The Lord of the Plastic Rings
Ok this is my first ever fan fiction, and I hope you like it! Please leave a review as I need constructive criticism!
The characters don't belong to me, but J.R.R Tolkien. Wish they did though, but hey, nothing I can do about that. Just so you know…
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Prologue. Ring is made. Sauron is bad. Lots of smiting. Ring is lost. Ring is found. Now on to the story.
The scene opens on a little fuzzy creature sitting under a tree reading 'A Hobbit's Guide to Mushrooms'. Suddenly he hears laughter floating on the air. Frodo runs to investigate. He finds a group of hobbits pointing and laughing at an old man in an absurdly shaped hat.
"Gandalf!" cries Frodo as he shoves his way through the hysterical crowd- half laughing, half crying as they hold their sides, trying to stop them splitting and letting all their intestines fall out. Then he spots the hat. "Hat! That hat! Oh Elbereth! Where in middle Earth did you find that hat?!?!" says Frodo, gasping for breath.
" From a fine retailer in Gondor actually. He said it suited me. Saruman laughed at it too but I know he's just jealous. His hat is far less pointy than mine. Now, have you quite finished laughing at my new, top of the range pointy hat?" says the old wizard sternly.
"Not quite!" replies Frodo and continues rolling on the floor screaming with laughter. Then he flings himself at Gandalf and cries "It's wonderful to see you again Gandalf!"
"Put it back."
"What?"
"I'm warning you Frodo. Put it back."
"Aw.."
Frodo returned Gandalf's pipe weed to his pocket, stealing a bag of toffees in the process. Gandalf pushed the hobbit out of the cart and rode away, with Frodo desperately clinging to the wheel. Finally he was thrown off and stormed away into the forest to plot revenge.
A while later- after scaring a few nosy little hobbits away from his cart with conveniently placed explosives- Gandalf arrives at the residence of a Mr Bilbo Baggins at Bag End. He knocks on the door hard. A cry from within says " Go Away! I'm busy!"
" What? Even for an for an old friend?" Replied Gandalf.
" If you mean yourself Gandalf then yes! You're no friend of mine! You suck me out in the wilds with a pack of drunken dwarves for a year! Anyway I bet you're just here for the treasure that I keep in the…."
"Yes?" says Gandalf eagerly.
"I'm not telling you! Now go away!"
Gandalf knocks the door down. "I'd like a cup of tea please Bilbo." says Gandalf.
"Well you're not getting one!" shouts Bilbo, enraged.
Suddenly Gandalf turns into a big scary wizard with dark clouds surrounding his head, giving out thunder bolts that smash all of Bilbo's finest china. "I SAID I'D LIKE A CUP OF TEA PLEASE BILBO!"
Bilbo scurries away to make Gandalf tea and see if he has any of the arsenic left over from his nice little tea party with the Sackville-Bagginses last week.
