AN/ sorry the last chapter took a little while. I finished it ages ago but
damn ff.net was being annoying and wouldn't let me load stuff.
Anyway, here are those lovely reviews that found their way into my inbox this afternoon.
Cotume: Well, are you back for a while? There should be heaps more chapters coming up. I'm afraid it is a bit late for you to come to the party. Sorry, don't kill me please. but seeing as how you'd like to so much, If I can, I'll squeeze you in. and to make up for it, you should get a cameo appearance somewhere in the next few chapters. Leggie as a teabag would be very drool worthy indeed. Hehe. *Drools but then jumps back because he keyboard short circuits and explodes*
LotRseer3350: Damn! I knew I shouldn't have given away all those hints. Was it really that obvious that the last chapter was rushed? Well, you're right, so clever you are! I really wanted to get it up, I cant wait to write the party chapters. Thanks heaps for reassuring me that the last chapter was readable. Don't worry, I wont leave you hanging; I love writing this fic too much!
Inweofnargothrond: how did I forget to mention that? Now that you mention it, how do the pizza people know where they live? Thanks for reminding me of that. Perhaps the fellowship order pizza so much, the pizza people know them by the sound of their voice. or not. Arg! Why do you have to be such good guessers! I'm kinda annoyed now! Oh well. Hope this chapter gains your approval.
Oddwen: how ever did you know? Oh wait, everybody sees Frodo on a regular basis putting on eyeliner, it's his favourite! Enjoy this chappie!
Anelith: *dances around* I know the feeling. Doesn't it get so annoying when you are dying to read something and the stupid author wont update? Well, that's a bit rich coming from me seeing as how I left my other fic neglected for about two months a while ago. You're welcome; I hope for your sake it wasn't algebra. EVIL!! EVIL!!!
Legolas Stalker: glad you're happy. Seeing as how you didn't make the original party list I figured you deserved a little bit of your own. I am soooo flattered; I can't believe someone said I'm their fav author! (. Thankyou! Anywhoosies, expect more funnies and if you're good, perhaps another random appearance.
Achoo: I actually don't like vegetarian pizza, but seeing as how Legolas is an elf, I figured he'd be more likely to eat that than meat lovers pizza or something. Don't forget, Sam's cooking is notorious for being quite bad. Do you think Legolas will mind if we have a cotton candy machine at our party? Hope not. Cotton candy, or as I call it, fairly floss, is yummy!
Saturndragon: I knew I should have kept my mouth shut. If you want to kiss Legolas I guess you can, as long as you don't mind sharing the elf with me. Hehe. Dares sound like a good idea! Spin the bottle perhaps! Thankyou DJ!
Holly: I love bohemian rhapsody! The coolest song! Glad you think this is funny, my mind is a bit strange sometimes, unable to distinguish whether something is funny, or just plain weird. My fingers haven't dropped off yet so you should be expecting quite a few more chappies from me in the next little while!
Paladin Dragoon: ooh, I like your new pen name. Is it supposed to be dragoon of dragon? Anywho doesn't matter. There'll be plenty of pizza for Loki to slice, PEPERoni too! Hehe. In not going to tell you who Gimli is coming as, you've probably already worked it out. Along with everyone else. *Grumbles and mumbles something incoherent* on a lighter note, hope you, CF and Loki enjoy this chappie!
Mad Dog: good stuff? Aww, thankies! *Blushes* if you really want Boromir in the story I will put him in there somewhere, just for you. Should write more about Gandalf too, seeing as how you asked so nicely. *Grins* not telling anyone anything more about Gimli's costume. You guys might know, but Legolas doesn't.
I love reviews guys, keep em coming! They make me smile knowing someone actually likes reading this blob of wasted Internet space.
Disclaimer: I own a nice red jumper, a cool mug with an elephant on it and a defaced picture of Frodo. The only thing in this fic that perhaps belongs to me is the idea, but sometimes I'm not even sure about that. Not making any profit from this bit of wasted web space as you might expect. Don't sue. no point.
Alrighty then, here is chapter 9!! Be warned, this chapter will be LONG.that all right?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Previously in 'The fellowship and the elf next door,' Legolas met his stalker, Aragorn ordered some Pepsi with the pizza, the fellowship set to work on their costumes and again, Lamoo made no weird appearance.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The fellowship hungrily devoured their pizza. That was until Frodo found something quite unnerving atop his piece of Hawaiian pizza. It might have been otherwise, but to the hobbit it sure looked like a used cotton bud covered in earwax.
"Eeew!" the hobbit yelled, flicking the offending cotton bud off his pizza. The bit of Earwax laden fluff flew and landed in Gandalf's beard. The wizard saw it and grinned. Much to the disgust of the rest of the fellowship, Gandalf picked it out and popped it into his mouth, chewing it delightedly and eventually swallowing it. Legolas suddenly rushed out of the room, looking like he was going to be sick. Sure enough, about a minute later the elf remerged looking much better, but perhaps still a little green.
