X-pected Frustrations
Disclaimer: Same as before.
~ ~ ~ ~
"How are you feeling sleepy head?" Cover Girl asked Bilby, when he finally woke up.
"Like a bloody tank rolled over me." Bilby replied, clutching his head.
"I told you maybe Imperial Scotch wasn't your brew." Cover Girl replied.
"How's Shipwreck?" Bilby asked.
"I put him to bed last night at little after midnight." Cover Girl sighed, "No, nothing like that. I just meant he was extremely intoxicated. Typical Shipwreck."
"Things are certainly going to be very different around here." Bilby replied.
"Funny, if it hadn't been for Akima I wouldn't have...." Cover Girl stopped short when she saw Bilby's downcast eyes, "It still hurts, doesn't it? I'm sorry Martin, but pain like that isn't going to go away overnight."
"I know." Bilby said, "The damndest thing is I know. I've lived with this sort of agony since the Heartless destroyed my hometown of Sapphire Bay."
"Time heals all wounds." Cover Girl replied.
"I know that." Bilby replied.
"Barney! No! Don't eat those worms!" Cover Girl shouted, when she saw Barney digging with his beak in a mud puddle on Shipwreck's back yard.
"Bagga?" Barney said.
"Ouch! Remind me to kill Shipwreck for giving his kid a whiffle bat." Cover Girl replied.
"Already having domestic disputes. You're not even married yet." Bilby replied, amused.
"That's it Aussie, no Aspirin for you." Cover Girl replied.
"How cruel." Bilby replied, "I see Shipwreck's alcohol consumption is going to drop sharply in this relationship..."
"Don't even get me started there." Cover Girl replied, depositing the babies in their playpen.
~ ~ ~ ~
The X-men were clustered around the large dining room table picking at their food while the Misfits were enthusiastically devouring their meal. "Hi Cover Girl, what's with all the aspirin?" Wanda asked.
"Oh that's for our Gamma guests deciding to get trashed last night." Cover Girl said.
"Hey!" Bilby shouted from the back porch, "You can only punish me over that stupid comment, that's no reason to punish the entire eight of us! I am totally not responsible for those eight bourbon chasers Morgan drank."
"He's not responsible half that tequila bottle that Stoney put down his neck, or those three rum and cokes with the little paper umbrellas that Sergeant Rumpler put down, or those fourteen screwdrivers that Link put down...." Pietro said.
"Are you keeping track of this Pietro?" Wanda asked.
"You should know, you was serving them..." Xi replied to Pietro.
"XI!!!" Pietro shouted.
"Thank you Xi. Pietro, that means you have KP for an entire week. Same to you Xi for snitching on your friend." Cover Girl replied.
"Nyah!" Pietro said, sticking out his tongue.
"Why am I being punished? Pietro served all those drinks." Xi replied.
"Maybe it's because you were being a tattle tale." Rogue replied.
"Hey Skunk Headed half sister, no one reprimands Xi but us!" Wanda replied.
"You're one to talk you....you Blair Witch wannabe." Rogue shot back.
"Look who's talking Count Dracula's Ex-Wife!" Wanda replied.
Cover Girl rolled her eyes saying, "I can see the hangovers in this household are gonna be real bad when those guys wake up."
"That's about the usual fare for those guys on a lot of Saturday nights." Fetterman remarked, walking down the staircase in a pair of jogging pants and a faded gray Army t-shirt. "Thanks for the warning." Cover Girl replied, "I still remember when they tried to match drinks with Shipwreck last week. I never thought that a little guy like Morgan could throw up that much."
"Well that's what you get when you try to match drinks with an alcoholic like Shipwreck." Ororo remarked, walking back inside from a brief jog out around the base.
"Hey!" Cover Girl snapped, "No one insults my boyfriend except me!"
"Boyfriend?" Ororo blinked, "Shipwreck?"
"Yes. Since last night." Cover Girl replied, "Why, are you jealous?"
"Sir," Roadblock said to Fetterman, "It's best you get out of the way. Because blood looks about to spray."
"Wise choice." Fetterman replied.
"Jealous? You can HAVE him." Ororo replied.
Cover Girl fumed, "He does deserve a lot better treatment than you've ever given him!"
"You're one to talk!" Ororo replied, "You hadn't exactly been brushing Shipwreck off very gently yourself."
