AN/ here's another chapter! I'm very proud of myself. I thought I was just
writing this ficcy for the sake of it because I was bored of my other ones
but I'm actually enjoying writing this one much more than the others.
Thankies for the reviews. I seriously can't believe you people actually read this!! Thankyou a million times!
Achoo: your commanding words have persuaded me to keep writing. Have fun playing with your Sims.
Cotume: Glad you think my story is funny in some ways. I didn't.: S be prepared for a plot twist.enjoy!
Bant: Thanks for the review! Poor, poor Leggie, don't worry, nothing too hideous will happen to him. unless I'm feeling super evil. mwa haa haa
LegolasLover2003: I'll join too. Let me know if you desperately want to see the ballet, there is a serious plot twist in this chapter that no one will be expecting.
Sammie-Chan: How excellent are you? You have read and reviewed all of my ficcys and I luv it! Thankyou sooooooo *takes a breath* oooooooooo much! Canary Yellow, *shudder*
Saturndragon: I for one WOULD pay to see Legolas in a tutu, or tights. Hehe. Enjoy this chappie,
Thankyou for all your wonderful reviews! I'm gonna start writing in a minute, right after the disclaimer.
Disclaimer: LOTR does not belong to me. I wish it did but sadly it does not. Just think how badly I would dement it if I did own LOTR, I see some punk elves and hobbits with green hair. Perhaps not.
Sometime soon there will be a party. If you want a cameo please review. If you want to come to the party all you have to do is tell me what costume you would like. Ta! (Am I the only person who ever says ta?)
Ok, Chapter Three underway! Enjoy! Be prepared for a serious twist!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*Previously*
Aragorn scowled and hung up. He had been trying to reach the fellowship's house for ten minutes now but obviously someone was on the phone. (Perhaps Glorifindel ringing to borrow money or Arwen calling to find out where Aragorn was.)
Sighing in an exasperated sort of way Aragorn plonked down on the pavement and watched as his beloved car was towed. Why did it happen like this every week? Every Sunday Aragorn went to his weekly monopoly club meeting, where Elrond was president, and his car was towed from one end of town to the other. Every weekend he called and every weekend the fellowship refused to come and pick him up.
Sighing again Aragorn decided to get up and have some ice cream. Earning himself some odd looks from passers by Aragorn continued up the street towards the ice cream parlour.
Looking around for a can to kick Aragorn spied something very interesting in a drain. A $100 note!
"Hehe, I'm in the money now!" the ranger thought to himself as he got down on his hands and knees and tried to work out a way to get the note out of the drain.
Now Aragorn was not the nearly as thick as Gandalf was but he was certainly no genius. Without thinking the ranger thrust his arm into the small space between the gutter and the grate. Chuckling to himself the ranger got a hold of the money and went to pull his arm back out, only to discover it was stuck.
Swearing quite loudly Aragorn tried to get his arm unstuck. Most people would just lift up the grate but Aragorn had not thought of that yet.
There was a toot and Aragorn turned around to see Galadriel park her car about 5 meters away. Her swan car that looked quite a lot like a boat. Perhaps that was because it was a boat with some dodgy wheels stuck on. Anyway, the elf got out of her car and skipped over to where Aragorn was on his knees with his arm stuck in the drain.
"Whatcha Doin?" Galadriel asked, resembling a small child in the way she spoke. Or perhaps it was the lollipop that gave that impression.
Aragorn groaned. "Dancing around the bathroom drinking beer in an elephant costume," he said sarcastically.
Before he could continue Galadriel broke in. "Oh, that sounds fun, can I play too?" she asked, obviously not getting the sarcasm. "No, really, what are you doing?"
"Trying to get my arm out of the drain," hissed Aragorn. "I found 100 bucks and cant reach it." He added. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh, I was gazing at my complexion in my mirror." Galadriel began
"Mirror?"
"The toilet bowl, when I saw your car be picked up by a tow truck and taken to the scrap yard. I was coming down to laugh at you then I saw you licking the gutter." The elf said, as easily as if this was what she did every weekend.
