A/N: This was a spoof I did for an assignment, werid and twisted too. Please review after your done.

Setting: Capulet's garden

[Enter Romeo]

Romeo: My friend Mercutio does not understand love, nor would I expect him, for he was never hurt by love.except that time with the Maths teacher.

[He sees Juliet on the balcony]

My God! Finally my gal has come, just seeing her fills my heart with warm, like hot chocolate on a cold winter's night. Man! I could well do with some right now, seeing it's below zero degrees down here.

[Juliet walks along the balcony]

There she is, my angel, look at those perfect lush lips, just waiting to met mine. Even though she does not speak, her unpolluted eyes are revealing her deepest thoughts. Lets just cross my fingers that she will be as delighted to see me as a drug addict crabbing for heroin, because that is how I feel for her.

Oh those lush cheeks, just with that rosy glow, and I'll be satisfied if I could lay my hands upon her face.

Juliet: Oh.how I hate maths!

Romeo: She speaks! Her voice is as sweet as a nightingales.wait, not really.but to me there is non sweeter. I look up to her like how I look up to Britney Spears. You are a masterpiece of God, an angel, sailing upon the polluted air of Hong Kong.

Juliet: Oh Romeo, Romeo, why the hell do you have to be Romeo? Abandon you father, abandon your name, and together we shall both run away from home to travel the wonders of the world, visiting Osama Bin Laden, my long lost cousin.

Romeo: Should I hear more? Shall I talk now? Why can't life be easier?

Juliet: It's his stupid name that is my enemy, why can't we go to court and change our names? That's it! I've got an uncle whose a lawyer in New York; I'll give him a ring sometimes! Since Montague is nothing but a name, what is a name? That we call fertilizer by any name would smell as foul? So what would Romeo be called? Bob sounds nice.

Romeo(to Juliet): Then I'll take your word, from now on you can Baptise me again, for now I'll take on the name of Bob!

Juliet: Who are you? Are you a thief or are you E.T? Don't you know it's rude to listen to other's classified information?

Romeo: I'm Bob, you named me sweet Juliet.

Juliet: Romeo.I mean Bob? Is that really you?

Romeo(now know as Bob): Who else?

Juliet: How did you get here? The gardens of mine have lions and tigers rooming free, don't you think it is dangerous?

Bob: Don't worry, I haven't seen any lions yet.though that stone one there looks quite realistic.who carved all these, because they are.

Romeo, I mean Bob gets eaten by a 'Stone Lion'. Juliet Screams and accidentally falls over the balcony, right into the lions waiting mouth! And that is the True story of the tragedy of Bob and Juliet.

~END~

A/N: Now unless you want to be eaten by a stone lion, you better REVIEW!