Frodo wrinkled his nose and put down the bit of Pizza he was holding, opting to go for a bit of the cheese pizza instead.
Luckily, the cheese pizza did not have any disgusting bodily items atop it so Frodo munched it ravenously. With full stomachs, or in Legolas's case, one that would not hold food for long, the fellowship went to bed.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Merry and Pippin bounced into their bunk bed, Pippin taking the top bunk, Merry the bottom. The hobbits room was painted bright orange and their bedspreads were lime green. Standing on the dresser on the opposite wall stood items such as Merry's model ballerina, a whole stack of comic books and Pippin's diary. Beside the bunk stood a bedside table holding two glasses of water and for some reason a jar filled with strange blue liquid and some peanuts.
"Good night Merry,"
"Good night Pip"
Merry snuggled into his pillow and fell asleep immediately, not looking forward to the early start the next day. He had to get up for an early shift at work.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Frodo was very thankful he didn't have to share a room with anyone. Sam snored very, very loudly, Aragorn was known for sleep walking, Legolas could be very PMSy at times (despite the fact that he was a guy) and Gimli was, *shudder* fond of yellow. As for Gandalf, no body had actually seen the inside of his room in years. A strange green smoke always seemed to be coming from under his door and the fellowship would often hear odd explosions coming from the crap hole, as Aragorn called it.
The hobbit changed into his PJs (red with mushrooms) and went to brush his teeth.
Frodo was sure neither Merry's or Pippin's toothbrushes had been touched in at least a month. Cobwebs were gathering on the two colourful children's toothbrushes and Frodo shook his head as he picked up his own toothbrush. He brushed quickly, hurrying so he was sure to be out of the bathroom by the time Aragorn wanted a shower.
He rinsed his mouth and grinned at his reflection in the mirror. Stepping down from his stool, the hobbit dawdled back into his room, closing the door behind him. Frodo's room was painted a boring cream colour, pictures of Cat food adorning the walls. The hobbit dove into bed and pulled out his rifle. Aiming it at the light bulb Frodo pulled the trigger and the light went out. What an easy way to turn out the light without getting out of bed! Of course now he had to change the light bulb.
Frodo fell asleep right after stowing his gun under the bed, amongst the piles of other junk.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Gimli did not go to bed straight away, preferring to sit up and knit for a while.
Swearing, the dwarf was forced to unpick a row of stitches, realising that it would completely dement the stripy pattern he was trying to knit into the scarf he was making. Frustrated with his knitting Gimli threw down his wool and knitting needles, picking up his embroidery from his bedside table.
Gimli was a dwarf; dwarfs are not renown for being very co-ordinated. At last count, before he fell asleep, Gimli poked himself 47 times with the needle.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Legolas sighed and sunk into the steaming bubbles. He had managed to beat Aragorn to the bathroom for once in his life and was enjoying all the hot water he wanted. (Aragorn was notorious for using it all) So, once the tub was full of steaming water and yummy smelling bubbles, the elf sunk into it, enjoying playing with Sam's collection of ducks and sailboats.
Dipping under the water for a moment, the elf remerged and tried to wipe the stinging bubbles out of his eyes. Not doing a very good job, Legolas reached for a towel. Wiping his eyes, the elf blinked several times before throwing down the towel and making the largest rubber duck attack the little blue sailboat that was floating innocently near the end of the tub.
There was a knock on the door and Legolas hastily yelled out to whomever it was to go away. It obviously was not Aragorn, the ranger usually made some sort of audible response, nor was it Sam; Legolas could hear the hobbit's snored from the room next door.
The door opened and Legolas almost fainted. Guess who it was. come on, guess!
Well, I'll tell you. If you haven't already guessed then in my opinion you are pretty dim. It was Lamoo standing in the doorway, a silly grin plastered on her face.
"What are you doing? Get out!" yelled Legolas, grabbing the towel again, just in case Lamoo could see anything she shouldn't.
"What am I doing?" she asked, throwing Legolas's earlier words back at him. "I'm making sure you don't drown."
Legolas groaned. "I think I can work out for myself whether I'm going to drown in a bathtub full of water," he said angrily, throwing a rubber duck at Lamoo's head.
Lamoo shrugged and ducked the duck (lame pun intended). "I just wanted Leggie to be safe, there wouldn't be much point writing this fic it you drowned in the bathtub." She said, putting her hands on her hips. "Or perhaps there would. Legolas, would you mind drowning? I think this fic would be funny if you did."
"I'm not going to drown just for the sake of this stupid piece of wasted web space!" the elf yelled, throwing up his arms in frustration. "Could you please go away?!" he asked, growing more and more annoyed with this accursed author, or authoress as she liked to be called.