"Oh." Was Aragorn's only reply. "Well seeing as how you're here now could you help me get my arm out?" he asked.
"What's in it for me?" Galadriel asked.
"I'll buy you a lollipop?" Aragorn offered.
"Oh goody!" squealed the elf and she took a hold of Aragorn and pulled. With no more than a scream and a bit of pain or too Aragorn sat back panting on the sidewalk clutching his arm. He wouldn't have minded had he managed to keep a hold of the money.
"How are we going to get it now?" Galadriel asked, popping a piece of gum into her mouth.
A thought suddenly struck Aragorn. It hurt. "Can I have some gum?" he asked the elf garbed in white. (Lets not mention the gravy stain on the front of her dress and the mud along the bottom.)
"Why?" Galadriel asked.
"Cos I have an idea," Aragorn replied.
"K," she said and handed Aragorn a piece of gum.
The ranger put the pink, sticky goo into his mouth and chewed it for a bit before rummaging through his pockets. Finally he found something that might help and emptied his pockets. They contained. A small green squeaky cow, some oatmeal cookies, (The only kind that Legolas would allow in the house) A few paper clips, a mirror, some knitting wool, a few rocks, some monopoly money (his secret stash in case Elrond was beating him), an old lollipop that was covered in fluff and lint, an elastic band, a few other items and a pin cushion.
Picking out the wool, a paperclip and the small squeaky cow Aragorn tossed the rest back into his pockets. Tying the wool to the paperclip the ranger then stuck his already very well chewed gum onto the paperclip and lowered it down into the drain.
"What's the cow for?" Galadriel asked.
"Oh nothing," Aragorn replied, trying to concentrate on sticking his gum to the $100. "I just like to have some support when I'm doing stuff. Moo Moo here makes great company."
The elf raised her eyebrows. "Ohhkaay."
Suddenly a bus drove past and splashed both elf and ranger with muddy water.
"Damn!" Aragorn hissed in frustration as the gum fell off the paperclip. "Stupid money, you win!" he shouted to the note lying in the bottom of the drain. "I'm going home. Galadriel, could you give me a lift?"
Looking around Aragorn waved his fist angrily as the swan boat/car sped off in the opposite direction. "Stupid elf." Muttered the ranger as he strode over to the bus shelter to wait for the next bus.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The activities in the house that morning had been fairly different from Aragorn's episode with the money in the drain.
Gimli stomped out into the kitchen to see what the entire racket was about, and who had hit whom. The dwarf could not, however, help but laugh as he saw a blonde figure in Pikachu boxer shorts out cold on the kitchen floor.
"What did he do this time?" Gimli asked Haldir, the elf trying to hide the frying pan he was holding.
Haldir shrugged. "He was making too much noise," Haldir responded.
Gimli shook his head and looked around the kitchen. The phone was still dangling off the cord, a female voice still talking, not realising the speaker was unconscious.
Frodo groaned and picked up the phone.
"Hello? Sorry, Legolas is currently not available." Frodo said, trying to sound professional. "He was hit over the head with a frying pan and is currently unconscious, please call back later." And with that Frodo hung up.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
On the other line Legolas's 'mother' laughed hysterically, also hanging up.
"Good one Elladan," snickered Arwen, hi-fiving her brother. "Did he suspect anything?"
Elladan shook his head, his body still racked with laughter. Finally regaining his breath the elf spoke. "Nope, stupid blonde." He said, still not believing Legolas had actually thought he was his mother.
Elrohir smiled and picked up the phone, preparing for another prank phone call.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Things for Merry and Pippin were not going quite so well. Pippin too had fainted from sheer exhaustion and was propped up against the back wall. Merry too would have gladly collapsed but he was too terrified of what that evil dwarf woman would do to him if he slacked off. Probably make him wear high heeled shoes *shudder* or worse, WATCH THE ANIMATED LORD OF THE RINGS!!! (Pure evil, evil I tell you!)
