The new student 9
A/N- I do not own JTHM, Noodle boy, Harry Potter or anything else that I might mention in my plethora of stories and random idea's. Just in case Jhonen Vasquez is reading this, I hope your left earlobe isn't vibrating.
Hermione sat at her desk leaning back in her chair, her feet propped on the desktop reading a comic that looked very disturbed. A row of knives were in the background and a fiercely thin man was in front of them holding his own knife in a threatening way. She was thoroughly engrossed in the rag turning it left and right. It was Tuesday, she had one less class on Tuesdays so she was taking the time to relax a little. Samuel had not returned on Monday and Hermione was trying to put it out if her mind. She had just gotten to the comic within the comic, supposedly drawn by Nny himself. Happy Noodle Boy, it was so ridiculous she couldn't help but laugh. By the end of the mini-comic she was laughing so hard she didn't notice that someone had come in.
"Everyone says I need a good laugh, maybe you should let me borrow that." Hermione jumped at the voice and her chair fell backwards on the floor.
"Oww! Godda... arnit." She crawled out from behind the desk rubbing her head. She turned her head to the side to look at the intruder. Severus Snape stood leaning against the door jam arms crossed with a smirk on his face.
"What do you want? Don't lie to me either, I know all about your little wife hunt, and frankly I'm disappointed and a little disgusted." She noticed that his confidence faltered for a second, but just a second. She crawled to the steps that led up to her desk and sat on the edge, still rubbing her head. He moved toward her and leaned over to look at the back of her head. She noticed that she could see her reflection in his shoes, 'Damn I look rough today.'
"You're going to have a knot back there." He stood up and took something out of his pocket, he leaned back over and she felt something cool on the spot where her head hurt. He twisted his body around and sat beside her his hand still holding the coolness in place. "You are still a stupid little girl sometimes. Hold this." Hermione reached her hand up and found that it was an ice-cloth. A little invention of Severus's that had come in very handy man times in the Hospital wing.
"Do you always carry medical supplies around with you?" Hermione moved the cloth and winced when she touched the bump.
"Keep the cloth on there." He put his hand on top of hers and put the cloth back on her head. She relished the warmth of his touch. "I'll start carrying an entire hospital with me if I'm going to see you more often." He took his hand away. She looked at him and noticed that the closed look was gone and for once he looked pleasant.
"What makes you think I am going to let you see me?" Hermione looked down at the floor.
"If you don't, I'll tell your headmaster that you have a violent streak, really Ms. Granger, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac? What kind of Muggle trash is this?" She looked over at him to see him flipping through her comic.
"It's Albus's muggle trash."
"Should've known. So I guess he is the one that let you in on the little secret?" It was more of a statement than a question.
"Yes, and I am appalled. Sending Samuel around from school to school to mom hunt? That's wrong, even for you."
"What's that suppose to mean? Even for me? You sem to think I am somehow below other people."
"No just willing to stoop lower, I mean you are the person who said he saw no difference in my teeth when they were down to my chin." She subconsciously sucked her teeth.
"You really know how to hold a grudge."
"You have no idea." She handed him the cloth. "Here, the cold is gone, that means it's better right?"
"Yeas Ms. Granger astute as ever."
"You know you should market those. We could really use them here. We have a lot of fights."
"You mean dueling? In the halls?"
"No I mean fights, fist fights. These students are more aggressively based than those at Hogwarts. Hogwarts students are more magically based. I doubt hardly any of the Hogwarts students have had to go through what these kids have, except maybe Harry." Severus groaned.
"Don't tell me you are still one of his little disciples?"
"I was never a disciple. I was and am a friend. He works in the area, he is the school medi-wizard."
"Oh so you and he are still a couple then." Severus brought his shields back up and closed off again. Hermione hated to see that. Still she laughed, everyone had thought she and Harry or she and Ron would end up together.
"Harry and I were never an item Severus. Harry is happily Gay." Severus looked questioningly at her.
"Happily happy?" Hermione remembered that muggle slang doesn't always crossover to the wizard world.
"Gay as in homosexual Severus, you really need to get out of that dungeon sometime."
"That must be why everyone was snickering in the staff room." Hermione looked at him questioningly. "We have a new DADA teacher, of course, and they asked me what I thought of him. In my usual tone,"
"Sarcasm?"
"What?"
"Sarcasm, isn't that your usual tone?"
"Sarcasm isn't a tone, this isn't the point you are straying from the story, I said in my usual way, that he was a perfectly gay fellow."
"You do realize that he is going to end up leaving because of rumors that he is gay."
"Well, I think he might actually be gay, I believe he was coming on to me the other day, now that I realize my faux pas. He sat next to me at the table and was whispering something about me knowing his secret and that I must know from experience." He shook his head.
"Now you've done it, the Slytherins are going to get their queen alright, drag queen." Hermione laughed at her own, bad joke until she realized that she had lost Severus again. "Aww, nevermind. Why are you here anyway?"
"Trying to court you."
"Well you suck at this."
"What happened to the perfect Ms, Granger, perfect grammar and annunciation? You are beginning to sound uneducated."
"I teach kids, many from America, that have bad grammar, among other things. Sometimes to bring them up to our level, we have to go down a bit. I haven't forgotten my training, I just need to be more down to earth around here. I'm sure Ron would've appreciated that back then."
"Well what has happened to Mr. Weasley? Is he Mr. Potters boyfriend? He always was stuck up his arse." Hermione playfully smacked Severus in the arm.
"No he ran away screaming when he found out, literally. We haven't seen him since." She realized she was enjoying this relaxed Snape. He seemed younger, easier to connect to. "Is this and act?"
"What ?"
"Is this an act? This boyish care free fun guy I see. Or is that what you are using to lure me into doing this ... thing. I'm not sure who the real you is and where the other Snape starts. The angry, resentful, bitter old man who tormented my friends and I through school. The man who was trying to trick me into becoming the new queen of the Slytherins. I'm not sure what is real and what is you." Snape stood and Hermione felt that if he had a hat he would have slammed it onto his head.
"Excuse me Ms. Granger, I'm sorry to have wasted your time. I can see that our past situations are going to affect this too much. I really do not want to switch Samuel's school again so if you could see fit to teach him to the best of your knowledge, you will be having no more problems from him or me." He walked out of the class room and Hermione sat stock still, completely confused at the sudden turn of events.