"Fine, suit yourself, I'll just go and keep your bed warm."
"Oh no you don't! You can go home, by the way where do you exactly live? Or you can sleep on the couch." Legolas retorted, wishing Lamoo would leave so he could get out of the bath without her watching. Sick, perverted elf fancier.
Lamoo shrugged and exited the bathroom, much to Legolas's relief.
As soon as the door closed, the elf pulled out the plug and stepped out of the bath. Hurriedly drying off, just in case Lamoo came back while he was stark naked in the bathroom, Legolas puled on his knickers, buttoning his green pyjamas over the top.
Not caring about the large puddle of water on the bathroom floor the elf huffed out of the bathroom only to yell out in fury when he saw Lamoo curled up in his bed, her messy brown hair spread all over his pillow and her legs tangles up in the sheets.
"Plenty of room," Lamoo said, moving over a bit and patting the spot beside her.
Legolas rolled his eyes in disgust and grabbed his pillow. Pulling the doona off the bed the elf went to sleep on the couch.
Unfortunately for him, Lamoo followed.
"Why wont you leave me alone!?" the elf yelled in one last, desperate attempt of ridding himself of the pesky authoress.
Lamoo shrugged and bounced onto the lounge. Legolas grabbed her by her collar and hauled her onto the floor. She folded her arms and pouted. Legolas either didn't see, or didn't care, the elf threw down his pillow, lay down on the couch and pulled the doona up over his head.
"Nightie night Leggie," Lamoo said before her snores filled the room.
Legolas grunted and fell asleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When Legolas awoke, or rather, was awoken, the next morning his heart leapt as he saw Lamoo was no longer curled up on the living room floor. However, Haldir was at the door, ringing the doorbell over and over again. Mumbling something rude under his breath Legolas stood up rather groggily and went to find something to hit Haldir with. Grabbing the phone book that was sitting on the table next to the phone, the elf opened the front door and find hie annoyed elven neighbour still pushing the doorbell button thingo.
"What do you want?" Legolas asked, not in the mood to be nice.
"What makes you think I wanted anything?" Haldir replied, putting on his most innocent expression.
Legolas sighed and closed the door in Haldir's face. The elf outside yelled and demanded to be let in. Legolas ignored him and went to have some breakfast.
Sam was in the kitchen, along with Merry and Pippin. Sam was frying eggs, as usual and Merry and Pippin were eating cocoa pops, right out of the box, no milk. The elf sighed and grabbed an apple. He bit into it hungrily and devoured the rest of it with relish.
"What are you two doing today?" Legolas asked Merry and Pippin, continuing to eat, rummaging through the pantry for the box of muesli.
"Going to work," replied Merry glumly. Pippin nodded and flicked a cocoa pop at the back of Sam's head.
Legolas nodded, feeling a lot better with some food in his belly. He remembered he also had to go to work that day so he quickly munched the rest of his muesli and went to get changed.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Aragorn sat bolt upright and rubbed his head. 'Why am I on the floor?' he thought to himself. Sitting up, the ranger looked around his room. The peach coloured walls looked exactly the same as they had the day before but Aragorn was sure something was wrong about his room. The built in wardrobe looked exactly as it had before, one door open, the other hanging off its hinges. The bookshelf still had all its books on it and none of the shelves had collapsed. It wasn't until the ranger looked at his bed that he noticed something under a blanket.
Standing up, rather puzzled, but also on the defensive in case this lump was a mustard squirting beanbag like it had been about a month ago, he pulled off the blanket only to say something he wouldn't have been caught dead saying in front of his mother.
Lamoo was curled up in Aragorn's bed fast asleep. When she woke up she told Aragorn about how Legolas wouldn't let her sleep in his bed and the floor was cold. So she had pushed Aragorn out of bed and curled up in it herself.
Not really caring, he slept on the floor all the time, Aragorn ushered Lamoo out of the room so he could get changed.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.
Merry finished the rest of his cereal before changing into his new, McDonalds uniform. Pippin did the same.
Both hobbits emerged from their room wearing green and white striped shirts, bottle green trousers, a tie and those silly little visor thingies that people who work at McDonald's wear. "What do you think Merry?" Pippin asked his cousin.
"Not bad Pippin," Merry replied straightening his tie. "Just one problem, how are we going to get to work?"
Pippin shrugged. "We could drive," he suggested.
"We could, if we had a car," the other hobbit retorted.
"How about walking?" Pippin suggested again. "Wait, no, perhaps not. It's a 15 minute drive."
"I'll take you," Legolas's voice broke in. "I have to go to work today anyway."
Merry grinned but his smile faded when he began to wonder what the elf was planning to drive. "Thanks Lego, just one thing,"
"What?" Legolas replied, getting suspicious.
"You don't have a car, we *gulp* crashed it, remember?" Pippin replied, cowering behind Merry in case the elf decided to strike out.
