whipped cream. He ducked behind the couch just as the three triplets, covered in whipped cream, ran away shrieking from the bearded sailor called Shipwreck who was also covered in whipped cream.
Bilby walked upstairs with the ice pack and soaked with whipped cream. "Let me guess, my dad and my insane little sisters were settling disputes in the traditional Delgato manner. Right?" Althea asked.
"Exactly." Bilby replied, "This is almost exactly like my old unit. Especially when "Buckaroo" got into the act."
"Buckaroo?" Althea asked.
"He was another bloke in our squadron who always was the point man, the guy in front, anytime we went on ops. His weapon of choice was a Mossberg 12 gauge shotgun. Any Heartless that ran into him would usually get a BIG surprise whenever he opened fire." Bilby replied, "Anyway, he'd always be blowing shaving cream cans apart with shotgun shells whenever he'd get bored. Then he'd get shaving cream everywhere and that would equal a huge shaving cream fight all over the barracks."
Bilby, despite talking about the memories of his old mates, felt a tinge of pain, the man he had mentioned to Althea, as well as Sugar Ray Murphy were both dead. They were among the seven casualties of the failed mission Foxtrot One Two. There was an eighth casualty on that roster, the soul of one Corporal Martin Bilby. Talking about his pals seemed to bring them back to life, almost as if Sugar Ray and Buckaroo were standing in the room engaging in one of their endless debates which ranged from the best flavor of licorice to the number of licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop. And there was also Akima.
Althea left to put the babies back in their crib as Bilby stood in the hallway lost in his own thoughts. How could he have not been attracted to Akima, so strong yet so vulnerable, so alive with passion for her new homeworld and dedication to her people? He had violated one of the Gamma unit's standard regulations, never fall in love with anyone in a universe you are protecting or attempting to liberate. It had all started when he was training one of her bodyguards, a young Chinese man in his mid twenties named Ling Sui. After Sui had been killed, Bilby replaced him as Akima's bodyguard temporarily. She always insisted she never needed one, but as a way to keep the support of her fellow resistance members, she graciously accepted the offer. Who would have thought that Martin Bilby, the sniper, would let his guard down and fall in love like that?
Sugar Ray and Buckaroo were his buddies through many an op, through thick and thin and through many an insane shaving cream fight. He couldn't help but be reminded of them through Lance and Shipwreck respectively. The Misfits, though they were crazy and demented, were a group that cared about each other through and through. Even Cover Girl, despite her constant clashes with Shipwreck, obviously cared about the crazy sailor in some way. His unit, both his original troop and his new one both served to keep him emotionally afloat as the surrogate family that he had lost many years ago.
The talent of being to read people almost after a few moments of meeting them was honed by years of covert operations to many different dimensions where he had to interact with the inhabitants of various worlds around the multiverse. He knew that at the very heart of the Misfit family was a pure and loving family bond. It was this warmth and love and peace of heart that drew the Heartless like flies to honey. It would drive them to consume the hearts of the denizens of this world, even the hearts of COBRA their own ally. It would ultimately lead them to the very heart of the world of GI Joe and lead to its ultimate destruction, as it had for the Titan AE universe. Bilby lowered his head sadly, there was no way he would allow it to happen, not as long as he, Corporal Martin Bilby, a sniper with 2 Troop, C Squadron was still breathing.
"Dinner time! Wak! Serve the inmates! WAK!" Polly flapped upstairs.
"Alright mate!" Bilby shouted and clomped down the stairs.
Cover Girl joined him at that moment, "So how was your first evening here?"
"Not too bad." Bilby replied, "This actually gives me a feeling of home. It's just like the wing that Charlie Squadron occupies in the barracks. There's so much craziness, and all the comforts of home. You have it good down here."
"Really?" Cover Girl asked.
"You have a unique bond between you all." Bilby replied.
"We're unique alright." Cover Girl replied as they sat down at the table.
"GAKKA WAKKA WAKKA!" Claudius shouted, waving his tiny flippers and flinging a spoonful of applesauce at Bilby.
"This is too much like the squadron." Bilby muttered.
Tearing into their food, one of the Misfits, the fat guy, Fred, spattered Pietro with mashed potatoes. This led to Pietro throwing a spoonful of mashed potatoes at Fred. The potatoes hit Lance instead, who used his powers to shake Pietro's chair apart and caused Quicksilver to fall on his behind.
"Oh Lord give me strength!" Roadblock groaned as a full scale food fight began to break out. Strangely, Bilby didn't seem to be affected.
"Don't worry about it mate," Bilby replied, "As a guest, you just reminded me of my old unit."
Roadblock walked up to the wall and put more dents in it anyway. "Just once, I'd like to go through a meal without a food fight."
"Is this your unique bond?" Cover Girl asked.
"Many times diamonds are found in the rough." Bilby replied.
~ ~ ~ ~
Coming up next, Bilby remembers Akima and makes important realizations about his life and unit's mission.