"At least I didn't electrify him at every chance!" Cover Girl snapped back.
"What about the times you wailed on him?" Ororo replied, "And if you had my powers you'd do the same to that scumbag."
"Watch your tongue Ororo." Cover Girl warned.
Just then the most bizarre sight imaginable made itself known. Stoney and Morgan came running downstairs with towels tied around their necks. Morgan wore a cheap Mardi Gras mask on his face where Stoney wore a pair of polarized sunglasses and his trademark and loud tie dyed headband. "Ta na na na na na na Batman!!!!!!" they shouted as they slid down the banisters, reeking of tequila.
"Holy Cinco de Mayo Batman, the African Weather Witch is about to fry the Runway Model!" Morgan shouted.
"Don't worry Robin, we shall save her!" Stoney replied.
"Ta na na na na na na! Ta na na na na na na! Batman!!!!" They shouted and started punching their way through a swath of imaginary enemies.
"What on Earth?" Cover Girl said, forgetting her anger and laughing, "Oh no, you guys must've taken home a bottle or two of tequila."
"Some people just can't hold their alcohol." Blob remarked.
"Who do you think you are?" Ororo asked.
"Ta na na na na na na na na! Batman!!!!" Stoney shouted, jumping up and down and flapping his cape up and down.
"This is one of their more amusing skits." Fetterman remarked, "They usually don't cause THAT much trouble, but it's entertaining to watch who they'll become when they've had a few too many drinks."
"Holy African Temptresses Batman, the Weather Witch appears to be getting angry." Morgan remarked.
"You're damn right, the 'Weather Witch' is angry at the two of you acting like clowns." Ororo snapped.
"Holy Flowing Estrogen Batman, what shall we do?" Morgan replied.
"Don't make any sudden movements Robin! The angry Weather Goddess is known to charge at random." Stoney replied.
"Fascinating." Gune said, running down the stairs, "These two appear to be intoxicated. Ha ha."
Cover Girl, Roadblock, and Fetterman regarded the strange little green alien for a moment. "Brilliant Einstein." Roadblock said, "What was the first sign?"
"Holy Martian Marshmallows Batman, it's an alien!" Morgan said.
"It seems friendly, though fairly eccentric Robin. Let us return to the task at hand!" Stoney replied.
"Bilby!" Roadblock shouted.
"Oh no mate! You're not pinning THIS on me! Like I said, there's no way I could know they'd consume this much alcohol!" Bilby replied.
The Misfits all crowded around the catfight about to occur, as did the younger X-men. Multiple jumped up and down. "C'mon guys! Let me watch this! C'mon I'm two feet shorter than everyone else!"
"Holy Saharan Dustbunnies Batman, she's becoming very angry!" Morgan remarked.
"Zounds!" Stoney shouted when he and Morgan were hit by lightning, "She is hitting us with her vile electrical discharges! She must be one of the Joker's henchmen!"
"Holy Electrical Storms Batman! We must stop the nefarious fiend's evil hench woman before she fries all the hostages!" Morgan shouted.
"Agreed Robin! CHARGE!" Stoney shouted.
While the three were busy fighting Ororo Polly flapped downstairs, "Awk! Stop in the name of love! Hic! Before you break my heart! Hic!"
"Well, some things about this house never change!" Cover Girl remarked when she noticed what was in Polly's beak.
"Give that back!" she shouted and Polly dropped it onto Scott Summers' head. He immediately found himself knocked down by an angry Cover Girl.
Cover Girl picked up the bra and said, "Oops, this isn't mine. Sorry Scott,"
Scott replied in a funny voice, "Wait for me Batman! I'll help you stop the evil African Weather Witch!"
"I believe this is yours." Cover Girl said and handed the bra to Jean, who turned red with embarrassment.
"I can't believe that the Keyblade chose one of those maniacs to wield it." Jean replied.
"Yeah. How are they more pure of heart than us." Rogue replied.
"Especially that the blade chose LANCE as its wielder." Peter replied, "How is he so pure of heart!"
"Yeah, he isn't Mr. Squeaky Clean himself." Scott added, the effect of getting punched out had worn off, somewhat.
"Yeah, I can't believe the fate of worlds rests in the hands of a hoodlum like Lance." Rogue added.
"Guys, he's so much more than that." Kitty added, but in all the volley of criticism no one heard her.