The elf laughed and shook his head. "I'll drive Gandalf's. My insurance will pay for a new car. I'll pick it up this afternoon." He said, grinning, feeling in quite good spirits.
Both Merry and Pippin sighed with relief and tossed Legolas Gandalf's keys.
Suddenly Aragorn came hopping into the room, trying to put on his stockings. (AN/ pantyhose) "Could you give me a lift?" he asked the elf with a pleading expression.
Legolas nodded. "Sure, but remind me, what exactly do you do again?"
"I'm a receptionist." The ranger replied proudly.
"And you need the stockings because?"
"I saw in that book over there," Aragorn said, pointing to a book titled 'my big book of occupations' that was lying open on the coffee table. "The receptionist in the bok was wearing stockings, and a tie."
"That's because the picture in the book is of a woman." Merry said, examining the picture he mentioned.
Aragorn shook his head and bluntly refused when Legolas and the two hobbits suggested he go and change into more suitable attire. Eventually, weary of nagging, Legolas, Aragorn and the two hobbits piled into Gandalf's hippie van. Legolas was planning on picking up his new car, a silver Porsche, that afternoon, but in the meantime, he had to go to work. His latest job was a florist. After being sacked from his position as a swimming instructor, the elf had inquired at the local Florist about work there. His application had been accepted and today was the elf's first day on the job.
In high spirits, the elf started the car, and the four in it set off down the road, singing.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Lamoo was still at the fellowship's house. With Legolas and Aragorn gone she found she had no one to annoy. She didn't dare venture into Gandalf's room, there had been violent explosions coming from in there earlier that morning. Merry and Pippin were also at work, there goes two more people to annoy, Frodo was having breakfast before he went to work and Sam was cooking. As for Gimli, he was still asleep. Lamoo decided not to wake him, knowing that when he was annoyed with her he'd tickle her mercilessly. Sighing, Lamoo decided to go and visit Haldir.
Slamming to door behind her, dressed in a combination of her red polka dot pyjamas as well as everybody else's wardrobes, Lamoo skipped across next door and rung Haldir's doorbell.
The elf rushed to the door, the only time he ever got visitors was either when one of the members of the fellowship wanted something, his great aunt Edna brought him some fruit cake or when he had forgotten to pay the bills. He grabbed his rusty sword of the couch and carefully peeped through a crack in the door.
"Hi!" Lamoo yelled, waving.
Haldir sighed with relief and threw open the door fully, opening his arms and giving Lamoo a hug.
"Whatcha doin today Haldir?" she asked, leaning on the doorframe.
Haldir shrugged. "Dunno, not much. You wanna come in?"
Lamoo nodded and stepped inside. Haldir's house was messy and smelled very strongly of dirty socks, lavender and coffee. It only had three rooms but to Haldir, it was home. (Even though he spent more time at the fellowship's house than his own)
One room was a bedroom, an unmade bed with a pastel pink doona cover stood against the wall while pretty white and blue bookshelves stood against the other, dusty and tired, an empty bottle of Vodka or two standing on the shelves. Clothes littered the floor along with papers and the odd coffee cup. Adjoining the bedroom was a bathroom, decorated in 70's brown. It too was quite messy. The whole contents of the laundry basket was strewn all over the floor, there was green scum forming around the edge of the bathtub and about a dozen empty shampoo bottles littering the shower floor. The mirror was cracked in one corner and the sink had hair blocking the drain. The kitchen/lounge room was not so bad. The kitchen was up one end, orange bench tops and wooden cupboards. There was a pile up of dishes in the sink and a large burn make on the bench top. A medium sized table stood in the middle of the kitchen, four chairs standing around it. A TV was standing on a small table up the other end of the room and a couch was plonked in front of it along with a coffee table and a beanbag. A massive pile of magazines was stacked up on the table along with a beer can, the toaster and for some reason a container of leg wax.
"Shall I put the kettle on?" Haldir asked Lamoo, who had made herself comfortable on Haldir's beanbag. She nodded and Haldir set to work making two cups of hot chocolate with yummy marshmallows.
"You wanna go somewhere toady?" Lamoo broke in abruptly, through her newly made cup of to chocolate.
Haldir shrugged but nodded. "Yea, like what?" he asked.
Lamoo cackled evilly and twiddled her thumbs. "You'll see,"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Gandalf grinned gleefully at the computer screen. A colourful add flashed across the screen and the wizard typed madly.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
AN/ sorry, not as much Gandalf as I thought there would be. But you can't be too cross with me? This was a pretty long Chapter! Hope it gave you all a bit of a laugh, even though it was rather lame.
I'll go and start the next one now, Love Lamoo
Don't forget to read and Review, and when you're done, check out my favourite stories list. Plenty of LOTR ones, check out Hex's LotRseer3350's and Legolas stalker's fics. Paladin Dragoon has some really funny Zoids ones. Give em a read!
