"Akima, meet the Misfits."
Disclaimer: Same as before.
~ ~ ~ ~
"Hey, isn't public display of affection something you guys told us we shouldn't do." Jean Grey said.
Bilby, annoyed, broke away from the embrace, "And here are the rare and endangered species of Uptightus Shadesus and Promqueenius Snotticus."
"You've been hanging around Avalanche too long haven't you?" Jean said, offended by the nicknames.
"If the shoe fits....Besides, that's nowhere near as bad as what I head you two did on the dunes of some tropical island before the Misfits were formed." Bilby replied.
"How did you?" Jean replied, turning beet red.
"Parrots, especially drunk, are excellent intelligence sources." Bilby replied cryptically.
"Who are they?" Akima asked.
"They're two of the members of the X-men I told you about." Bilby replied, "They and the Misfits, formerly the Brotherhood, fight almost constantly."
"About what?" Akima asked.
"Like with Leatherneck and Wetsuit, anything." Bilby replied, "And everything."
"Those stupid Misfits start everything." Scott grumbled.
"Excuse me mate, but I think you're group causes just as much trouble with your condescending, nose in the air attitude that you've got going." Bilby replied, "Now if you'll excuse us."
As soon as the pair was out of hearing range Bilby added, "I know I tend to side with the Misfits in these arguments. Even if we Gamma operators are supposed to be professional and not take sides I still tend to think the Misfits, despite their shady backgrounds, are the diamonds in the rough. When the Keyblade returns, I know it's liable to select one of the Misfits as opposed to the X-men."
Going in through the back door, Bilby went in first and ducked so that he wouldn't get whacked in the head by anything. He was right to do so as Barney squawked, "BAAKK!" and swung his tiny whiffle bat. "He loves hitting people with that." Bilby replied.
Akima stared amazed for a moment. Sitting in a high chair strategically placed at the back door was a little baby mutant with downy tufts of feathers and a beak. He wore a little t-shirt that said Barney on it and wore little sweat pants with Thomas the Tank engine slippers. "Say hi to Akima kiddo. And don't hit her with the bat."
"'kima?" Barney said, blinking.
Bilby lifted him out of the chair, "Wherever you are your brother can't be far behind."
"BAGA WAGGA!" came a shout.
Another baby came toddling out of nowhere and nearly knocked Bilby over. "Oh no you don't." Bilby said, scooping up the other baby.
"Here, hold Claudius for a bit." Bilby handed the other kid off to Akima.
Akima took the little baby that had flippers instead of arms and legs, "You know he's actually kind of..."
Claudius suddenly spit up milk on Akima just then, "...cute."
"He does that to everybody, don't take it personally." Said another female voice, "You must be Akima."
The speaker was a teenage girl with black hair that had electric blue streaks in it. Akima handed the toddler over to the girl who said, "I'm Althea Delgato, This little guy is..."
"Claudie..." The baby giggled as Althea wiped his mouth and the front of his little sailor suit off. She handed Akima another towel.
"I am." Akima replied, "Bilby told me a lot about you guys. I even saw some of the other soldiers on the base. Including two guys who really love to argue."
"You mean Leatherneck and Wetsuit." Althea said, rolling her eyes, "Yep this base has characters alright, a few too many if you catch my drift."
"Who's this Sergeant Snuffles I've been hearing about? Are the boys holding Beach Head's girlfriend captive or something?" Akima said.
At this Althea laughed heartily, "If Beach Head was actually able to find a girlfriend I'd be greatly surprised, but that seems like something that they'd actually do. It's almost every Joe's favorite past time, bugging Beach Head."
"So who's Sergeant Snuffles then?" Akima asked.
"He's a teddy bear." Althea replied.
Akima laughed in turn, "Now I've officially seen everything. Mutant babies, kids with super powers, weird soldiers, and now a demented Ranger that sleeps with a teddy bear."
"GIVE ME BACK SERGEANT SNUFFLES!!!"
"He still hasn't finished his tea party with Mr. Stupid and Ms. Pinkfuzzybunnyslippers." Wanda replied in a matter of fact manner from upstairs.
