Borrowing from the incredibly sad episode called, "Cogenitor".
The Vissian's were nice enough but Buffy was uncomfortable. Jon was watching a star go supernova with a Vissian scientist and Buffy was watching Trip get closer to their cogenitor.
The Visians were a humanoid race that had an interesting social structure. Their married couples could not have children without a third member, an androgynous person call a Cogenitor. Cogenitors were used for one purpose, to conceive and carry a child for a couple. It took years for a couple to get permission and then receive a Cogenitor, a special privilege. The cogenitors were considered unintelligent and were only for one purpose, so they were not allowed to learn. Sort of like the attitude towards slaves pre Civil War.
Unfortunately Trip decided that was wrong and was teaching it, behind everyone's back, even after T'pol had warned him to back off. Shit.
Buffy was concerned but Malcolm was busy and Jon was gone. By the time she had decided to talk to Trip, the whole thing had blown up in their faces.
The Cogenitor had wanted more, wanted to stay on the ship and learn more, wanted the freedom from her life. Captain Archer denied the request, not wanting to interfere with Vissian culture, anymore than Trip already had. Trip was disappointed in his friend and let him know.
Unfortunately it became worse, the Cogenitor committed suicide. A couple would now never have a baby and it was Trip's fault. Jon had called Trip in and the conversation was harsh. Jon was disappointed in Trip and told him so, and made sure Trip knew it was his fault that the Cogenitor had died.
Buffy crept in to see Jon after the altercation, wincing to see such pain on his handsome face. "Jon?" she asked quietly, startled at the way he whipped around to face her.
"I just wish to hell that he would stop trying to change everyone! He knows better. T'pol warned him! Is that too much to ask?" he said harshly.
Buffy sighed, "Jon, you have to realize that Trip's tender heart for the underdog is part of him." She said reasonably.
His head shook negatively, "The Cogenitor committed suicide Buffy. He interfered and a person is dead and a baby will never be born!" He snapped.
He watched Buffy go pale then she turned to the door. "Where are you going?" he asked, dreading the answer.
Without turning, "I'm going to be Trip's friend. I know T'pol and Mal have laid into him, and now this. He needs me." She answered; relieved she didn't have to look into his eyes at that moment.
Jon was angry with himself, angry with Trip and sad for the loss of a life and his mouth moved before his brain kicked in, "If you go to him, don't come back."
Buffy turned to face the man she loved, "What?" she asked incredulously.
"I know you heard me." He gritted out, already wishing he could take it back but not knowing how in his present state.
Her hazel eyes looked into his, "Jon, I love you, but you will not tell me how to help my friends, notice the emphasis on friend. When your brain comes back, come and see me." And she stormed out.
Jon's head dropped in defeat. He'd lost both Trip and Buffy with this disaster.
Buffy pressed the chime to Trip's door and received no answer. "Trip, open this door." She demanded.
"Go away Buffy." Came his weary voice.
"Commander Charles Tucker, open this door before you have to fix it!"
The door slid open and Buffy went straight to her friend and wrapped her arms around him. Trip sighed brokenly and held her tightly. "It's not the end of the world Trip." She whispered, rubbing his back in soothing motions.
"It is for the Cogenitor."
Buffy pulled back, "Suicide is a personal choice. You didn't pull the trigger or whatever. If she/it whatever, decided that life was unbearable, that decision was hers and hers alone."
Trip's eyes were miserable, "T'pol warned me but I didn't listen. I thought I was right. I shoulda left it alone."
Buffy's face was somber, "20/20 hindsight is a wonderful thing, but listen to me. One of the reasons we became lovers was because I could see your tender heart. You want to help, that's a good thing!"
"Good?" he choked, "Jon's disappointed in me and angry. Mal's pissed. I can't see the good in anything."
She sat on his bed and patted her lap. He lay his head down on it, curled up for comfort. She gently brushed his hair with her fingers and sighed deeply.
"Don't feel bad, Jon's mad at me too."
"What?" Trip sat up.
"He gave me an ultimatum. If I go see you, don't come back. Here I am." She shrugged and watched Trip open and close his mouth several times.
"Is he crazy?" Trip demanded incredulously, his Southern accent so thick you could cut it with a knife..
Buffy smiled, "He's angry at himself, at you, at the Vissians even."
Trip shook his head, determined to do this one thing right, "You can't just throw it away Buffy. You love him."
She nodded, "I do, but he has to realize I always stand up for my friends and he won't dictate what I feel."
"God, I've screwed your life up too." He groaned.
She took him by the shoulders, "Charles Tucker, I made my own decision. Jon made his, you made yours. Now we have to live with it. Can you?"
He shook his head slowly, "The Cogenitor is dead and it was all my fault. I'll have to live with it, won't I?" Sorrow deep in his eyes.
"Trip, you're one of my best friends, it's done, you can't take it back but you can learn from it." She cupped his face. "I know that your heart is broken, but it will get better." Buffy said, eyes serious on his.
"I wish I could change time." He said softly.
"No, no you don't. Then you would have learned nothing and how is that supposed to make you grow?"
His blue eyes twinkled slightly, "I woulda been better to ya."
Buffy snickered and nodded in satisfaction. "There's my Trip, now lay back down." He did with a heavy sigh and she absently ran her fingers through his hair, "When do you have duty?" she asked quietly.
"Tomorrow mornin'."
"Ok." She said softly. She stayed until he fell asleep, then covered him up, made sure his alarm was set and left.
Standing outside his quarters she pondered where to go. Feeling a little hungry she headed for the crew mess and found Dr. Phlox alone inside.