Anyway, here are those lovely reviews that found their way into my inbox this afternoon.
Cotume: Well, are you back for a while? There should be heaps more chapters coming up. I'm afraid it is a bit late for you to come to the party. Sorry, don't kill me please. but seeing as how you'd like to so much, If I can, I'll squeeze you in. and to make up for it, you should get a cameo appearance somewhere in the next few chapters. Leggie as a teabag would be very drool worthy indeed. Hehe. *Drools but then jumps back because he keyboard short circuits and explodes*
LotRseer3350: Damn! I knew I shouldn't have given away all those hints. Was it really that obvious that the last chapter was rushed? Well, you're right, so clever you are! I really wanted to get it up, I cant wait to write the party chapters. Thanks heaps for reassuring me that the last chapter was readable. Don't worry, I wont leave you hanging; I love writing this fic too much!
Inweofnargothrond: how did I forget to mention that? Now that you mention it, how do the pizza people know where they live? Thanks for reminding me of that. Perhaps the fellowship order pizza so much, the pizza people know them by the sound of their voice. or not. Arg! Why do you have to be such good guessers! I'm kinda annoyed now! Oh well. Hope this chapter gains your approval.
Oddwen: how ever did you know? Oh wait, everybody sees Frodo on a regular basis putting on eyeliner, it's his favourite! Enjoy this chappie!
Anelith: *dances around* I know the feeling. Doesn't it get so annoying when you are dying to read something and the stupid author wont update? Well, that's a bit rich coming from me seeing as how I left my other fic neglected for about two months a while ago. You're welcome; I hope for your sake it wasn't algebra. EVIL!! EVIL!!!
Legolas Stalker: glad you're happy. Seeing as how you didn't make the original party list I figured you deserved a little bit of your own. I am soooo flattered; I can't believe someone said I'm their fav author! (. Thankyou! Anywhoosies, expect more funnies and if you're good, perhaps another random appearance.
Achoo: I actually don't like vegetarian pizza, but seeing as how Legolas is an elf, I figured he'd be more likely to eat that than meat lovers pizza or something. Don't forget, Sam's cooking is notorious for being quite bad. Do you think Legolas will mind if we have a cotton candy machine at our party? Hope not. Cotton candy, or as I call it, fairly floss, is yummy!
Saturndragon: I knew I should have kept my mouth shut. If you want to kiss Legolas I guess you can, as long as you don't mind sharing the elf with me. Hehe. Dares sound like a good idea! Spin the bottle perhaps! Thankyou DJ!
Holly: I love bohemian rhapsody! The coolest song! Glad you think this is funny, my mind is a bit strange sometimes, unable to distinguish whether something is funny, or just plain weird. My fingers haven't dropped off yet so you should be expecting quite a few more chappies from me in the next little while!
Paladin Dragoon: ooh, I like your new pen name. Is it supposed to be dragoon of dragon? Anywho doesn't matter. There'll be plenty of pizza for Loki to slice, PEPERoni too! Hehe. In not going to tell you who Gimli is coming as, you've probably already worked it out. Along with everyone else. *Grumbles and mumbles something incoherent* on a lighter note, hope you, CF and Loki enjoy this chappie!
Mad Dog: good stuff? Aww, thankies! *Blushes* if you really want Boromir in the story I will put him in there somewhere, just for you. Should write more about Gandalf too, seeing as how you asked so nicely. *Grins* not telling anyone anything more about Gimli's costume. You guys might know, but Legolas doesn't.
I love reviews guys, keep em coming! They make me smile knowing someone actually likes reading this blob of wasted Internet space.
Disclaimer: I own a nice red jumper, a cool mug with an elephant on it and a defaced picture of Frodo. The only thing in this fic that perhaps belongs to me is the idea, but sometimes I'm not even sure about that. Not making any profit from this bit of wasted web space as you might expect. Don't sue. no point.
Alrighty then, here is chapter 9!! Be warned, this chapter will be LONG.that all right?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Previously in 'The fellowship and the elf next door,' Legolas met his stalker, Aragorn ordered some Pepsi with the pizza, the fellowship set to work on their costumes and again, Lamoo made no weird appearance.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The fellowship hungrily devoured their pizza. That was until Frodo found something quite unnerving atop his piece of Hawaiian pizza. It might have been otherwise, but to the hobbit it sure looked like a used cotton bud covered in earwax.
"Eeew!" the hobbit yelled, flicking the offending cotton bud off his pizza. The bit of Earwax laden fluff flew and landed in Gandalf's beard. The wizard saw it and grinned. Much to the disgust of the rest of the fellowship, Gandalf picked it out and popped it into his mouth, chewing it delightedly and eventually swallowing it. Legolas suddenly rushed out of the room, looking like he was going to be sick. Sure enough, about a minute later the elf remerged looking much better, but perhaps still a little green.
