AN/ chapter 16! Will do all my author notes at the end as well as reply to reviews.

Disclaimer: Lamoo sat dazed in front of the TV. Jack Sparrow and Will turner suddenly pop out. Legolas is sitting on the couch next to Lamoo and he rolls his eyes and groans.

"Mwa haa haa! I own all of you!" cackled Lamoo. Jack, Will and Leggie all sent scared looks Lamoo's direction. "Or perhaps not," Lamoo added.

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Previously in the Fellowship and the Elf Next Door, the party crazies continued, Legolas and Boromir got a little pissed at each other, Nellie suggested everyone play murder in the dark, Haldir ate some raw pasta, Anya and Cotume played cards with Aragorn and Frodo and kicked the guy's asses and last but not least, Merry and Pippin licked the sugar off the inside of the fairy floss machine.

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"Oh I am so going to find you," Lamoo muttered to herself as she crept through the dark and silent house.

Sam was hiding under the living room rug and grunted loudly as Lamoo tripped over him.

"Great hiding spot Sam," Lamoo remarked sarcastically.

"I know," replied Sam with a grin as he wriggled out from under the rug and rose to his feet.

Lamoo rolled her eyes and with Sam's company, continued the search for everyone. Nellie was hiding behind the living room curtains, but unfortunately, her glowworm costume was glowing and she was a bit on the obvious side.

"I see you Nellie!" gigged Lamoo.

"Oh darn!" Nellie grumbled. "Atua Miqula Orqu,"

"That was not nice," commented someone else from behind the couch.

"Hi Anelith," said Lamoo, knowing who was there without even moving the couch to find Anelith.

"How did you know it was me?" Anelith wanted to know.

Lamoo shrugged. "Cos I remember you writing all this stuff in elvish in one of your fanfiction chapters and I figured you probably spoke a bit of elvish,"

"Hmm, clever reasoning,"

Lamoo giggled. "I know, isn't it?" she asked, pleased with herself.

"Um," spoke up Sam timidly. "Shouldn't we still be looking for people? And what did Nellie say?"

"I told her to go and kiss and orc," Nellie replied. "Very rude aren't I?"

Sam nodded freely.

"But yes," added Lamoo. "Mr Bean will be even more pissed off with me than he already is if I leave him hiding in Pippin's bed all night,"

"How did you know where he was?" wondered Anelith.

"Oh, I dunno," answered Lamoo. "Just a hunch I guess. Also I know everything about what goes on here, I make it up as I go along,"

"Right, that's why things are so weird around here," spoke up someone else.

"You can come out Glorfy, I know you're next to the fireplace." Lamoo said coolly.

"Why did you make me hide there?" asked Glorfindel. "What a cruddy place to hide,"

"Mainly so I could find you," replied Lamoo. "But in case you didn't notice, you came to the party as a tree, how are you supposed to climb things without falling over?"

"I am an elf!" retorted Glorfindel.

Lamoo nodded. "I know that, but an elf in a cardboard tube that's supposed to resemble a tree trunk isn't usually very mobile. Now, if you'll excuse us, I'm still trying to find everyone else."

Glorfy sighed and shrugged. "Go on then," he said.

Lamoo, Anelith, Sam and Nellie continued their hunt.

"Lamoo," began Anelith. "If you know exactly where everyone is, why do you bother looking for them?"

Lamoo cackled evilly, causing Sam and Glorfindel to shoot worried glances her direction. "Cos I know that some of these people are hidden in quite uncomfortable places. Most of them hate me enough already, so it wont hurt to let them stay hidden a bit longer will it?"

"I guess not," replied Anelith. "Makes sense. Why don't you go and find Legolas so I can give him a hug?"

"I think I will now, be interesting to see how he decides to climb down off the tops of the kitchen cupboards." Lamoo said. "But I get the first hug,"

Anelith agreed this would be ok, she could always get Frodo.

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"I wish she'd hurry up and find us," whispered Elladan, who was squished into the broom cupboard.

