Rum Cake, Tiny Terrors and Quicksilver Flambé
Disclaimer: Same as before. Just a little bit of humor to kind of tone out the angst.
RoguefanKC: You wanted more Maleficent torture, well here's some more...
~ ~ ~ ~
Lance laughed hysterically when he saw Pietro walk back into the house with a sour expression on his face, his hair singed and out of place, and his costume sporting several burnt spots. "Very funny..." Pietro growled.
"I'll say. You got hit by the inferno in the Death Valley Obstacle Course, didn't you?" Lance laughed.
"Yeah, who would have thought that Flint would be running training today. And ever worse that he talked Barbecue into running the pyrotechnics portion. Jeez what a grouch." Pietro complained.
"Yeah, well you got what you deserved." Lance said, "You know, the roasted, plucked chicken look is an improvement..."
"Why you!!!" Pietro began when suddenly Lockheed swooped down and set Pietro's costume on fire again, and then he chomped down on his rear end.
"OWWWWW!!! He's biting my butt! He's biting my butt!" Pietro shouted, running around the house at high speed.
"WAAAHHH!!!" One of the babies shouted, waking up suddenly both babies were awake.
"Pietro! Lance! Keep the noise down over there, I just put these two down for their nap!" Bilby shouted from upstairs.
"Where's Kitty? Maybe she and Lance can play house with the babies and....YEOWCH! Stop it you lunatic lizard!" Pietro shouted as Lockheed clamped his tiny jaws on his rear end.
"That's a good question." Armand replied, "Unfortunately I don't know."
Meanwhile Althea, Wanda, Cover Girl and now Kitty all stood on the hill overlooking Shipwreck's house with binoculars. "Do you think we should help them?" Wanda asked.
"Nah." Althea replied, as something else caught fire, "Dad trying to cook causes a lot more damage."
"Don't remind me." Cover Girl replied, "Shipwreck's worse than my old boyfriend when I was a model. He can't cook for shit."
"Well he did make the Omelet Surprise this morning..." Wanda mused, "It was kinda good."
"Compared to the stuff they served you at the asylum, I'm not surprised. Let's just say I never thought that shrimp, cayenne pepper, mushrooms, green peppers and a healthy dose of beer were omelet ingredients." Althea jibed, "Then again, Dad shouldn't have borrowed recipes from BA."
"It's better than BA's Outback Soufflé, that's for sure." Cover Girl replied, "I thought Bilby was gonna kill BA when it exploded into the kitchen."
"You should've seen him when he found out BA put Nickelodeon slime in the Bloomin' Onions." Wanda replied, "You'd think that BA had insulted his family or something."
"OW! OUCH! YOU STUPID DRAGON!!!!" Pietro screamed as he ran out onto the front lawn with his butt on fire.
Barney and Claudius were playing in the shallow part of the pool with D'Artagnan and Lance watching them. Claudius didn't need much supervision, but Barney had every sort of floatation device attached to him.
"BANZAI!" Pietro yelled and jumped into the pool to extinguish the flames.
Both babies started bawling again. "Now look what you did you moron!" Lance shouted.
Fred, Toad, and Multiple were also playing in the pool. Suddenly BA walked into the backyard with a big plate of some sort of cake, "Well, here's some of my new recipe."
"It's getting harder to avoid BA, now that he's doing the traveling food sampling bit between meals." Althea mused.
"Wait, watch this..." Wanda said, watching the carnage soon to occur.
"Pietro, try this cake." BA said.
"Uh ah. Not after the BA's Outback Soufflé disaster..." Pietro replied.
Blob said, "Can I have some?"
"Sure, let me give it that last special ingredient." BA replied.
"This I gotta see, Blob eating yet another of BA's recipes..." Pietro replied.
"What is it?" Blob asked as Quicksilver edged in closer.
"Quicksilver a la Flambé!" BA replied, and set the concoction on fire using a lighter with a magician's flourish.
"Eyiieeeee!!!!" Pietro shouted and fainted dead away.
A massive fireball shot into the sky, setting Pietro's butt on fire yet again. "OW! HOT BUNS! HOT BUNS!"