"I don't see what that blade saw in Alvers to chose him as its master. I think Alvers will choke under the pressure." Scott replied.
"WILL YOU IDIOTS STOP BEING SO DAMN JUDGEMENTAL!" Kitty shouted, in an uncharacteristic fury, "Listen to you guys, always quick to blame him for everything that went wrong. Even when he tried to join us, you guys just pushed him away! No wonder the Misfits don't like us! I'm not going to sit here while you guys go attack him behind his back! At least say all this SHIT to his face!"
Kitty was on the verge of tears when she stormed out of the house, but not before punching Scott solidly in the jaw. She was so distraught that she didn't hear Xavier, Hank, and Logan talking, at least not at first.
"Perhaps we were wrong to discourage Lance's joining the X-men when he came to us." Xavier said.
"Face it Charles, we're not exactly the place he wants to be at right now. After he was blamed for everything that happened the last time. If it wasn't for half-pint he wouldn't go anywhere near us except to bug us." Logan replied.
"Alvers already bugs us Logan." Hank replied.
"Perhaps if we nurture Kitty's relationship with Lance we can recruit him into our ranks." Xavier said. He then heard a pair of footsteps running away.
"Kitty, wait!" Xavier shouted.
"Let her cool down for a bit Charles. We've got our hands full." Logan said, jerking his thumb towards Stoney and Morgan, running around the yard with Ororo tied up and gagged.
"Commissioner Gordon." Stoney shouted, throwing Ororo at Xavier's feet, "We have captured the evil African Weather Witch!"
"We must be off Commissioner!" Morgan shouted.
"The Batmobile's ready Robin, let's go!" Stoney shouted.
As Hank untied Ororo Morgan said, "Holy Gorilla Manure Batman, the Commissioner is in league with the Weather Witch!"
"Let's get them!" Stoney shouted, "Ta na na na na na na na na na na na Batman!!!!!"
"Blimey." Bilby complained from a lawn chair, "Can't a man have a hangover in peace around here!?"
~ ~ ~ ~
L1701E, I promise I'll put Paul and Craig in shortly. All of you, thanks for your support, I really appreciate it. I'll get back into the plot in a short order, with the conspiracy beginning in Los Angeles.
Disclaimer: Same as before.
~ ~ ~ ~
"How are you feeling sleepy head?" Cover Girl asked Bilby, when he finally woke up.
"Like a bloody tank rolled over me." Bilby replied, clutching his head.
"I told you maybe Imperial Scotch wasn't your brew." Cover Girl replied.
"How's Shipwreck?" Bilby asked.
"I put him to bed last night at little after midnight." Cover Girl sighed, "No, nothing like that. I just meant he was extremely intoxicated. Typical Shipwreck."
"Things are certainly going to be very different around here." Bilby replied.
"Funny, if it hadn't been for Akima I wouldn't have...." Cover Girl stopped short when she saw Bilby's downcast eyes, "It still hurts, doesn't it? I'm sorry Martin, but pain like that isn't going to go away overnight."
"I know." Bilby said, "The damndest thing is I know. I've lived with this sort of agony since the Heartless destroyed my hometown of Sapphire Bay."
"Time heals all wounds." Cover Girl replied.
"I know that." Bilby replied.
"Barney! No! Don't eat those worms!" Cover Girl shouted, when she saw Barney digging with his beak in a mud puddle on Shipwreck's back yard.
"Bagga?" Barney said.
"Ouch! Remind me to kill Shipwreck for giving his kid a whiffle bat." Cover Girl replied.
"Already having domestic disputes. You're not even married yet." Bilby replied, amused.
"That's it Aussie, no Aspirin for you." Cover Girl replied.
"How cruel." Bilby replied, "I see Shipwreck's alcohol consumption is going to drop sharply in this relationship..."
"Don't even get me started there." Cover Girl replied, depositing the babies in their playpen.
~ ~ ~ ~
The X-men were clustered around the large dining room table picking at their food while the Misfits were enthusiastically devouring their meal. "Hi Cover Girl, what's with all the aspirin?" Wanda asked.
"Oh that's for our Gamma guests deciding to get trashed last night." Cover Girl said.
"Hey!" Bilby shouted from the back porch, "You can only punish me over that stupid comment, that's no reason to punish the entire eight of us! I am totally not responsible for those eight bourbon chasers Morgan drank."