"Mmm hmmm," came Legolas's reply. "I know, I think Aragorn put rat traps up here,"

"Ouch," said Elrohir from the pot drawer. "But why would be put rat traps on top of the cupboard with the plates and stuff in it?"

"Search me," replied Legolas. "This is Aragorn we're talking about though. He sometimes does some pretty dumb things."

"Hey, like you don't?" spoke up Aragorn; he was still in the kitchen.

"Well as far as I know, I have never cut my thumb on a pair of tongs, nor have I somehow shut my hair in the car door."

Anya spoke up. "Hair?" she asked.

"Yes hair, you know, that long stuff growing out of your head," replied Legolas. "

"Why did he shut it in the car door in the first place?" Cotume asked.

Everyone heard an audible sigh coming from the top of the cupboards. Legolas spoke. "Because it was one of those days where Aragorn parades around outside nude after he's been drinking a lot and eating a lot of sugar. One time, on one of his weekly, erm, adventures, he got a fence post stuck up his ass,"

Anya and Cotume giggled but Frodo shuddered.

Legolas continued, "Anyway, he was looking for gum under the seat in his car and closed the door because it was draffy. He must have neglected the fact that his head was actually preventing the door from closing."

"You people are very strange," Lamoo's voice came from the doorway and the evil authoress clicked her mini flashlight. "By the way, I found you all, Legolas get down off the tops of the cupboards, Elrohir is in the pot drawer and Elladan, stop making out with the mop.

Lamoo flicked the light on and opened the door of the broom cupboard. Inside Elladan was talking to a mop, and then kissing it tenderly.

"It's not what you think!" yelled the elf in panic. "We're just good friends!"

"Sure," replied Lamoo. "And Haldir, stop eating the pasta,"

Sam yelped.

"Oh, I forgot, Sam's supposed to be scared of pasta. Anyway Haldir, the fellowship are supposed to be having spaghetti tomorrow night." Lamoo said putting her hands in her hips.

Sam yelped again.

Lamoo ignored the hobbit's yelp and continued. "How am I supposed to write about Gandalf spilling boiling water over everything while cooking the pasta if you eat it all?"

The crunching stopped and Haldir opened the door to the pantry. "Sorry," he mumbled through a last mouthful of raw ravioli and climbed out of the pantry. Elladan sidled out of the broom cupboard, but not before telling the mop he'd be back later. Elrohir was stuck in the pot drawer and Glorfindel, Haldir and Elladan had to pull him out. Legolas was still on top of the cupboards, trying to work out how to get down. With a sigh Lamoo reached up and grabbed the elf's hair. She pulled and poor old Leggie came tumbling down to the ground for the second time.

"Sheesh," exclaimed Legolas. "You could have warned me!"

"Sorry," replied Lamoo. "Come on, I still have to find the others. Lego, you and Haldir go and get Laura, Holly and Saturndragon, they're outside in Merry and Pippin's tree house."

"Cool, they never told me Merry and Pippin had a tree house!" remarked Haldir.

Legolas rolled his eyes. "You think he might have noticed by now that half his fence is missing." The elf muttered to Elrohir. "That pile of fence posts and that orange tarp in that tree aren't exactly camouflaged either."

"Go on!" ordered Lamoo. "Get on with it!"

Legolas and Haldir scampered out of the kitchen and Lamoo went the other way with Nellie. Anelith and Glorfindel as well as the twins had stayed in the kitchen and were now digging through the fridge with Anya and Cotume.

"Yay! Rum!" giggled Cotume. Anya just shook her head.

Lamoo and Nellie ran down the hall. The bathroom was closest so Lamoo decided to find all the people hidden in there first. Lamoo knew who was in the bathroom, but was not counting on CF sitting on top of the door. The authoress pushed the door open a little too quickly; CF gave a yell and tumbled downwards, Lamoo breaking her fall.

"Sorry about that," apologised Lamoo as CF got off her and straightened her hat.

"That's ok," replied CF.