Disclaimer: Same as before. I don't own the lyrics to Minus Human, Metallica does. Also, this takes place some time after the events of Kingdom Hearts, when Sora and the Heartless became all but myth to humanity. However, the Gamma Unit was created for interdimensional special operations, specifically against the Heartless. Legend tells that the wielder of the Keyblade will return with the King when the time is right.
~ ~ ~ ~
"Welcome to the nuthouse." Low Light muttered and opened the door.
"Wak! Polly want a prozac! Polly want a prozac!" a green parrot came flying past Bilby's face.
"Come back here birdie! We're not gonna hurt you very much this time." One of the Triplets shouted.
"We wanna see if our new flamethrower works properly." Quinn shouted.
"Stay away from them, they just love to experiment with strangers." Low Light said.
"Got it." Bilby shouted. From his years in the Special Forces Bilby knew that appearances were very often deceiving. These three ten year old girls, as harmless as they appeared, sure as hell loaned credit to that theory.
"Little girls playing with flamethrowers, and I thought my dimension was nuts." Bilby groaned to himself.
"That's not the half off it." Low Light replied.
"HELP! Save me!" Pietro screamed.
"Come back here and be clobbered like a man!" shouted a girl with short black hair wearing a red t-shirt and black jeans. The front of her t-shirt was soaking wet, as was her hair.
Bolts of energy shot from her fingers that barely missed the quick running boy. "Get all those dead bugs out of my shampoo right now!" Wanda shouted.
"Hi Low Light! Bye Low Light!" Pietro shouted as he ran away screaming from the angry girl.
"Wanda, calm down! Pietro get back here and meet our guest." Low Light shouted.
"The boy you saw was my brother, Pietro, let's just say he's a little crazy sometimes." Wanda said, "Come back here and fight like a man you sissy weasel!"
"There's a guest room upstairs." Low Light said, "Your gear's in my room, next door."
Bilby walked up the stairs and heard loud music coming out of the room across the hall from the guest room. He looked into the open door way to see a young man with black hair wearing no shirt and a pair of blue jeans. He was dancing around doing the air guitar to the tune of Metallica's I Disappear.
"You like Metallica." Bilby asked.
"Who are you man!?" Avalanche shouted.
"Martin Bilby. I'm a guest at your house." Bilby replied.
"Oh, you're that guy we found on our camping trip." Lance replied.
Bilby noticed an electric guitar leaning against the wall next to an amplifier. "You play?" Bilby asked.
"Yeah. How about you?" Lance asked.
"Yep." Bilby replied, "We used to rock the barracks all the time."
"Cool." Lance said, "I've got an extra guitar in the closet. Wanna jam session?"
"Sure man." Bilby replied, plugging the other guitar into the amp as Lance threw on a black t-shirt.
"NO! NO! NO!" Todd shouted, "Don't try to play music with Lance? You'll destroy the house!"
"Ignore frog boy right here." Lance said, "Ready when you are."
"Hell yeah." Bilby replied.
Both of them revved up their guitars and started to sing, loud but fairly off key. "Don't you leave me, Father Time! Take me with you! Tell me does your sun still shine! Come squeeze the world and drip it down my throat again!"
Althea appeared saying, "Oh God! Two of them! Lance, quit it with the musical numbers!"
"It could be worse. Lance could be singing those love songs he always serenades Kitty with." Todd replied.
"Who's Kitty?" Bilby asked.
"You're gonna die Toad!" Lance said, "Here's why this guitar is called the axe!"
Lance started to chase Toad around with the guitar held over his head. "Kitty is Lance's on again off again girlfriend." Althea replied, "They tease him endlessly about it. Lance has it head over heels for Kitty. Though sometimes I wish Kitty would make up her mind?"
"What do you mean?" Bilby asked.
"You'll find out soon enough." Althea groaned, "Lance will tell you all about it."
"Come back here frog breath! I'll knock you into next week!" Lance's shout could be heard all the way upstairs.
"Aren't you gonna stop them?" Bilby asked.
"Maybe in a bit." Althea replied, "Ah the strain of long distance relationships. You don't seem to be too frazzled by all this."
"My old unit was the same way." Bilby replied. "We had a guy who thought he was as good as any pop rocker, 'Sugar Ray' Murphy. He was your typical wanna be rocker, bleached blonde hair, yellow tint sunglasses, the whole nine yards. He would always be serenading the barracks at the wrong times. Especially when he had one two many pints of scotch he'd think he was Elvis Presley."
"He'd fit right in around here." Althea replied, "About half this base, especially my Dad, could be declared legally insane."
"EEEEEE! EEEEE! EEEE!" came the squawks of two babies crawling across the floor.
"Gotcha!" Bilby shouted and quickly scooped up Barney.
"BAAKK!" Barney shouted and whacked Bilby in the head with his whiffle bat.
"Wanker!" Bilby shouted and Barney jumped into Althea's arms where she was already carrying Claudius.
"I should've warned you about that kid and his whiffle bat." Althea replied.
