I am terribly sorry for any mental trauma this chapter may cause. We still don't own anything

--

There was a man with a spike of brown hair standing next to a slightly shorter man wearing a dress.
"Dude!" Jou hissed to Seto, "Is that Yugi?!"
Seto shook his head. "No, but it sure as hell looks like him..."
They watched as Number Honda raked up his winnings, not even noticing the hint of gold behind the man's glasses.
Jou started to walk towards the table. Seto stopped him. "What are you doing?!"
The blonde replied, "Man, I got this." He reached the table. "Mind if we sit in?"
"Please," Number Honda replied.
"I am Akira Toriyama," Jou announced, "and this is my lovely wife, Sakura."
Seto slapped his forehead as the man in the dress suppressed a giggle and Number Honda raised an eyebrow.
"You're aware your wife is male, Mr. Toriyama?"
Jou faltered a moment and looked at Seto. "Why, yes I am."
"And that he has a girl's name?" The man in the dress said.
"Yes."
"My mother was mentally unstable," Seto interjected, trying to save some face. "Just call me Kura."
"Alright then. I am Number Honda, and this is my... friend, Yami," he indicated the man in the dress.
"Number. That's an interesting title," Jou commented nonchalantly.
"Oh, that's not a title, it's my name."
"... Ah."
Number Honda laughed. "Well, excuse me, but I have to go to the little boys room." Off he went, with Seto in close pursuit.
Jou sighed, leaning on the table. "Mr. Toriyama?"
He looked up to see Yami sitting next to him.
"Ah, Miss- er, Mr. Yami, yes?"
"Just Yami, no mister." He threw himself onto Jou. "I just /love/ blondes..."
More than a bit disturbed. Jou tossed the man off of him. "Agh! Yami, please! I'm a happily married man!"
"Oh, pull the other one. Your Kura looked pissed the second you said you were married!"
"He did?"
Yami nodded. "And you're too pretty to be with someone like him, anyway..."
Jou shuffled to the edge of his seat, grinning nervously.
"Plus," Yami added in a sing-song voice, taking hold of Jou's hand and holding it up. "No wedding ring!" He smiled triumphantly.
"Alright, you got me there, but still! Not interested!"
"Are you /sure/?" Yami purred, pressing himself to Jou.
Jou shuffled away more and fell off his chair. He looked up to see Yami, grinning.
"Terribly sorry Mr. Toriyama!" Yami said in an obviously fake voice, "Need a hand?"
"N-no, I'm fine..."
In a flash, Yami had pulled him up and was pressing against him again. "Come on... when was the last time you were with someone?"
Jou pushed him away, sweating. "Really! I'm fiiiine!"
As Yami's touches became increasingly intimate, Jou became more panicked. He cried over his shoulder, "Seto!" He then realised what he had just done.
"Seto?" Yami smirked. "Who's that?"
"Uhh... Seto is... my pet name for Kura!" He gave a slight grin, hoping Yami would buy it.
Yami apparently bought it, and sighed. "You're a hard one to crack... I love that in a man."
He started nuzzling Jou's ear, who was trying frantically to push him off.
No human could be in the toilet for so long!
Jou leapt out of Yami's grasp. "I'm gonna go check on Kura... just in case... something!" he cried, racing off to the bathroom.
He ran into Seto, who was returning. "Jou! You idiot! I lost him!"
Jou's eyes narrowed. "You... you what?!"
"He disappeared."
"In the bathroom?" He pondered how one could disappear in the bathroom.
"... Eeew..."
Seto sighed. "Come on, let's get back to the table."
"Let's not. That Yami guy freaks me out. He wants me worse than you do."
"Not that that's a hard measure to break," the brunette grumbled.
"You know you want me, Kaiba. You want me baaaaad."
"I want to kill you, yes." Seto sighed.
Jou gave a low laugh. "Where do you think he went?"
"How should /I/ know?"
"You were right behind him."
"He went into the stall. I wasn't about to follow him in there."
"You think he flushed himself?"
Seto stared at his partner. "Yes, Jounouchi, he went down the toilet."
"Cool!"
Seto sighed again. "There was an air vent above his stall. He might have crawled away."
"Without Yami-in-a-dress?"
"Maybe he figured Yami could handle himself."
"Oh, he can," Jou commented. "He can handle so much, he was trying to handle me, too."
Seto chose to ignore the remark. "I'm going to try and get some information about Number Honda from the casino employees. You go pump Yami for information."
"As long as he doesn't pump /me/..."