Frodo wrinkled his nose and put down the bit of Pizza he was holding, opting to go for a bit of the cheese pizza instead.
Luckily, the cheese pizza did not have any disgusting bodily items atop it so Frodo munched it ravenously. With full stomachs, or in Legolas's case, one that would not hold food for long, the fellowship went to bed.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Merry and Pippin bounced into their bunk bed, Pippin taking the top bunk, Merry the bottom. The hobbits room was painted bright orange and their bedspreads were lime green. Standing on the dresser on the opposite wall stood items such as Merry's model ballerina, a whole stack of comic books and Pippin's diary. Beside the bunk stood a bedside table holding two glasses of water and for some reason a jar filled with strange blue liquid and some peanuts.
"Good night Merry,"
"Good night Pip"
Merry snuggled into his pillow and fell asleep immediately, not looking forward to the early start the next day. He had to get up for an early shift at work.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Frodo was very thankful he didn't have to share a room with anyone. Sam snored very, very loudly, Aragorn was known for sleep walking, Legolas could be very PMSy at times (despite the fact that he was a guy) and Gimli was, *shudder* fond of yellow. As for Gandalf, no body had actually seen the inside of his room in years. A strange green smoke always seemed to be coming from under his door and the fellowship would often hear odd explosions coming from the crap hole, as Aragorn called it.
The hobbit changed into his PJs (red with mushrooms) and went to brush his teeth.
Frodo was sure neither Merry's or Pippin's toothbrushes had been touched in at least a month. Cobwebs were gathering on the two colourful children's toothbrushes and Frodo shook his head as he picked up his own toothbrush. He brushed quickly, hurrying so he was sure to be out of the bathroom by the time Aragorn wanted a shower.
He rinsed his mouth and grinned at his reflection in the mirror. Stepping down from his stool, the hobbit dawdled back into his room, closing the door behind him. Frodo's room was painted a boring cream colour, pictures of Cat food adorning the walls. The hobbit dove into bed and pulled out his rifle. Aiming it at the light bulb Frodo pulled the trigger and the light went out. What an easy way to turn out the light without getting out of bed! Of course now he had to change the light bulb.
Frodo fell asleep right after stowing his gun under the bed, amongst the piles of other junk.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Gimli did not go to bed straight away, preferring to sit up and knit for a while.
Swearing, the dwarf was forced to unpick a row of stitches, realising that it would completely dement the stripy pattern he was trying to knit into the scarf he was making. Frustrated with his knitting Gimli threw down his wool and knitting needles, picking up his embroidery from his bedside table.
Gimli was a dwarf; dwarfs are not renown for being very co-ordinated. At last count, before he fell asleep, Gimli poked himself 47 times with the needle.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Legolas sighed and sunk into the steaming bubbles. He had managed to beat Aragorn to the bathroom for once in his life and was enjoying all the hot water he wanted. (Aragorn was notorious for using it all) So, once the tub was full of steaming water and yummy smelling bubbles, the elf sunk into it, enjoying playing with Sam's collection of ducks and sailboats.
Dipping under the water for a moment, the elf remerged and tried to wipe the stinging bubbles out of his eyes. Not doing a very good job, Legolas reached for a towel. Wiping his eyes, the elf blinked several times before throwing down the towel and making the largest rubber duck attack the little blue sailboat that was floating innocently near the end of the tub.
There was a knock on the door and Legolas hastily yelled out to whomever it was to go away. It obviously was not Aragorn, the ranger usually made some sort of audible response, nor was it Sam; Legolas could hear the hobbit's snored from the room next door.
The door opened and Legolas almost fainted. Guess who it was. come on, guess!
Well, I'll tell you. If you haven't already guessed then in my opinion you are pretty dim. It was Lamoo standing in the doorway, a silly grin plastered on her face.
"What are you doing? Get out!" yelled Legolas, grabbing the towel again, just in case Lamoo could see anything she shouldn't.
"What am I doing?" she asked, throwing Legolas's earlier words back at him. "I'm making sure you don't drown."
Legolas groaned. "I think I can work out for myself whether I'm going to drown in a bathtub full of water," he said angrily, throwing a rubber duck at Lamoo's head.
Lamoo shrugged and ducked the duck (lame pun intended). "I just wanted Leggie to be safe, there wouldn't be much point writing this fic it you drowned in the bathtub." She said, putting her hands on her hips. "Or perhaps there would. Legolas, would you mind drowning? I think this fic would be funny if you did."
"I'm not going to drown just for the sake of this stupid piece of wasted web space!" the elf yelled, throwing up his arms in frustration. "Could you please go away?!" he asked, growing more and more annoyed with this accursed author, or authoress as she liked to be called.
"Fine, suit yourself, I'll just go and keep your bed warm."