"He's not responsible half that tequila bottle that Stoney put down his neck, or those three rum and cokes with the little paper umbrellas that Sergeant Rumpler put down, or those fourteen screwdrivers that Link put down...." Pietro said.
"Are you keeping track of this Pietro?" Wanda asked.
"You should know, you was serving them..." Xi replied to Pietro.
"XI!!!" Pietro shouted.
"Thank you Xi. Pietro, that means you have KP for an entire week. Same to you Xi for snitching on your friend." Cover Girl replied.
"Nyah!" Pietro said, sticking out his tongue.
"Why am I being punished? Pietro served all those drinks." Xi replied.
"Maybe it's because you were being a tattle tale." Rogue replied.
"Hey Skunk Headed half sister, no one reprimands Xi but us!" Wanda replied.
"You're one to talk you....you Blair Witch wannabe." Rogue shot back.
"Look who's talking Count Dracula's Ex-Wife!" Wanda replied.
Cover Girl rolled her eyes saying, "I can see the hangovers in this household are gonna be real bad when those guys wake up."
"That's about the usual fare for those guys on a lot of Saturday nights." Fetterman remarked, walking down the staircase in a pair of jogging pants and a faded gray Army t-shirt. "Thanks for the warning." Cover Girl replied, "I still remember when they tried to match drinks with Shipwreck last week. I never thought that a little guy like Morgan could throw up that much."
"Well that's what you get when you try to match drinks with an alcoholic like Shipwreck." Ororo remarked, walking back inside from a brief jog out around the base.
"Hey!" Cover Girl snapped, "No one insults my boyfriend except me!"
"Boyfriend?" Ororo blinked, "Shipwreck?"
"Yes. Since last night." Cover Girl replied, "Why, are you jealous?"
"Sir," Roadblock said to Fetterman, "It's best you get out of the way. Because blood looks about to spray."
"Wise choice." Fetterman replied.
"Jealous? You can HAVE him." Ororo replied.
Cover Girl fumed, "He does deserve a lot better treatment than you've ever given him!"
"You're one to talk!" Ororo replied, "You hadn't exactly been brushing Shipwreck off very gently yourself."
"At least I didn't electrify him at every chance!" Cover Girl snapped back.
"What about the times you wailed on him?" Ororo replied, "And if you had my powers you'd do the same to that scumbag."
"Watch your tongue Ororo." Cover Girl warned.
Just then the most bizarre sight imaginable made itself known. Stoney and Morgan came running downstairs with towels tied around their necks. Morgan wore a cheap Mardi Gras mask on his face where Stoney wore a pair of polarized sunglasses and his trademark and loud tie dyed headband. "Ta na na na na na na Batman!!!!!!" they shouted as they slid down the banisters, reeking of tequila.
"Holy Cinco de Mayo Batman, the African Weather Witch is about to fry the Runway Model!" Morgan shouted.
"Don't worry Robin, we shall save her!" Stoney replied.
"Ta na na na na na na! Ta na na na na na na! Batman!!!!" They shouted and started punching their way through a swath of imaginary enemies.
"What on Earth?" Cover Girl said, forgetting her anger and laughing, "Oh no, you guys must've taken home a bottle or two of tequila."
"Some people just can't hold their alcohol." Blob remarked.
"Who do you think you are?" Ororo asked.
"Ta na na na na na na na na! Batman!!!!" Stoney shouted, jumping up and down and flapping his cape up and down.
"This is one of their more amusing skits." Fetterman remarked, "They usually don't cause THAT much trouble, but it's entertaining to watch who they'll become when they've had a few too many drinks."
"Holy African Temptresses Batman, the Weather Witch appears to be getting angry." Morgan remarked.
"You're damn right, the 'Weather Witch' is angry at the two of you acting like clowns." Ororo snapped.
"Holy Flowing Estrogen Batman, what shall we do?" Morgan replied.
"Don't make any sudden movements Robin! The angry Weather Goddess is known to charge at random." Stoney replied.
"Fascinating." Gune said, running down the stairs, "These two appear to be intoxicated. Ha ha."
Cover Girl, Roadblock, and Fetterman regarded the strange little green alien for a moment. "Brilliant Einstein." Roadblock said, "What was the first sign?"
"Holy Martian Marshmallows Batman, it's an alien!" Morgan said.