This sheer fear was more than enough to keep Merry upright and the rest of the lesson went fairly smoothly. Apart from the countless times the teacher had barked at Merry, telling him he was doing everything wrong or ordering him to do something such as demonstrate his pathetic dance efforts to the entire class.
By the end of the class all the girls were having fits of giggling, Pippin had woken up with a splitting headache and Merry's feet felt like they were about to fall off.
Dragging Pippin with him Merry gathered up their things and made his way out to the car.
Digging through his pockets to find the car keys Merry yanked them out, only to drop them in a very deep, muddy puddle.
"Damn, Pippin, you get the keys," Merry said to his friend.
Pippin was too pooped to care so he splashed his hand into the puddle and pulled out the very wet, muddy keys. Merry snatched them off him and unlocked the car. It was actually Legolas's car but seeing as how the elf had had his drivers licence cancelled on account of an incident involving some salami, an old lady and speeding, he wasn't allowed to drive. (Not a little thing like having no licence actually stopped him.)
Merry opened the door to the elf's prized red Ferrari (yes, the elf was the only member of the fellowship that had a good car. He was not, however, the world's best driver) and pulled the pile of phone books out from under the seat. Plonking them on the seat the hobbit climbed on top and pulled Pippin in after him. It was Pippin's job to push the acceleration pedals and the brake when Merry told him to so the hobbit sat on the floor.
Seat belts were bucked and Turning the key the car roared to life. "Pippin put your foot down!" yelled Merry and the red Ferrari went speeding off towards the fellowship's home.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
TBC
AN/ hehe. Did everyone like the little plot twist? Don't worry, might still have some ballet. Legolas doesn't know it wasn't his mummy (yes, I am Australian. Sorry but 'Mommy' annoys me so much) so he might still have to go.
In the next chapter we'll see what happens when Legolas wakes up and if Aragorn misses the bus. I could go on for a while but I don't want to give anything away.
Bye Please Review! I don't really need to write this cos I know all you wonderful readers will. (
Toodles Love Lamoo
Thankies for the reviews. I seriously can't believe you people actually read this!! Thankyou a million times!
Achoo: your commanding words have persuaded me to keep writing. Have fun playing with your Sims.
Cotume: Glad you think my story is funny in some ways. I didn't.: S be prepared for a plot twist.enjoy!
Bant: Thanks for the review! Poor, poor Leggie, don't worry, nothing too hideous will happen to him. unless I'm feeling super evil. mwa haa haa
LegolasLover2003: I'll join too. Let me know if you desperately want to see the ballet, there is a serious plot twist in this chapter that no one will be expecting.
Sammie-Chan: How excellent are you? You have read and reviewed all of my ficcys and I luv it! Thankyou sooooooo *takes a breath* oooooooooo much! Canary Yellow, *shudder*
Saturndragon: I for one WOULD pay to see Legolas in a tutu, or tights. Hehe. Enjoy this chappie,
Thankyou for all your wonderful reviews! I'm gonna start writing in a minute, right after the disclaimer.
Disclaimer: LOTR does not belong to me. I wish it did but sadly it does not. Just think how badly I would dement it if I did own LOTR, I see some punk elves and hobbits with green hair. Perhaps not.
Sometime soon there will be a party. If you want a cameo please review. If you want to come to the party all you have to do is tell me what costume you would like. Ta! (Am I the only person who ever says ta?)
Ok, Chapter Three underway! Enjoy! Be prepared for a serious twist!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*Previously*
Aragorn scowled and hung up. He had been trying to reach the fellowship's house for ten minutes now but obviously someone was on the phone. (Perhaps Glorifindel ringing to borrow money or Arwen calling to find out where Aragorn was.)
Sighing in an exasperated sort of way Aragorn plonked down on the pavement and watched as his beloved car was towed. Why did it happen like this every week? Every Sunday Aragorn went to his weekly monopoly club meeting, where Elrond was president, and his car was towed from one end of town to the other. Every weekend he called and every weekend the fellowship refused to come and pick him up.