"Aren't you worried he's gonna come in?" Akima asked as the door shuddered again.
"Not really." Althea replied, she then shouted out the door, "He's still got one more crumpet to finish."
"Oh OK." Beach Head replied and stopped crashing into the door.
"What's with those guys and coffee?" Akima asked, indicating Toad, Pietro, and Lance coming downstairs in a Viking getup.
"We are the Viking Sopranos!" they shouted as one, raising half empty coffee cups.
"BA's coffee is absolutely the best. It's the only thing that BA makes that doesn't give us indigestion." Althea replied.
"And then I've heard stories about someone called Trinity..." Akima replied.
"It's actually three someones." Althea replied, "They're my insane sisters that like to experiment on strangers...."
"OWWW! OWW! OUCCCHHHH!!!" came very familiar shouts coming from the Triplet's bedroom.
"Mercy! YEOOWWWWCCHHH!!!"
Althea immediately led the trio racing up the staircase, inside the room Jean Grey and Scott Summers were strapped to two lab tables while Trinity in identical pink lab coats put another charge of voltage through both Scott and Jean. Akima saw that Scott Summers' trousers were down, exposing the red hearts on his boxer shorts.
Akima and Bilby released the prisoners while Althea dealt with her sisters saying loudly, "You guys shouldn't experiment on guests, even if they are the X-men."
When that was done she whispered, "Great job guys, keep up the good work."
"OK." Trinity whispered to Althea, "We won't spy on you and Toad if you let us experiment on the X-men."
"It's a done deal." Althea whispered back.
"Akima, welcome to the Misfit house." Bilby said, as he did he was scanning the air constantly for something.
Suddenly a green parrot flapped erratically through the air squawking, "Welcome to the Hotel California. (hic) Such a lovely place (hic) Such a lovely face (hic)..."
"What's the matter with him?" Akima asked.
"Severely alcoholic." Bilby whisperred.
"Awk! I heard that Aussie! Awk!" Polly replied, it's breath stinking of tequila.
"Boy is Shipwreck gonna be mad when he finds out you got into that bottle of rare tequila he shipped over from Mexico." Bilby replied.
"Awk! He has a dozen bottles more where that came from, he won't miss it! Awk!" Polly said, "How do you think Polly became a drunk, living in this household. Awk! Space lady steer clear! Awk!"
"Akima, don't mind him. He's just a parrot with a few missing brain cells." Bilby replied.
"A few?" Akima asked, quizzically, "I'd say he's missing half of his brain."
"Awk! I'm still smarter than my owner! Awk!" Polly replied.
"I heard that Feather Head!" Shipwreck shouted and came running up the staircase with an armload of fruits and vegetables that he started slinging at the parrot.
"Awk! You have lousy aim swabbie! Awk!" Polly teased.
"Warm up the over, there's gonna be Parrot Under Glass on the menu!" Shipwreck shouted.
Shipwreck lobbed a mushy tomato at Polly but it missed and flew into Cover Girl's room, nailing her squarely in the forehead. "Shipwreck." She hissed between clenched teeth.
"Uh oh! By the way Cover Girl, I think that blush looks very fetching." Shipwreck replied. "Dad. You could have tried I'm sorry instead." Althea said, poking her head into the hallway.
"My brain froze up." Shipwreck protested.
"Your brain must be stuck in Antarctica then, because it always freezes up." Althea replied.
"Yipe!" Shipwreck shouted as Cover Girl came running out of the room with an armload of vegetables and started pelting Shipwreck with them.
Suddenly feathers started to fly out of Shipwreck's room and Akima, Bilby, Althea and all the others crowded the door to see Shipwreck and Cover Girl whacking each other with pillows.
"Even the adults in this house are insane." Akima remarked, "I think somebody deserves a medal for putting up with all this insanity."
"Not when he's taken a part in it!" Trinity protested.
"Hey! I only supplied you with all those vegetables you needed to attack the X-men. It's called building rapport with indigenous forces." Bilby replied.