"Stop whining and do your job, puppy." Seto went off to question someone at the bar.
Jou glanced towards where Yami still was, sipping wine of some sort. "'Do your job, puppy'..." He mimicked. "Hah. I'll do my job!"
He returned to where Yami was sitting and was immediately affronted again.
"You're back!" Yami said cheerily. "I knew you couldn't stay away, cutie!"
"Yeah, I just couldn't resist you," Jou managed, forcing a laugh. *Just play along for now,* he told himself.
Yami got closer and started rubbing his back. "So... are you up for that offer?"
"Ah... offer?"
"Yes!" Yami laughed, "My offer!"
Jou forced a smile. "I forgot!"
Yami nibbled Jou's earlobe and it took all the blonde's strength to not grimace.
"So... uhm... Tell me, what do you do exactly? Erm, occupation-wise."
"Well, actually, I just hang around Number Honda and seduce men."
"Ah. Well, what does Honda do?"
"He works in middle management at Ring Corp." His hands worked there way under Jou's shirt, earning a yelp.
"Ring Corp?" Jou asked, doing his hardest not to throw Yami away.
"Yes... he works for Dr. Bakura. Have you heard of him?" Yami started unbuttoning his shirt.
"Uh, no. Can't say I have..."
"He's an evil genius. Gonna take over the world through middle management." His hands had found their way to Jou's chest.
Jou sprung to his feet. "Uhh, would you like a drink or something? 'Cause I'm going over to the bar for a sec and uh..."
"No, I've already got something, dear," Yami indicated his wine. "Hurry back!" he called after the blonde.
"I hope I never come back," Jou grumbled.
He saw Seto, drinking.
"What are you doing?!" He said in a low growl.
Seto looked up. "I'm taking a break. What are you doing?"
"I'm trying to get the hell away from Yami! "
"Have you gotten anything useful yet?"
"Besides a back massage? Yeah- Dr. Bakura's company's called Ring Corp, apparently. Number Honda's in middle management."
"Really?" Seto said with a hint of interest, "Mind getting some more information?"
"No! If I go back, he'll drag me to some hotel for the night!"
"I'd do it, if it was for good information." Seto lied, trying his hardest not to grin.
"Yeah, and does that make you a better agent or a better /whore/?" Jou taunted after ordering a drink.
Seto grabbed him by the collar. "What'd you say, Mutt?"
"Careful. We're supposed to be married, remember?"
"Oh, cut the crap. No one believes we're married, or that you're Akira Toriyama. Could your alias have been any more obvious?!"
"Well excuuuse me! I was just thawed out of cryogenic ice this morning!"
Seto glared at him. "That gives you no excuse to be a total moron. Now go back and get that information!"
"No! He'll-"
"I. Don't. Care. Get the information, and do your job!"
Jou narrowed his eyes, paid for the drink, and slowly went back to where Yami was, cursing under his breath.
"Welcome back," Yami greeted him in a sing-song voice, those his words were slightly slurred. Jou eyed the empty glass in front of him.
"Sooo... Are you staying at the Ring Corp headquarters?"
"Yeah... why?"
"I, uh, just wanted to know where you'd be in case I wanted to get together with you later..." He forced a grin.
"Well, here..." Yami scribbled the address and phone number on a napkin and handed it to Jou. "Make sure to call me," he sang with a wink.
"Thanks, I will."
"'Course, we could always just hit a hotel around here..." Yami suggested, pressing his body to Jou's.
"No, no..." He shook his head quickly, "I've heard the places around here are awful..."
Yami didn't seem to believe him. "Fine, beautiful... but I'll be very angry if you don't show up..." There was a glint in his eyes that made Jou gulp. He didn't, for some reason, want to see Yami angry.
Jou quickly downed his whole drink. "Look at that, I need a refill." He laughed nervously and rushed back to the bar. He shoved the napkin into Seto's hand. "Do we have enough information /yet/?!"
"Yes..." Seto smiled sadistically, "For now. You're going to go see him later."
"What?!"
"Consider this punishment for being such an annoying idiot."
Jou half sobbed. "There is no god."
"Come on, mutt. Let's get back to headquarters. Say goodbye to your boyfriend."
Jou sighed and, as they passed, quickly said, "Sorry, Yami, gotta run! See you later! Bye!"
Outside, Seto got on the bike, making sure that Jou wouldn't grab onto him again.
"I'm becoming atheist."
"Good for you." Seto said in a tone that indicated he obviously didn't care.
"It's all your fault. You've destroyed my faith."
"My greatest achievement to date."