"Oh no you don't! You can go home, by the way where do you exactly live? Or you can sleep on the couch." Legolas retorted, wishing Lamoo would leave so he could get out of the bath without her watching. Sick, perverted elf fancier.
Lamoo shrugged and exited the bathroom, much to Legolas's relief.
As soon as the door closed, the elf pulled out the plug and stepped out of the bath. Hurriedly drying off, just in case Lamoo came back while he was stark naked in the bathroom, Legolas puled on his knickers, buttoning his green pyjamas over the top.
Not caring about the large puddle of water on the bathroom floor the elf huffed out of the bathroom only to yell out in fury when he saw Lamoo curled up in his bed, her messy brown hair spread all over his pillow and her legs tangles up in the sheets.
"Plenty of room," Lamoo said, moving over a bit and patting the spot beside her.
Legolas rolled his eyes in disgust and grabbed his pillow. Pulling the doona off the bed the elf went to sleep on the couch.
Unfortunately for him, Lamoo followed.
"Why wont you leave me alone!?" the elf yelled in one last, desperate attempt of ridding himself of the pesky authoress.
Lamoo shrugged and bounced onto the lounge. Legolas grabbed her by her collar and hauled her onto the floor. She folded her arms and pouted. Legolas either didn't see, or didn't care, the elf threw down his pillow, lay down on the couch and pulled the doona up over his head.
"Nightie night Leggie," Lamoo said before her snores filled the room.
Legolas grunted and fell asleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When Legolas awoke, or rather, was awoken, the next morning his heart leapt as he saw Lamoo was no longer curled up on the living room floor. However, Haldir was at the door, ringing the doorbell over and over again. Mumbling something rude under his breath Legolas stood up rather groggily and went to find something to hit Haldir with. Grabbing the phone book that was sitting on the table next to the phone, the elf opened the front door and find hie annoyed elven neighbour still pushing the doorbell button thingo.
"What do you want?" Legolas asked, not in the mood to be nice.
"What makes you think I wanted anything?" Haldir replied, putting on his most innocent expression.
Legolas sighed and closed the door in Haldir's face. The elf outside yelled and demanded to be let in. Legolas ignored him and went to have some breakfast.
Sam was in the kitchen, along with Merry and Pippin. Sam was frying eggs, as usual and Merry and Pippin were eating cocoa pops, right out of the box, no milk. The elf sighed and grabbed an apple. He bit into it hungrily and devoured the rest of it with relish.
"What are you two doing today?" Legolas asked Merry and Pippin, continuing to eat, rummaging through the pantry for the box of muesli.
"Going to work," replied Merry glumly. Pippin nodded and flicked a cocoa pop at the back of Sam's head.
Legolas nodded, feeling a lot better with some food in his belly. He remembered he also had to go to work that day so he quickly munched the rest of his muesli and went to get changed.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Aragorn sat bolt upright and rubbed his head. 'Why am I on the floor?' he thought to himself. Sitting up, the ranger looked around his room. The peach coloured walls looked exactly the same as they had the day before but Aragorn was sure something was wrong about his room. The built in wardrobe looked exactly as it had before, one door open, the other hanging off its hinges. The bookshelf still had all its books on it and none of the shelves had collapsed. It wasn't until the ranger looked at his bed that he noticed something under a blanket.
Standing up, rather puzzled, but also on the defensive in case this lump was a mustard squirting beanbag like it had been about a month ago, he pulled off the blanket only to say something he wouldn't have been caught dead saying in front of his mother.
Lamoo was curled up in Aragorn's bed fast asleep. When she woke up she told Aragorn about how Legolas wouldn't let her sleep in his bed and the floor was cold. So she had pushed Aragorn out of bed and curled up in it herself.
Not really caring, he slept on the floor all the time, Aragorn ushered Lamoo out of the room so he could get changed.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.
Merry finished the rest of his cereal before changing into his new, McDonalds uniform. Pippin did the same.
Both hobbits emerged from their room wearing green and white striped shirts, bottle green trousers, a tie and those silly little visor thingies that people who work at McDonald's wear. "What do you think Merry?" Pippin asked his cousin.
"Not bad Pippin," Merry replied straightening his tie. "Just one problem, how are we going to get to work?"
Pippin shrugged. "We could drive," he suggested.
"We could, if we had a car," the other hobbit retorted.
"How about walking?" Pippin suggested again. "Wait, no, perhaps not. It's a 15 minute drive."
"I'll take you," Legolas's voice broke in. "I have to go to work today anyway."
Merry grinned but his smile faded when he began to wonder what the elf was planning to drive. "Thanks Lego, just one thing,"
"What?" Legolas replied, getting suspicious.
"You don't have a car, we *gulp* crashed it, remember?" Pippin replied, cowering behind Merry in case the elf decided to strike out.