"See, rave reviews and...Uh oh!" BA replied when he saw Pietro running after him with Barney's little whiffle bat.
~ ~ ~ ~
"So where is this elite force of ninjas you say are gonna help me kidnap that pesky little Pryde girl?" Maleficent said to COBRA Commander.
"They're in the gymnasium, I got them at a bargain price." COBRA Commander replied.
"Oh God Forbid!" Destro groaned, "You know what happens whenever you try to make alliances with ninjas, they turn on you."
"Don't worry, I stole the Baroness' credit card to pay these guys." COBRA Commander said as the trio walked into the gymnasium.
"Ninjas! Fall in!" Ninja Leader shouted.
"Hai!! Hai! Hai!!!" came the shout. About half a dozen ninjas were standing at attention before COBRA Commander.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" The ninjas shouted as they collided with each other trying to get into position.
"These are the elite ninjas you were promising?" Maleficent said, astonished and then angry. Her face then contorted into an angry expression, "Do you forget what I taught you?"
"I know." COBRA Commander said, "Never cross a sorceress..."
"What do you expect for sixteen dollars and ninety five cents a head?" Destro replied, attempting to placate Maleficent.
"Fine, I'll provide them transportation." Maleficent said and a portal appeared behind the seven royally mixed up ninjas.
~ ~ ~ ~
"BILBY!!!" Came the shout, it sounded like Logan and Hank shouting.
"What is it mate?" Bilby said.
"I'd best come along as well. Lance and the boys can watch the kids perfectly." D'Artagnan said, "Whenever it involves the X-men its always bad news...From what I've seen anyway."
The pair walked down the street to find Storm hanging upside down from a tire swing wrapped in about three fishing nets.
"Y'know Storm," Bilby quipped, "Fishnet stockings are out of fashion."
"Zounds! Geez, what a grouch!" Bilby shouted as he dodged a lightning blast, "What happened?"
"Ta na na na na na na na na na na na! Batman!!!" came the all too familiar shout.
"Oh God no!" Bilby said.
"What happened?" D'Artagnan asked.
"Somehow Stoney and Morgan got severely tanked." Bilby replied.
"Speak of the devil." D'Artagnan said, seeing Stoney wearing his trademark loud tie dyed head band, a towel around his neck, and polarized sunglasses. Morgan wore a towel around his neck and a Mardi Gras mask.
"Ta na na na na na na na na! Batman!" They shouted.
"OK Batman and Robin." Bilby shouted, "It's time to go bust the Joker at the Misfit House."
"Holy Rings of Saturn Batman, the Australian Tracker has spotted our number one arch enemy!" Morgan shouted.
"Let us ask this humble man of the Outback if he's seen anyone else other than the demented, evil weather goddess..." Stoney said.
Storm powered up. "Calm down Ororo." Hank said, only to be electrocuted.
"OWWW! What did I do to deserve that?" Hank replied.
Bilby made up some more nonsense to trick the Dynamic Duo back to the Misfit House and a couple industrial strength fishing nets Shipwreck had lying around.
"Holy Josie and the Pussy Cats Batman, the Bayville Sirens want to abduct Baby Beaky and Claudius!" Morgan snapped.
"Time's a wasting Robin, lets go head them off at the pass!!!" Stoney shouted.
The pair double timed in step down the road, chanting, "Ta na na na na na na na na! Batman!!!!"
"Oh boy," Donald groaned as he watched all this, "And these are supposedly the elite unit that has fought off the Heartless."
"Gee Donald, I don't know. It seems like they've got a lot done." Goofy said, "(Hic) And I think those two got into BA's nice and tasty bum cake...(Hic)."
"That's Rum Cake Goofy!" Donald shouted, and noticing Goofy had some in a doggie bag, "Mind if I have some?"
"Sure Donald, go ahead, hyuck! That stuff is great hyuck!" Goofy replied.
Little did either of them know that BA's rum cake contained more than just a healthy dose of rum baked into the recipe. It also had about four or five different types of spirits ranging from Smirnoff Ice, a few bottles of forty, malt liquor, and a couple quarts of moonshine. Even tasting it could get one tanked.