Sighing again Aragorn decided to get up and have some ice cream. Earning himself some odd looks from passers by Aragorn continued up the street towards the ice cream parlour.
Looking around for a can to kick Aragorn spied something very interesting in a drain. A $100 note!
"Hehe, I'm in the money now!" the ranger thought to himself as he got down on his hands and knees and tried to work out a way to get the note out of the drain.
Now Aragorn was not the nearly as thick as Gandalf was but he was certainly no genius. Without thinking the ranger thrust his arm into the small space between the gutter and the grate. Chuckling to himself the ranger got a hold of the money and went to pull his arm back out, only to discover it was stuck.
Swearing quite loudly Aragorn tried to get his arm unstuck. Most people would just lift up the grate but Aragorn had not thought of that yet.
There was a toot and Aragorn turned around to see Galadriel park her car about 5 meters away. Her swan car that looked quite a lot like a boat. Perhaps that was because it was a boat with some dodgy wheels stuck on. Anyway, the elf got out of her car and skipped over to where Aragorn was on his knees with his arm stuck in the drain.
"Whatcha Doin?" Galadriel asked, resembling a small child in the way she spoke. Or perhaps it was the lollipop that gave that impression.
Aragorn groaned. "Dancing around the bathroom drinking beer in an elephant costume," he said sarcastically.
Before he could continue Galadriel broke in. "Oh, that sounds fun, can I play too?" she asked, obviously not getting the sarcasm. "No, really, what are you doing?"
"Trying to get my arm out of the drain," hissed Aragorn. "I found 100 bucks and cant reach it." He added. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh, I was gazing at my complexion in my mirror." Galadriel began
"Mirror?"
"The toilet bowl, when I saw your car be picked up by a tow truck and taken to the scrap yard. I was coming down to laugh at you then I saw you licking the gutter." The elf said, as easily as if this was what she did every weekend.
"Oh." Was Aragorn's only reply. "Well seeing as how you're here now could you help me get my arm out?" he asked.
"What's in it for me?" Galadriel asked.
"I'll buy you a lollipop?" Aragorn offered.
"Oh goody!" squealed the elf and she took a hold of Aragorn and pulled. With no more than a scream and a bit of pain or too Aragorn sat back panting on the sidewalk clutching his arm. He wouldn't have minded had he managed to keep a hold of the money.
"How are we going to get it now?" Galadriel asked, popping a piece of gum into her mouth.
A thought suddenly struck Aragorn. It hurt. "Can I have some gum?" he asked the elf garbed in white. (Lets not mention the gravy stain on the front of her dress and the mud along the bottom.)
"Why?" Galadriel asked.
"Cos I have an idea," Aragorn replied.
"K," she said and handed Aragorn a piece of gum.
The ranger put the pink, sticky goo into his mouth and chewed it for a bit before rummaging through his pockets. Finally he found something that might help and emptied his pockets. They contained. A small green squeaky cow, some oatmeal cookies, (The only kind that Legolas would allow in the house) A few paper clips, a mirror, some knitting wool, a few rocks, some monopoly money (his secret stash in case Elrond was beating him), an old lollipop that was covered in fluff and lint, an elastic band, a few other items and a pin cushion.
Picking out the wool, a paperclip and the small squeaky cow Aragorn tossed the rest back into his pockets. Tying the wool to the paperclip the ranger then stuck his already very well chewed gum onto the paperclip and lowered it down into the drain.
"What's the cow for?" Galadriel asked.
"Oh nothing," Aragorn replied, trying to concentrate on sticking his gum to the $100. "I just like to have some support when I'm doing stuff. Moo Moo here makes great company."
The elf raised her eyebrows. "Ohhkaay."
Suddenly a bus drove past and splashed both elf and ranger with muddy water.