"You threw a tomato at Peter." Trinity protested.
"That's because Metal Muscles threw a rather sizeable pumpkin at my head." Bilby replied, "I was operating within the rules of engagement, no one fires until fired upon."
"You're starting to sound like Avalanche right now." Trinity replied.
"I heard that Trinity!" Avalanche snapped.
"Kitty, pretty please come back to me!" they sang.
"That's it! Die!" Lance shouted.
"Oh no!" Bilby groaned and shoved Akima into the nearest room and shut the door when the barrage of whipped cream came flying his way. Bilby retreated and then returned with a few tomatoes which he started pelting the Trinity with.
Akima, her ear to the door, could hear the sounds of fighting just outside. "You'll get used to it eventually." Cover Girl said, from inside the room.
"I didn't realize that the army in this dimension was that psychotic." Akima replied.
"Let's just say this isn't your average Army base and leave it at that." Cover Girl replied, "Now if you'll excuse me..."
"Girls stop this food fighting right this instant!!!!" Cover Girl shouted out the door only to be clobbered by a chocolate cream pie thrown by Trinity, "That's it, you three have KP for an entire month!!!"
"Food fights, drunk parrots, crazy triplets and earthquakes. What exactly have I gotten myself into?" Akima wondered aloud.
~ ~ ~ ~
What exactly is going to happen next? Will Akima get used to the Misfit household? With the household overcrowded, which of the girls (X-men, Misfit or adult) will she room with (I am open to suggestion)?
Scott: SR, why do you insist on torturing us with Trinity.
SR: Face it Scott, you and your X-men have been haughty and mean to the Misfits and held your noses airborne for so long. Basically I'm saying you deserve it.
Jean: Well I don't want to room with some space jockey from another dimension.
Bilby: Hey Jean, babysitting time (Puts Barney in her arms)!
Barney: BAK!!! (Bonks Jean repeatedly with baseball bat)
SR: Jean, when will you ever learn not to insult the girlfriends of other people.
Rogue: Better than Jean stealing them all the time...
Jean: Hey! OWW!!
Disclaimer: Same as before.
~ ~ ~ ~
"Hey, isn't public display of affection something you guys told us we shouldn't do." Jean Grey said.
Bilby, annoyed, broke away from the embrace, "And here are the rare and endangered species of Uptightus Shadesus and Promqueenius Snotticus."
"You've been hanging around Avalanche too long haven't you?" Jean said, offended by the nicknames.
"If the shoe fits....Besides, that's nowhere near as bad as what I head you two did on the dunes of some tropical island before the Misfits were formed." Bilby replied.
"How did you?" Jean replied, turning beet red.
"Parrots, especially drunk, are excellent intelligence sources." Bilby replied cryptically.
"Who are they?" Akima asked.
"They're two of the members of the X-men I told you about." Bilby replied, "They and the Misfits, formerly the Brotherhood, fight almost constantly."
"About what?" Akima asked.
"Like with Leatherneck and Wetsuit, anything." Bilby replied, "And everything."
"Those stupid Misfits start everything." Scott grumbled.
"Excuse me mate, but I think you're group causes just as much trouble with your condescending, nose in the air attitude that you've got going." Bilby replied, "Now if you'll excuse us."
As soon as the pair was out of hearing range Bilby added, "I know I tend to side with the Misfits in these arguments. Even if we Gamma operators are supposed to be professional and not take sides I still tend to think the Misfits, despite their shady backgrounds, are the diamonds in the rough. When the Keyblade returns, I know it's liable to select one of the Misfits as opposed to the X-men."
Going in through the back door, Bilby went in first and ducked so that he wouldn't get whacked in the head by anything. He was right to do so as Barney squawked, "BAAKK!" and swung his tiny whiffle bat. "He loves hitting people with that." Bilby replied.
Akima stared amazed for a moment. Sitting in a high chair strategically placed at the back door was a little baby mutant with downy tufts of feathers and a beak. He wore a little t-shirt that said Barney on it and wore little sweat pants with Thomas the Tank engine slippers. "Say hi to Akima kiddo. And don't hit her with the bat."