~ ~ ~ ~
Five minutes later: Law sat in his police humvee with Order, other than writing the occasional parking ticket or playing meter maid, today was a slow day.
"Aye Carumba Order, Just once I wish something would happen right about now...."
Just then Stoney and Morgan came running by, chanting, "Ta na na na na na na na! Batman!"
"OK, maybe boring wasn't so bad." Law remarked, "Maybe I'd best go drive over to the Motor Pool and see if Cross Country can't put in that CD changer..."
Just then he saw Donald and Goofy disco dancing on the sidewalk, their fingers in the air in the John Travolta stance.
"Ha ha ha ha Stayin' alive! Stayin' Alive!" Donald shouted, the singing drifting into the Humvee.
"Oh God. BA served Rum Cake again?" Law replied, "I guess today's not gonna be too boring after all."
Law parked his Humvee and watched the fun as Donald and Goofy started dancing around like they were in a bad remake of Disco Inferno. He saw Bilby and D'Artagnan laughing as well, standing about half a block away.
Between laughs, D'Artagnan felt the warm fuzzy that he had only felt sporadically since the loss of the Destiny Islands. Bilby felt the same way, despite having lost Akima again.
"Whoever said laughter was the best medicine sure wasn't kidding." Bilby said, wiping tears out of his eyes as Donald pointed his staff in the air and started shaking his groovy.
"Oui, he sure wasn't." D'Artagnan laughed, "I haven't laughed this hard since Grandpa Sora's old stories about those two."
"They're gonna get quite the morning after hangover, eh?" Bilby said.
"From what Cover Girl was saying, BA's Rum Cake does that to everyone." D'Artagnan shouted as Bazooka came running down the road wearing nothing but his helmet and birthday suit.
"YAHOO! PARTY NAKED!!!!" Bazooka shouted.
"Be careful what you wish for." Law groaned as he started after the streaking Bazooka.
~ ~ ~ ~
Next, COBRA Commander's ninjas attack and run smack into the Misfits, "Batman and Robin" and assorted other chaos...Keep them reviews coming.
Disclaimer: Same as before. Just a little bit of humor to kind of tone out the angst.
RoguefanKC: You wanted more Maleficent torture, well here's some more...
~ ~ ~ ~
Lance laughed hysterically when he saw Pietro walk back into the house with a sour expression on his face, his hair singed and out of place, and his costume sporting several burnt spots. "Very funny..." Pietro growled.
"I'll say. You got hit by the inferno in the Death Valley Obstacle Course, didn't you?" Lance laughed.
"Yeah, who would have thought that Flint would be running training today. And ever worse that he talked Barbecue into running the pyrotechnics portion. Jeez what a grouch." Pietro complained.
"Yeah, well you got what you deserved." Lance said, "You know, the roasted, plucked chicken look is an improvement..."
"Why you!!!" Pietro began when suddenly Lockheed swooped down and set Pietro's costume on fire again, and then he chomped down on his rear end.
"OWWWWW!!! He's biting my butt! He's biting my butt!" Pietro shouted, running around the house at high speed.
"WAAAHHH!!!" One of the babies shouted, waking up suddenly both babies were awake.
"Pietro! Lance! Keep the noise down over there, I just put these two down for their nap!" Bilby shouted from upstairs.
"Where's Kitty? Maybe she and Lance can play house with the babies and....YEOWCH! Stop it you lunatic lizard!" Pietro shouted as Lockheed clamped his tiny jaws on his rear end.
"That's a good question." Armand replied, "Unfortunately I don't know."
Meanwhile Althea, Wanda, Cover Girl and now Kitty all stood on the hill overlooking Shipwreck's house with binoculars. "Do you think we should help them?" Wanda asked.
"Nah." Althea replied, as something else caught fire, "Dad trying to cook causes a lot more damage."
"Don't remind me." Cover Girl replied, "Shipwreck's worse than my old boyfriend when I was a model. He can't cook for shit."
"Well he did make the Omelet Surprise this morning..." Wanda mused, "It was kinda good."