Lamoo grinned and crept over to the sink. "Hex?"

"Sorry, Hex isn't here right now, please leave a message," came the voice from inside the cupboard under the sink.

Lamoo giggled. "Tell Hex to come out now cos we're gonna play pass the parcel soon. Plus there's more food."

Hex threw open the door excitedly and clambered out. "Oh goody," she said happily.

Suddenly there was movement from the direction of the shower. The shower curtain was moving by itself. Hang on a minute, no it wasn't. Mel tossed the curtain over her head and stepped out of the shower. "I want to play pass the parcel!" she said.

Lamoo nodded. "So do I, but I have to find the others," she said. "You three can go and find Merry and Pippin, they're in the fairy floss machine."

"Fairy floss machine?" wondered Hex "why?"

Lamoo shrugged. "Cos they're Merry and Pippin I suppose. Anyway, onwards to Merry and Pippin's room!" Lamoo strode out of the bathroom and into Merry and Pippin's room. The lights were still out so Lamoo said something she shouldn't have when she whacked her knee on the edge of the bunk bed in the darkness.

"Arg, damn this accursed darkness!" she muttered crossly. Then Lamoo heard a snicker from the side of the room. Lamoo clicked her mini flashlight into action, even though that was sort of against the rules, and crept towards the sound.

Loki was squeezed in between the bookshelf and the wall, laughing at Lamoo's idiocy.

Lamoo grinned evilly as an idea came to her. "Loki?" she said quietly. "There's some peppers here for you."

The sentence worked as she'd intended and Loki sprung out of his hiding place and began to look blindly around the dark room for the peppers.

"Aw, turn on the light!" he said. Lamoo obliged and flicked the switch. "Where are my peppers?" asked Loki with his hands on his hips.

Lamoo rummaged around in her pocket and a jar of hot peppers magically appeared. "There you go," she said handing Loki the jar and plonking down on the bed. There was a muffled yell and Lamoo jumped up again when she realised she'd sat on somebody.

"Oh shit, it's you isn't it?" she said miserably to a very annoyed Mr Bean who was squirming his way out of his hiding place.

"You sat on me!" he yelled furiously.

Lamoo shrugged. "So? Get over it! Be thankful it wasn't Legolas."

"What's wrong with Legolas?" asked Nellie from the doorway.

"Nothing, he is perfect." Lamoo replied. "Mr Bean is just odd and hates that elf. I reckon he's jealous. but I'm not going to say that because he'll make my life hell."

Nellie nodded. "Fair enough," she said before disappearing back into the kitchen for some food.

Lamoo left Mr Bean to glare crossly at objects in Merry and Pippin's room while she went to find everyone else.

Banx was a little tangled in the curtains in Legolas's bedroom so she wasn't too hard to find. Several other people were hidden under the bed and they all wriggled out one by one.

"I think that's everyone," said Lamoo. "Now back to the kitchen for food!"

Everyone grinned and followed Lamoo, turning the lights on along the way.

Now that everyone had come out of hiding. This kitchen was jam packed with people.

"People, out of the kitchen please!" bellowed Aragorn at the top of his lungs, trying to be heard over the chatter. With a sigh the ranger climbed up on the kitchen bench. "Everyone, OUT!" he yelled, but it was to no effect. Finally Frodo was forced to grasp a saucepan and a spoon and bang the pan loudly to get everyone's attention. "Thankyou," Aragorn said to Frodo. The hobbit smiled and put away the saucepan. Aragorn turned back to the crowd. "Everyone, please go into the living room, there's not enough room in here!"

People gradually started to file out of the small kitchen and chatter resumed.

"That was very interesting," said a voice from the door. Aragorn looked over and saw two men standing in the doorway. One had long dark hair and a red head bandy bandana sort of thing tied around his head and was wearing a lot of eyeliner, the other had shorter, curly brown hair tied back into a pony tail and was wearing a very large hat with a fluffy feather sticking out of the top.