"Hello Buffy, what brings you here so late." Buffy smiled at the Doctor and grabbed a banana. "I need to recharge and then I was going to find you."
His face looked surprised, "Me? Are you injured?"
She shook her head, "Nope. I was wondering if I could sleep in sick bay tonight." He sat back and regarded her thoughtfully, "Indeed."
"Jon and I had a fight. I need a place to sleep." She shrugged and bit into her banana.
"Why don't you talk to him first?"
"Not until he gets his head out of his ass." She declared with some asperity.
Dr. Phlox laughed, "A physiological impossibility but a colorful turn of phrase."
"So can I?"
"Of course, plenty of room." He said generously and she smiled, "Thanks Doc."
She waited until Jon was on the bridge to get a change of clothes, brush, shampoo etc. She fed Porthos and played with him for a minute, looking around with a sigh. "Men are idiots." She decided and left their quarters.
Jon was upset. He came back to their quarters and knew she'd been there. Porthos was fed and some clothes and her shower stuff were gone. He sat down heavily and sighed. He'd screwed up royally. He'd give her the night to calm down then he'd apologize. Neither of them slept very well.
Buffy took special care to look nice the next day. When Doctor Phlox came in, he smiled, "My goodness. Don't you look nice."
Her hair was in a French braid, her makeup was a little deeper and she had a new uniform coverall in deep green that the tailor made for her. "Is it enough to make him suffer?"
Dr. Phlox smiled back, "As a husband of three wives I applaud the tactic."
Buffy went into the crew mess and got her tray. Trip stood, his eyes wide when she came in, "Wow Blondie, you look great!" he said. She checked him over carefully, and aside from the sorrow in his eyes and the lines of stress around his mouth, he looked better than he had the night before.
Travis nodded, "You look smashing dahling." He teased gently.
Buffy smiled, "Thank you gentleman."
Jon felt vaguely like a stalker. He waited outside the crew mess so he could see Buffy. He'd heard she spent the night in sickbay. After a restless night he had come to the belated realization that he had been jealous of Trip, and Buffy and Trip's old relationship.
Buffy came out of the crew mess with Travis and Hoshi, meeting Malcolm in the passageway. Jon had eyes only for Buffy. She looked more beautiful than ever. When Trip came out to stand with them, jealousy hit him hard again and as he headed towards them Buffy and his eyes met.
She nodded coolly, "Captain." Her voice was chilly. "Excuse me guys, my stomach is a bit upset. I'll see you later." And Buffy walked away. Malcolm, Hoshi and Travis looked at the Captain in surprise. Trip whistled softly, shaking his head and walked away.
"Commander, we need to talk." The Captain said but Trip shook his head, "I've got Engineerin' duty Sir." And he left as well.
"Sonuvabitch." Jon cursed under his breath and spun on his heel and left. Travis, Hoshi and Malcolm stood there with their mouths open.
"Oh damn." Malcolm said and the others nodded silently.
Buffy taught two classes and then did Tai chi. Closing her eyes she sank into herself, moving from form to form, totally unaware of any externals. Jon was watching in the doorway wistfully. Her tank top was damp with sweat, and he knew what it tasted like between her breasts. God, he needed to make up with her.
Shaking his head he went to talk to Hoshi and get her advice.
Hoshi shook her head when he'd finished telling her what he'd done. "Boy Sir. You really blew it."
There was a grimace, "No, really?" he asked sarcastically.
She cocked her head, "Do you know that you were wrong? She'd never do that to you."
His eyes closed, "The thing with the Vissians, and the Cogenitor and Trip, it all threw me for a loop."
Hoshi nodded in sympathy, "I was sorry to hear she suicided. Commander Tucker must have been devastated, but Buffy was just being a good friend."
Jon sighed, "It's one of the things I love about her."
Buffy was sitting at Dr. Phlox's computer, reading quietly when the door to sick bay opened and Porthos trotted in. A piece of paper was tied to his collar.
"Porthos! What are you doing here?" Buffy asked the dog. She took the note from the wagging animal and opened it.
"Dear Buffy, I love you. I know I screwed up and I have no excuse. Please let me explain and apologize and feed you tonight. With all my heart, Jon."
Buffy smiled slightly, "Is he outside?" Porthos barked and she went to the door, looking out to see Jon lounging in the passageway, amber eyes wary. "So, are you here to grovel?" she asked tartly.
He strode to her and cupped her face, taking her lips in a bruising kiss. Pulling back, his eyes intense, "I am so sorry for being such an ass. I love you, will you forgive me?"
Buffy placed a gentle hand on his cheek. "I forgave you already you idiot. I know what happened was terrible, but you're the Captain and I'm not. I needed to comfort our friend because you couldn't." her hazel eyes were serious in her face, but filled with love.
He pulled him to her in a tight hug, "I love you."
Reveling in the feel of his body pressed against hers she stood there for a moment before she pulled back and gestured to her bag, "Get that while I leave Doc a note."
Jon looked around, "Where is Dr. Phlox anyway?" he asked.
Buffy was typing quickly, "Ensign Hawkins burnt himself on a plasma conduit."
"Is he alright?" Jon asked, immediate concern for his crewmember.
The Doctor walked in, hearing the last question, "The Ensign will be fine. It was an insignificant burn, but even those are painful."
"Thank you Doctor." Jon said and Buffy deleted her message. "Since you're here you can see we've kissed and made up."
"I'm happy to see that. Do you have everything?"
"Yep, thanks for letting me stay."
Dr. Phlox looked
at his Captain with warning in his eyes, "Anytime Buffy, anytime."