"Compared to the stuff they served you at the asylum, I'm not surprised. Let's just say I never thought that shrimp, cayenne pepper, mushrooms, green peppers and a healthy dose of beer were omelet ingredients." Althea jibed, "Then again, Dad shouldn't have borrowed recipes from BA."
"It's better than BA's Outback Soufflé, that's for sure." Cover Girl replied, "I thought Bilby was gonna kill BA when it exploded into the kitchen."
"You should've seen him when he found out BA put Nickelodeon slime in the Bloomin' Onions." Wanda replied, "You'd think that BA had insulted his family or something."
"OW! OUCH! YOU STUPID DRAGON!!!!" Pietro screamed as he ran out onto the front lawn with his butt on fire.
Barney and Claudius were playing in the shallow part of the pool with D'Artagnan and Lance watching them. Claudius didn't need much supervision, but Barney had every sort of floatation device attached to him.
"BANZAI!" Pietro yelled and jumped into the pool to extinguish the flames.
Both babies started bawling again. "Now look what you did you moron!" Lance shouted.
Fred, Toad, and Multiple were also playing in the pool. Suddenly BA walked into the backyard with a big plate of some sort of cake, "Well, here's some of my new recipe."
"It's getting harder to avoid BA, now that he's doing the traveling food sampling bit between meals." Althea mused.
"Wait, watch this..." Wanda said, watching the carnage soon to occur.
"Pietro, try this cake." BA said.
"Uh ah. Not after the BA's Outback Soufflé disaster..." Pietro replied.
Blob said, "Can I have some?"
"Sure, let me give it that last special ingredient." BA replied.
"This I gotta see, Blob eating yet another of BA's recipes..." Pietro replied.
"What is it?" Blob asked as Quicksilver edged in closer.
"Quicksilver a la Flambé!" BA replied, and set the concoction on fire using a lighter with a magician's flourish.
"Eyiieeeee!!!!" Pietro shouted and fainted dead away.
A massive fireball shot into the sky, setting Pietro's butt on fire yet again. "OW! HOT BUNS! HOT BUNS!"
"See, rave reviews and...Uh oh!" BA replied when he saw Pietro running after him with Barney's little whiffle bat.
~ ~ ~ ~
"So where is this elite force of ninjas you say are gonna help me kidnap that pesky little Pryde girl?" Maleficent said to COBRA Commander.
"They're in the gymnasium, I got them at a bargain price." COBRA Commander replied.
"Oh God Forbid!" Destro groaned, "You know what happens whenever you try to make alliances with ninjas, they turn on you."
"Don't worry, I stole the Baroness' credit card to pay these guys." COBRA Commander said as the trio walked into the gymnasium.
"Ninjas! Fall in!" Ninja Leader shouted.
"Hai!! Hai! Hai!!!" came the shout. About half a dozen ninjas were standing at attention before COBRA Commander.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" The ninjas shouted as they collided with each other trying to get into position.
"These are the elite ninjas you were promising?" Maleficent said, astonished and then angry. Her face then contorted into an angry expression, "Do you forget what I taught you?"
"I know." COBRA Commander said, "Never cross a sorceress..."
"What do you expect for sixteen dollars and ninety five cents a head?" Destro replied, attempting to placate Maleficent.
"Fine, I'll provide them transportation." Maleficent said and a portal appeared behind the seven royally mixed up ninjas.
~ ~ ~ ~
"BILBY!!!" Came the shout, it sounded like Logan and Hank shouting.
"What is it mate?" Bilby said.
"I'd best come along as well. Lance and the boys can watch the kids perfectly." D'Artagnan said, "Whenever it involves the X-men its always bad news...From what I've seen anyway."
The pair walked down the street to find Storm hanging upside down from a tire swing wrapped in about three fishing nets.
"Y'know Storm," Bilby quipped, "Fishnet stockings are out of fashion."
"Zounds! Geez, what a grouch!" Bilby shouted as he dodged a lightning blast, "What happened?"
"Ta na na na na na na na na na na na! Batman!!!" came the all too familiar shout.
"Oh God no!" Bilby said.
"What happened?" D'Artagnan asked.