"You two are a bit late for the party." Aragorn told the one with the hat without looking up from pouring more chips into a bowl. Aragorn then looked up and nearly choked.

Frodo raised his eyebrows further than he thought was possible. "LEGOLAS!!" bellowed the hobbit.

The elf came rushing into the kitchen, thinking something had happened. "What? What did Aragorn do this time?"

"Nothing," replied Aragorn.

"As of yet," Frodo kindly added.

Aragorn sent the hobbit a furious glare but turned to Legolas who had just noticed the two guys standing in the door.

"Who are these two?" asked the elf. "Say, do I know you?" Lego asked the man with the hat, who was also wearing what looked like a cloak that Haldir would wear, red.

The dude with the hat shook his head. "No, you don't know me," he said bluntly.

"Shut up Will," muttered the guy with the eyeliner. "Let me do the talking and don't do anything stupid."

Will and Legolas both raised their eyebrows in the same funny sort of way, causing Aragorn to choke even more.

"This is freaky," commented Arwen, who had joined Aragorn, Frodo, Legolas and the two guests in the kitchen.

The bloke with the eyeliner grinned and walked up to Arwen. "Good evening My Lady," he began. Arwen narrowed her eyes and slapped him. "I don't think I deserved that," the guy with the eyeliner said.

"That was mean Arwen," Lamoo came skipping into the kitchen and scampered up to the guy with the hat.

"Who are you?" he asked.

Lamoo beamed. "I am Lamoo," she began. "Authoress of this tale, supreme ruler of Lamoo Land,"

"Um, right." Said the dude with the eyeliner.

"We don't know her," whispered Frodo. "She just appeared one day and started making out lives hell."

The dude with the eyeliner nodded as if he understood. "How interesting, I know what you mean," he commented.

Legolas suddenly lost his temper. "All right you weirdos, who the hell are you?" he asked.

The dude with the hat looked taken aback. Lamoo rolled her eyes. "Now, now Leggie, don't be rude."

The guy with the eyeliner spoke up. "Well, I am Smith, or Smith," he said.

The man with the hat suddenly burst out laughing at these words. Lamoo sighed and shook her head. "Come on Jack, be nice, Leggie's already pretty confused as is, just tell the truth,"

"Confused?" muttered Aragorn. "Drunk more likely,"

"Drunk?" spoke up Jack. "Drunk on what? Rum perhaps?"

Lamoo shook her head. "No, actually just beer and whiskey. Now get on with it and tell my elf who you are,"

Jack nodded. "Fine then, I am Captain Jack Sparrow," he said. "And you," he added, pointed to Legolas, "Blondie, look very familiar,"

Lamoo suddenly giggled as Legolas caught sight of himself in the mirror on the wall to the right of the dude with the hat. Legolas looked at his reflection then back at the guy with the hat. Then he fainted.

"Wuss," muttered Sam who had joined them. Lamoo scowled and clouted Sam over the back of the head.

The guy with the hat didn't faint but was looking rather pale. "I don't think he knows who I am," he commented.

"Neither do we," added Frodo. "Who are you? Legolas's cousin or something?"

The guy with the hat shook his head, whacking Jack in the face with the feather on his hat. "No, not that I know of." He said. "I'm William Turner."

Unfortunately for Will he said those words a little too loud, all the girls in the living room some how heard. They all came rushing into the kitchen, almost trampling Legolas, who was still out cold on the floor.

Will and Jack jumped in fright and reached for their swords. "We only wanted some rum!" wailed Jack.

"You mean you wanted some rum," muttered Will.

"Don't bother everyone with minor details, who are all these people?" Jack said.

Lamoo stepped froward after hauling Leggie to the side so he wouldn't get waked on, and cleared her throat. "Well," Lamoo began, "I am Lamoo, that's Aragorn, Frodo, Sam, Arwen, Legolas is under the table," she said, pointing to each person. "And these two are Elrohir and Elladan, and that dude over there is Elrond."

