Disclaimer: Joss still owns it all and he won't share it with me.  pout

Song by Sarah McLachlan

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Chapter 3 - Dreams

She heard a voice calling to her in the distance.  It was his voice…Spike's voice softly calling her.  His voice like that of a siren was acting like a beacon pulling her, tugging her in its direction…the direction of his voice.  That's when she saw him.  It was as if the scene from the last time she had seen him was playing out again for her.  Except this time he was standing in a fire.  The flames engulfed him.  He didn't look as though he were in pain though, until he saw her.  Her heart went out to him.  The look on his face was of utter heartbreak.  As she looked up into his eyes, her heart almost stopped.  What she saw did not surprise her.  Those beautiful cerulean eyes reflected utter longing.  He still longed for her and his eyes pleaded with her to save him…to save him from the fire.  Was this a dream?  Was it truly him?  Then she heard it again…his beautiful voice.  It was the voice she thought she would never hear again.

"Buffy…luv."

Her heart swelled to hear his beautiful voice again.  She stood there facing him with open-mouthed awe.

"Luv…please I need your help."

His voice was so raspy she thought.  Her tears threatened to overtake her again.  She was at a complete and total loss as to what she could do to help him.  "Spike, is it really you?"

"Yes, Buffy it's really me."

"Oh God!  Oh my God!  Oh Oh!  What can I do?  "  Her tears started anew slowing trailing their way down her face."

"Luv don't cry."

"Oh God!  Spike I've missed you so much.  I love you.  I told you, but you didn't believe me.  Oh please.  I love you so much.  I want you back!  Please come back to me!"  Her legs collapsed then and she slowly sank to the floor in a heap.  Her sobs racking her body as she started to rock back and forth.

Spike's face wore a bittersweet smile as he listened to her.  "Buffy…luv listen I don't have much time and I need your help."  Buffy was not responding to Spike's pleas to listen to him.  He feared he would not have much more time.  So, he called to the slayer in her.  "Slayer I can't believe you would let the death of one good for nothing vampire get you like this!"

Something in Buffy snapped when she heard this.  "You weren't good for nothing.  I loved you…so much!  I regret so many things, but the main thing I truly regret is not letting you know earlier how I felt about you.  I loved you with everything in my soul.  The girl in me fell in love with you so long ago, but the Slayer part of me fought it.  Though it wasn't long before the Slayer couldn't deny you either.  She saw the warrior in you and looked upon you as a kindred spirit.  We…I saw so much strength in you…saw what you were and what you had become.  When you told me that night that I was the one...I knew then…I knew you were the only one for me.  So don't you ever, ever tell me you were worthless, because you are what kept me going in those final days before the fight with the First!  I always thought we would have tomorrow, but then you were gone."

Spike's face wore a small hint of his trademark smirk as he listened to her rant.  "Luv I knew when you told me that you loved me that you meant it.  Hell, I knew you loved me well before you said it.  If I had told you that I believed you, I know you wouldn't have left.  I couldn't let you stay though luv.  You wouldn't have survived.  I needed you to live though luv.  The others needed you and I needed you to live for us…to carry our love.  I need to tell you something though luv.  I am running out of time."

"What is it Spike?"  She stood up and walked closer to him wiping her tears as she went.  She stopped right in front of him.  She noticed that the flames weren't actually burning him or were they.  He was part of the flames, but he didn't seem to be in an actual pain from being on fire.

"It won't be long now.  Help me Buffy!  Help me!  It's almost here!  It's almost time!"

"Spike what is almost here?"  The panic inside of her was building to an almost impossible crescendo.

"The Phoenix will rise!  The Phoenix will rise!"

Buffy awoke with a start still clutching his shirt.  Her eyes were frantically searching the room for Spike and then she realized it had been a dream.  She needed to write this down.  She was positive it had been a Slayer dream.  Her mind was racing as she tried to remember everything from the dream.  Not letting go of his shirt, she looked around for something to write on and grabbed a notebook she had been jotting her thoughts down in.  She closed her eyes and began deep breathing to calm herself.  Then she picked up her pen and began writing.

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I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard

But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Weep not for the memories

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Spike hoped Buffy would be able to figure out what he meant.  He had become frantic there at the end because he knew his time would be up in mere seconds.  So the only thing he had known to do was to scream out that cryptic phrase.  "The Phoenix will rise.  The Phoenix will rise."  He could only talk to her in her dreams.  He had known that she was mere moments away from her awaking.  Surely she would have the others research and they would discover the truth about the amulet. 

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tbc

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