"Somehow Stoney and Morgan got severely tanked." Bilby replied.
"Speak of the devil." D'Artagnan said, seeing Stoney wearing his trademark loud tie dyed head band, a towel around his neck, and polarized sunglasses. Morgan wore a towel around his neck and a Mardi Gras mask.
"Ta na na na na na na na na! Batman!" They shouted.
"OK Batman and Robin." Bilby shouted, "It's time to go bust the Joker at the Misfit House."
"Holy Rings of Saturn Batman, the Australian Tracker has spotted our number one arch enemy!" Morgan shouted.
"Let us ask this humble man of the Outback if he's seen anyone else other than the demented, evil weather goddess..." Stoney said.
Storm powered up. "Calm down Ororo." Hank said, only to be electrocuted.
"OWWW! What did I do to deserve that?" Hank replied.
Bilby made up some more nonsense to trick the Dynamic Duo back to the Misfit House and a couple industrial strength fishing nets Shipwreck had lying around.
"Holy Josie and the Pussy Cats Batman, the Bayville Sirens want to abduct Baby Beaky and Claudius!" Morgan snapped.
"Time's a wasting Robin, lets go head them off at the pass!!!" Stoney shouted.
The pair double timed in step down the road, chanting, "Ta na na na na na na na na! Batman!!!!"
"Oh boy," Donald groaned as he watched all this, "And these are supposedly the elite unit that has fought off the Heartless."
"Gee Donald, I don't know. It seems like they've got a lot done." Goofy said, "(Hic) And I think those two got into BA's nice and tasty bum cake...(Hic)."
"That's Rum Cake Goofy!" Donald shouted, and noticing Goofy had some in a doggie bag, "Mind if I have some?"
"Sure Donald, go ahead, hyuck! That stuff is great hyuck!" Goofy replied.
Little did either of them know that BA's rum cake contained more than just a healthy dose of rum baked into the recipe. It also had about four or five different types of spirits ranging from Smirnoff Ice, a few bottles of forty, malt liquor, and a couple quarts of moonshine. Even tasting it could get one tanked.
~ ~ ~ ~
Five minutes later: Law sat in his police humvee with Order, other than writing the occasional parking ticket or playing meter maid, today was a slow day.
"Aye Carumba Order, Just once I wish something would happen right about now...."
Just then Stoney and Morgan came running by, chanting, "Ta na na na na na na na! Batman!"
"OK, maybe boring wasn't so bad." Law remarked, "Maybe I'd best go drive over to the Motor Pool and see if Cross Country can't put in that CD changer..."
Just then he saw Donald and Goofy disco dancing on the sidewalk, their fingers in the air in the John Travolta stance.
"Ha ha ha ha Stayin' alive! Stayin' Alive!" Donald shouted, the singing drifting into the Humvee.
"Oh God. BA served Rum Cake again?" Law replied, "I guess today's not gonna be too boring after all."
Law parked his Humvee and watched the fun as Donald and Goofy started dancing around like they were in a bad remake of Disco Inferno. He saw Bilby and D'Artagnan laughing as well, standing about half a block away.
Between laughs, D'Artagnan felt the warm fuzzy that he had only felt sporadically since the loss of the Destiny Islands. Bilby felt the same way, despite having lost Akima again.
"Whoever said laughter was the best medicine sure wasn't kidding." Bilby said, wiping tears out of his eyes as Donald pointed his staff in the air and started shaking his groovy.
"Oui, he sure wasn't." D'Artagnan laughed, "I haven't laughed this hard since Grandpa Sora's old stories about those two."
"They're gonna get quite the morning after hangover, eh?" Bilby said.
"From what Cover Girl was saying, BA's Rum Cake does that to everyone." D'Artagnan shouted as Bazooka came running down the road wearing nothing but his helmet and birthday suit.
"YAHOO! PARTY NAKED!!!!" Bazooka shouted.
"Be careful what you wish for." Law groaned as he started after the streaking Bazooka.
~ ~ ~ ~
Next, COBRA Commander's ninjas attack and run smack into the Misfits, "Batman and Robin" and assorted other chaos...Keep them reviews coming.