Elrohir and Elladan waved. "Say, are you Legolas's cousin or something?" asked Elladan.

Will shook his head. "For the second time, no."

Elrohir smiled. "Sorry, you just look al lot like him, apart from the fact that you're not blonde, or blue eyed, or an elf, or a teabag,"

"So that's what he is," commented someone.

Elrohir continued. "He's also a little taller and doesn't have icky stuff all over his face,"

"Icky stuff?" Will wanted to know.

"Yea," replied Elrohir, "that stuff on your lip and chin, you need to wash your face. You there, guy with the eyeliner, your face is even dirtier"

Both Jack and Will looked confused.

Aragorn laughed and rolled his eyes. "Stupid elf's talking about your manly stubble,"

"Um, ok then," remarked Will, backing away from Elrohir a little.

"Don't mind them," added Lamoo, pushing Elrohir and Elladan back into the crowd. "They're elves, only place they've ever seen the faintest trace of facial hair was on Aragorn or Santa Claus." Elrohir and Elladan began whispering things to each other, pointing out something else about Will or Jack's looks that were different. "Anyway," continued Lamoo. "Those four over there are Hex, Mel, CF and Anelith," all four waved. "That's Laura and Saturndragon, Holly and elf girl," Laura was gazing longingly at Jack and Will, drooling a little. Saturndragon was fidgeting with the tail of her Pikachu costume, Holly was busy trying to find her 'I Love Will Turner' Badge and Elf girl had fainted. "That wasn't supposed to happen, just giver her a kiss and she'll wake up."

"Go ahead Will, kiss her" said Jack, pushing his younger buddy towards the fainted Elf girl.

Will shook his head. "I cant! What would Miss Swan think?"

"Will you call her Liz already?!" yelled Jack. "This Miss Swan crud is annoying me to no end. And I don't care what you think." Jack pointed to elf girl, "Besides, she might bite,"

"Don't worry, if she does, just smack over the head and send her to her room," replied Lamoo.

"Her room?" pondered Pippin. "But she doesn't live here!"

"Be quiet Pippin, I want to see what happens!" ordered Merry.

Lamoo sighed. "Well, if neither of you two are going to kiss her now, someone put her under the table with Legolas, she should smell his hair right away and wake up,"

Nellie and Ainsley grabbed a hold of Elf Girl's feet and dragged her under the table next to the elf, who was still out cold. Elf girl smiled and snuggled up to Legolas's hair.

"That was completely unnecessary," commented a voice from the back of the crowd. Mr Bean pushed his way forward.

Lamoo rolled her eyes. "And this guys, is the wonderful Mr Bean," she said in a sarcastic tone. "He doesn't like Orlando Bloom much, or Legolas for that matter, so Will, don't expect him to be too nice to you."

"Thanks for the warning," replied Will, swallowing hard and gripping the hilt of his sword so tight his knuckles went white.

"Be quiet Lauren," said Mr Bean. "Who do you think you two are?" he asked.

"Oh yes, in bloody Australia POTC hasn't been released yet, so anyone here from Australia basically knows nothing about your lives, who you are or what your names are." Lamoo said to Will and Jack who were getting more nervous by the minute.

"WAIT FOR US!!!" yelled two voices. Two girls climbed in through the window, both dressed in much the same manner as Will and Jack. Marissa grinned and straightened her hat while Aelimir stood triumphantly, sword out of its sheathe, waving it around.

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TBC

AN/ hehe, that was very, very weird, but I hoped you all liked our two wonderful pirates. Guys, please let me know if I said I'd do something and then didn't. I really appreciate people telling me, helps me get back on track. So if you notice I said something, like something I'd get a character to do or something, then didn't end up writing about it, please, PLEASE let me know.

Anywho, time for reviews now. Was going to do them at the beginning, but I was too impatient to answer all of them when I had ideas for the story. Sorry that chapter was rather dry, I am never again going to do things in this fic with lots of people, it just doesn't work.

Anywho, thanks for reviewing, here are your replies.