"'kima?" Barney said, blinking.
Bilby lifted him out of the chair, "Wherever you are your brother can't be far behind."
"BAGA WAGGA!" came a shout.
Another baby came toddling out of nowhere and nearly knocked Bilby over. "Oh no you don't." Bilby said, scooping up the other baby.
"Here, hold Claudius for a bit." Bilby handed the other kid off to Akima.
Akima took the little baby that had flippers instead of arms and legs, "You know he's actually kind of..."
Claudius suddenly spit up milk on Akima just then, "...cute."
"He does that to everybody, don't take it personally." Said another female voice, "You must be Akima."
The speaker was a teenage girl with black hair that had electric blue streaks in it. Akima handed the toddler over to the girl who said, "I'm Althea Delgato, This little guy is..."
"Claudie..." The baby giggled as Althea wiped his mouth and the front of his little sailor suit off. She handed Akima another towel.
"I am." Akima replied, "Bilby told me a lot about you guys. I even saw some of the other soldiers on the base. Including two guys who really love to argue."
"You mean Leatherneck and Wetsuit." Althea said, rolling her eyes, "Yep this base has characters alright, a few too many if you catch my drift."
"Who's this Sergeant Snuffles I've been hearing about? Are the boys holding Beach Head's girlfriend captive or something?" Akima said.
At this Althea laughed heartily, "If Beach Head was actually able to find a girlfriend I'd be greatly surprised, but that seems like something that they'd actually do. It's almost every Joe's favorite past time, bugging Beach Head."
"So who's Sergeant Snuffles then?" Akima asked.
"He's a teddy bear." Althea replied.
Akima laughed in turn, "Now I've officially seen everything. Mutant babies, kids with super powers, weird soldiers, and now a demented Ranger that sleeps with a teddy bear."
"GIVE ME BACK SERGEANT SNUFFLES!!!"
"He still hasn't finished his tea party with Mr. Stupid and Ms. Pinkfuzzybunnyslippers." Wanda replied in a matter of fact manner from upstairs.
"Aren't you worried he's gonna come in?" Akima asked as the door shuddered again.
"Not really." Althea replied, she then shouted out the door, "He's still got one more crumpet to finish."
"Oh OK." Beach Head replied and stopped crashing into the door.
"What's with those guys and coffee?" Akima asked, indicating Toad, Pietro, and Lance coming downstairs in a Viking getup.
"We are the Viking Sopranos!" they shouted as one, raising half empty coffee cups.
"BA's coffee is absolutely the best. It's the only thing that BA makes that doesn't give us indigestion." Althea replied.
"And then I've heard stories about someone called Trinity..." Akima replied.
"It's actually three someones." Althea replied, "They're my insane sisters that like to experiment on strangers...."
"OWWW! OWW! OUCCCHHHH!!!" came very familiar shouts coming from the Triplet's bedroom.
"Mercy! YEOOWWWWCCHHH!!!"
Althea immediately led the trio racing up the staircase, inside the room Jean Grey and Scott Summers were strapped to two lab tables while Trinity in identical pink lab coats put another charge of voltage through both Scott and Jean. Akima saw that Scott Summers' trousers were down, exposing the red hearts on his boxer shorts.
Akima and Bilby released the prisoners while Althea dealt with her sisters saying loudly, "You guys shouldn't experiment on guests, even if they are the X-men."
When that was done she whispered, "Great job guys, keep up the good work."
"OK." Trinity whispered to Althea, "We won't spy on you and Toad if you let us experiment on the X-men."
"It's a done deal." Althea whispered back.
"Akima, welcome to the Misfit house." Bilby said, as he did he was scanning the air constantly for something.
Suddenly a green parrot flapped erratically through the air squawking, "Welcome to the Hotel California. (hic) Such a lovely place (hic) Such a lovely face (hic)..."
"What's the matter with him?" Akima asked.
"Severely alcoholic." Bilby whisperred.
"Awk! I heard that Aussie! Awk!" Polly replied, it's breath stinking of tequila.
