A Witch's Journal
Part 6: Welcome Back
It's All Coming Back to Me
November 2, 2001
Buffy called Janice's house. A giggly Janice answered.
"Are you guys having fun?"
"Buffy? I'll get Dawn, she..."
"No. I just want to...check on her. She doesn't need anything, does she?"
"I think she's all set."
"Good. Tell her to call me if there is anything I can bring her."
"What's that noise over there? Yelling? Is everything..."
"It's the TV. I should turn it down. So Dawn can call me if she needs anything."
"Sure."
Buffy hung up then went to close the door to her room.
"Do you want her to turn out like Buffy!?"
It was her father's voice.
Buffy backed away from the door and she couldn't hear what her mother yelled back, only that she did.
She went into the bathroom and closed the door. She could still hear raised voices. She turned on the faucet.
November 5, 2001
Buffy's Dad is back. That should be great news. But he found out about the slayer thing and all the other weird stuff and freaked out. Especially after Dawn went on a date with a vampire and almost got killed.
Dawn agreed to go to Portugal with him for a few months. She wanted to keep the peace, mainly. Also she seemed restless here. She is such a traveler now, all worldly.
Something about my locator spell: I modified it into a spell to help lost ones find their way home. It got Joyce and Dawn back here. It's also why Buffy's Dad came back. Now Oz is back too. He seemed really confused about how he ended up driving here instead of Saskatchewan.
I guess he's home.
Things have been hard for him. Now that he has some control over himself, it takes a lot out of him to keep it. He seemed tense and exhausted. Not like Oz.
To think he was one biting toddler away from being a regular guy. Well, not a regular guy, but a regular Oz.
For Better or Worse
November 7, 2000
It was an empty UC Sunnydale hallway. Classes were in session. They could hear a muffled lecture through the nearest door.
"You want to marry me despite the wheelchair not because of it, right?" Oz asked, leaning back, his fingerless gloves crumpled in his lap.
"I want to be with you because of you. And because you can do a wheelie. And play guitar."
He did a wheelie and made Willow smile.
"I just want to have it straight. I know I'm a catch. I have the hair. I'm cute as a button."
"And you can do a wheelie."
"And play guitar."
"So will you?"
February 26, 2002
I cast another spell to try and help Oz. He is still paralyzed but at least I still have my hubby.
I remember how he was after the last operation failed. The look in his eyes when he knew. He wants to walk again. I can't give up.
But every time I try to use magic to cure him something goes wrong. It only gets worse the more I try. Tara told me as much. I wouldn't listen.
She helped me set things back. She says there is still something off, but things seemed OK to me.
Until I flipped back in the journal and read about Oz finding his way home, driving to Saskatchewan? That never happened. The notebook is full of things that never happened.
It's one of the glitches from the spells. They messed up my journal. I guess I'm lucky that's all that stayed messed up.
I'm so grateful to Tara for helping me fix things. And for her friendship. And it is just friendship. There was that thing that happened in her room. But it's just friendship.
When I'm talking to Tara, sometimes I forget what time it is and I have to tiptoe into the bedroom so I won't wake Oz. It reminds me of when Buffy and I used to talk like that and I had to sneak back home or get a big lecture.
I haven't spoken to Buffy in days. And it was days before that time. I don't know what's going on with her. But I know she's so alone. Giles is in England. Joyce and Dawn are gone again. Joyce's new job takes her all over the world. They asked Buffy to come with them but she chose to stay. I was glad then, but now I'm thinking maybe she should have gone.
I feel responsible for the way she is. I thought she would get better. Being brought back has set her apart from everyone.
Riley's visit just made things worse. He shouldn't have come back. Or he shouldn't have left in the first place.
My, What Big Teeth You Have
April 17, 2001
Riley had been missing for almost two days. Buffy saw him standing under her window and for a second she thought he was a ghost.
Standing like a statue, Riley stared up at her until she left the window to go to him. He approached Buffy casually, like he had nothing to explain, and stopped a few feet away. He looked at her in a way she found familiar and all wrong. He moved differently. When he smiled, she knew.
After the first stunned, pained expression, Buffy's face went blank.
"What? This is what you like. Check me out. It's your great, first love all over again."
Riley moved forward. Buffy stood still until he was within her reach then she staked him. She closed her eyes as he dusted, the wind blowing him all around her.
April 20, 2001
I can't believe Riley self-destructed like that. Buffy said it was a long time coming. I had no idea. He seemed so solid. I guess no one is really solid on the inside.
OK, now I'm flashing back to the cadaver insides. Just when I think I'm getting used to all the gross Gross Anatomy stuff. I am not looking forward to the day we get to uncover the head.
I think I'm on the right path. I know it's a Maggie Walsh path. I don't want to be that kind of doctor, but she had some things right. Demons do have incredible regenerative powers. I just need a tiny bit of demon, the rest is science. I know I can cure Oz.
Everyone is always amazed at how well he has adjusted. But why should he have to adjust? Why should he learn to be at peace with this when I can fix it.
We're Not in Kansas Any More
February 26, 2002
Oz stood, he walked. He could run if he wanted. He just couldn't go out where anyone might see him.
"I can fix this. I..."
Willow was interrupted.
"You can do anything."
Those weren't words of encouragement.
"I'm him now, aren't I?" Oz spoke in a quiet, thoughtful tone. "Pete, the guy who beat his girlfriend to death when I couldn't stop him and he broke my back, put me in the wheelchair for three years."
He looked at her.
"That was hard. I guess it was hard for you too."
"I wasn't..." Willow started then just watched.
Oz moved around as if trying out his legs.
"They work. But do you see that?" Oz gestured at her arm with his disfigured hand.
His wedding ring was embedded into the undifferentiated piece of swollen flesh that was once his fingers.
"I did that. I gave you those cuts."
Willow held her arm protectively.
"It's just a scratch and it was an accident."
"Don't make excuses!" Oz snapped but then his voice was hushed and even again. " I'm not me any more. You aren't safe."
"I'll figure something out," Willow pleaded.
"No. I can't be here."
He moved to leave, then stopped. Half turning to her, he asked, "Why were you so desperate? Didn't we have something real? It wasn't just pity all this time? I was happy, pretty satisfied. Why weren't you?"
To be continued