Bilby didn't reply as he walked downstairs to go grab an ice pack. He didn't get two steps past the staircase when he was hit full in the head with a stream of whipped cream. He ducked behind the couch just as the three triplets, covered in whipped cream, ran away shrieking from the bearded sailor called Shipwreck who was also covered in whipped cream.
Bilby walked upstairs with the ice pack and soaked with whipped cream. "Let me guess, my dad and my insane little sisters were settling disputes in the traditional Delgato manner. Right?" Althea asked.
"Exactly." Bilby replied, "This is almost exactly like my old unit. Especially when "Buckaroo" got into the act."
"Buckaroo?" Althea asked.
"He was another bloke in our squadron who always was the point man, the guy in front, anytime we went on ops. His weapon of choice was a Mossberg 12 gauge shotgun. Any Heartless that ran into him would usually get a BIG surprise whenever he opened fire." Bilby replied, "Anyway, he'd always be blowing shaving cream cans apart with shotgun shells whenever he'd get bored. Then he'd get shaving cream everywhere and that would equal a huge shaving cream fight all over the barracks."
Bilby, despite talking about the memories of his old mates, felt a tinge of pain, the man he had mentioned to Althea, as well as Sugar Ray Murphy were both dead. They were among the seven casualties of the failed mission Foxtrot One Two. There was an eighth casualty on that roster, the soul of one Corporal Martin Bilby. Talking about his pals seemed to bring them back to life, almost as if Sugar Ray and Buckaroo were standing in the room engaging in one of their endless debates which ranged from the best flavor of licorice to the number of licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop. And there was also Akima.
Althea left to put the babies back in their crib as Bilby stood in the hallway lost in his own thoughts. How could he have not been attracted to Akima, so strong yet so vulnerable, so alive with passion for her new homeworld and dedication to her people? He had violated one of the Gamma unit's standard regulations, never fall in love with anyone in a universe you are protecting or attempting to liberate. It had all started when he was training one of her bodyguards, a young Chinese man in his mid twenties named Ling Sui. After Sui had been killed, Bilby replaced him as Akima's bodyguard temporarily. She always insisted she never needed one, but as a way to keep the support of her fellow resistance members, she graciously accepted the offer. Who would have thought that Martin Bilby, the sniper, would let his guard down and fall in love like that?
Sugar Ray and Buckaroo were his buddies through many an op, through thick and thin and through many an insane shaving cream fight. He couldn't help but be reminded of them through Lance and Shipwreck respectively. The Misfits, though they were crazy and demented, were a group that cared about each other through and through. Even Cover Girl, despite her constant clashes with Shipwreck, obviously cared about the crazy sailor in some way. His unit, both his original troop and his new one both served to keep him emotionally afloat as the surrogate family that he had lost many years ago.
The talent of being to read people almost after a few moments of meeting them was honed by years of covert operations to many different dimensions where he had to interact with the inhabitants of various worlds around the multiverse. He knew that at the very heart of the Misfit family was a pure and loving family bond. It was this warmth and love and peace of heart that drew the Heartless like flies to honey. It would drive them to consume the hearts of the denizens of this world, even the hearts of COBRA their own ally. It would ultimately lead them to the very heart of the world of GI Joe and lead to its ultimate destruction, as it had for the Titan AE universe. Bilby lowered his head sadly, there was no way he would allow it to happen, not as long as he, Corporal Martin Bilby, a sniper with 2 Troop, C Squadron was still breathing.
"Dinner time! Wak! Serve the inmates! WAK!" Polly flapped upstairs.
"Alright mate!" Bilby shouted and clomped down the stairs.
Cover Girl joined him at that moment, "So how was your first evening here?"
"Not too bad." Bilby replied, "This actually gives me a feeling of home. It's just like the wing that Charlie Squadron occupies in the barracks. There's so much craziness, and all the comforts of home. You have it good down here."
"Really?" Cover Girl asked.
"You have a unique bond between you all." Bilby replied.
"We're unique alright." Cover Girl replied as they sat down at the table.
"GAKKA WAKKA WAKKA!" Claudius shouted, waving his tiny flippers and flinging a spoonful of applesauce at Bilby.
"This is too much like the squadron." Bilby muttered.
Tearing into their food, one of the Misfits, the fat guy, Fred, spattered Pietro with mashed potatoes. This led to Pietro throwing a spoonful of mashed potatoes at Fred. The potatoes hit Lance instead, who used his powers to shake Pietro's chair apart and caused Quicksilver to fall on his behind.
"Oh Lord give me strength!" Roadblock groaned as a full scale food fight began to break out. Strangely, Bilby didn't seem to be affected.
"Don't worry about it mate," Bilby replied, "As a guest, you just reminded me of my old unit."
Roadblock walked up to the wall and put more dents in it anyway. "Just once, I'd like to go through a meal without a food fight."
"Is this your unique bond?" Cover Girl asked.
"Many times diamonds are found in the rough." Bilby replied.
~ ~ ~ ~
Coming up next, Bilby remembers Akima and makes important realizations about his life and unit's mission.