The elf laughed and shook his head. "I'll drive Gandalf's. My insurance will pay for a new car. I'll pick it up this afternoon." He said, grinning, feeling in quite good spirits.
Both Merry and Pippin sighed with relief and tossed Legolas Gandalf's keys.
Suddenly Aragorn came hopping into the room, trying to put on his stockings. (AN/ pantyhose) "Could you give me a lift?" he asked the elf with a pleading expression.
Legolas nodded. "Sure, but remind me, what exactly do you do again?"
"I'm a receptionist." The ranger replied proudly.
"And you need the stockings because?"
"I saw in that book over there," Aragorn said, pointing to a book titled 'my big book of occupations' that was lying open on the coffee table. "The receptionist in the bok was wearing stockings, and a tie."
"That's because the picture in the book is of a woman." Merry said, examining the picture he mentioned.
Aragorn shook his head and bluntly refused when Legolas and the two hobbits suggested he go and change into more suitable attire. Eventually, weary of nagging, Legolas, Aragorn and the two hobbits piled into Gandalf's hippie van. Legolas was planning on picking up his new car, a silver Porsche, that afternoon, but in the meantime, he had to go to work. His latest job was a florist. After being sacked from his position as a swimming instructor, the elf had inquired at the local Florist about work there. His application had been accepted and today was the elf's first day on the job.
In high spirits, the elf started the car, and the four in it set off down the road, singing.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Lamoo was still at the fellowship's house. With Legolas and Aragorn gone she found she had no one to annoy. She didn't dare venture into Gandalf's room, there had been violent explosions coming from in there earlier that morning. Merry and Pippin were also at work, there goes two more people to annoy, Frodo was having breakfast before he went to work and Sam was cooking. As for Gimli, he was still asleep. Lamoo decided not to wake him, knowing that when he was annoyed with her he'd tickle her mercilessly. Sighing, Lamoo decided to go and visit Haldir.
Slamming to door behind her, dressed in a combination of her red polka dot pyjamas as well as everybody else's wardrobes, Lamoo skipped across next door and rung Haldir's doorbell.
The elf rushed to the door, the only time he ever got visitors was either when one of the members of the fellowship wanted something, his great aunt Edna brought him some fruit cake or when he had forgotten to pay the bills. He grabbed his rusty sword of the couch and carefully peeped through a crack in the door.
"Hi!" Lamoo yelled, waving.
Haldir sighed with relief and threw open the door fully, opening his arms and giving Lamoo a hug.
"Whatcha doin today Haldir?" she asked, leaning on the doorframe.
Haldir shrugged. "Dunno, not much. You wanna come in?"
Lamoo nodded and stepped inside. Haldir's house was messy and smelled very strongly of dirty socks, lavender and coffee. It only had three rooms but to Haldir, it was home. (Even though he spent more time at the fellowship's house than his own)
One room was a bedroom, an unmade bed with a pastel pink doona cover stood against the wall while pretty white and blue bookshelves stood against the other, dusty and tired, an empty bottle of Vodka or two standing on the shelves. Clothes littered the floor along with papers and the odd coffee cup. Adjoining the bedroom was a bathroom, decorated in 70's brown. It too was quite messy. The whole contents of the laundry basket was strewn all over the floor, there was green scum forming around the edge of the bathtub and about a dozen empty shampoo bottles littering the shower floor. The mirror was cracked in one corner and the sink had hair blocking the drain. The kitchen/lounge room was not so bad. The kitchen was up one end, orange bench tops and wooden cupboards. There was a pile up of dishes in the sink and a large burn make on the bench top. A medium sized table stood in the middle of the kitchen, four chairs standing around it. A TV was standing on a small table up the other end of the room and a couch was plonked in front of it along with a coffee table and a beanbag. A massive pile of magazines was stacked up on the table along with a beer can, the toaster and for some reason a container of leg wax.
"Shall I put the kettle on?" Haldir asked Lamoo, who had made herself comfortable on Haldir's beanbag. She nodded and Haldir set to work making two cups of hot chocolate with yummy marshmallows.
"You wanna go somewhere toady?" Lamoo broke in abruptly, through her newly made cup of to chocolate.
Haldir shrugged but nodded. "Yea, like what?" he asked.
Lamoo cackled evilly and twiddled her thumbs. "You'll see,"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Gandalf grinned gleefully at the computer screen. A colourful add flashed across the screen and the wizard typed madly.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
AN/ sorry, not as much Gandalf as I thought there would be. But you can't be too cross with me? This was a pretty long Chapter! Hope it gave you all a bit of a laugh, even though it was rather lame.
I'll go and start the next one now, Love Lamoo
Don't forget to read and Review, and when you're done, check out my favourite stories list. Plenty of LOTR ones, check out Hex's LotRseer3350's and Legolas stalker's fics. Paladin Dragoon has some really funny Zoids ones. Give em a read!