"Boy is Shipwreck gonna be mad when he finds out you got into that bottle of rare tequila he shipped over from Mexico." Bilby replied.
"Awk! He has a dozen bottles more where that came from, he won't miss it! Awk!" Polly said, "How do you think Polly became a drunk, living in this household. Awk! Space lady steer clear! Awk!"
"Akima, don't mind him. He's just a parrot with a few missing brain cells." Bilby replied.
"A few?" Akima asked, quizzically, "I'd say he's missing half of his brain."
"Awk! I'm still smarter than my owner! Awk!" Polly replied.
"I heard that Feather Head!" Shipwreck shouted and came running up the staircase with an armload of fruits and vegetables that he started slinging at the parrot.
"Awk! You have lousy aim swabbie! Awk!" Polly teased.
"Warm up the over, there's gonna be Parrot Under Glass on the menu!" Shipwreck shouted.
Shipwreck lobbed a mushy tomato at Polly but it missed and flew into Cover Girl's room, nailing her squarely in the forehead. "Shipwreck." She hissed between clenched teeth.
"Uh oh! By the way Cover Girl, I think that blush looks very fetching." Shipwreck replied. "Dad. You could have tried I'm sorry instead." Althea said, poking her head into the hallway.
"My brain froze up." Shipwreck protested.
"Your brain must be stuck in Antarctica then, because it always freezes up." Althea replied.
"Yipe!" Shipwreck shouted as Cover Girl came running out of the room with an armload of vegetables and started pelting Shipwreck with them.
Suddenly feathers started to fly out of Shipwreck's room and Akima, Bilby, Althea and all the others crowded the door to see Shipwreck and Cover Girl whacking each other with pillows.
"Even the adults in this house are insane." Akima remarked, "I think somebody deserves a medal for putting up with all this insanity."
"Not when he's taken a part in it!" Trinity protested.
"Hey! I only supplied you with all those vegetables you needed to attack the X-men. It's called building rapport with indigenous forces." Bilby replied.
"You threw a tomato at Peter." Trinity protested.
"That's because Metal Muscles threw a rather sizeable pumpkin at my head." Bilby replied, "I was operating within the rules of engagement, no one fires until fired upon."
"You're starting to sound like Avalanche right now." Trinity replied.
"I heard that Trinity!" Avalanche snapped.
"Kitty, pretty please come back to me!" they sang.
"That's it! Die!" Lance shouted.
"Oh no!" Bilby groaned and shoved Akima into the nearest room and shut the door when the barrage of whipped cream came flying his way. Bilby retreated and then returned with a few tomatoes which he started pelting the Trinity with.
Akima, her ear to the door, could hear the sounds of fighting just outside. "You'll get used to it eventually." Cover Girl said, from inside the room.
"I didn't realize that the army in this dimension was that psychotic." Akima replied.
"Let's just say this isn't your average Army base and leave it at that." Cover Girl replied, "Now if you'll excuse me..."
"Girls stop this food fighting right this instant!!!!" Cover Girl shouted out the door only to be clobbered by a chocolate cream pie thrown by Trinity, "That's it, you three have KP for an entire month!!!"
"Food fights, drunk parrots, crazy triplets and earthquakes. What exactly have I gotten myself into?" Akima wondered aloud.
~ ~ ~ ~
What exactly is going to happen next? Will Akima get used to the Misfit household? With the household overcrowded, which of the girls (X-men, Misfit or adult) will she room with (I am open to suggestion)?
Scott: SR, why do you insist on torturing us with Trinity.
SR: Face it Scott, you and your X-men have been haughty and mean to the Misfits and held your noses airborne for so long. Basically I'm saying you deserve it.
Jean: Well I don't want to room with some space jockey from another dimension.
Bilby: Hey Jean, babysitting time (Puts Barney in her arms)!
Barney: BAK!!! (Bonks Jean repeatedly with baseball bat)
SR: Jean, when will you ever learn not to insult the girlfriends of other people.
Rogue: Better than Jean stealing them all the time...
Jean: Hey! OWW!!