"Damn!" Aragorn hissed in frustration as the gum fell off the paperclip. "Stupid money, you win!" he shouted to the note lying in the bottom of the drain. "I'm going home. Galadriel, could you give me a lift?"
Looking around Aragorn waved his fist angrily as the swan boat/car sped off in the opposite direction. "Stupid elf." Muttered the ranger as he strode over to the bus shelter to wait for the next bus.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The activities in the house that morning had been fairly different from Aragorn's episode with the money in the drain.
Gimli stomped out into the kitchen to see what the entire racket was about, and who had hit whom. The dwarf could not, however, help but laugh as he saw a blonde figure in Pikachu boxer shorts out cold on the kitchen floor.
"What did he do this time?" Gimli asked Haldir, the elf trying to hide the frying pan he was holding.
Haldir shrugged. "He was making too much noise," Haldir responded.
Gimli shook his head and looked around the kitchen. The phone was still dangling off the cord, a female voice still talking, not realising the speaker was unconscious.
Frodo groaned and picked up the phone.
"Hello? Sorry, Legolas is currently not available." Frodo said, trying to sound professional. "He was hit over the head with a frying pan and is currently unconscious, please call back later." And with that Frodo hung up.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
On the other line Legolas's 'mother' laughed hysterically, also hanging up.
"Good one Elladan," snickered Arwen, hi-fiving her brother. "Did he suspect anything?"
Elladan shook his head, his body still racked with laughter. Finally regaining his breath the elf spoke. "Nope, stupid blonde." He said, still not believing Legolas had actually thought he was his mother.
Elrohir smiled and picked up the phone, preparing for another prank phone call.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Things for Merry and Pippin were not going quite so well. Pippin too had fainted from sheer exhaustion and was propped up against the back wall. Merry too would have gladly collapsed but he was too terrified of what that evil dwarf woman would do to him if he slacked off. Probably make him wear high heeled shoes *shudder* or worse, WATCH THE ANIMATED LORD OF THE RINGS!!! (Pure evil, evil I tell you!)
This sheer fear was more than enough to keep Merry upright and the rest of the lesson went fairly smoothly. Apart from the countless times the teacher had barked at Merry, telling him he was doing everything wrong or ordering him to do something such as demonstrate his pathetic dance efforts to the entire class.
By the end of the class all the girls were having fits of giggling, Pippin had woken up with a splitting headache and Merry's feet felt like they were about to fall off.
Dragging Pippin with him Merry gathered up their things and made his way out to the car.
Digging through his pockets to find the car keys Merry yanked them out, only to drop them in a very deep, muddy puddle.
"Damn, Pippin, you get the keys," Merry said to his friend.
Pippin was too pooped to care so he splashed his hand into the puddle and pulled out the very wet, muddy keys. Merry snatched them off him and unlocked the car. It was actually Legolas's car but seeing as how the elf had had his drivers licence cancelled on account of an incident involving some salami, an old lady and speeding, he wasn't allowed to drive. (Not a little thing like having no licence actually stopped him.)
Merry opened the door to the elf's prized red Ferrari (yes, the elf was the only member of the fellowship that had a good car. He was not, however, the world's best driver) and pulled the pile of phone books out from under the seat. Plonking them on the seat the hobbit climbed on top and pulled Pippin in after him. It was Pippin's job to push the acceleration pedals and the brake when Merry told him to so the hobbit sat on the floor.
Seat belts were bucked and Turning the key the car roared to life. "Pippin put your foot down!" yelled Merry and the red Ferrari went speeding off towards the fellowship's home.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
TBC
AN/ hehe. Did everyone like the little plot twist? Don't worry, might still have some ballet. Legolas doesn't know it wasn't his mummy (yes, I am Australian. Sorry but 'Mommy' annoys me so much) so he might still have to go.
In the next chapter we'll see what happens when Legolas wakes up and if Aragorn misses the bus. I could go on for a while but I don't want to give anything away.
Bye Please Review! I don't really need to write this cos I know all you wonderful readers will. (
Toodles Love Lamoo