"It seems friendly, though fairly eccentric Robin. Let us return to the task at hand!" Stoney replied.
"Bilby!" Roadblock shouted.
"Oh no mate! You're not pinning THIS on me! Like I said, there's no way I could know they'd consume this much alcohol!" Bilby replied.
The Misfits all crowded around the catfight about to occur, as did the younger X-men. Multiple jumped up and down. "C'mon guys! Let me watch this! C'mon I'm two feet shorter than everyone else!"
"Holy Saharan Dustbunnies Batman, she's becoming very angry!" Morgan remarked.
"Zounds!" Stoney shouted when he and Morgan were hit by lightning, "She is hitting us with her vile electrical discharges! She must be one of the Joker's henchmen!"
"Holy Electrical Storms Batman! We must stop the nefarious fiend's evil hench woman before she fries all the hostages!" Morgan shouted.
"Agreed Robin! CHARGE!" Stoney shouted.
While the three were busy fighting Ororo Polly flapped downstairs, "Awk! Stop in the name of love! Hic! Before you break my heart! Hic!"
"Well, some things about this house never change!" Cover Girl remarked when she noticed what was in Polly's beak.
"Give that back!" she shouted and Polly dropped it onto Scott Summers' head. He immediately found himself knocked down by an angry Cover Girl.
Cover Girl picked up the bra and said, "Oops, this isn't mine. Sorry Scott,"
Scott replied in a funny voice, "Wait for me Batman! I'll help you stop the evil African Weather Witch!"
"I believe this is yours." Cover Girl said and handed the bra to Jean, who turned red with embarrassment.
"I can't believe that the Keyblade chose one of those maniacs to wield it." Jean replied.
"Yeah. How are they more pure of heart than us." Rogue replied.
"Especially that the blade chose LANCE as its wielder." Peter replied, "How is he so pure of heart!"
"Yeah, he isn't Mr. Squeaky Clean himself." Scott added, the effect of getting punched out had worn off, somewhat.
"Yeah, I can't believe the fate of worlds rests in the hands of a hoodlum like Lance." Rogue added.
"Guys, he's so much more than that." Kitty added, but in all the volley of criticism no one heard her.
"I don't see what that blade saw in Alvers to chose him as its master. I think Alvers will choke under the pressure." Scott replied.
"WILL YOU IDIOTS STOP BEING SO DAMN JUDGEMENTAL!" Kitty shouted, in an uncharacteristic fury, "Listen to you guys, always quick to blame him for everything that went wrong. Even when he tried to join us, you guys just pushed him away! No wonder the Misfits don't like us! I'm not going to sit here while you guys go attack him behind his back! At least say all this SHIT to his face!"
Kitty was on the verge of tears when she stormed out of the house, but not before punching Scott solidly in the jaw. She was so distraught that she didn't hear Xavier, Hank, and Logan talking, at least not at first.
"Perhaps we were wrong to discourage Lance's joining the X-men when he came to us." Xavier said.
"Face it Charles, we're not exactly the place he wants to be at right now. After he was blamed for everything that happened the last time. If it wasn't for half-pint he wouldn't go anywhere near us except to bug us." Logan replied.
"Alvers already bugs us Logan." Hank replied.
"Perhaps if we nurture Kitty's relationship with Lance we can recruit him into our ranks." Xavier said. He then heard a pair of footsteps running away.
"Kitty, wait!" Xavier shouted.
"Let her cool down for a bit Charles. We've got our hands full." Logan said, jerking his thumb towards Stoney and Morgan, running around the yard with Ororo tied up and gagged.
"Commissioner Gordon." Stoney shouted, throwing Ororo at Xavier's feet, "We have captured the evil African Weather Witch!"
"We must be off Commissioner!" Morgan shouted.
"The Batmobile's ready Robin, let's go!" Stoney shouted.
As Hank untied Ororo Morgan said, "Holy Gorilla Manure Batman, the Commissioner is in league with the Weather Witch!"
"Let's get them!" Stoney shouted, "Ta na na na na na na na na na na na Batman!!!!!"
"Blimey." Bilby complained from a lawn chair, "Can't a man have a hangover in peace around here!?"
~ ~ ~ ~
L1701E, I promise I'll put Paul and Craig in shortly. All of you, thanks for your support, I really appreciate it. I'll get back into the plot in a short order, with the conspiracy beginning in Los Angeles.
